Faith vs. Cults

 

A little while ago, I had a conversation with a person who effectively said that religion itself was a root of evil, as it is used to control people and to do what is not in the interest of humanity.  I countered that all 3 major western faiths teach the same thing.  Then I followed that there is difference between having faith and being in a cult.  

I don't see that having a religious faith is bad, especially when a person questions and tests that faith every day.  One of the tenets of my faith is to treat others as I would have them treat me under the same circumstances.  Given that simple code of behavior, I often fall short of my ideal.  I am not perfect, so I have to accept imperfections in others. No one person has "THE" answer to life.  My faith tells me that I have "AN" answer to life. I question both my answer and people who claim to have their answers every day, so that I can improve my answer. This allows me to "live and let live" as long as that other person doesn't impinge on my life.

Contrast the above with the beliefs of a cult.  People blindly follow the directions of their leaders, not questioning whether those directions go against the official tenets of their belief structure.  The ultra orthodox in every religion tend to use extreme rules to control people, to keep them from even forming the questions that would set them on the path to unique personal faiths.  In short, this is tyranny hiding behind the label of religious freedom.

Look at the first statement in the image above: The Leader is Always Right.  Do Trump's followers ever say he is wrong about anything?  I haven't heard any of them say anything like this.  Next, look at the lack of criticism of the leader.  Isn't it amazing that GOP loyalists never question Trump's statements even when they are provable lies?  What about justification?  As much as I didn't like Hillary Clinton, I never could justify putting her, or any in the Democratic party in jail for opposing the GOP.  I could go on and on through the list, fleshing things out.  But the most important thing, as with many ultra orthodox religious followers is that they can't see themselves as part of a cult.  They see themselves as possessing the only "truth".  Everything else is a lie that must be stamped out.

Right now, we have an important choice to be made in November: Do we want to surrender our freedoms to a minority cult?  Or, do we want to preserve our freedoms, and live according to our individual faiths?  Hopefully, we will make the right choice in a few months....

So much to do, and so little time left to do it.

All too soon, I'll be flying to London for a 14-day cruise through the Norwegian Fjords.  I'm a bit apprehensive about the unknown, and I know that I'll have to dot my I's and cross my T's in both preparing for this trip and going on this trip.  I've made sure that my passport is in my carry-on bag.  But there is so much I have yet to do before leaving on this trip.

- - - - - -

Somewhere, I made a checklist of clothes I'll need on the trip.  Other items were on this list as well.  But I can't find the list.  This is something I'll take care of tomorrow when I'm more awake.  In addition to packing, I still need to do some laundry before the trip.  Unfortunately, I'll be making this trip as Mario, so I can't bring along a nice dress or two for formal nights.  But I will have a good time anyway.

Unlike other cruises, I'll be able to do some laundry while onboard the ship.  Of course, I'll take care of some of RQS's stuff in the same loads.  At home, I spend $4.00/load (plus $1.00 in detergent).  On the ship, each load will cost $7.50-$9.00 depending on the cost of the detergent.  Either way, being able to do a load or two while on the ship will be a great life saver.

With everything that's going to go on, I'm making sure to have an extra battery pack (for phone recharging), as well as a set of European SIM cards for use in my spare cell phone.  (I can leave the US phone in airplane mode and avoid roaming fees.)  This way, I can still make a phone call when I need to while in the UK, Norway or Belgium, and not worry about roaming charges. (Just turn airplane mode back on when returning to the ship to be safe.)

I can't help but think that I am missing something.  Keep your fingers crossed for me....

Getting little things out of the way

 

OK, this is not a good shot of it.  But this piece of equipment cost me the better part of 2 hours (maybe more) in trying to get my internet running with a faster interface unit.  If I had known what I was about to get into, I might have said: "To Hell With It!" and waited until I got back from my trip.

But first....

I spent much of the day as Mario, simply because the co-op's board meeting was to be held thins evening, and I was in charge of the Zoom link.  It didn't make much sense for me to go out as Marian, especially when I wasn't going to have enough time to enjoy myself before the meeting.

Around 4 pm, I started to work on switching over from the old cable interface box to a new one, and this is where the trouble began.  Given that the new unit was not registered to my account, I would have to call the cable company for technical support.  Unfortunately their IVR ("Intelligent" Voice Response) got me hung up in the wrong part of a diagnostic loop and wanted to have a service technician come to my house to fix the problem.  Given that I knew that the problem could be fixed remotely, I stumbled into the opportunity to reach out to a human for help - and was on the phone for over an hour.  But this wasn't the end to my troubles.  Although I got my main computer up and running with a wireless connection (I prefer wired connections to some hardware) I couldn't get anything else running with a wired connection, as the old router no longer worked.  This meant that I was stuck having to use a new wireless network name, and this triggered more work for me.

The next task I started was to get my Roku devices up and running.  This was a minor headache, as all I had to do was find the network and enter the password. Next, I had to configure both my Chromebook and my laptop to use the new network.  And this was a little bit more of a pain than I expected. But then, the fun began.  I wanted to set up the wireless connection to my all-in-one printer/scanner/copier. Given that the machine is a little bit old, I had to use an awkward setup routine to enter in both the network name and its password.  This also meant that I had to get up on a stool to use the controls on the machine to enter this data.  Aargh!  One slip, and I'd have broken my neck.

For the most part, connecting to the new network is done.  Yes, I have to update settings on both my iPad and my cellphones to use the new network.  But this is a lower priority than just getting the important stuff up and running.

- - - - - -

I did a little packing today for my upcoming vacation.  There's still a lot that has to be done.  But I'll do the bulk of this tomorrow, as this will be the last, best chance to get this done before I go down to RQS's place....

Crossword Puzzles - a short post, but a long solution

 

Years ago, I used to do the NY Times crossword puzzle almost every day.  Monday's puzzle was usually the easiest, progressing in difficulty until Sunday was reached.  On Monday, the cycle would start again.  This week, I tried to do Monday's puzzle, and was able to get it done in a couple of hours,  I guess the skill I honed many years ago is still there - fill in the blanks as best I could, then revise my answers when one clue proves another answer was wrong, repeating as needed.

One of the best puzzles I saw was a marriage proposal, where both future husband and wife were puzzle aficionados, and the Times' staff took pains to help this man surprise his future fiancee.  I loved seeing it, as it was a one of a kind special request that showed that the Times isn't as stuffy as it could be.  Another puzzle had the names of three US Presidents whose images adorned US paper currency. (As a former employee of a bank, I could relate to this puzzle!)  Most of the time, I didn't get all of the clues or answers.  But I had fun trying to find the solution.

Now that I'm retired, I have the time to get back into this pastime.  I'll let you know if I find a fun puzzle with entertainingly quirky clues and answers....

Zooming with friends - a short post

 

I don't have too much to say today....

This morning I got up for a morning appointment, then went home for a nap.  By the time I was conscious again, it was 3 pm and I had to get ready for a zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.

Now, I really wasn't in the mood to talk much today, as my mind is preoccupied by my upcoming cruise.  So, I stalled in getting ready, but got dressed as Marian a little before 6 pm, and went down to the local pizzeria to get something good to eat.  On the way down, I refreshed my money supply, so that I'd have extra spending money for the week.  While driving, I called LK to confirm tomorrow's lunch - and this ended up being a no-go.  She is (as expected) occupied by her children, and unable to handle visitors.  I was a little disappointed, but not enough to be depressed.  LK tends to let life get in the way of her plans, and I guess she will always be doing this.  (At least, she has a life....)

Once done with dinner, I went back to the house to start the zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  Both my friends came on, as well as RQS - our usual foursome.  It was nice to chat with everyone again.  But I know I was flagging, as I'm still dealing with my lack of sleep last night.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get up early tomorrow, so that I can get a lot of tasks done to prepare for the cruise.

I was supposed to get a Liver Scan but....

 

When I last went to my doctor, he wanted to have me get a liver scan.  Today was supposed to be the day.  However, events conspired against this from happening as planned....

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The last time the doctor gave me a script for a liver scan, I was hesitant in doing so.  There is a part of me that avoids doctors, and it took me a bit of time to get in the habit of letting a doctor monitor my health.  As I've said before, part of the reason I don't like doctors' visits is that I know that I'm not in the best of shape, and I haven't been willing to make the sacrifices needed to get into better shape.  (Round is still a shape, isn't it? 😀)  It's so much harder to do so in my middle 60's than it was in my early 40's.  But it can be done.  I just haven't done so.

To prepare for this test is simple - just avoid ingesting any fluids or solids between midnight and the morning of the test.  This is what I did.  My alarms woke me up after 3-4 hours of sleep, and I was at the clinic by 9 am.  Shortly after I arrived, the Ultrasound technician called me in and told me there was a problem with the script.  I was not the only one that had this problem.  Doctors are asking for a Fibre Scan, and the technician said that her group does not do this test.  Nor do they have anyone in the larger group that does this.  Something was wrong, and my doctor's office wasn't answering the phone.  So I was sent on my way with a simple question on my mind - what did my doctor really want done, and where could I get this done?  I figure that I'll let the doctor answer this question when I see him next week.

My morning was shot, as I had already gone out as Mario when it wasn't needed.  But there was one saving grace.  I could finally get some breakfast....

RQS went home, and I got keys made - a quick post

 

One of the problems with going about as a female is that almost everything one carries around during a typical day is carried in a handbag.  My problem concerns the headache of carrying around a key fob for my car which weighs more than the key that it replaced, then pulling my keys out of my handbag when I wanted to open my front door.

But first....

It was time for RQS to go home today, so we hung out as long as we could before going out for a quick lunch.  As has been my habit all weekend, I put on a comfortable dress and drove to the nearest Mickey D's for some takeout.  By the time we got there, school had let out and we realized that we'd have to run back to the station before eating our food if she were to make her train on time.

We got to the station in time for RQS's train, and I stopped for a few minutes to finish my lunch.  And then, I decided to make a run to Walmart to get a key chain and to get some keys cut.  Well, I picked up the key chain in the above picture - it's certainly something no cisgender male would have for himself.  Yet, I still had another store to visit.  Walmart's key cutting machine claimed that one of my keys was an uncommon key which required cutting off site for $7.00 - so, I cancelled my order and decided to go to the Home Depot nearby.  Once in the store, I had to wait for service, as two other ladies were in front of me waiting to get their keys cut.  Fifteen minutes later, I had the four keys on the ring and I was ready to go home.  Arriving at home, I found that all four keys worked as expected.  I was able to more easily find these keys in my bag.  So, I hooked my car's key fob into my bag where I couldn't lose it (or the original keys attached to it).  Now, it'll be much easier for me to open up my front door when I get home.

My refrigerator door was open for an undetermined period yesterday, and I wouldn't trust the perishables inside the refrigerator compartment.  Given my upcoming trip, I won't replace these perishables until I return.  So, I decided to go out to eat.  It was nice to be addressed as a female again, as I entered the restaurant.  As much as I could have eaten a more inexpensive dinner if I cooked it myself, I enjoyed what I ate.  It was a nice way to end the day....

Starting a weekend with RQS - a quick post

 

Unless something is otherwise said, I try to wear dresses as much as possible during the summer months.  I find them much more comfortable than trouser like garments, and as a T-gal, I feel it a privilege to finally be able to wear them.  Yet, I am getting comfortable with the idea of wearing some trouser like garments when cisgender women will be found doing the same thing.  Hopefully, I will soon get some use out of all the garments I purchased at the Flax barn sale in the near future.

So, when Friday came around, I made sure to put on a nice dress and meet RQS at the station before taking a nice drive to the store to pick up some things I needed - such as a new set of jumper cables for the car.  Once we got back home, I prepared dinner, and we were in for the evening.

Saturday started off as another relaxing day.  But we both were interested in seeing the movie "Summer Camp", a tale of 3 women who became friends at a summer camp, and then attended a reunion 50 years later.  So, around 4 pm, we went to Pleasantville, NY and caught the movie there.  Was it a great movie?  Far from it.  But it you liked a movie such as "Book Club", you'll likely enjoy this film.  

When we got home, we found that the refrigerator door was open a crack and that food wasn't as cold as it should be.  (The door stop holding the door shut wasn't in tight enough.  I guess I'll have to call Frigidare service when I get back home.)  Luckily, most of the stuff in the ice box is non perishable, and the freezer compartment was still ice cold.  This is one more thing I have to be aware of before my next trip....

We're not sure of what we plan to do tomorrow.  So I'll write more later on....

I can hardly believe it! 34 counts - all guilty!!!!

 

I wish I could have been in the courtroom to see the verdict delivered.  For some, it's a happy day because Trump got his comeuppance. For others, it's a sad day because their cult leader has been chastised.  To me, it's a good day because: (1) The justice system finally prevailed against Trump after all of these years, and (2) karma has "bitch slapped" a bully - the latter being something that made me happy.

Sadly, this is only the conclusion of act one.  We're likely to see a long intermission between act two (the Georgia case), act three (the January 6th case), and act four (the Mar a Lago case).  Although sentencing should take place on July eleventh, I doubt that Trump will be made to serve his sentence until after the election - if we're lucky.

America is so divided these days, in part because of Trump, that objective facts no longer exist for members of his cult.  Lunatics are making death threats against people who dare to do their jobs in our polarized political climate.  The 12 jurors + 6 alternate jurors may be free to talk with the press, but they have been instructed not to do so for their own safety.  Heck, even the jury that convicted Al Capone didn't have to worry about repercussions from his mob.  But this jury has to worry about repercussions from MAGA loons for years.  This is not right.

So now, we have to see what both the appeals process brings and what happens when the US Supreme Court makes its rulings in regard to the January 6th case and the Georgia case.  (I have no hope for a good result in the Mar a Lago case, due to the corrupt judge in charge of the case.  Even though I don't expect any progress on the 3 remaining cases before Election Day, I hope to see progress before it's too late....

An early dinner with a friend

 

Last night, I mentioned to Pat that I wish I could have been born a cisgender female who looked like this when younger.  If I were younger and in better health, I'd consider plastic surgery to make my face look more like this.  Today, I had lunch with a friend who has no idea that I am not a cisgender female.

- - - - - -

MAR is 36 years old, and doesn't have a good career.  I'm not really sure of how she got her bachelor's degree, as I think that this must have been a struggle for her.  But I digress.   

We met at the local pizzeria around 5:00 pm, just as the Trump verdicts were coming in.  The conversation we had was pleasant, focusing on things like getting a new job.  The last time we met, I mentioned that New York State was on a hiring spree, and that she should take the civil service tests to try to get a job with benefits.  Did she do this?  No.  So, I mentioned that the post office is looking for people and that she should apply at their open house to be held next week.  Do I think she'll do this?  Probably not.  But one can hope.

Before we left the restaurant, the waiter took $100 in $20's from us, and we asked for change of the extra $20.  He thought we had given him $80, and got confused.  Luckily, this didn't become a problem for us, as he gave us $20 from his own pocket - from which we gave him $15 back in a tip.

- - - - - -

My next destination was to Yonkers to pick up the lost earring - the hostess of game night found it, and was ready for me when I got there.  Sadly "Murder Mouth" (as she calls her dog - it can't be trusted around visitors) wouldn't relax, and that meant I couldn't stay and chat.  So, it was back home for the evening and to the basket of laundry that needed folding.... 

Was she dead or alive? Inquiring minds wanted to know.

 

I hadn't seen Pat in months, and I haven't been able to reach her by voice or text.  Given that she's 84 years old, I figured that I should take a drive to her care home to see what was going on....

- - - - - -

Today's weather report predicted a strong chance of rain for the evening - but I decided to brave the weather anyway.  So, around 6:30 pm, I decided to get dressed and drive across the river to Pat's care home.  As I crossed the river, the clouds looked ominous, and I knew that heavy rains were going to come.

I arrived at Pat's place around 7:15, and the receptionist said "long time, no see". Then she told me how to use the new system to record visitors to the building.  My face was scanned, and then I proceeded upstairs to see Pat.  Strangely enough, we got into a serious conversation where we didn't disagree much. Then we talked about me being transgender and how she didn't understand why a man would want to be a woman.  I noted that I didn't have severe gender dysphoria, but that I would rather have been born female - with all the problems that women have to deal with throughout their lives.   The conversation then shifted to sex, but not in a graphic way.  Specifically, I wondered why human males evolved to have 25%-33% more average body mass than human females, and how this is reflected in the first position we think of when a man and woman have sex.  I contrasted this with Bonobo ape sexual behavior, wondering if there is any beneficial evolutionary advantage in how humans have sex.

Of course, I can't do our conversation justice.  It was one of those "you had to be there" moments that will be forever lost in time.  But I did look at Pat's phone to see why she says she is having trouble with the phone.  And I found that she didn't have the phone's ringer set loud enough to be heard.  Once I set the ringer to a loud enough volume, I tested it and it worked properly.  Now, Pat should be able to hear the phone ring - until she screws up the volume again....

A nothing much to say day....

Today was a day where I did a lot of nothing, except to relax....

There was only one thing on my docket today, and that was to being RQS back to the station.  Yes, I picked up a couple of books from the library, but I could have done that tomorrow.  As it stands, I'll still have to make another run out tomorrow, as I have to order some foreign currency from the bank.

With the above being said, I planned to go out as Marian after getting a couple of things done.  But then, I had some GI Tract issues, and rested for the remainder of the day.  Of course, I got nothing done.  But I will take care of things such as laundry tomorrow before I go out.

Soon, I'll have to start packing for my upcoming cruise.  Since this will be a long distance trip, I will need to be sure that I have enough clothing to put in the laundry onboard the ship.  (I'd hate to spend $9.00/load for a small load.)  Once my large suitcase is packed, I'll bring it to RQS's place, so that I can be ready the night before our trip.  Luckily, I have two weeks to get this task done.

Before then, I intend to spend as much time as possible in Marian mode, as I'll be stuck as Mario for two weeks straight....
 

By the time you read this, the first trial will be over.

 

By the time you read this, the first of the 4 Trump trials will be over and done with.  Will he be acquitted?  I hope not, as he is a danger to the Trans community.  Will there be a hung jury?  Possibly, but I hope not.  I'd hate to see this same case go to trial again.  Will he be convicted?  I hope so.  But I'm afraid that Trump will be out on bail while the verdict is appealed.  And if he loses on his appeals, will he spend any time in prison?

There are a lot of Trump trolls out there, who defend him with all the zealotry of typical cult members.  They can and will not see objective reality, as they have bought into his myth that "I alone, can fix things."  If this were true, why didn't the job get done done during his one term in office?  Trump is a con artist, a grifter who has bamboozled millions of people.  And the rest of the GOP are afraid of what his supporters will do.

You'll notice that the three great Abrahamic faiths all believe in the same god, even though he is worshiped differently in each of them.  All say to love thy neighbor and to treat strangers as you'd treat family.  And yet, all have been corrupted to have factions who will fight and kill to see that their version of god wins out.  To me, faith is the ability to test one's beliefs and act according to those tenets in spite of our natural instincts.  Cultism demands of individuals an unquestioned acceptance of dogma, and a willingness to fight to have that dogma rule everyone's behavior.  Doesn't MAGA sound like a cult to you?

As I wrote this entry, I watched Robert DeNiro hold a rally near where the Trump trial was being held. He rightfully noted that authoritarians gain their power by the use of fear - free people know not to worry about that fear and see the danger inherent in that fear.  Is it any wonder that the most used tactic of MAGA is to shout people down who don't agree with them?  They are like lambs being led to the slaughterhouse.  But it's hard to feel pity for them, as they willingly joined a cult, and are no longer receptive to arguments based on reality.  They are a danger to people like me, and all we can do is to see that their cult leader does some serious prison time, so that the cult leader comes out "tenderized" by the experience.

Sadly, if he is convicted, he will still get protection from the US Secret Service - even in a prison cell.  If it were up to me, he'd get a multi-cultural education from the Red, Blue, Letters and Numbers fraternal organizations,  (For those not familiar with the slang, Reds - Bloods, Blues - Crips, Numbers - MS-13, and Letters - Singaloa.)  The one thing I'd hate to see is him being protected by the Aryan Brotherhood, as I'd like to see him be the forced recipient of some masculine "love" from one of the aforementioned groups.

At least, the case will go to the jury tomorrow, and we'll likely to have had a verdict by the end of May......

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

 

I can still remember the beautiful voice of Karen Carpenter singing a song with a line in the chorus going "Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."  And on Memorial Day, it was both a rainy day and a Monday.  But I wasn't as depressed as I could be, as I had company - RQS decided not to go home in the bad weather, and stayed over an extra night.

- - - - - -

What could be an old adage?  "We must be married.  We do nothing together."  In our case, we are so relaxed around each other, that we don't feel the need to rush out to find things to do.  Could this be a byproduct of getting old?  Maybe.  But I think it's more that we don't need to entertain each other all the time.

As I look through online store websites, I occasionally find myself saying: "Would this look good on me?"  Just like a woman, don't you think?  Well, when we occasionally shop together, I've found that we have both asked this question of each other when shopping in-person and online.  Recently, I asked her to critique two garments I bought from Universal Standard, and she approved of them.  She's confident enough in herself to be comfortable with me as Marian, and I feel confident enough in her that I can be in between gender presentations in front of her, such as when I take off my wig at home (or some garments) and have that awkward, "Half Dressed" look about me.

- - - - - -

On Memorial Day, RQS and I rested most of the day, and went out just as it started to pour.  The heavy rains didn't last long, but our drive did - much of it while chatting with TCL about nothing worth remembering.  After a quick snack, we decided to drive a little more before going home for a while, then out for dinner.

To be safe, I tend to avoid places in Marian mode that usually see me as Mario, and avoid places in Mario mode that usually see me as Marian.  So, we went to a pizzeria that I usually go to as Marian and enjoyed a large pie (of which I ate too much).  After this, we had nothing to do, so we went home and were in for the night....

The lobster truck came, and we went....

 

RQS and I are fans of the Cousins Maine Lobster truck when it visits a nearby locale.  We always try to get a lobster roll when it's nearby - and today it was.

- - - - - -

Both of us got moving late today, and both of us put on our summer dresses.  RQS wore one she bought at Target (shown above) while I wore something I bought from Ellos a couple of years ago.  (Too bad they no longer sell this style, as RQS wanted one that's the same as what I wore.)  Given how comfortable the dress was, I decided to order one for myself to wear this summer while they still had it in stock.  But I digress....

The lobster truck was parked at the Broken Bow Brewery, and we got there in less than 45 minutes. When we arrived, RQS went to the truck to place the order while I picked up a couple of light brews for us to wash down the lobster.  There was a minor mishap (which I won't go into here) which caused RQS some concern.  But all was good by the time we sat down to eat our lobster - save for the seating.  By the time I got our beers, all the tables were occupied and we found ourselves eating while sitting in some uncomfortable chairs.

Hopefully, the truck will be again nearby when RQS is here next, as I could get used to eating lobster rolls on a regular basis....

Stormy Weather and its aftermath

 

When I was awakened the other morning, it sounded like golf ball sized hail was hitting my roof.  Yet, it also sounder like something was trying to pull the roof off of our building.  It was a sound that I've never heard before, and one I hope not to hear again.

- - - - - -

The other day, the weather report said that there was an area of severe weather heading from Texas and about to hit New York sometime in the overnight hours.  Well, the weather came, but just as the sun would normally come up.  As illustrated in the photo above, the winds were strong enough to blow a tree down and into our fence.  After the storm, we had to contract for emergency work to keep this now dead tree from damaging our building, but we will need to perform repair work on the fence as well.  (Thankfully, we completed work n the retaining wall last year.  I'd hate to see what could have happened if the wall wasn't in good shape.)

I eventually went outside to pick RQS up at the station, there was a big puddle of water near our dumpsters.  There was never this much water there before.  Looking closer, it seemed like Mother Nature had blown all of the leaves off the trees and deposited them in our driveway/parking lot.  When I reached my car, I had to take a few minutes to scoop leaves off my car before it could be driven.  As I drove to the station, I found a traffic light lying in the middle of a busy intersection.  The winds must have been very strong, since I've never seen this happen in my area.

Given that this is a holiday weekend and that there was a home day game at the Stadium, RQS's train was packed.  People were standing in the aisle.  And, befitting the day, the train was late.  Too bad that I couldn't have shown RQS the downed traffic light.  But I was very thankful that my building was structurally intact, and relatively unscathed, although I can't say this for the building next door, as it had water damage due to the storm.  Yes, the dumpster puddle still remained, as the fallen leaves were blocking the drain.  But that can be cleared with minor effort.  I just wonder what surprises will come next....

Slowly attacking the mess in my apartment

 

When I got up this morning, I knew I had to do something to start cleaning up the mess in my place.  It's been a long time since I've been able to have the cleaning lady come over, and for every 4 steps forward, I'm taking 3 steps back.  So, I figured that I'd dedicate an hour or two today for this task before RQS arrives.

Instead of attacking messes on the table, I decided to attack the mess in my dresser drawers.  I figured that I might be able to clear out a drawer or two in the process, and make space for some of the new clothes that I bought at Flax.  So, after an hour, I found that I had one large contractor bag to go to the dumpster, as well as a shredder that I thought was working when it wasn't.

One idea that is working well for me is that if I haven't used something in a long while and that I am not likely to use it,  be sure to throw it out.  To facilitate that, I started taking an old post office box used to drop off a large quantity of held mail, and turning it into a garbage pail with the use of a large garbage bag.  If I can't justify keeping the item, I turn to the side and unceremoniously drop it in the bag for disposal.  It's a lot easier to toss items when the process takes up less mental processing space.

I can't say that I'm anywhere near seeing a light at the end of a tunnel.  But I can say that I found space for the clothes I bought from Flax, as well as the two dresses I bought from Universal standard.

- - - - - -

 

Thinking of dresses and things....

Last night, I decided to wear the above dress out.  As much as I hated the countless number of buttons I had to button up, I liked how I felt in the dress.  RQS said I should keep the dress, and I will do so.

She also said I should keep the above jumpsuit, and I will wear it once I have a lightweight buttoned top I could wear with it, so that my shoulders could be covered most of the time. 
 

The other day, I saw that this dress was on sale.  Given that I like the cut of this dress more than a similar one sold by Universal Standard, I bought two of them and should receive them tomorrow.  Too bad that I don't have any journeys scheduled where I will be out and about for a week or two as Marian.  But when I do, this dress will be with me if I'm in a warm weather climate.

Now, to prune more items that I don't love from my wardrobe....

Another lunch with RO

 

Around 30 years ago, my late wife and I found the above book at Barnes and Noble.  Living reasonably close to the city as we did, we'd make regular pilgrimages to Manhattan's Chinatown and the one that was developing in Flushing to get a good Dim Sum meal.  If there was a good Chinese Restaurant, we'd move heaven and earth to get there.

 

At the time this book was published, we had several definitions for the quality of Chinese restaurants:

• Local - The food was edible, but we wouldn't go out of town for it.
• Acceptable - The food was decent, and worth going one or two towns over to dine in the place.
• Good - The place was an hour or more away, and well worth the effort to eat there. (I miss The Little Bear near Woodstock, NY.)
  
• Very Good - The place was outside the region, and a must visit when in the area. (Empress of China - San Francisco, CA)
  
• Excellent - The place is on the other side of the globe, and a bucket list must visit.

Needless to say, we never had the chance to get to the last category of restaurants.  My wife had a friend where she worked who could tell us great places to eat when in China.  But she died before I had accumulated enough money to take this kind of bucket list trip.

 

 

I'm still willing to go to the ends of the earth for a good meal.  And today, I had the chance to revisit Qin Dynasty in Parsippany, NJ.  Qin Dynasty is an unassuming place sited in front of the Red Roof Inn on Route 46.  There is nothing special to recommend this place, other than it was a convenient midpoint for RO and I to get together.

 

RO and I have eaten at this place several times before, and we always have several plates of Dim Sum.  Today, we tried one of the dinner dishes along with our usual order of Dim Sum.  And it was up to the quality of the joints I often visit in Manhattan.  I can also say the same for their Dim Sum - it's good, and worth eating when in the area.  But I wouldn't schedule a special drive to get to this place, as RQS and I know better places for Dim Sum closer to home.

 

Yet, you might ask: Why do I recommend this place?

 

The answer is simple.  There are few enough decent places which have a wide variety of Dim Sum on their menus, and this is one of them.  One can find the standard offerings such as Shu Mai, Pork Buns, and soup dumplings.  But this place also has things such as duck filled dumplings and peanut filled dumplings. And I usually try to order something new at every meal.

 

Luckily, I can go to Aberdeen in White Plains, NY and have a good variety of tasty dishes there.  But if I'm near Parsippany, I'll try to visit Qin Dynasty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filling a tooth and emptying a wallet.

 

$520 later, and I have a good tooth.  (I hear my wallet sobbing loudly, "Why did you do this to me?")

- - - - - -

When I last visited the dentist, he found a cavity in a tooth which had once been filled by a prior dentist. I knew that this was going to be a "big" (not too big) bill, as I was expecting to pay somewhere between $400 & $800 for the privilege of having my tooth repaired.  So, I scheduled today's appointment on the first available day I could get the repair done before my next cruise.

Unfortunately, I didn't sleep well last night, and was tired when I finally got showered and dressed.  Since the dentist sees me more in Marian mode than as Mario, I took the extra time to get ready to present myself as Marian.  So, I found a nice summery dress, and made the short drive to my dentist's office.

Arriving promptly at 1:00 pm, it took a while before I was led to the room where my procedure was to be done.  By the time he got down to business around 1:30 pm, I was on my 3rd dose of local anesthesia when he started to drill.  Even then, I needed another shot to keep me from feeling any pain.  At 2:30 pm, my tooth was filled, and my wallet emptied.

At least, my mouth was finally back to normal by 5:00 pm....

You've heard of "Gaydar." Now, there is "Transdar." - a quick post

 

Recently, I headed off to the local Walmart to pick up a corded mouse for a computer I had lying around.  After buying the mouse (and a few other things), I was on my way out of the store and one of the check-out ladies said hello....

After a few minutes of chatting with this woman and one of her associates, she said that I always looked good when I came into the store, then asked a question: "How long have you been in transition?"  In one sense, it floored me that someone would ask this question.  And in another, it confirmed something I already knew - my size often gives my "transness" away.  So, we chatted a few minutes, and found out that she was trans, and possibly young enough to be my granddaughter.  She had to leave school because her stepdad wouldn't accept her, and that she's paying her bills on a Walmart salary.  (Compared to her, I have it very easy.)

This was a reminder to me to be thankful for what I have - it could always be much worse.

- - - - - -

I can't imagine outing myself at the age of 17.  It must have been very hard for this trans woman to even find a place to live and a job to pay for it.  We're very lucky that most people don't pay attention to us, and let us live our lives in peace.  However, I was glad that I noted that this is not always the case, as I do not want to take the risk of visiting places like Florida and Texas while they have anti-transgender laws in place.....