The apartment is a total mess, and I can't find the energy to do anything.

 

OK, this is only a slight exaggeration - I don't find my energy until the afternoon is half over, and it doesn't make sense to do many things.  Yet, I feel that my lethargy is getting in the way of life as I once knew it.

- - - - - - 

One of the problems I have is a reluctance to deal with people when advocating for myself.  It's my simple reluctance to have potentially stressful interactions with people coming to play.  By nature, I am not a dominant person.  Instead, I am a person who likes to head off in one direction with as little interference as possible.  And I have been lucky enough to have the resources to do just that in my adult life.

My lethargy gets in the way of me doing simple tasks such as doing laundry on a regular basis.  So, it piles up until I have no other alternative but to do several loads at once.  This can be a pain in the ass at times, but I've noticed it getting in the way of being social with others.  Yesterday, I had a meetup that I went to, but could have just as easily bailed out on it - I was tired enough to have stayed in bed a bit longer.

- - - - - -

With all that being said, I still find it energizing to go out in the world as Marian.  Being my true self provides me with the energy I need to go out and live life.  I wonder how many older transgender folks feel the same way as I do?

Sometimes, the answer is simple.

 

A little over a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned an email I wrote to DCD.  The email was critical of his inability to be honest with people, or to manage the responsibilities which a normal adult would manage. And I think I know why this bothers me so much - I used to be a bit like DCD, and grew out of that stage of life. Sometimes, a person just has to grow up and act like an adult.  It took me much longer than it should have for me to be an adult myself, and I hurt the feelings of a lot of people along my way to adulthood (while legally being an adult.)  

- - - - - -

There is still a part of me where childishness exists, an ability to tap into my inner child and experience the world with a sense of wonder. Yet, the adult part of me is cynical and world-weary.  The other day, I had a conversation with my brother talking about how hard his adult life has been.  (He raised 2 children of his own, as well as dealing with his wife's son from her first marriage.)  Both the wife and stepson developed substance addictions, and my brother has had to deal with her issues for the better part of 3 decades.  Then he mentioned my issues, saying that I didn't have that easy a life.  In short, we both understood that life hasn't been easy for either of us and that we appreciate where we are in life.

When I was last with my brother, he handed me a letter that my dad meant for me to read after he died.  It was a good thing to read, as I felt it said something that my dad couldn't say while he was alive.  The letter read:

Dear Mario

Please don't mourn for me too much.

I know it will be tough for you, my not being there for you..

Always look back at the good times we had during our vacations.

Mom and I both loved you very much; we know this was no picnic for you.  But you were strong enough to manage it.

Always stay in touch with your brother and the family, as they will sustain you when things get rough.

Remember to keep your head about you before you speak and act.

This is not a lecture for you, but advice.

I love you very much, even though I did not tell you often enough.

Working to keep the wolf away from the door took up a lot of both mother's and my time.  We may not have given you the attention you may have wanted or needed.

However, we did care, and loved you more than you will ever know.

Keep fond memories of both mom and I in your heart and don't let things get you down.

Love Dad.

Well, I felt much better after reading this letter. No, it didn't change things.  Yet, it did say the things my dad couldn't say to me while he was alive.  My dad was the type of man who I was glad to have as a father.  He did the best he could, given that he had a limited education and had to always hustle to keep the same roof over our heads until adulthood.  And I think he was proud of the adults my brother and I became towards the end of his life.

- - - - - -

So, back to DCD....

He's turning 60 soon, and he doesn't have a pot to piss in.  He has no wife, no girlfriend, no career, and will eventually be unable to run home to his mom.  (She's nearing 90 years old, and I can't see her outliving DCD.)  He'll have to become an adult, even if that means admitting that he's unable to take care of himself and has to ask for help.

His answer is simple: He has to "Man Up" and be an adult while he can. Otherwise, I see him spiraling towards oblivion, dying alone with no one caring if he lives or dies.  Hopefully, he will make the right choice soon.

"Who is John Galt?" (A question that has as much meaning today as it did decades ago.)

 

Normally, I would not be citing Ayn Rand as one of the people who influenced me. She had little compassion for others, and she felt that it was the duty of the prime movers of society to withhold their contributions to that society when second stringers try to take what isn't theirs.  Answering the question "Who is John Galt?" is central to the theme of Atlas Shrugged, as it is John Galt who starts his own revolution against the bandits of society.

As much as I do not believe in Rand's values, I feel that she raised some important questions, questions whose answers were just as important now as when the book was written.  The most important of these questions is what happens when a prime mover is caught in a kleptocracy who wants to steal creations to feather their nests instead of benefiting society.  

It's been a month since the Orange Snowflake has been in office, and we're seeing him attempting to dismantle the social infrastructure which has allowed the common person a sense of security in society.  Medicaid was designed so that the poorest of Americans would have some access to healthcare, and yet its budget is at risk, so that the richest of Americans can get tax breaks.  

Ayn Rand would probably not approve of what America has evolved into, but I think she would be appalled at a government led by a felonious grifter, a man only interested in gaining wealth and power without caring how his actions affect others.  To Rand, there was a nobility in a capitalist who produces something of value, such as Henry Ford and his automobiles, Thomas Edison and his electrical devices, as well as too many others to count.  She would be a palled at the minimally qualified (at best) to be in the Snowflake's cabinet, as well as the party hacks who would ignore his criminality to remain in positions of power.

In a way, Rand's work is as relevant as ever, but not in the way she intended.  When a society has developed a safety net meant to protect its citizens in times of need, would she advocate for its dismantling to enrich society's "bandit class"?  I doubt it. She would likely be advocating for it to be made as efficient as possible, so that as little money as possible is taken from the productive class of that society.  She may not have believed in such a safety net.  But she likely would be just as (if not more) appalled that a bandit class is trying to take that wealth for itself.

I don't recall Rand saying much against the poorest members of society.  There would always be marginalized classes in society (racial discrimination, ethnic discrimination, gender discrimination, etc.) and she believed that market forces would eventually correct these evils.  However, she could not see that there were some problems which could not be resolved in the marketplace, nor could she see any situations where markets could fail. She neglects problems that could only be solved with non market based solutions.  A good example of this would be eliminating Jim Crow in America's south.  The powers that were depended on a subservient black labor force to maintain a corrupt society.  Only by external pressure and non market solutions could this problem be addressed.  And the Orange Snowflake appears to be willing to reinstate that way of life to pay off his friends in the bandit class.

Having read Atlas Shrugged, I feel that Rand was advocating a rebellion against the bandit class by withholding support of their regimes.  Only do business with honorable businessmen, and let the society corrupted by the bandits collapse on its own. Years ago, the movie "Network" made famous the phrase: "I'm made as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"  Maybe, just maybe, someone has to be the first to strike out against he bandit class.  Hopefully, Luigi Mangione was the first person who says for all of us, that we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore.

One month down, Forty Seven more to go.

 

As I write this, we have seen serious damage done to our democratic institutions.  We now have a government which no longer wants to check and balance the power of the chief executive.  

- - - - - -

We have already seen incompetent yes-men confirmed to the Orange Snowflake's cabinet.  We have already seen threats against our most important trading partners that resulted in making us a pariah among nations.  (Did we really need to threaten a trade war to stroke the Orange Grifter's ego?) We are seeing a government in the act of destroying itself from within.  In the guise of "America First", we are destroying the "soft power" we had to influence nations.  In the guise of making government more efficient, we now have incompetent cronies running their areas of the government, making the government less efficient.

Let's look at the Department of Education.  It's targeted for elimination by this regime.  What will happen to its functions?  Will the handicapped be able to get the assistance needed to get an appropriate education?  (I doubt it.)  Will the poor students still get the breakfasts and lunches needed, so that they can function in school?  (I doubt it.)  Will we have anyone responsible for holding the states accountable to see that students' rights are respected?  (Absolutely not!)

The best example of the nonsensical appointments being made by the Orange Snowflake is RFK Jr.  Here's a man who rallied against vaccinations, a tool which helped eliminate diseases such as polio in the United States.  He claims that he will respect science, but his track record proves he will not.  Having met the man once, all I can say about him is that he is a Kennedy male.  (Read into that what you will.)  But I think that the worm he says ate part of his brain affected his common sense.

- - - - - -

As Margo Channing said: "Fasten your seat belts, this is going to be a bumpy ride."

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Follow-up Thoughts (02/03/25)

 

This was a day that I completed some tasks, but left more of them undone.  There's the old adage that one needs a vacation following a vacation to recharge from the first vacation.  And that seems true for the two of us.  RQS rushed to make final payment for our New England/Eastern Canada cruise - I guess she wants to make sure that the cruise is paid for while she has the money to pay for the cruise.  (And I can't blame her for doing so.)  I'll pay my share of the remaining monies owed later on this week.  And then we can look into a Bermuda cruise to be taken earlier in the spring.

- - - - - -

I never thought that I'd warm up to MSC cruises after my December 2023 cruise to Florida and the Bahamas.  However both the cruise line and I have changed a bit since then.  The ship has improved its food and entertainment offerings since my last cruise, and I have developed realistic expectations for an inexpensive cruise on this ship. Given the price of cruising these days, MSC has become much more attractive than it used to be for me. I know how to get value from their cruises, and I know not to use them for "bucket list" cruises.

There are times where I miss cruising with my former cruise partner.  Yet, we got into a big rut over time.  Although I made a big mistake which ended our friendship, I still look upon the times we had together as good times.  Yet, these were times that couldn't last forever.  Cruising with her took time away from what I should have been spending with my then girlfriend.  This time around, I make sure that RQS comes with me, with a rare exception or two.

If more cruise lines offered true solo cabins at a reasonable price, I'd have considered cruising more often.  However, I often find that on the lines that do offer solo cabins, the prices for these cabins often exceed that of a double occupancy cabin.  So, it is nice to again have a partner to sail with - especially one who is also my romantic interest.

- - - - - -

There are many places to go and so little time and money available to make those trips possible.  Hopefully, I will soon have the resources to do another bucket list trip.  I'll inform my readers if that does happen....

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Debarkation Day (02/02/25)

 

Our ship was situated outside New York harbor until roughly 5 am, when the ship started to make port in Brooklyn and end our cruise. The above picture was taken from the ship's port side camera's TV feed.  It's far from the same view when taken from a balcony cabin.

- - - - - -

Neither RQS nor I got enough sleep overnight, and I was awake from 3 am onwards.  Around 7 am, we went to the main dining room for one last time for breakfast.  A lady at the table next to us was on the same cruise I was on for my first MSC cruise, and had similar opinions as I did regarding that cruise. Luckily for us, this cruise was much better all around - the food was better and the entertainment was better.  Yet, service was still hit or miss. Our conversation turned to the day's politics, and people at the table next to her joined in - none of us liked what the Orange Snowflake was doing in DC.

Once breakfast was over, we killed time waiting for our disembarkation group to be called.  Our number was called shortly before 9:30 am, and we proceeded to pick up our luggage and kill time inside the terminal, avoiding having to spend excess time in the cold waiting for a ferry that would take us to Atlantic avenue where we'd summon an Uber.  I noticed that staff was allowing handicapped people to take a shortcut and bypass the snaking line leading to the Customs/Immigration stations on our way out of the building.  So I told RQS to take out her cane, and we saved 15 minutes which we'd spend waiting for the ferry. The ferry came at 10:35, and we were at Atlantic avenue by 11 am, and the Uber got us back to RQS's place by 11:30 am.  However, I would still have to wait before I could go home - my brother couldn't pick me up until 4 pm.  So, I rested a while, and my brother arrived when expected.  

We were at the family homestead 30 minutes later, and we discussed what was needed to bring the house up to snuff for rental.  In addition to absolutely needed repairs, we may end up adding a half bath in the basement to increase the rent we can charge. Then, finally, I loaded my bags into my car and drove home.  With a stop for dinner and some food shopping factored in, it didn't take me long to get home.  Finally, I can sleep in my own bed again!

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Sea Day (02/01/25)

 

This would be the last day for us on the ship.   This would be the last day that we could leave our towels on the floor and have them replaced with clean ones by the room steward.  This would be the day where we would have to pack our suitcases and leave them by the door, so that we could pick them up at the pier. And this would be the day that I'd start itemizing what the cruise line did right and did wrong, preparing to write an email to the cruise line's customer service department.

But what would I write about?

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the questionable service in the main dining room for breakfast, brunch, and lunch.  Unlike dinner service (where you sit at the same table, at the same time, and are served by the same staff), breakfast, brunch and lunch service has people sitting at random tables, at random times during the meal's dining schedule, and has multiple servers providing uncoordinated service.  One could place a meal order with one person, have a bar order taken by a second person, and food delivered by a third.  It seems like no one is talking to each other during morning and afternoon meals, leaving many cruisers unhappy.  To make things worse, our lunch server reached over the table next to us to hand us our dessert plates.  If I were running a restaurant, this would be unacceptable service.

Like the closet in my studio cabin on my first cruise with this line, the closet in our cabin has hinged doors.  This is not a problem when a cabin has enough space for doors to open, like our current interior cabin.  But this is a big problem for the line's studio cabins, as the opened sofa-bed blocks the doors, and limits access to the closet. Unlike other cruise lines, the space in this cabin is not designed to store much.  In my interior cabin on last year's California Trip, I had at least twice as much space to store things than I have on this cruise - in a similarly sized cabin.  I will likely suggest that they retrofit the closets in their studio cabins to use sliding doors, as this would be a great benefit to future cruisers.

Yet, there are good things I can say as well.  The comedians on both of my most recent cruises were good, and made us want to see them more than once. We were both Food served in the main dining room was plentiful, albeit under-spiced to many Americans' tastes.  (It's easier to add salt to a dish than to take it away.)  Dinner service in the main dining room was very good, and everyone there was very attentive to our needs. We didn't need to dine at any of the specialty restaurants, and we were glad we made the choice not to do so.

Readers may notice the scooter in the hallway at the top of this entry.  Our steward said that MSC doesn't have a policy against scooters being left in the hall.  This can be a big problem in case of an emergency.   There is not enough room for a wheelchair to roll through the hall when a scooter takes up more than half the hall's width.  I'll be sure to note this as a major risk factor in my email, even though I didn't want to complain while onboard the ship - why make things harder for people who need these scooters and ruin their cruises?

- - - - - -

Back to our day....

After breakfast, we had to pack.  So we both loaded up our suitcases and readied them for the transport from the ship to the pier.  Then came our last lunch and dinner in the main dining rooms.  We said farewell to our waiter, then it was back to the cabin to finish packing.  We were mildly disturbed by the steward when he came for the beach towels.  Yet, this was the perfect opportunity for us to hand him a tip in person.

Both of us felt as if our belongings had grown while we were on the ship.  As I write this, I'm hoping that I packed my large suitcase to its capacity and left enough room in my backpack and carry-on to handle the rest of my stuff.

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Sea Day (01/31/25)

 

We finally got moving time to go to the main dining room for breakfast.  This is often a miracle, given how RQS likes to sleep late (and I have little reason to interrupt this).  However, we will need to get up very early for us when Sunday comes, as we will need to be out of the cabin before 7:30 am.

But first....

Sea days on a cruise can be very relaxing.  However, on this ship, there are absolutely no places where one can relax in a place designed to be quiet at all times outside of one's cabin.  The design of this ship almost forces one to spend money, as there is no library or card room in which to escape the racket in the common areas.  For example, we got out of a show around 10:15 pm, and the ship was holding a loud dance party in the atrium/galleria - a place in which we'd need to walk through on our way back to our cabin.   

Today, we got up early enough to get breakfast in the main dining room.  Unfortunately, so did so many other people.  To make it worse, the 8 am crowd didn't make it on line until 9 am, as many forgot to set their clocks backward the night before.  So, we ended up being part of an overflow crowd which was treated to far from spectacular service for breakfast.  RQS complained (not at me, but venting with me) that they didn't pay much attention to her multiple requests for water until I raised the issue.  In short, it was another one of those "Ignore the woman, Pay attention to the man" moments that most women find bothersome.  At least, we were able to avoid the buffet for another day.

- - - - - -

Dinner tonight would be another chance to get dressed up for dinner.  I will make sure that RQS and I get to a couple of photo stations before entering the dining room.  This way, we would be able to get at least one nice picture of the two of us to frame. And this we did, getting several sets of pictures from different photographers.  To make things better, we met our friends from the first 2 nights; dinners, and exchanged phone numbers.  So we'll be able to meet up with them the next time we're near DC.

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Sea Day (01/30/25)

Another sea day, and we woke up late enough to barely miss breakfast in the main dining room.  As usual, the buffet was crowded, and had little to interest us.  

But first...

As this cruise winds down, I find myself looking forward to being home again.  No, it's not that this is a bad cruise.  Instead, it's because I'm looking forward to my old routine, and to seeing friends in Marian mode. With this being said, I'll miss lunches and dinners where the utensils are changed with every service.  I'll miss someone making up my bed and replacing my towels after I leave the cabin for a while.  I'll miss being able to visit new places, and not having to do much of anything to get there.

Today's lunch was Italian themed.  It was not a big difference from the usual lunches on sea days, save that the menu was presented differently than would be on a normal sea day.  After 8 days of being on the ship, I'm starting to get tired of all this rich food coming my way.  One thing I can say about this cruise is that if you are going hungry. it's all your fault.

After lunch, it was back to the cabin where I caught up a little on my reading. All too soon, it was time for dinner.  Once we were seated, we chatted with the Maitre D', and found out that our friends from the first 2 nights on the ship have been eating in the buffet, as they have more vegan offerings that the gentleman could eat.  However, he'd likely be coming to dinner tomorrow, as it's another Gala Night.

Finally, after a chance to rest, it was time to see the comedian for a late night show.  It's the one time I want to be out of the cabin after 10 pm.

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Port Day (01/29/25 - St. Maarten)

 

Today's post will be a short one.  Not much of note happened.  But I have resolved to find ways of taking more cruises as Marian, based on little things of note - such as only needing to show a cruise card in San Juan and St. Maarten.  Over time, I will likely find more ports that I can visit as Marian without headaches from the local governments.

But first....

We finally made it to breakfast in the main dining room.  And this time, we had better service than we had at brunch several days ago.  This was an auspicious start to our day in St. Maarten.  

Around 2 pm, we decided to take a walk off the ship.  Although the temperature was in the 80's, if felt over 10 degrees warmer due to the humidity and the lack of shade.  We found nothing of interest in the few gift shops we visited, and decided to go back to the ship in less than an hour.

Once back on the ship, we got some gelato to cool off, then sat down to rest and eat our gelato.  I got into a chat with another cruiser, a lady who was very happy with MSC as a cruise line.  We then got into "apartment life", talking about NYC rent stabilization and co-op apartments.  It was a pleasant chat, but not one worth hanging out for more than 30 minutes. 

About an hour later, we were again seated in the main dining room.  The meal was enjoyable, but the Shrimp fra Diavolo lacked a certain punch.  It was pleasant, but had no heat to talk about.  At least, the cheesecake was pleasant and predictable.

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Port Day (01/28/25 - Charlotte Amalie, USVI)

 

Unlike the other days so far on this ship, we finally made it to the buffet for breakfast.  It wasn't what either of us would have wanted, but it was something to ease any hunger pains we had.

- - - - - -

Breakfast at the buffet is always a hunt for something interesting to eat, something which doesn't seem to industrial for one's taste.  Today, I found some scrambled eggs (yecch), bacon, and some chocolate cheese blintzes which weren't that objectionable.  So, around 1 pm, we finally made it to land to walk around a bit, and get some lunch.

RQS bought some costume jewelry, while I sat outside in the shade. And then, we decided to get a bite to eat off the ship, at a restaurant called the Smoking Rooster.  We ordered a sampler plate, a dish which had more than enough meat for the two of us.  Once done, it was back to the ship - it was way too warm to walk around, then be fresh enough for dinner at 5:30 pm.

Sadly, our friends are no longer going to dinner, so we took their seats in the restaurant.  (We believe they might be going to the buffet, where one of them can more easily find vegan grub.)  It seems like the service is getting much more attentive in the dining room the longer we are there.  I guess they really want us to give them a good review after we leave the ship.

After dinner, it was time to go to the buffet to pick up some fresh fruit for the morning.  I asked a uniformed staff member where we could get some uncut apples, and an assistant brought us 3.  What more could you ask of these people?  I'll be sure to give them a good write up as well.  And, finally, it was back to our cabin for the night.  We'll sleep well....

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Port Day (01/27/25 - San Juan, PR)

 

This was another day that we chose to wake up late.  Unlike yesterday, the main dining room was not open for lunch.  So, we went to the Mexican restaurant onboard to get our first meal of the day.  And, as expected, it was yummy.  RQS noted that the tacos were as good as the local taco joint in her neighborhood - they were that good.  As for me, I knew the tacos were good, but was underwhelmed by the burritos - too much cilantro for my taste.  At least, the flan was as good as expected.

By now, the crowds were off the ship, so we left the ship a little after 2 pm.  On our way off the ship, one lady had a problem getting her scooter over the lip separating the carpeted from the non-carpeted area of the 4th floor.  So I did the helpful thing, and got her front wheel over the lip, and the driving wheels would do the rest.  Next, there was another person in a scooter in front of us.  People weren't making way for him, so I bellowed out "Make Way!  A scooter is coming down the ramp."  (It didn't help that they closed down one of the gangways to re-provision the ship.  We'd have been off the ship in half the time.)  Once the scooter was lifted onto the downward ramp, getting off the ship was easy.

Now on dry land, the heat and humidity started to get to us.  We walked a little through the older part of San Juan, and then headed back to the ship for dinner.  Sadly, our new friends may have chosen a later dining time, so that dinner wouldn't feel rushed.  For us, today was our quickest dinner, as we were out of the dining room in less than 90 minutes.

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Port Day (01/26/25 - Puerto Plata, DR)

 

The ship made port at 12:00 noon, and we made it to lunch at the same time.  We were in no hurry to do much of anything, and there would be no need to hurry until the end of the cruise.  So, there was only one drawback for me in waking up early - there was no uncut fresh fruit in the room for me to nosh on to sate my hunger.

- - - - - -

We went to the main dining room for lunch, and this time, service wasn't bad.  Yes, there was a minor mistake.  But it was nothing to complain about.  (Later on, we'd find that 90 people started their contracts with this sailing.  No wonder why service in the dining rooms was iffy at times.)  After lunch, it was again time to relax.  So we went upstairs to the buffet, where we could read in someplace other than our cabin.

Around 5:30, it was time to go to dinner, and our new friends weren't there.  I guess either of 3 things happened:

1. They were still dealing with the aftermath of the water pipe bursting at home, and were still making calls from the ship to see that their home gets fixed.
   
   
2. They flew home from the DR, so that they could deal with their issues in person.
   
   
3. They were tired of dining with us (RQS deems this doubtful), and found another table (and time) to dine at.
   

It felt strange to have a table for 6 to ourselves.  But we enjoyed the meal anyway.

- - - - - -

After another trip back to our room, we went to the theater to see a performer (LsShonda Reese) sing a set of songs by James Brown, Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie and others.  She was a good singer, but I wouldn't have spent money to see her perform - at least, not in a cruise ship environment.

As usual, we now are finding that our next door cabin resident regularly leaves her scooter in the hallway.  Do I like this?  No.  But there's nothing I want to do about this.  It's a pain to house the scooter in the room.  Yet, I feel that she should have booked an "Accessible Cabin" to deal with this issue beforehand. This is something I will bring up when I write a letter to the cruise line's customer service department.  I don't want to get anyone in trouble (especially not our room steward), but I think the cruise line needs a policy for this, as not all cabin entryways have room to park 1 scooter, much less 2 scooters.

Tomorrow, we will be in Puerto Rico, and we may finally get off the ship.

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Sea Day (01/25/25)

 

One thing I noticed about MSC is that they tend to be low cost for most things - including medical supplies.  Today, RQS had to see about getting a walking cane to help get around.  (She left hers at home before the cruise.)  So she went to the medical center, and they rented one for $60 - which will be refunded on return to the center at the end of the cruise.  This is much better than NCL's $35 rental fee which she would have incurred had she rented one when injured on our first Bermuda cruise. (She ended up buying one in Bermuda for $30 when in port.)

With the above being said, I've noticed big differences in service in each of my 3 cruises on this line.  So far, both RQS and I have noticed a decline in service quality between our 2 cruises together.  On our first cruise, wait staff tended to be very attentive, making sure we had bottled water at our table and wines of our choice, refilled as desired.  On this cruise, we found out that this was our waiter's first sailing - and the mistakes he made were that of a good natured rookie. However, I won't excuses made at brunch, where the entire staff was inattentive.  Normally, a wait staff member would come by with either juices or pastries before orders were taken.  This did not happen until we were finished with our main courses.  RQS wanted to order a Cappuccino, while I wanted my 2 Diet Cokes, and the waiter didn't want to take that part of the order, passing it to someone else from the bar staff.  When our drinks were delivered, I had to ask the waiter to return my cruise card.  To make things worse, our desserts were delivered before we had much of a chance to start our main courses.  (It could have been worse - a lady at an adjoining table never got her second omelette.)  On top of that, RQS's utensils were taken away, and I had to shout to gain the attention of the wait staff to get these utensils replaced.  

Luckily, dinner service gradually improves with time.  As wait staff gets to know you, they will anticipate some of your needs.  For example, the waiter assumed we'd be having wine with dinner and knew to ask us what we'd be drinking with our meals.  Wait staff was concerned about our table mates not showing up for dinner, but we informed them that the issue had nothing to do with the food or service, it had to do with things going on at home.

Last night, we had reservations for a 9:30 performance at the ship's theater.  In the past, crew members checked to see if people had reservations for certain performances, and put unreserved people on a wait list to be admitted.  We arrived at the theater, and there were no capacity controls - anyone could get in, resulting in overcrowding.  Given that last night's show had performers using the aisles in their performance, this could have resulted in a very dangerous situation.  I'm glad that RQS and I decided to leave, as we'd have never enjoyed the show under these conditions.

In many ways, you get what you pay for, and on MSC, you are paying for a crew that may be learning new skills while on the job.  I'm hesitant on making complaints aimed at individuals, as we were told that MSC tends to either end contracts early or declines renewals if even a single complaint is made, not giving individuals time to learn their craft fully.  But I plan to make complaints regarding specific departments on the ship, making sure to also mention the things that the cruise line is doing right.

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Our new friends from our dinner table met us in the atrium today, on their way to lunch.  The gentleman mentioned that he was in contact with his son all morning, as there was a water line break which flooded his dining room.  This will be a cruise to remember, all for the wrong reasons.

All sorts of things can happen while one is away from home.  I can still remember something that happened to my former cruise partner towards the end of one cruise, something that affected her property.  On another trip, there was a death in her family.  Seasoned travelers have trusted people looking after their affairs while they are away.  And yet, things will go wrong at times.  I once left a car unlocked in an airport's long term parking lot, and was lucky that no one broke into the car.  So I say, expect the best, but prepare for the worst....

 

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Sea Day (01/24/25)

 

There is not much to say about sea days on a cruise ship.  There are entertainment activities to keep one busy, as well as a healthy supply of food onboard to occupy one's time.  So far, I have not been over indulging, and I have felt sated with human sized portions of food.  This doesn't mean that I usually eat too much on a cruise.  Instead, I usually walk more when I'm on a cruise, and maintain my weight. 

Today, I didn't have much to write about.  So I wrote an entry which will get posted to this blog in roughly four weeks.  However, I'll recount the day here to give you an idea of what a sea day on a ship can be like.

- - - - - -

RQS and I took our time getting out of bed, and barely made it to lunch in one of the main dining rooms. Coincidentally, we ended up sitting at the table where I was assigned on the first cruise on this line. After a nice meal of fish and chips, we left to have dessert in the buffet because we didn't have attentive service from our waiter.

We went back to our cabin and rested a while before getting dressed for gala night dinner.  Unfortunately, we were a little bit late and didn't have the chance to get our formal pictures taken.  So we met our table mates and had another nice conversation over dinner.  Again, service was slow and error prone - RQS didn't get her glass of wine as she ordered.  While at dinner, RQS spilled some dessert on her dress - there went the chance to get a nice picture of us taken.

After a bio break, it was time to go to the theater.  Well, we had made reservations, but this didn't mean much - they no longer bothered to make sure that people had reservations to enter the theater.  This meant that the theater was overcrowded by the time we got there.  In case of emergency, it would have been impossible to exit quickly.  So we left as the show was about to start, and made it back to the buffet for a quick snack before returning to our cabin.

Was it a nice day fr us?  Yes.  But nothing much to write about.

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Embarkation Day (01/23/25)

 

Our day started by waking up "early", so that we'd make it to the cruise terminal by 12:30 pm.  This meant that we'd have to cook and eat breakfast, get showered and dressed, and into an Uber by 11:30 am to make it on time.  What didn't help is that we had some minor last minute packing to take care of, and RQS forgot her cane.  (Hopefully, she can buy one while on the cruise, or while we're in port.)

The Uber came on time, and we had a very nice driver, someone who was willing to take a side street to bypass traffic on the BQE.  We arrived at the terminal at 12:45 pm, and were snaking through the terminal for another half hour after that.  Once on the ship, we dumped our bags off in the room, then made it to the buffet to have lunch and kill some time before the muster drill.

As is the case with MSC, one does not watch a muster drill in person.  Instead, one watches a video to know what to do in case of an emergency, dials a number to register having seen the video, then report to the emergency station to show one knows where it is in case of an emergency.

- - - - - -

All too soon, it was time for dinner.  We were seated at a shared table with two nice people.  Yes, I might have run my mouth a little.  But they seemed to have enjoyed our company, and we hope to be seeing them for dinner until the cruise ends.  While dining, we found that the gentlemen across from me was a vegan, and had some trouble getting something he could eat.

After dinner, we made our entertainment reservations for the cruise, and then went up to the cabin for the evening.  We were greeted by our two large suitcases being placed by the door, and started to unpack for the trip.  In short, it was a busy day, but one which prepared us to enjoy our 10-day cruise. 

By the time you read this, I'll be back from my cruise.

 

I've been alluding to this cruise for a while.  However, for purposes of safety, I didn't want to start talking about it until I returned.

- - - - - -

When we booked this cruise, I was thinking of how RQS and I could spend some time together in a warm climate, while I presented as Marian for a few days.  Over time, we settled on the above 10 day cruise.  But the idea of me spending time as Marian went by the wayside, as I couldn't get information from the DR regarding whether I'd have problems with a gender presentation which conflicts with my legal ID.  In addition, we had a snowstorm the weekend before we left, followed by sub freezing temperatures until the day we were to board the ship.

After the holiday season, the thing I wanted to do most was to hunker down inside for a few months and come out of hibernation when spring comes.  Instead, I ended up having to plan for a trip I wasn't completely excited about taking.  About the only thing that interested me about this trip was the possibility of visiting historic sites in San Juan, something which was impossible when I made port there on an NCL cruise which arrived after 4 pm.

As I've mentioned in this and my other blog, I am not a fan of cruise lines "hot docking" their ships, so that multiple ships can be in port on the same day.  I feel that this is a disservice to cruisers, as one is often unable to have a chance to properly enjoy a port. In fact, I chose an Alaska cruise with one of my criteria being whether the ship spent a full day in each of the Alaskan ports where the ship docked.  Our January cruise does not "hot dock" at any of its ports, but it will spend 6 days at sea (including Embarkation day) on a 10-day cruise.  We made a trade-off to have full port days and extra days at sea to have our 10-day getaway.

Given that we are sailing on MSC in a sub-optimal inside cabin below the entrance to the buffet, I expect that we'll have to deal with noise coming from the deck above. Neither RQS nor I are impressed by the quality of MSC's entertainment.  Yet, it is good enough for us to have considered sailing the line again.  The same goes for the food.  Unlike what we got used to on Princess and NCL, MSC's specialty dinner package offerings do not give the same bang per buck. On this trip, we opted NOT to buy specialty meal packages in advance and to enjoy the food served in the main dining room, with the possible exception of going to the on-board taco joint..

MSC is a line known for low priced cruising.  It also has some of the most reasonably priced shore excursions compared with similar excursions offered by NCL  Both RQS and I feel that NCL's excursions have been excessively marked up by the cruise line.  Contrast this with MSC, where we get good excursions at a very reasonable price.  On our past Bermuda cruises, NCL was charging $140 for a tour that visited the Crystal Caves, while MSC charged $80 for a similar experience.  (I may be comparing apples to pears here, as NCL offered an extra stop on its tour.)  Yes, MSC does a quite bit of nickel-diming, but in general one will get decent value for money spent.

While I'm cruising, I'll be writing posts about the cruise that you'll be seeing here over the next few days. Hopefully, you will enjoy our exploits.  One thing I am certain to do will be to ask the people at the pier whether "My Sister" (as I refer to myself when presenting as Mario) will have trouble at the port if she presents as Marian, but presents Mario's ID.  (It worked in Bermuda, why not elsewhere?)

The other day I had a conversation....

 

The other day, I had a chat with Vicki.  She noted that she didn't know when I was going over the top or whether I was being serious.  To tell the truth, I tend to do thought experiments where I take off the limits imposed by social taboos.  And people do not know what to make of me because of this.

An example of my way of thinking is allowing the public, not the politicians, to decide between two extremes of dealing with our border problems, ending political paralysis on this issue:

1. Should we increase the budgets of both border control and asylum judiciary areas, so that we can both police the border humanely and process asylum claims quickly.
   
   ---- OR ----
   
   
2.  Issue "2-legged hunting permits", and let gun happy nuts shoot bullets at illegals trying to cross the border, firing from the American side at targets on the Mexican side.
   

In short, should we force the public to make a simple choice between humane treatment of people and inhumane treatment of people.

The conversation veered into many areas, and I posed some topics that most people would consider taboo, such as:

1. Given how poorly educated the American public is, require people to have completed a high school education to gain the right to vote.  (There are many problems with this, but remember - this is a only a thought experiment.)
   
   
2. Denying people who are too poor to raise children the ability to procreate until they can show enough earning capacity to properly take care of a child.
   
   
3. Allowing prisoners the ability to vote in general elections.
   
   
4. Public executions of illegal aliens who have committed felonies.
   
   
5. Guardrails for both the 1st Amendment and 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution.
   

There were more items on this list, but the difference between me and Vicki is a recognition that Democracy might not be the best solution for a country in certain circumstances.  I recognize that even freedom of speech may not be an absolute right.  For example, the nation of El Salvador has committed many human rights abuses in order to wrest control of the country from the gangs that previously terrorized the country.  Its popular leader is a dictator who has successfully put most of the nation's gang members into prison or forced them into exile.  My question is: How much freedom is too much freedom?  (Please note that I believe in Jeffersonian Democracy, but with the guardrails developed by Alexander Hamilton.)  Vicki can't get over the idea that certain freedoms should be checked, if only to prevent an autocrat from taking power - as Trump did on January 20th.

So I have a question:  If a well informed and well educated public is needed for a functioning democracy, how much freedom has to be taken away from people to force them to be well educated?  Sadly, I keep getting reminded of Juvenal's 6th satire:

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

--- OR ---

 

Who's watching the watchmen?

If I had a better answer to this question than to trust that an educated public would do the job, I'd have solved one of the major political problems that keep perplexing us thousands of years after the question was first posed....

Lunch and Dinner, or: Where are the police when you need them?

 

I had two things on the docket for today.  But the thing of most interest today was an accident that almost happened.

- - - - -

I woke up around 9 am, not having much sleep last night.  So I took my time getting ready to go out to see Vicki for a late lunch.  But first, I had to shovel out the snow around my car.  That involved getting dressed as Mario, clearing the show off the car, and shoveling a clear path to the plowed section of the driveway.  Luckily, the snow wasn't too heavy, and I was able to get this done in 20 minutes.

After a brief stop for breakfast, I went home to shower and get dressed as Marian.  And then, it was off to Mt. Kisco to meet Vicki for lunch.  Arriving at the restaurant, I found that the meters weren't working today, as it was a Federal holiday.  Even though I was glad to see Vicki, I really wasn't in the mood to talk politics, as there's nothing we could do to avoid the upcoming 4 year disaster.

Once done with lunch, I drove over to Route 684, and was about to make a "California Stop" at the light for a right turn on red, so that I could get on the highway.  There was a police car to my left and an idiot that sped up along the shoulder and almost hit me as I was starting to make a right turn onto the highway.  (If I had started movement to the entrance ramp even 1 second earlier, my car would have been totaled.)  As I made my turn, the police car turned across traffic, sped past me, then pulled the idiot over before he got on the highway.  Boy, was I relieved!  The idiot was about to get what he rightly deserved - a very expensive ticket!

Next, I killed time at Starbucks before going to the meetup for dinner. Unfortunately, most of the people who reserved a place at dinner bailed without notice, and only 3 of us were there for dinner.  By the time I finished my cheeseburger, I was stuffed.  I couldn't eat another bite. 

On the way home, my brother and I chatted about the house we rent out.  Now that the tenants are gone, there are some improvements we may make.  Will it cost money?  Yes.  But we should recoup our money relatively quickly.  And then he got to talking about what should happen when my sister in law passes (hopefully, she will go first).  It makes sense for him to sell his homestead at that time due to the $500k tax exclusion he'd have that year, then take some of his capital gains to buy me out.  He'd live in the family homestead for a few years, and then repeat the process to get more tax free money out of his home equity.  

It was a good day.  But it certainly didn't go as I expected. 

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Sadly, the Orange Snowflake has been inaugurated, and he has already made some anti-transgender statements.  Hopefully, my readers who have needed to get their gender marker on their personal IDs updated, have already done so before today.  I think it will be at least 4 years before people will be able to do this for Federally issued documents again.

It's amazing - Life keeps throwing curveballs, and I keep fouling them off.

 

Sometimes, I feel like I'm a woman on the home front during the war years.  Yes, I have my female friends to comfort me, but the men that remained stateside all have problems not worth dealing with.  Today, I decided to write a message to DCD, telling him how I felt about him, as well as his relationships with others.  This message reads as follows:

DCD -  

Your ex contacted me first to find out where you were one day, as she couldn't reach you for a Friday shift. She then got into telling me how you were chronically late for shifts, and that you got fired from the job at the YMCA. She noted that she's moved on with her life, and wants you gone from her place. Yet, the other day, she came home and found you curled up on her bed. I have no objective way to know exactly what is going on with you and her, but it is unhealthy for you to live at her place or to even use her house as your mailing address. 

While on the subject of mailing addresses, she noted that you have had several P.O. boxes, that you have stopped paying, and that a lot of mail never reaches you. I know that you have changed your phone numbers several times, possibly because bill collectors are trying to reach you. In one case, they tried to send a service notice at her place, but you were not there. My advice to both of you is to cut the umbilical cord that holds you two together and start living your own independent lives.

Your ex made me aware of the fact that she told you not to call for assistance when your car ran out of gas, but to walk to the gas station and get a gallon or two to fill up the car. You didn't, and the car was taken from you. Can you bail the car out? Without income, I doubt it. I guess I will be on your long list of creditors, as you are already 6 months behind in payments. And without transportation, you will likely never be able to pay me back - like others who have tried to help you.

You need to ask for help. There are public shelters in Connecticut and New York. You are likely sick - the inoperable brain tumor for which you had radiation may be affecting your judgement. Get that help now, before you start spiraling down the path of helplessness and destitution. You have a habit of ignoring people's advice and going against their suggestions to prove you have good judgement - which you don't have. A while back, I asked you why you didn't try to get your child support lessened when you didn't have a pot to piss in. You didn't have a good answer. Right now, it is more important for you to only make commitments that you are certain to keep and not make those you only hope to keep if you are lucky. You should never have bought my car unless you were absolutely sure you could pay me back. Given your history, it'll be a miracle if you ever pay me back for the car. As they say - no good deed goes unpunished.
These comments are not meant to harm you. Instead, they are a last hope of getting you on a path where you seek help and get it, to rebuild yourself for the years you have left above ground. You can continue along this path of self-destruction. Or you can get help in rebuilding your life. The choice is yours. and only yours. You have burnt too many bridges among family and friends to get help from these sources. You may need to ask one last person (not me) to refer you to adult protective services for the help you need. But if you get that help, don't waste anyone's time. Start rebuilding your life., and take responsibility for your life and the decisions you make in it.

Marian

Well, I know he's a bit defensive, as I received the following:

I appreciate your support. As with my ex and her meaning, well, I get upset at the suppositions that are made. I may have burnt some bridges but I do not believe that my ex's or your knowledge base of my life gives you enough information to state that I have burnt so many bridges that I can not get get help from those resources. 

My wanting or not wanting to involve family and friends is a matter of my privacy and how I want to be seen by others. It disturbs me to have to explain this to you and as I have had to in past to my ex.

Defensive?  Yes.  And also a little upset, as I have called him to account for his own failings.  He's gone through a lot of shit in his life.  Yet, he has to learn to "Get Over It". Or simply, to climb his mountain of problems and conquer them.  One can either be a victim or survivor in life, it's all a matter of attitude.  DCD has to find that special power inside himself, harness it, and conquer all of his demons.  This isn't easy when you're approaching 60, and haven't a pot to piss in.

Did I handle things wrong?  I'm not sure.  Reading his response made me think that he's afraid to be honest with people.  He didn't challenge my core assumptions: that he is not able to handle responsibility that well, and that he needs help.

- - - - - -

Now, why did I say that I keep fouling off curve balls?

Well, the answer is simple.  The other day, my main credit card was compromised, and I'm finding it easier than expected (so far) to attach these accounts to a new credit card account. Today, I had to run out to several stores before a major snow storm arrives.  Couple all of this with having to think about DCD just before going away on a cruise, and it seems like I'm hanging on "at bat" as best I can.