It's hard to believe that I haven't done any serious shopping in a while.

Recently, the above dress was displayed as part of an ad from Karina Dresses on my Facebook feed.  Given that this company is based in the USA and makes its garments in the USA, I had to take a closer look at their web site.  

Karina calls its products as the "Original Easy Dress".  Given that they have a decent selection of dresses each with multiple patterns on sale, it's worth my effort to get to know this brand a little more.  And, given that their one store is located about 90 minutes from me, it's just as much of an effort for me to visit their store as it would be to visit Universal Standard's store before it closed due to the pandemic.

Yet, with all the shopping options out there, nothing seems to say "Buy Me!"  I'm at the stage of wardrobe building where I want to carefully fill in wardrobe gaps, and not buy things for the excitement of receiving something new off the UPS truck.  I'm also at the stage in life where I should seriously get my act together and lose some weight before my health starts to deteriorate.  So, assuming that I start losing weight, I will need to refresh my wardrobe while I shrink - it doesn't make sense to buy things I don't need and won't be able to use for the long term.

I hope that once I start losing weight, that I can use the above image as a model for how I want to look.  Yes, I will need to have some plastic surgery, as my former cruise partner needed after her weight loss. But I will look so much better after having done all of this.
 

 

Ennui - It's part of what I've been dealing with for the past 2 years.

En·nui
noun: ennui

a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.

"he succumbed to ennui and despair"

- - - - - -

I'm not sure of whether I was experiencing ennui before I broke up with my last serious girlfriend. But I certainly felt it after we broke up.  As BB King titled one of his songs, "The Thrill is Gone."  Or, it has been for a while for me.  It was important for me to find something to excite me, and I was lucky not to fall into the rabbit hole of abuse of mind altering substances.  I had to identify and confront my feelings during the past two years.

The act of going to work in Marian mode was a thrill at first. But now, it's simply a matter of personal comfort and preference.  The problem is that I want romance, and for that, I have to live in both modes. It doesn't bother me to go out as Mario.  It's simply that I prefer going out as Marian.  But this is not the cause of my ennui.

When I was young, a lot of things excited me.  Now, I take many things in stride, knowing that any excitement I get is only momentary.  My last cruise invigorated me, but it was a great let down when I had to come home and go to work the next day.  Now that I have a bucket list cruise on my docket, I an looking forward to the change of pace it will deliver.  I will be in a much better mood when I travel, as I will be a little bit out of my comfort zone - and being energized because of that.

Each time I go to work, I end up being depressed for the first part of the day.  The repetitive nature of my work puts me to sleep, and I want to be doing something different if I have to wake up so early.  Yet, by the time afternoon comes, I am more energized, and I can sail through the rest of the day without many problems.  Is the job worth the money I get for doing it?  I'm not sure.  Sooner or later, I will quit this job, and I know I will feel relief.  Yet, it may put me into the funk I felt in 2000 when the Covid shutdown took place.

- - - - - -

2002 leaves me looking forward to change.  I just hope that I feel more energized soon....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll have what they're having - but should I?

It's been a long time since I've been to Katz's deli.  Almost everything they serve there is scrumptious. Too bad that the place is so far away for me.  It's been ages since I've had a really good pastrami sandwich, and I could go for one again.

- - - - - -

The older I get, the more I find that the less people know what they are talking about.  Recently, I met with a financial planner - and she gave me advice appropriate for a person with 10x my assets.  (I'm not knocking her.  But she overlooked one key thing, and that bothered me.)  Other people make the mistake of using anecdotal evidence instead of empirical evidence to form their opinions.  This wouldn't be so bad, save that most people want to reinforce their views of the world and not challenge them.  Of course, we have the conspiracy theorists who have a desperate need to "know" things that others don't know, so that they can share their "prophesies" to people who will listen.

Before you think that I'm ranting about people as a whole, I include myself in the group who feels they know more than they do.  For example, I didn't know how many people are caught crossing the border from Mexico this past year, nor did I know what is happening to them after apprehension by "La Migra".  We are all influenced by the media we watch (or do not watch), and I have been mostly influenced by media that leans towards the left.  Others are influenced by right leaning media, believing that their opinion issuers are telling the truth. Given what we now about January 6, 2001 and the Trump inspired insurrection, people like Hannity were trying to reach Trump to call off his rioters, while saying that it was a "peaceful protest" on their shows.  It's hard to know what resembles truth anymore without knowing the biases of the people delivering both news and opinions.

- - - - - -

Why am I concerned about all of this?

Recently, a school district has banned Maus, the graphic novel about the holocaust by Art Spiegelman. Although I have not read the book, I strongly support the need for youngsters to read it, so that they have an idea of how to understand what went on in the 1930's.  In itself, I'm concerned about the "right's" attempt to sanitize history for its ends.  But I'm even more shocked when someone posted a picture of Nazi book burning, noting that these books came from the Institute for Sexology. Seems like Fascists of any era like to deny people from the LGBTIQ communities their rights to even exist - something that should worry us all.

The Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute of Sexology) was way ahead of its time.  Sadly, the challenges it faced are the same issues we face today - people who need simplistic explanation for what's wrong in their lives will sacrifice the lives of others for a false certainty of "truth".  Like the Jews and their millennia of  being dispersed, Transgender people have a lot to worry about when persecution takes place.  It is up to us to prepare for a future where we are at great risk.  And in this case, I will not have what they're having - I will have an objective truth....

 

The Snow Cometh - and Goeth

 

The above image was taken after a snowfall that took place several years ago.  The snowfall we're expecting tomorrow (as I write this) could be minimal or be a blizzard.  Either way, I'm placing my bets on us getting between 4" and 9" of the white stuff by nightfall tomorrow. If I were to fully transition, you'd see me out shoveling snow in an outfit similar to what I'll be wearing as a male: warm, layered clothing with a hat and gloves.  And this brings up an important point.  Transition is not a cure all.  It only helps to deal with the many issues we suffer in regard to our gender.

I am not looking forward to cleaning the snow from around my car (and off my car) when the snow stops. My car is usually parked in a spot where I am required to move it when the plows come.  This usually means that I must get out of my comfy jammies and then work up a sweat shoveling snow. This is a task that I relish less and less each coming year. And as I get older, this task will take an ever increasing toll on me.

However, the snow relieved me of a social obligation that I allowed myself to get into.  I don't mind seeing FH now and then, but I'm not always in the mood to see her when she wants.  I remember her comparing herself with MWL, trying to look as she (FH) would be the better recipient of my time. Neither of these women would be good mates for me.  But they both would be good activity partners now and then.

Right now, I'm focusing on CWS and RQS.  Both women are good ladies, but they each have things that could turn out to be deal breakers. And if it weren't for the snow, I'd be able to see at least one of them over the weekend.  Instead, I'll have to try to keep in contact with them by phone.  I just wonder how each will react when I eventually tell them about my bi-gendered nature....

 - - - - - -

The next morning/afternoon....

When I finally woke up (I couldn't get to sleep until 4 am or so), I looked out my window and the snow didn't look so bad.  Although I have to get dressed to clear off the car, it looks like I will not need to do much work to get my spot cleared out.

The weekend comes awfully quickly....

 

As I write this, they are predicting either 1"-3" of snow to 9"12" of snow.  No, I shouldn't have written this forecast as 1"-12" of snow, as they do not know which way the storm will track.  If it tracks away from the coast, we'll get 1"-3" of the white stuff on the ground.  If it tracks toward the coastline, we'll get the 9"-12" that will cause a lot of problems on Eastern Long Island.

In some ways, this storm will be a blessing to me.  Although I will not be able to see CWS or RQS, I will not be able to see FH as well, freeing me up to get back to work on cleaning up my apartment.  It will also give me the opportunity to sleep later than usual, and finally make a decision on whether I should stay at my present job, or move on with my life.

- - - - - -

A while back, I mentioned my friend WDS.  Well, he's recovering from an ailment he had last year, and is slowly regaining facilities that he had before his ailment struck him.  Today, I wrote him, and he was up to me visiting him - but I would need to stay elsewhere.  Neither of the two extra rooms in the house he rents is furnished.  And that's OK with me, as I'd have my feminine wardrobe with me so I could see YGM.

WDS asked me about what has been going on in my life, and the impression I get from him is that leaving my job would be no great risk for me.  He may be right.  So I plan to write to an out of state headhunter over the weekend, and see if they have remote work available.  If so, I could go back into my old line of work, and never need to leave the house to get a job done.  Wish me luck....

It's almost time for me to go - a quick post

 

This is a quick post....

I think it'll soon be time for me to leave my job.  The only question will be if it is on my steam or theirs.  The long and short of it is that my allergy is disruptive.  In a normal age, no one would care.  But in the age of Covid, any sneeze is suspect.

Assuming I leave, it'll be nice to be able to sleep late again.

Persistance in memory

 

Many of us have phone numbers in our heads that we will never forget. A number like 212-PE6-5000 will never be forgotten, as this was the oldest continually used business number in New York City.  In my case, other numbers often come to mind, such as the phone number of the church I attended as a child. Recently, a number from the past started coming up, and I couldn't be sure of why I knew the number.  So I did a reverse lookup on the number, and I found that it was the phone number used by the company my wife used to work for - over a quarter of a century ago.  Even though the firm has moved out of its original area code region, they have kept this number so that long standing customers could easily reach them in their "new" digs.

This got me to thinking: What causes us to retrieve fragments of memories from "archival storage" and bring them into "working storage", and yet not be usable for much?  In my case, I think it was an unplanned visit to a restaurant with my late wife's name that triggered recall of her former corporation's phone number.  This number was the one I'd call during lunch hours, as it was the only one that would be answered by a human in this period. So, combined with a "successful" first date with a new lady, my subconscious mind may have been trying to signal its comfort with the new lady.  Only a good shrink can say for sure....

There are so many things we file away in our memories, never (or very rarely) to be used again. For example, the phone number of the church I once attended brings back memories of their property before a medical office building was constructed on their former parking lot.  My wife's corporate number brings back memories of her and that of the buildings that made up the factory where she worked.  (She was part of office administration, but had to deal with all the headaches of NOT being part of the family that ran the business.)  Yet, not all phone numbers are easily retrievable for me.  For example, I can't remember any of the office numbers I used at work.  Yet, I can easily recall the number of my tax preparer, a number which I would only use once or twice each year.

So what makes some memories retrievable and what prevents them from being retrievable.  In my case, I think it is the importance the people connected to that number mean to me.  I can not remember the land line number of my late wife's old apartment, as she moved into my place shortly after we met. Yet, I can remember her office number, as I was calling that number once or twice each day while she was at work.  In the case of the church's phone number, I could use it to reach my mom while she worked at the church.

Sadly, I think that 212-PE6-5000 will never be as useful as it was in its heyday.  As for the other numbers, all they do is bring back old memories.

Catching up on little things

 

This is a wonderful work of stained glass from the Tiffany studio.  It's a damned shame that there is little demand for art like this today.  Other than viewing the Temple of Dendur, this one work made my day at the museum. It was been a long time since I've been to the Met, and even longer since I was there as Mario.  

- - - - - -

But I'm not in the mood to rehash yesterday's trip into NYC.  Instead, I'm looking to catch up on little things that I may have missed over the past few posts.

1. As much as I think CWS's complications may get in the way of us having a serious relationship, she surprised me today with one her responses - that she should have time to get together on weekends soon. (I won't go into details here, but it was a pleasant surprise.)

2. Today, I finally sent the card to FCP's son and daughter in law, saying Congratulations for a happy event that recently happened in their family.  In a week, FCP should receive an e-card to say "Congratulations!" as well.  There is one more happy event to come, and after that, I'll be done with that chapter of life.  At least, her son doesn't hold the grudge she holds.

3. Occasionally, I've joked with the ex-girlfriend in regard to her meetups.  After all the fighting we once did in regard to meetups in the Hudson Valley, I've had a little fun making jokes when I find out she has attended meetups in Westchester (and points South). One of my better jokes say, that at her rate, she'll be attending Florida based meetups soon.  (No, I'm not going to say more about this.)

4. I'm still dealing with NCL in regard to properly crediting my Latitudes points for my recent cruise. One day, I may write a full post in regard to their web site, and with their customer service areas, as their site is not the most friendly web site around.

5. Tax filing data still keeps coming to me.  Today, it was the information for my shares in the co-op. Tomorrow, who knows?  But everything should be available by month end.  Like last year (and the year before), I'll be emailing paperwork to my accountant.  Like a good doctor, a good tax pro is hard to find, and one switches from old to new very reluctantly.  And I hope not to switch for a while yet....

- - - - - -

As I said - these are all little things.  There are big things to come....

 

 

PS:  The NCL issue was resolved, but not the way I wanted it.  The offer was not valid for "Sailaway" cabins.   At least, I finally found the right department to which I should send an inquiry.

I went to temple today, and I'm not even Jewish

 

I made a joke with several of my friends that it's been a couple of years since I've been to temple, so I decided to go today.  What I included in the message was a picture of the Temple of Dendur at the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art (The Met).

- - - - - -

Earlier this week, I made arrangements to meet RQS at the Met for an afternoon of wandering around the museum.  This was going to be a fun day, as she hadn't been to the Met in years, and I hadn't visited since before the pandemic.  And one could easily spot some of the changes made at the Met if one had visited it before, such as the elimination of a public dining area.  More importantly, if an exhibit required that people enter a small space, that space was closed off to prevent people from contaminating each other within a small space.  

After 3 hours at the museum, we were both getting tired of walking around the museum, so off we went to the Nom Wah Tea Parlor.  This was my first time back there in 2 years, and the place felt a little bit more airy - as if a table or two had been removed.  So we sat down and enjoyed a nice Dim Sum dinner, exposing RQS to new tastes in Chinese food.  And all too soon, it was time to leave.

This was a nice day out, but I'm a little leery about telling her about my bi-gendered nature.  Yet, it's something I'll have to do soon.  

Keep your fingers crossed.

Lots to do, but doing little - another short entry.

 

Although the above picture has nothing to do with this entry, I like how the curtain looked in the theater in which it hangs, and wanted a chance to post this picture of the curtain....

- - - - - -

It may be the cold weather outside, it may be the work I do during the week, and it may be a need to recharge by doing nothing.  But by the time Saturday comes around, I feel drained and need to rest. So I'm glad that I didn't rush to hang out with FH for the day.

By the time I got out of bed, it was about 11 am.  And I had a choice to make.  Did I want to go out as Marian?  Or, did I want to switch over to Mario mode for the rest of the weekend?  Since I stalled by watching YouTube.videos on the Disney corporation, its theme parks, and Jim Henson productions, it took me a while to get showered, get dressed, go to the supermarket, and finally do some laundry. 

One thing that I know helps a lot is COFFEE.  Normally, when I get up in the morning, I try to drink at least 2 cups of coffee before starting work.  Today, I didn't start having any energy until I had my first cup - around 4 pm.  If it weren't for that, I never would have accomplished anything today AND I'd be in a rush to get home on Sunday, to be ready for work on Monday....

As I noted on top, I didn't have much to say today.   See you tomorrow.

I just have no energy anymore

 

I have so many things to take care of these days, but I have no energy to do them.  I wonder if it is my not getting enough sleep, or something else.

- - - - - -

Throughout the day, I was doing whatever I could to stay awake.  I was finding that my body wasn't liking the routine of sitting at my workstation for hours at a time.  So, 4:30 didn't come quick enough for me (and the rest of the people at the office). But I was still tired after I got home, and ended up napping a little after cooking a couple of hamburgers for dinner.

While this was going on, I was supposed to call CWS to chat and figure out when the next time was that we could get together.  That didn't happen.  Additionally, FH was pestering about getting together.  She hadn't seen me in a while, and I think she was trying to get a ride for some shopping she wanted to do.  (After making noises a couple of weeks ago about the Omicron variant making NYC too dangerous to visit, she wanted to walk around a mall on Long Island.)  I mentioned Omicron, and suggested just dinner somewhere, or meeting next week.  And she countered with a grocery shopping expedition at Trader Joe's.  She was a little upset that I didn't jump at seeing her, but I needed a day to myself to recharge - and that was my plan for the first day of a weekend.

Dealing with women was not the only thing I had to do.  I still need to call NCL in regard to missing Latitude Point credits.  I still want to contact a woman from OK Cupid who is not a match for me, but who could be a great friend.  (We've chatted before, but cultural issues would make romance impossible.)  Then, I still have tickets to a Darlene Love concert to buy.  None of the many things I wanted to accomplish after work got done.  And I have to deal with Laundry tomorrow.  AARGH!

- - - - - -

Although I can easily switch between Mario and Marian modes these days, I often wish I could stay in Marian mode longer than I do.  But then, I'd never be able to date.  I'm willing to make this compromise in order to have a chance at romance. And, I'm just as willing to split my time in each mode, so that I can have romance.  

The big question is: How much energy do I have left in life?

I chatted with a financial advisor, and it wasn't a good fit.

 

People who read my former blog may remember my favorite "Bedspread."  This display of cash is what my former girlfriend won on one of her casino visits.  But why do I show this picture again?  Well, I chatted with a financial advisor, and we weren't on the same track.

- - - - - -

I'm not knocking what this advisor proposed.  My ideas of what I want to do with my money after my demise are not yet firmed up.  Do I want to leave the bulk of my assets to a charitable trust (and associated charity) yet to be set up?  Or, do I want to leave the bulk of my assets to my niece and nephew?

This is not the place to discuss details of my financial situation.  But I will say that I have enough money to retire comfortably - if I'm careful with my money.  In addition to my 401(k) which has to be tapped by the time I'm 72, I am already drawing on a pension, and I hope to inherit some money in the future.  (I don't count on that inheritance, and would be just as happy if what was left to my brother and I were only good memories of my benefactor.)  

But I digress....

I have a idea of setting up a scholarship fund which couldn't be touched for 50-70 years.  In that time, money should double 5-7 times.  If the latter, my original bequest to the fund should be worth 128 times what it is today.  (Let's ignore inflation for a moment.)  The problem - who would want to manage a trust for 50-70 years without tapping into its funds?  How do I provide for the transfer of control, so that trustees have guidance to select who would replace them over the "compounding years" over this trust? With the amount of money this scholarship trust could generate, I could help lift a small island nation out of poverty by providing the skill sets they might need to bring high skill jobs to that nation.

I want to provide for my brother's kids.  My niece is starting to do well.  But my nephew has not yet gotten into the most productive years of his career.  How much money do I want to leave to the "kids?" This is another question that needs to be answered.

Until I've figured this stuff out, I may just have to stand pat and do almost nothing for a while....

Global Entry / Pre Check

 

A while back, I posted an entry which commented on a couple of options I was considering for a Hawaii cruise, and then mentioning my choice of Global Entry for TSA Trusted Traveler status.  Well, I dropped the hammer on a deal, and I should be saying "Aloha" to Hawaii sometime within the next 12-14 months.  Additionally, I have started the process of getting my Trusted Traveler number, so that I can get past airport security with as few hassles as possibles.  And therein lies a problem for many that I wish our government would resolve.

TSA Pre Check provides 99.9% of the benefits I would want when going to the airport.  Given that most of my airport experiences will be domestic in nature, I could save $15 by using this option.  Since this program is "designed" to pay for itself, there are many more places one can perform the in-person interview than available for Global entry.  Because of its supposed self funding, Pre Check interviews didn't stop during government shutdowns.   However, Global Entry is a U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) program that is not meant to be self funding, its interviews were halted during government shutdowns. Yet, this is not the big problem I have.  They do not have enough available interview slots to handle the demand for this variant of Trusted Traveler certification.

In the above image, I have captured a list of Global Entry interview sites that have at least one slot open between January 15, 2022 through June 30, 2022.  Doesn't seem like much....  If the government had been smart, it would have treated Global Entry in the same way as it does Pre Check.  If anything, it would have been wise to combine the two programs, and do what is necessary to process as many people as possible, collect as much money as possible, and benefit both domestic and international travelers as much as possible.  Instead, I had to wait until June for an appointment at Newark airport.

If I change the filter to select sites that have at least 2 slots open, the list shrinks even further.  No wonder why people are upset at government. 

At least, I now have an appointment.  And I expect that I'll be taking a day off for this interview.  It could be much worse - it could be jury duty in Downtown Manhattan during the summer....

 

 

 

PS: They opened up a month's worth of extra appointment slots in NYC. (See above.)  So now, I have an earlier appointment (in May) at a place easier for me to get to (Bowling Green).

PPS: A spot opened up for 9:00 am this morning at JFK.  If it weren't for the snow, I might have gone for it.

My refrigerator overfloweth

 

One of the problems in living alone is that it's hard to get enough variety AND small enough quantities of food at a reasonable price.  Either one has to over stuff a refrigerator, or pay too much for the small quantities one needs.  For example, I only need a tiny bit of celery to make a decent tuna salad for sandwiches.  Yet, I always end up wasting food by buying too much to feed only one person.  

What makes things worse is that it's so hard to plan my meals.  I'm lucky that I can buy my lunches at the local supermarket and heat them up in a microwave oven.  But this is not the healthiest thing to do, as I will always end up eating more than I should.  In certain ways, this is a problem not unique to single people.  Most of us are on the go, and don't have the time to do any serious meal planning.  Given that my mother was a horrible cook, she was not the person from whom to learn either cooking or meal planning.  This is where I wish they gave "Home Economics" to both boys and girls when I was of school age.

Over time, I may get the hang of things.  But the one thing I am grateful for is the rotisserie chicken found at many supermarkets and warehouse clubs.  A whole chicken can easily be made into 3-4 meals. And the trick is making at least one of those meals a lunch.  Chicken Salad sandwiches are always a good way to use an "old" chicken.  And I've done this more than enough times over the years.

Well...  Enough for now.   The pork tenderloin that's been in the freezer (and just thawed out) is finally ready to eat.  It's enough meat for two people, but I can always use it tomorrow night - as long as I'm not cooking anything else....

I'll never eat at this diner again.

 

This is what a typical plate of Fish & Chips looks like.  Usually, the fish is a battered fillet of cod deep fried with French fries on the side.  It could be a full fillet, or "longish" pieces of the fillet.  Either way, the taste of the fish should be mild.

- - - - - -

But first....

I hadn't been out of the house since Friday night.  And I knew I had to go out to shop for groceries, so I could have lunches for the week.  So it was into the shower, where I decided to go out as Marian - first to a diner for a bite to eat, and then to the supermarket to pick up food.  

When I arrived at the diner, I noticed that it was relatively empty.  Gone were the (pre-covid) usual group of baked goods on display.  The menu no longer had items which required the work of a full kitchen staff.  Instead, it was limited to things that even a beginning short order cook could prepare.  Too bad that I didn't choose a simple burger and fries.  From what I could tell, they had run out of cod, and substituted another fish in its place.  And it didn't fit my idea of what fish and chips was supposed to be. So, I made the decision to avoid this place for a while, and see what happens when the pandemic ends.

After dinner, I decided to go to Stew Leonard's to pick up food.  Luckily, this time I had my recycled bags with me - and I was able to get in and out of the place quickly.  There's not much to say about a visit to Stew's, save that I usually spend too much there.

- - - - - -

As you can see, this was a weekend where I accomplished nothing.  And nothing was good enough for me.  Hopefully, I'll have more energy next weekend, as there are many things I need to do....

A visit to the Deli

 

Every morning that I go to work, I have a standing order at a deli I frequent.  It's a simple Bacon & Egg sandwich with a touch of salt and pepper.  And this deli does it well.  So I've never had a complaint about the place, save that its small size cannot handle the volume of customers it receives in the morning rush. However, this post is not about the deli (which is doing everything right).  Instead, it's about one person who came to the deli one day, and how a situation was handled.

As I write this entry, Westchester county expects that people will be masked up in public places.  The deli again has a sign up (since the beginning of Omicron) reminding people that masks are required upon entry to the store. I am usually grabbing a face mask out of my handbag as I approach the front door, and am greeted by staff - all wearing face masks.  Everyone in the place (including police officers from headquarters down the block) are properly masked. So it struck me funny when one woman entered the place.

My first reaction was, "I'll bet that this woman voted for Trump."  She wasn't wearing her mask, and the people behind the counter politely asked her to wear her mask.  This woman took the mask out of her handbag, and held it to her face - a totally useless and worthless gesture, as that would not protect us from virus particles that may come out in her breath.  She continued to hold it there, placing her order, then complaining about needing to wear her mask.  Rather than cause an incident (the policeman having gone back on duty, and no longer on site to help), this woman's order was rushed so that she could be out of the store as quickly as possible.

I am bothered by people who think that they have more rights than others.  There is a selfishness in these people that appalls me.  Getting fully vaccinated and boosted protects me.  But it protects others as well.  And it has been free to me.  Why should it bother me to take 30 minutes out of my life for each of 3 vaccinations, and to wear face masks to prevent the spread of disease?  Young men used to be drafted for military service, and expected to die for their country without enjoying the benefits of living an adult life here.  Is masking up, getting vaxxed and boosted to much to ask of our citizens?  Sadly, for some people, it is too much.  So sad....

A first date

  

Tonight, I went on a first date with a woman I'll call RQS.  I met her on OK Cupid, and we've hit it off quicker than I have with CWS.  Luckily, I have done nothing that could be considered "Roaching".  I have not been physically intimate with anyone for over 2 years now.  And this has helped me determine that MWL and I could only be friends for the long term.  By taking things slowly, we got past the initial chemical attraction phase, and into the phase where two people really start getting to know each other.  And that's allowed me the time to come to a decision.  The same will likely apply to CWS and RQS.

Before the date, I had to look up train schedules for me to get to the museum.  And I had to change into Mario mode before going into the city.  (How I hated having to do this.)  By the time I made it out the door, I was running late for the train out of Croton, so I decided to drive to Pelham.  And if it weren't for my desire to have a snack before going to the museum, I'd have made that train.  Instead, the train had pulled to the platform just before I could get a ticket.  So I ended up waiting 30 minutes before the next train.  Eventually, I got to the museum, and RQS shortly after that.

In the above picture, RQS is about to hit a gong in the Rubin Museum's "Mandala Lab".  (I'm being careful NOT to show you her face, or to describe what she did before retiring.)  From this angle, she could be "any woman".  But a smart person might notice that I am going against my usual type.  She is the first woman since FL to give me a strong signal that she is attracted to me.

As the museum was closing at 10pm, we decided to get a bite to eat nearby, and we stumbled into a place that had my wife's name - this might have been an omen for the evening. Our conversation flowed like water.  Strangely enough, both of us are widowed, and we were having as upbeat a conversation about death as is humanly possible outside the Twilight Zone. (I can only imagine Rod Serling asking an introduction to us having this conversation.) All too soon, the night had to end.  RQS took an Uber home, while I made perfect connections to my train.

It's still too early to tell her about the Marian side of me.  But if things keep going well, I'll have a hard decision to make.  At least, it will be a good one - as long as I don't mislead either of these woman.

Cancer Sucks

 

Some time ago, I posted an entry about a reader of this blog who has died of cancer. This is a malady that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but would consider wishing on some politicians we all know and loathe.  Today, I had a conversation with DCD, a man who I knew through a therapy group we once attended, and he was feeling a bit down.  After 2 operations and a round of chemo (could be radiation, I don't remember for sure), I'm pretty sure that he is scared for his life.

As I've mentioned before, my late wife died of cancer, and it was 9 months from diagnosis to death.  Although this happened more than 2 decades ago, some of the memories are as fresh as if they were made last week. So I feel sorry for DCD, as I have an inkling of what he and his girlfriend are going through.  Like my situation with my late wife, DCD doesn't communicate that well with his girlfriend.  And this isn't helping things much, as DCD doesn't have many options left to him in his life.  If he survives, he'll likely be working until the day he dies.  Let's hope that isn't anytime soon.

One of these days, we'll hear doctors say: "It's only a mild case of cancer.  Don't worry.  We can cure it with this regimen...."  Unfortunately, that day has not come yet.  But the promising developments that started while my wife was alive are slowly beginning to bear fruit.  Let's hope that it comes soon enough for our children not to need to worry about this medical issue....

Not so sure of what to talk about today.

 

The above cover is one of my favorites from the Lampoon.  It's wonderfully political, politically incorrect, and funny as heck.  We had much thicker skins when this magazine was published.  One could drop the "N-Word" and use it humorously, as Mel Brooks did in Blazing Saddles.  

I miss the humor magazines of my youth.  Both Mad Magazine and the National Lampoon are long gone, or exist only to recycle old articles.  Both magazines were influential in their own ways.  Mad taught young people to think of current events in a different way than most people might think.  And the Lampoon taught young adults that good humor was rarely politically correct.  Mad would spoof Star Trek's opening ("To go where no man has gone before"), by having the male crew exit to the ladies room. The Lampoon would attack minorities with an "Unwanted Foreigners" issue, and attack these same groups with racist descriptions of these groups - all meant to generate laughs, and not to be taken seriously.

Yet, I miss something even more.  When I was young, TV could afford to provoke thought. Could you imagine "All in the Family" being a popular TV series?  Too many people would get upset at the Archie Bunker character's use of politically incorrect language.  And yet, it was considered acceptable way back when, as the show illustrated how both Archie and "Meathead" were just as prejudiced - just from different directions.

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Today, many "conservatives" want to "Own the Libs".  In the process of doing so, they often act like children, calling Liberals names I won't repeat here.  But many Liberals are just as bad in their own way.  They ignore how and why many Conservatives became radicalized, and have no interest in the concerns of people from the other side of the aisle.

As a TG member of society, I would be among those groups at risk if the Conservatives gained absolute social power.  Luckily, it will take a lot to get the NYC region to flip.  But history has shown this can and does happen when enough people are alienated from the political system AND begin to put their faith in a bombastic populist leader.

So, what are we to do?  For one thing, we should celebrate and publicize the successes of TG people like Amy Schneider (of Jeopardy fame). If we can convince enough people that we are safe to be around, we might just be left alone when political winds change.  Yet, we will only be left alone in more progressive areas.  Most of us can not go stealth if needed.  It is in our interest to fight for the interests of our tribes while we can - and we must do so now....

My day overfloweth

 

As many of my readers are well aware, I normally go through the week with a bit of sleep deprivation.  Today was one of those days where I could have used another two or three hours of sleep.  So I had to fight off the impulse to sleep much of the day.

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One of the things that is a blessing and a curse of my job is the repetitive nature of many of its tasks.  Today, I shifted between two of these tasks.  The first task involved finding index documentation not captured during image scanning and insuring that each document had a clean index before deleting the indexing page from the document.  The second involved doing manual OCR scan of information found in a document and entering it into a data base.  Neither of these tasks takes much brain work.  So one can easily lose track of time while listening to music on an MP3 player.  Yet, one can that time moves slowly when one has things on her mind.  Because the tasks are so repetitive, one can get into a groove, and start nodding off.  This happens to me often.  So I have developed some tricks to keep from falling asleep on the job.

After 8 hours of pushing keys and moving mouse, I could have very easily fallen asleep.  Unfortunately, I had a co-op board meeting to attend to.  And this took up most of the evening after I got home.  Hopefully, my visit to the land of nod will be better than last night's visit....