Wig Shopping

 

There are several keys to a good feminine presentation, and I've worked on making all of them top notch.  (Now, if only I could get my weight under control, so that I can go back to wearing Size-18W clothes.) The 3 I am most concerned with are:

1. Voice
2. Hair Style (Natural Hair or Wigs)
3. Appropriate Clothing

I have discussed all of these items in prior entries.  Today, I want to discuss wigs again.

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Wig shopping can be hit or miss.  For one's first wig, an inexpensive mail order wig will suffice until one gets serious about making an acceptable feminine presentation.  Once one is ready to graduate on to better wigs, it makes sense to go to a wig store and ask for help.  You will pay for the assistance in the price of the wig, but it is worth it to get something that fits and that is in a color and style that works with one's face and body.

In my case, I have settled on two different wigs.  One is from Raquel Welch, and the other from Jon Renau.  Both wigs are in a large cap, and they are very comfortable.  I will be switching between a darker shade of wig used for the cold months and a slightly lighter shade used for the warmer months. My problem is that each wig costs about $300-$350, and it's hard to find them on sale when both my color and size are on sale.

Many companies selling wigs are simply intermediaries.  They will take the order, send it to the manufacturer, and take a cut for the sale when it is shipped.  Others maintain their own inventory. In both cases, I have found that my preferred size and color is out of stock more often than it is in stock.  So I've decided to buy 2 wigs at a time, so that I always have a spare to use.

I'm not going to give my readers a list of reputable online wig stores.  My advice. is to ask around and see what people say about each store.  Someone I used to know swore by the inexpensive wigs she got from China.  But then, I would never trust these wigs, as there is too much risk that I'd be wasting my money.  It is better to take your time and find a couple of online stores you can trust than to take a risk on a fly by night outfit.  If possible, stay friendly with a brick and mortar store as well.  They can be quite helpful in a pinch....

A weekend without RQS

 

No, this is not bad news.  RQS is going to fly South to see a friend.  As for me, I'll be able to take care of things that I normally wouldn't do because we'd be keeping each other company over the weekend.

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I've been putting off shopping for a car for a while.  This will be a good weekend to go to several dealers and take some test drives.  With over 180,000 miles on my car, I need to make sure that I have reliable transportation - especially when I drive all over the place in my feminine presentation, but carry ID in my male name.  The last time I had a problem, it was midnight and I was able to change into male clothes before AAA came to tow my car.  I don't ever want that experience again.

There are people I've wanted to see for a long while. And now that I have a girlfriend plus a job that sucks the life out of me, I have even less time to see these people.  So, I might just try to see one or two of them over the next few days.  Since I may be in Mario mode, it will likely be with people who know me in both modes, unless I change into Marian mode after car shopping.

Even with this, the 20 at 20 deal is on this weekend.  I want to get in to NYC to see one of these off-Broadway shows.  So what do I do?  I may need a weekend to rest from the activities I schedule for this weekend....

Planning Trips

 

Today's post will be a short one.  I don't have too much to say, and not enough time for a thought piece.

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Lately, I've been prioritizing my future travels. Given that I will be going to Hawaii later this year, I am thinking of the trips I will take next year and the years after that.  One of the trips I want to take is a Panama Canal cruise.  I'm making a lot of effort to insure that the Canal cruise goes through the old locks, as it will be much more interesting.  If the canal IS the destination, then I want maximum value from a trip through the canal.  It is important that I take this trip next year, as I want to visit my (now) 88 year old uncle in California.

One of the issues I will have on future travels is going through an airport and flying on a plane.  I hate going through security, and have lined everything up to get a trusted traveler number via Global Entry.  But this doesn't do much for sitting on a plane with my large size, nor does it deal with the issues of baggage.  I still fear the headaches of flying later this year, and will avoid airports and flying as much as possible in the future.

All things considered, it is better for me to be thinking of the future than of my most recent past....

Leftovers

 

The above salad is NOT what was left over from dinner the other day.  It tasted fresh, and left no aftertaste on the tongue or in the mouth.  Instead, it was the gyro meat (not pictured here) that left a bad taste in my mouth for several hours after dinner, and after having the rest of the meat as next day's leftovers.

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One thing that can be said about me in either Mario or Marian mode is that I travel on my stomach.  Most of the time, my friends can trust that I have an instinct for places that have good food.  Is it because I subconsciously analyze everything going on in and around a restaurant before entering?  Who knows?  But I usually find places which have at least one good dish on the menu.  In the case of Saturday's dinner with RQS, the best thing about it was the desserts - in my case, the Bougatsa at Piato.   

Several months ago, Vicki and I ate at Piato, and were underwhelmed with the food.  Neither of us could put a handle on why the food was underwhelming, but the Bougatsa was fantastic.  Vicki would gladly go back to that restaurant, if the only thing she would eat from there was this dessert.  However, Lefteris still remains our Greek restaurant of choice.  Neither of us have had a bad meal there, and its high quality has become "boring" - at least, until we try a place like Piato.

Now, I'm not knocking Piato.  But I am noting that after eating their food, I had a strange taste in my mouth.  Could it be that I'm allergic to a spice they use?  I doubt it, as I am allergic to very few things.  Instead, I think the food was likely to have been excessively salted.  That could be the logical explanation why I felt very thirsty after eating there.  When I had their leftover gyro meat the next day, I had that strange "taste" in my mouth for several hours.

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There are so many places from where I look forward to eating leftovers the next day.  Many of them serve food in sizes large enough that I can cut the portion in half, and eat it for lunch at work.  (Most of these places are Italian restaurants which serve giant plates of pasta and huge portions of meat.)  Even though I'm not eating out as much as I did before the pandemic, I still eat out more often than the average person.  Hopefully, I'll figure out how to do this in a healthy way which my doctor would approve of....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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An interesting weekend - Two people for the price of one

 

This weekend was very interesting for me.  I had RQS up to my place for the first time, and next day, had the opportunity to visit my brother for the first time in months.  It was a high mileage weekend, and worth it for every mile I had to drive....

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I've been stalling RQS in having her come up for a while.  Although she was in no rush to visit, she understood how my depression of 2020-2021 would affect how I took care of the apartment, and my need to make it "presentable" before asking her to visit.  She finally made it here, and didn't not get repulsed by the state of the apartment.  Instead, she understood what I want through for the past two years, and saw the positive side in me getting things back in order.

RQS arrived in Croton at 12:30 pm, and then we went to my apartment for a bio break.  Once that pressing need was taken care of, it was off to do a Mid-Hudson valley loop.  Although it was a little dreary outside, we enjoyed a country ride with several stops along the way to New Paltz, and then back home via Poughkeepsie.  

Although Vicki wanted to meet RQS, her Mother's Day planning got in the way.  So we ended up having dinner at a local joint before going home for the evening.  Once home, I showed her some more of my wardrobe, as well as a sew swimsuit pictures like the one above.  RQS said that she wouldn't have recognized me in this photo if she didn't know me as well as she does now.

The next day, I dropped RQS off at the gym, and then went to see my brother.  We haven't seen each other in months, and this was the first time we've gotten together since last year.  (Without checking this blog, I wouldn't even remember when I last saw him.)  Things in his personal life aren't going that well, and he had the chance to share things with me that he hadn't had the chance to talk about in a while.

When I picked my brother up, I had no idea that we'd be driving out past Smithtown for a late lunch. Normally, when I lived on Long Island, I never went that far out except for a couple of drives to Orient Point.  Now, in the past 2 years, I've been out in the Riverhead area (and beyond) several times.  And I'm glad that I still remember my way around the island after living elsewhere for almost 40 years.

All too early, it was time to drop my brother off at home, and then go home myself.  I'm not looking forward to go to work in the morning, but I'll be glad I'm able to do so these days....

Settled Decisions?

 

Looking at the picture above, many of you can guess what today's topic is all about.  The symbolism is important, as Roe v. Wade was considered a "settled decision" until now.  With the leak from the Supreme Court, it looks like the radical right is about to go on the offensive against civil rights - and that includes rights previously recognized as also belonging to the LGBTIQ community.

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Although I am pro choice, it is not because I like abortion.  Instead, I believe that people who do not have skin in the game of carrying a fetus to term should not be telling women what to do with their bodies.  There are many good reasons why a woman might choose to abort a fetus, such as Rape and Incest.  Why should a woman carry a fetus to term when she had no authority in the process of getting pregnant?

There are better ways of reducing the number of abortions in the Red States than an outright ban.  Some European nations have lower rates of abortion than we have, as they have better sex education than we have, and reliable birth control is cheap and easy to access - something which has not always been the case in the USA.  The only thing a ban will do is cause middle class women to take "weekend vacations" to "Blue States" for their abortions, while poor women get stuck with all the headaches of delivering unwanted fetuses to term.  Will these women keep the children or give them up for adoption?  I can see a future where White babies are adopted, while Black and Latino babies are left for foster parents to raise until the kids are 18.  Will these unwanted children get adequate love and parenting?  Given what we're seeing today, I think things will be much worse for these children yet to be born.

In the end, the argument about the legality of abortion will always be about when society considers the life potential of a fetus worth protecting.  Christendom once had the idea of the "Quickening".  Islam had the idea of "the Moment of Ensoulment."  Both took place well after conception.  The ancients understood that viable life had to be protected, but they also recognized that protection need not be given until that life (fetus) had proven itself viable.  I respect those women who would carry a fetus to term, even though it is inconvenient for them.  One of those women was a former girlfriend of mine in her childbearing years.  

Given that abortion had already been severely restricted (and otherwise made hard to get) in the Red States, I don't expect to see much change after the Supreme Court makes its decision official.  But what will happen to other "Settled Decisions"  Will Same-Sex Marriage be next?  What about Transgender Rights?  Our rights are relatively new, and easy to undo.  It is time for us to help Cisgender women preserve their rights to control their own bodies, lest the Radical Right gets the ability to aim at us next.

Sometimes, I skip a day or two of blogging

Unlike many people, I do have a life outside of blogging.  It may not be much of a life (as FCP would likely hector me now if we were talking to each other), but it is my life.

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Lately, RQS and I have been discussing taking a cruise together.  But before I book such a cruise, I have to know whether she can accept me in Marian Mode as well as in the Mario Mode which she is accustomed to seeing me present myself.  And this means that RQS will finally get to see, in person, me presenting myself as a female.

Yet, this isn't getting in the way of my blogging.  Instead, it's because I am exhausted at the end of my work day.  This is also the reason I haven't been able to clean up my apartment in the way I'd like to.  Luckily, I've had a little free time in which I had the energy to do something, and I did just that.  Yes, it's just a start.  But it is some meaningful movement in the right direction.

Tonight, I had planned to do a big of cleaning in the living room.  Did I do it?  Not much.  But I did accomplish something that made things look like I could get the mess cleaned in a big Friday night session.  And if I didn't have to look at my computer before going to sleep, I wouldn't have even written this much....

Back to work

 

Now that I've been to DC and back, it was time for me to go back to work.  AARGH! 

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Most of my readers know that I have one of the most boring jobs around.  Today, I started the day by almost forgetting my wallet at home.  When I reached the deli where I usually get my morning egg sandwich, I didn't find my wallet in my pocketbook.  It got to the point in my search that I was going to return home to search my bedroom, and I texted my boss.  One problem - my wallet fell out of my pocketbook and was sitting on the seat where I found it.  So I had to text an OOPS to him before going inside for my sandwich.

Getting into work was little better.  The configuration for one of the programs I depend on to do my job got screwed up in the week I was gone.  It took the better part of the day to get that issue fixed.  Luckily, I was able to begin work on other tasks while the computer technician did his job, and I started to wake up before lunch.

Yet, by the time I got home, I was tired.  I stopped by Walmart to pick up some bathroom furnishings needed before RQS comes here for the first time.  Hopefully, she won't be turned off by the place when she's here....

Weekly Food Shopping

 

Above is a woman who gets in her daily share of minerals in a non-traditional way.  As for me, I end up buying prepackaged meals at the local grocery store, as I am often too tired to prepare a set of proper lunches for the rest of the week.  And this is what I want to focus on today....

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Sometime before the pandemic started, I decided to try Freshly's pre-made meals.  Although they were tasty (and healthy), the problems with the last mile delivery services (e.g. LaserShip) made me cancel the service.  Who wants to look at nearby doorways to find a set of boxed meals that should have been delivered to one's own door?  The last time I used Freshly, their last mile delivery services got the delivery wrong 10 out of 13 deliveries.  So I am a little hesitant about choosing this service.  

After dropping Freshly, I went to Top Chef Meals.  This service is located 15-20 minutes South of me (near where I work now), and is easy to reach for small orders.  When I used it last, I could place an order for 6 meals and pick them up locally for no charge.  This option isn't available today, and I'd have to order 10 meals to get "free shipping."  Yet, I am seriously thinking of using this service again given where I work.  The meals were good, and I could easily customize them to recognize my vegetable preferences.  (I hope that they have better last mile servicing than Freshly does....)

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Unfortunately, the pandemic got in the way of me using these services.  I could now use one, so that I don't have to deal with a weekly visit to Wegman's, Stop and Shop, or Shoprite for my lunches.  It's a big pain to rush out every weekend to pick up my meals for the week, as it doesn't make sense to pay for delivery from a nearby deli.

As you can guess, I am not a fan of cooking for one.  I miss having someone to share housekeeping duties with.  But in many ways, I am still a typical American male - as I will let someone take care of things if possible.  Thankfully, there are prepared meal services available that make my life easier than it would have been had I been in this position 50 years ago.

Looking at vacations I want to take.

 

Here's a nautical mileage cruise I'm thinking of taking in the future.  I've been to most of these ports before, and it would be nice to visit the new ports soon with RQS as a travel partner.  

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Now that RQS and I have made a successful trip to Washington, DC, we have started thinking of taking another trip together.  A quick run to New England and Canada's Maritime Provinces is something that came to both our minds.  Unlike my last run into Boston with FCP, who insisted that I keep her son and future daughter in law occupied, RQS likes the idea of going to see "Old Ironsides," and have some clam chowder at Boston's Union Oyster House while in town.

I've never been to Sydney or Charlottetown, so these ports will be new experiences for the two of us. As for Halifax and St. John, we can always find an interesting excursion to go on in these cities.  But in Portland and Boston, there are things we can do without the help of the cruise line's excursions.  So, we have a lot more options than which are presented to us by the cruise line - but we have to be willing to make sure to get back to the ship on time if we exercise those options.

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Since 2022 looks like it is already going to be a busy year, I've already started to look at cruises for 2023 and 2024.  Right now, the cruise at the top of my list is a Panama Canal cruise through the Historic Locks which starts in Los Angeles and ends in Fort Lauderdale.  If we do this cruise (or I do it alone), it will be a great opportunity to get there a day (or two) early and see both my aunt and uncle.  They are in their upper 80's, and I want to see them while they are able to get around on their own.

 

 

The above 25 day cruise is something I also want to take sometime in the future.  Although it is scheduled for July 2023, I can't see myself spending money on another bucket list cruise this soon after the Panama Canal cruise I want to take.  Since I want to visit my niece (living in London) sometime in  2023 or 2024, I figure that this will be a 2025 trip assuming that this cruise is still being offered.

 

One way or another, I expect to be doing at least one bucket list trip per year....

Cleaning up the apartment

 

This was the mess in my room from a couple of weeks ago.  When I started off the day, my bedroom still resembled this look, but with mess on the floor as well.  Today, I have cleaned up much of the mess on the floor, gotten everything in the closet that needs to be in there, loaded up a couple of donation bags for charity, and still have a lot to take care of.

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The process of apartment degradation began before the pandemic and accelerated once my cleaning lady stopped coming on a monthly basis due to the pandemic.  I never realized how bad it became until I started to face the enormous task of cleaning it up.  Every time I started to make headway, I lacked the energy to keep the process moving.  This, in part, was because I had to deal with having the energy to go to a job that is an energy suck.  It also was because I had little incentive to get the place "clean" until now.

I now have a deadline of next weekend to get this place clean enough for RQS to come up here.  This has kept me in the apartment all day creating donation bags, filling garbage bags, and doing the basic tasks of organizing things.  When RQS arrives, she knows that she will find a mess.  But she will also get a chance to see my female mode closet and my male mode closet.  Hopefully, she won't get turned off to me after she sees me turn myself into Marian for the day.

So far, I've been able to get some stuff cleaned up in both my bathroom and in my bedroom.  Hopefully, I'll get more done tomorrow, as I want for the rest of the week to be less troublesome and less of an energy suck.  Keep your fingers crossed....

A visit to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

 

Although FH and I will never be romantic partners, we still get together now and then to be activity partners.  There is enough about her that I like to enjoy an occasional day trip somewhere, but not enough that I'd want to have her as a partner for either 30 minutes or the other 23 hours and 30 minutes of the day. Today was one of those days that we ended up going to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden (BBG).

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If I were going to BBG on my own, I'd have taken the train into NYC, then caught either of the #4 or #5 trains to BBG.  Instead, I had to pick FH up, as she never takes the subway these days.  (She was surprised that I now ride the subways, 2 years since everything shut down for the pandemic.)  Driving between Forest Hills and the heart of Brooklyn takes forever, as none of the roads go from here to there without major traffic jams.  For a 9 mile trip as the crow flies, Google Maps said it would take 45 minutes - an average of 12 mph!  No wonder why I hate driving within NYC limits....

We got to BBG around 2 pm, and proceeded to walk around the garden.  FH, as usual, wanted a photographic record of her presence at the place, asking me to take pictures of her at several places along the paths.  I don't mind doing this, but it gets tiresome after a while.  

The thing that I dislike about FH the most is her self centered/ethno-centeric attitude about life in general.  For example, I am disgusted that the Nazis killed 11 people during the Holocaust. To me, murder is murder, no matter what the justifications are for doing so. She focuses on the 6 million Jews, and effectively says that they are more important than the other 5 million because she's Jewish.  FH also focuses on my ethnic background, and not how I identify myself.  This would bother me to no end if I were in a relationship with her.  Yet, I can tolerate it in small doses as a friend.  

Sadly, FH is not able to see things from others' point of view.  When we took a break to sit down and have a soda, our conversation meandered to the Coney Island Sideshow.  Her thoughts on the issue are that people with birth defects should never put themselves on public display to get by in life, such as the performers in sideshows.  She would put them on the dole and keep them out of sight.  I have nothing against those who would accept public assistance, but I respect the likes of those who would earn a living by showing off how they adapted to a world built for people unlike them.  She couldn't understand why people would put themselves in the public eye. as if they were embarrassing themselves.  As I noted that people such as Johnny Eck didn't feel this way, the lady at the next table mentioned a string of people who made their living this way, as if she was disgusted with FH's attitude.  I guess that more people have my attitude towards these people than FH's attitude.

Around 4 pm, we left BBG and took the long way to Howard Beach to have dinner.  Given that I remembered that there used to be quite a few restaurants along this stretch of road, we headed South. Somewhere on the left, I saw a restaurant on the left that looked like there might be a line at 5 pm.  FH nixed it because she didn't want to risk waiting on line. (I remember Lenny's advertisements from 40 years ago.  So the place had to be decent to survive this long.  And, at 5 pm, any line would be short.  But I digress.)  We found an Italian joint somewhere just before Cross Bay Boulevard reached the toll bridge, and pulled in for dinner.  To me, the food tasted good, save for the tomato sauce which may have simmered too long.  FH, however, thought it was less than good.  So it will be another of those places we never go to again.

On the way home, FH asked me to be her +1 for a wedding she was attending next month.  I wasn't going to answer yes right away, as I wanted to make sure that I didn't have any conflicts with RQS.  (I'll always put my relationship with RQS first, over that of my female friends.)  Hopefully, I'll be able to go - even if it means I spend another day as Mario....

 

 

PS: After thinking about it, I was glad to turn down FH's "plus 1" request.  I would know only her, and I would be uncomfortable at a wedding where I wouldn't know what is going on next.  She was upset at me for not responding to her as soon as she told me the date was Memorial Day weekend.  But then, she is a bossy type who has trouble when she can't manipulate people as she wants....

The detrius of someone's life

 

The other day, I saw this scooter put out in the trash area for bulk pickup.  Given that the scooter likely came from the belongings of a woman who died a few months ago, I feel a little sad seeing the scooter  here to be taken out with the trash..

We all get old, and we all die.  It's just a matter of how and when that these things happen.  For many of us, it's hard to get our heads around the idea of a time in which we won't exist.  Since our lives can end at anytime, it makes sense to plan for tomorrow, but live for today.

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This morning, I came home from a doctor's appointment and met my next door neighbor.  He said that he hadn't heard any noise coming from my apartment and hadn't seen my car move in several days.  If he hadn't seen me come in today, he might have called the police to check in on me.  This got me to thinking: What if something did happen to me?  Who'd care other than distant family and friends?

Right now, my apartment is a total mess.  I'd feel sorry for the people who would be responsible if I were to die suddenly, as they would need to figure out how I arranged things in my financial life and then clean out, freshen up, and sell my apartment.  So, I will need to take care of a few things while I still have the ability to do so.  (No, I don't expect anything to happen to me.  But how many of us do?)

As my readers know, I maintain two wardrobes.  I can only imagine what my brother would think if he saw what was in one of my closets.  Whoever handles the closeout of my life will be in for some surprises.  It's too bad that I won't be around to see their reactions....

Leaving DC

 

James Smithson - a man whose gift to a nation he never visited in life created an educational institution which is known the world over.  His crypt is pictured above, and I'd bet that he'd be surprised to find out how much his gift has benefited our nation.

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Tuesday was the day we planned to leave Washington, DC.  RQS made one mistake which she regretted. There was an exhibit at the Arts and Industries Building she wanted to see, and it was closed for the day.  So we walked over to the Smithsonian castle to see what was inside of the welcome center and for me to make my visit to Smithson's crypt.  

This visit would be the shortest time we'd spend inside a museum, as it was already very warm outside and we had to vacate our room at the hotel by 1 pm.  So, once we finished our visit, we went back to the hotel for a couple of hours, and then to Union Station.

We killed time at Union Station before boarding our train.  This time, we ended up in the quiet car, and this was a blessing.  The quiet was what we needed after an exciting trip.  It was warm when we left Washington, DC and cool when we arrived in NYC.  But we learned a little bit more about each other, and the trip was worth the time and money spent to do this....

National Zoo

 

Monday was a trip to the National Zoo.  And the ape above was continually having fun with the people on the other side of the plexiglass shield.  The fellow above would retreat to the back of his "cage" for a while, then run up to the plexiglass, make a loud noise by banging on the plexiglass, then returning to the back of his area.  You should have seen the reactions children were making as he rushed up to scare them.  He was having fun with us, and we were enjoying it.

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This Zoo visit would be the first one for me in DC.  And I was glad that RQS made all the arrangements for us to have times entry passes, as I never would have thought of this.

We took the Metro to the Zoo's neighborhood, then walked the 4 long uphill blocks to the zoo.  Once inside, we followed the path downhill to several exhibits including Cheetahs, Pandas, Lions, Elephants, and the Great Apes.  Most of apes couldn't give a hoot about the people looking at them.  But when one looks at these apes carefully, one can see the thread of common genetic ancestry that binds our species together.  (I'd love the word "humanity" here, but it wouldn't be appropriate to use it for another primate.  Yet, one can see a certain something in their eyes for which I don't have adequate words to describe.) For me, seeing these apes was the highlight of this visit. Yet, when I think of them, I wonder if they feel "caged" being in this artificial environment.

When we got to the end of the Zoo's downward path, we found out there was no shuttle to bring us back to the top of the hill.  Although a shuttle was marked on the zoo's maps, it stopped running because of the pandemic, and no one knew when or if the shuttle would return.  So we hoofed it back ip the hill and to the exit, taking breaks along the way to cool off.

After we left the zoo, we went to a restaurant I noticed on the trek to the zoo.  If you're ever in DC, go to this restaurant (Hot N Juicy Crawfish) and order the "Get your feet wet" combo.  You won't be disappointed. Sadly for us, their Manhattan outpost has closed.  So we'll have to revisit this place the next time we're in DC.)  Unlike our disappointment with the prior night's Ethiopian restaurant, this restaurant was "Fan F'ing Tastic!"  YUM!!!!   The two of us chowed down on a bucketful of tasty seafood, and got out of the place for $60.  How could you beat that?

On the way out, we found that RQS had lost her cell phone.  After she started looking for it inside the restaurant, I decided to ring the phone.  After a couple of tries, someone at the zoo answered it.  So it was back to the zoo to pick up the phone.  Arriving at the gate, we used the intercom to call the park police, and we were driven to the park police station to pick up the phone, then back for us to exit the park.  This incident showed us that we could work well together in a moderately stressful time, as we could keep our cool when things could get totally screwed up.

National African American Museum

 

The above is a picture of RQS standing in front of the Point of Pines Cabin at the National African American History Museum.  Given America's history of treating Blacks as second class people, I feel that this museum is a "must visit" for all Americans. 

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RQS set up the agenda for this trip.  The schedule for our first full day in DC, Sunday, was a visit to the National African American History Museum, followed by a dinner "somewhere".  There was an exhibit at the Arts and Industries Building we wanted to see yesterday, but we were too tired to see it when we arrived.  This morning, we didn't bother waking up early enough to see this exhibit, and proceeded to walk the length of the mall to reach today's museum by 12:30 pm.

Upon entering the museum, we proceeded to the second floor and started viewing exhibits.  Most of the exhibits on this floor focused on artifacts in the 20th century.  This included women in professions such as midwifery, people in sports, and other artifacts related to the "black experience".  It took us over 1 1/2 hours to make it through half of this floor before we decided to have lunch.

After lunch, we went to a larger exhibition (I think permanent) which took up 3 lower levels of the building.  It showed how "Blackness" and "Whiteness" was not a big issue in Western society until European nations started to colonize the Americas and use Africans as slaves.  (I'm not doing the exhibits justice.  You'll  have to see it for yourself.)  From there, the exhibition showed how blacks were brought to the Americas, how they were treated once here, and how slavery affected American society - even after slavery was "abolished" in the United States.  By the time 5:00 came around, we were exhausted, and we went back to the hotel to rest for a while.

Later that evening, it was time to eat, and we made it to U Street.  Unfortunately, we selected an Ethiopian restaurant which once served good food with lousy service.  This time, it was mediocre food with lousy service.  Both of us wanted something sweet to eat afterwards, so we ended up walking a while before finding a Jeni's ice cream shop.  And this was an unexpected blessing, as there was a line out the door.  This meant we'd likely enjoy the ice cream we were about to have - which we did.  It was a nice way to end a great day....

Traveling to DC

 

This weekend, RQS and I went down to Washington, DC for a little R&R.  We've been looking to get away for a while, and I took the week off without pay in order to do so.  Today's entry is not going to be a full recap of the trip.  Instead, it is more of an overview of what we did during this trip.

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One of the things RQS and I felt that we needed to know was whether we could go away for a mini vacation (with opportunities to escape each other if needed) and find out whether we could get along after several days together.  On that issue, I can say that we have dealt with a couple of mini crises, and we have passed a couple of tests in dealing with unexpected adversity.

We left for DC on a Saturday, and used a Lyft to get to Penn Station (NYP) from RQS's house.  The driver asked if it was OK not to use the most direct route through Manhattan to reach NYP, as there was a parade going on that day (which he was going to attend).  We said OK, and did the loop from the Brooklyn bridge to South Ferry, then back uptown on the West side, where he dropped us off across from the new Moynihan train hall.  This wasn't a problem, as we had time to spare.  But we almost blew it, as RQS misread the departure time.  Luckily, I noticed the error, and we made it across the street with over 30 minutes to spare/

One of the problems that was going to bother me throughout the trip would be my lack of low denomination folding money.  I had several $100 bills on me, but was running out of $20's.  So our lost time in NYC was due to my looking for a Chase branch before getting on the train.  This forced me to do something which became an advantage for me - use a specific credit card for all my purchases on the trip.  This made it much easier to figure out how much I was spending on the trip, and balance things out with RQS at the end of the trip.  But I digress.

RQS and I waited in the train hall for an announcement to tell us that it was time to board our train.  While waiting to get on the elevator, we met another couple traveling to DC and I overheard a comment about New York City rudeness.  I said that in NYC, if a person uses deleted expletives for 5 minutes then says "have a nice day", you know that the person likes you.  Then, I mentioned that the F-Word is not an expletive in NYC, but only a word used for dramatic emphasis.  They laughed at this while we got on the escalator taking us down to the platform.

Boarding the train was not an issue, and we saw a homeless woman riding between the train cars.  The steward chatted with this lady, and then she proceeded to lock herself in the lavatory for most of the ride.  About 2 hours lady, the attendant (and a female assistant) did their best to politely tell the woman that she had to leave the lavatory before the train reached DC.  When she finally vacated the room, she used words to define herself that showed how down and out she was.  As much as I felt sorry for her, I was impressed at how well the two Amtrak employees dealt with an issue which could have escalated into something worse.

As we arrived in DC, we noticed that the temperature was much warmer than it was in New York.  Instead of a long sleeve shirt and a windbreaker, it was time to break out a short sleeve shirt.  Yet, after checking in to our hotel, we stayed in what we were wearing for a nice dinner with RQS's cousin before calling it a night.

I feel like I've been running on empty for a while.

 

If I can say anything about my life lately, it's that I always to feel sleep deprived during the week.  For the past two days, I've taken a nap shortly after I got home and have awakened too late to get much of anything done.  Luckily, I had enough broken sleep to have enough energy to get through the day without feeling that I need a nap while at work.

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Strangely enough, I will miss having a place to go to when I eventually leave my job.  The people are a nice bunch, even though they don't have much time to be social. The place is LGBT friendly, and I have never noticed anyone saying negative about me or others in the LGBT community that is related to our gender issues.   Yet, I will enjoy having time back in my life to do things.  And, even more importantly, I will be able to enjoy reading books again.

I've noticed changes affecting my health that I want to discuss with my doctor next week.  These changes are likely related to two things: my age, and the toll that an 8 hour/day grunt job does to my body.  Last year at this time, I'd have no problem going on a hike with DS.  Today, I think I'd feel winded early on.  This bothers me a bit.  I'd like to break the habit of drinking 4+ cups of coffee (or its equivalent) on a daily basis.  Unfortunately, I can't do this while I need caffeine's stimulant effect to make it through the work day.

Sooner or later, something's got to give.  And I'm hoping that I will feel comfortable bailing out of my job before that time comes....

Cancer Sucks!

 

As I was parking in my usual parking spot, I saw a neighbor walking with a cane.  Normally, he's in the best of health and able to take on an army without showing any stress.  So what gives?  Since he was having trouble getting out of his friend's car, I couldn't help but ask him "What happened?"  And the answer surprised me - he has lymphoma.  Since I don't want to give out any information which can identify him further, I will say nothing about the type of work he does, save that it requires him to be in the best of health.

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This development explains why his car hasn't moved in days.  Luckily, this form of cancer has a 92% cure rate.  But he is worried.  He wants to make it to retirement age, sell his apartment, and move to where his money can go a lot further than it does here.  While we chatted, he mentioned the board member who had been treated for cancer, then died of Covid-19 at the beginning of the pandemic.  I mentioned that my late wife died of cancer.  But I stopped short of volunteering any help.  There is not much I could do for him, save to drive him back and forth between his apartment and medical appointments.  Given that I have little energy these days, I'd be a lousy person to give him much help.

Obviously, this man has at least one friend nearby that can help him.  TCL and I have the same problem - we don't have the friends who could help us if something like this happened to us.  There is no way that I could call on FCP or an ex-girlfriend for assistance, and I don't think I'd want to even consider them even if we were still friends.  (The ex-girlfriend showed her true colors when we had our kerfuffle, and FCP would use it as a cudgel to get what she wants in one way or another.  It's better that I remember all the help I gave her with getting to hospitals, etc. than to let her say it was a one way deal in my favor.)

I'm rooting for this neighbor.  Hopefully, he'll be one of the 92% who live more than 5 years after diagnosis.

Dresses, dresses, and more dresses.

 

The one generalization a person can make about transgender people is that we like to wear clothing strongly identified with the gender of which we identify.  As a trans-woman, I love wearing dresses.  And that's OK.  But it means that to blend in I have to tone things down by wearing a dress as an oversized tunic.  So that's what I do more often than not these days.

When I bought the above dress, I didn't have the idea that it would be out of stock as quickly as it was.  I bought it just before the color above was gone.  Today, wearing this dress to work with a pair of black leggings, I felt that I looked pretty and appropriately informal for a place like my office.  (I'd hate to be wearing a T-Shirt and Jeans to the office every day as some women do at my office.)

 

This dress is slightly more problematic.  Once I put it on for a test drive, it screamed to be worn as a dress.  So, on the next warm day that I have free, I plan to do so.  It is very comfortable, and well worth the bargain price I paid for it.  (Remember, both dresses came from Target, and the net including shipping and tax was under $42.00.)  Even if this dress and the dress above it last for only one season, I'll get good value from them.

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Recently, the above dress arrived in the Mystery Box shipment from Universal Standard.  This is the type of dress I'd never buy on my own as it's best worn by a woman with a defined figure, and not by a trans-woman. It took me a while to figure out how to put this dress on, as the outer belts which tie together by the woman's left elbow didn't have a hidden hole for one tie to go through - like the one below.

This dress was also in the shipment, and I posted a mediocre picture of me wearing it in an earlier post.  At least, this dress was easy to figure out once I saw the hole for the belt that came in from the left side of the dress.

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Even though I feel that the dresses from Universal Standard are of better quality than the dresses from Target, I will get more use from the two simple garments at the top of the entry.  Will I be tempted to buy more dresses in the future?  Yes.  But most of my purchases will be for practical purposes, and not to gamble on getting something nice as I did buying "Mystery Boxes".