It's been a while, and I'm sure that WDS has fallen ill again (or worse).

I'm not sure of what to say about my friend WDS.  He was my best man when I got married 40 years ago  We were very close when we were in college, but we drifted apart over the years.  Both of us lost our wives to the same type of cancer.  Both of us had a strong interest in computers.  But he took a very different path than I did in life. WDS went deep into the technology rabbit hole, while I stayed closer to the business world.  He worked hard to avoid becoming technically obsolescent, while I stayed in a stable position with a dying technology.  Yet, our friendship lasted..

Things changed when our wives passed away.  WDS always felt that he should have been a sailor on a 3-masted ship, sailing the oceans and exploring new worlds.  With his wife, they planned to tour the country in a custom-built mobile home on wheels. That dream ended when his wife died.  I was with him when she took her own life, as she wanted to die on her own terms. She did not want to be doped up in hospice and kept breathing to please a society that couldn't let a woman die with dignity instead of in pain. 

Once his wife died (I won't fill in any of the blanks my readers might have), he was harassed by the DA in the city in which he lived.  It took 6 months for things to clear, and some valuable items were stolen by the very police department who were supposed to investigate the case. (I can vouch for one thing: WDS could not have prevented his wife's suicide if he wanted to.)  After things cleared, and his wife's death ruled a suicide, WDS left the NYC area for good and landed in Florida.

WDS and I had occasional contact via email after that, and he couldn't understand how I lost interest in the nitty gritty of technology.  To me, there was much more to life than making a machine get up and dance.  (If I were young, I'd likely have gone into robotics and made the machine dance.  But that's another story.) One time, when I reached out to him, he didn't respond.  So, I reached out to an organization he was associated with and sent out a feeler.  Still no response.  It took him a while to get back to me.  He had suffered a brain aneurysm, and no longer had the verbal ability he once had.  He was no longer able to speak, as he lost much of his brain's ability to quickly retrieve words and speak them. Instead, he was forced to constantly use a thesaurus to create sentences to express his thoughts in writing.  What would take him 5 seconds to say now took him a half hour or more.  So, I never had the chance to speak with him again.

The other day, I tried to reach WDS at his long term email address.  The domain he used was no longer in existence.  I had no other email address, but I did have a phone number.  So I texted him.  No response.  At this time, I'd bet that WDS has had more maladies, and may either be in a nursing home or has passed away.  Either way, if I'm visiting his neck of the woods, I'll knock on the door of his last known address (that I could find) and see if he's still alive.  If so, I hope he's doing well. 

 

A true "Bucket List" cruise.

 

This is a cruise I'd like to take someday in the future.  It's 28 days long, and it goes to ports I'll never have the chance to go on other trips.  One of my friends from game night has taken a 1-way 2-week cruise from New York to Iceland, touching at some of these ports.  But I'd want to do a round trip, closed loop cruise and spend the better part of a week in Iceland.

- - - - - -

Yesterday, I found out how much RQS receives in pension and social security benefits, and I realized that she has many more demands on her monthly income than I have on an income 20% more than hers.  She'd never be able to afford such a trip on her own.  So, if I were to book this trip, I might as well pay for her share of a cabin, as it would cost me the same either way.  

There is one problem with this cruise - The last time it's being offered (right now) is in 2026.  Instead of costing $6600/pp, a similar 2027 cruise will cost $11400/pp and last 35 days.  However, it will be a Solar Eclipse cruise, and the cruise line is charging as much money as they can for the privilege of seeing the sun disappear from the sky for 4 minutes.  Hopefully, the cruise line will offer something similar to the 28-day cruise in 2028.

- - - - - -

In 2027, I'm hoping to be able to take RQS on a Hawaii cruise.  Sadly, with the new Hawaii taxes that start in 2026, it will cost at least 14% more expensive than it was this year (ignoring inflation).  It will still be worth the money spent.  But it will likely be the last time I get the chance to visit this state, as there are no discount ways to cruise the Hawaiian islands.

There are so many cruises I'd love to take.  I'm lucky - I have already checked off 3 of the most common bucket list cruises, with more to go.  Hopefully, I'll have both health and money to finish off my list. 

I'm starting to pack for my upcoming cruise

 

I miss being able to cruise as Marian.  The Orange Snowflake is out to erase transgenders from the earth, claiming "it is all in our heads."  One problem - it is easier to change the body than to rewire the brain.  And even if it could be done, should it be done?  When the person who holds the presidency has no morality, no sense of justice, and no respect for others, then how can anyone cis or trans feel safe?

Safety for us trans people is important.  For those like me, we can go stealth and not worry much - but we still have our worries.  When presenting as a male, my whiteness helps keep me safe from the ICE raids going on in neighboring towns.  So, if I have to make contact with anyone from the Federal Government, I've decided to do so as a white male and assert my "privilege". This is not real safety.  I've been hassled by a TSA Officer before flying to London, simply because he had a bug up his ass.  Could you imagine what he'd have been like if I were presenting as a female for an international flight?

I remind people that Cisgender people are not safe.  The husband of one of my friends is an immigrant from the Philippines. He is not white, but he is a male US Citizen who has communications issues.  He lives in a town which has suffered ICE raids, and my friend (his wife) fears what could happen if he goes out during one of these raids. He could not advocate effectively for himself.  Given that we have deported US citizens caught in one of these ICE roundups, do you think he'd be safe.

RQS is a fair skinned black, somewhere in the mocha shade of skin tone.  She'd likely be tolerably safe, as she has an "American" accent. And that relative safety would likely extend to many "American Blacks" who speak with an "American" accent familiar to many ICE agents.  But that doesn't extend to their initial treatment by these "authorities", as there has been a different standard of justice for whites and blacks in America. I must note that Asian Americans may have similar treatment to American Blacks, but would be subject to similar risk factors.  Yet, even if I were a second or third generation Chinese American, would I feel safe if ICE was raiding a Chinatown neighborhood as they recently did in New York City?

The promise of the Orange Snowflake was to round up the criminals who were in the US illegally and deport them first.  Instead, he is aiming for quantity over quality, scooping up law abiding people (here legally or illegally) to make artificial quotas.  So, a wise gender nonconforming person can not feel safe in a society where every touch point with the Federal Government puts her/him at risk.

So, I've started my packing, and I'm disappointed that I won't be able to wear my summer dresses again. But, I still wouldn't do so on this cruise, as many of the islands in the Caribbean have similar backwards attitudes as our president.  I'll still be relatively comfortable and safe, but I won't be as happy as if I could present as my true self. 

 

 

 

 

 

She's going home, bye, bye....

 

I always feel a little sad when RQS goes home.  I love having her near me, but I also feel a little freer when I have the time to  take care of my own affairs without worrying about her feelings.  We have a good thing going, where our periodic absences from each other's lives makes the fondness grow stronger.

Today, RQS had to go home.  She had things to take care of at home, and I had things to do here as well. So, after relaxing all day (and having some of our leftover lobster), we got showered and dressed (me in a $5.00 dress I picked up at Burlington a few years ago) and prepared to go to the station. So, around 3:15, we left for the train station, me without my wallet in my handbag.  Well, after dropping RQS off, I found out that I left my wallet at home while I was on the drive thru lane at McDonald's.  AARGH!  You can guess how careful I drove home - I'm glad nothing happened on my way home.

Next, I was off to Walmart with my wallet in hand.  It was time for me to replace my car's cell phone charger.  When I brought the charger and cable up to the cash register, the credit card reader had problems with my card.  Why, I do not know.  But I ended up having to swipe the card instead of inserting the card to charge this to my account.  Later, I'd find out that my credit card company's fraud detection system had texted me about this transaction, and I okayed it.  Luckily, I had a second charge card for another transaction I'd make in the same store.

- - - - - -

When I got home, I found that RQS had a problem with her taxes. (I won't go into details here.)  When our tax lady looked into it, she found that Fran (who RQS used for her taxes 2 years ago) made a mistake, and RQS got flagged for a problem with her 2022 taxes.  OUCH!  This makes me glad that I had to do a last minute shuffle and find our current tax preparer.  I just wonder what tax year 2025 will look for me....

 

 

PS: The tax problem was with a previous tax preparer's mistake - The State/Local forms were not filled in correctly.  The person who did the taxes did this two years in a row.  I'm glad that both of us have someone good on the case these days - I almost got stuck using this person, and dodged a bullet with my taxes.

The remainder of a nice weekend (a short post)

 

But baby, it's cold outside...

Being serious, it felt cold outside.  It finally feels like winter is just around the corner, and the two of us finally needed our warmer coats to go outside.

- - - - - -

Sunday came, and I decided not to go to church.  Although I could have done so, I was not in the mood to shower and wear a dress on the coldest day of the season.  Instead, I turned off the alarm, turned over, and went back to sleep for a while.

When I finally got up, I proceeded to the living room to start my wake-up process and have a little bite to eat.  RQS was up about an hour after I was, and we relaxed most of the day.  Since we had to make a run to Kohl's to make an exchange, we knew we had to get out the door before closing.  (Little did we know that they were on Holiday Hours.)  So, we got showered and dressed (sadly, with me in Mario mode), and proceeded to Kohl's.  Thirty minutes later, RQS was out with her haul.  And then, it was over to Shoprite.

I've been to almost all of the supermarkets within a 30 minute drive of my house.  So I proceeded to the seafood department and ordered 3 lobsters.  These were feisty critters, and they likely had just molted.  We expected lobsters that would be easy to crack open and tasty to eat.  And we were right.  For the most part, we barely needed our lobster crackers, and we had some of the best lobster we ever ate at home.

Monday would come, and I'd have to drive her to the train station to go home.  But as Scarlett O'Hara might say: "Tomorrow is another day."

  

Guess who was the birthday gal! (No, not me.)

 

I rarely drive to TCL's house these days, as she is uncomfortable with me when presenting as female. So, I save the times I plan to see her for when I'm presenting as male.  This means that I visit her much less than I visited a former cruise partner when we were still friends. Today was a day I was presenting as a male, and it was a perfect day to visit TCL.

But first...

RQS's friend was in town today, and we had made arrangements to meet her for lunch.  Of course, this dictated that this would be Mario's day out. So I made sure that we'd see TCL for a belated birthday dinner.  While I was at it, I also scheduled my Covid vaccination for today as well.

Waking up at 9 am, RQS and I went to CVS, so that I could get my arm stuck.  Then it was off to a small diner in Yonkers where we'd meet RQS's friend (and family) for lunch.  This diner was tiny, and not geared for 5 people (plus infant) to have a leisurely meal.  Yet, we were able to get a table quickly and we were able to have lunch together.

RQS's friend started off by telling us about her sister falling ill overseas.  I won't describe the symptoms here, but she has been stuck in a clinic in Fiji.  Travel insurance does not cover her evacuation to America.  Instead, it covers evacuation to the nearest place where appropriate care can be given - Australia.  AARGH!  Now, RQS's friend is trying to figure out a way to get her sister home and under the care of American doctors.  Although we talked about other things, this was the overriding focus of our get together, and something still being worked on as we left the diner.

Next, we were off to New Jersey.  RQS had to go to Land's End to return a coat, and came out with another at a lower price.  (Everything was on sale at 50% of the list price.)  Once done at Lands End, we killed 90 minutes before driving to TCL's place to pick her up for a belated birthday dinner.

The 3 of us made it to a nearby Italian restaurant just before the crowds came in.  We had a leisurely meal, TCL being greeted as a regular at the restaurant.  Around 6:45, I got a subtle hint from one of the wait staff that they'd like to seat new people  (Don't think this was an unreasonable hint - there was over 15 people waiting inside the doorway, and another 15 waiting outside in the chilly weather.)  So, I signaled TCL after she finished the last bite of dessert that it was time to leave.  When I pointed out how many people were waiting to get in, she understood why it was time to leave.

It was a long day.  And an expensive one, as I dropped $250 on two different meals.  Yet, it was a good day.  RQS got to see her friend, and I finally got the chance to see TCL

Lunch with Maria - the only point of the day.

 

Years ago, I took a set of Boudoir pictures of my friend Maria, so that she could have something sexy to give her husband.  It was a fun evening, and I made sure NOT to view any part of her body that I couldn't see at a typical beach or swimming pool.  Neither of us were available at the same time - we were either both married, or one of us was "attached" while the other was available.  And yet, I don't think we'd ever have thought of each other as a romantic partner, as we never looked at each other as anything other than good friends who just happened to be in the opposite gender.

- - - - - -

The only thing on my docket for the day was lunch with Maria. We decided to meet at our usual place at 12:30.  Both of us got to Cold Spring on time, but we couldn't find parking close to the Cold Spring Depot restaurant.  So, I called her, and suggested that we drive to a diner in Beacon for lunch.  Fifteen minutes later, we were pulling into the parking lot and walking into the diner.

Maria was surprised to find me using a cane.  I noted that I don't always need it. But when I have to stand in one place for a while, it makes it possible for me to do so.  We sat down in one of the booths, and we caught up on each other's lives. I mentioned my two trips into NYC and our upcoming cruise, while Maria talked about her family and the problems she has been dealing with. As a grandmother, she should be able to give her grandchildren back to their mother at the end of the day.  But Maria has been doing the job of raising a second generation, while her daughter ducks the responsibilities of being a parent.  She's stuck doing so, and I hope that one day she will be able to have more leisure time to enjoy life. As it is, I may have said too much about Maria's life.  But, without seeing her face, and leaving the details of her life unsaid, I don't think she'd mind me mentioning this one aspect of her life, as she shares this struggle with many grandparents in our generation.

All too soon, we had to part.  Hopefully, we'll be able to meet again in December. I drove home, and took a much needed nap. And then, my day was over.  At least, I was able to wear my sweater dress again,  

Soon, I'll be going on a cruise ...again.

 

 

This year, I'll have spent over a month of my time at sea.  My last cruise for the year is coming up soon, and I'll be on a "new" ship (for us) with RQS.   Unlike all of the other ships we've been on, the Queen Mary 2 sails for a cruise line known for its formality.  It'll be a new cruise experience for us, and I hope we'll enjoy it.

- - - - - -

As I write this, it is close to freezing outside.  I'm not sure if I want to bother getting dressed and taking care of errands.  The temperature will be lower than normal for the rest of the week, and I have things booked towards the weekend.  This means that I'll be looking for all my cold weather clothing, and hoping that I have enough of it available when I need it.

It'll be relatively easy for me to pack for my upcoming cruise, as I will be presenting as Mario while on the cruise.  It's simpler for me to dress as Mario, as the only thing that changes will be the number of layers I need to wear.  But I wish I could have gone on this cruise as Marian.  Even if we had sane politics in the US right now, I'd be in the Caribbean where cultural norms aren't as progressive as they are in the US.

I'm thinking of giving RQS a winter cruise for Xmas.  Although we'd sail several weeks later, I'd want it to be a surprise.  One catch: As much as I don't like the itinerary, it'd be the last chance I'd get to sail on an MSC ship before they abandon the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal for a new home port in Florida.  Hopefully, we'll see MSC return some day, as well as seeing the terminal expand to handle two ships at the same time.

- - - - - -

If all goes right, the year 2026 will have us taking 3 cruises.  But, as soon as we're done with our last cruise, I'll start the process of both renewing my passport and my global entry registration (Trusted Traveler ID), so that I can take my 2027 cruises without worrying if there is enough time on my passport to schedule a cruise.

Ideally, I'd be able to travel as Marian, with a passport that identifies me as Marian.  But that is not likely to happen soon.  RQS still wants Mario as a partner (even though she's comfortable with me presenting as Marian.)  And in today's political climate, it makes sense for me to stay in stealth mode when I have to deal with any employee of the Federal Government.  

Since I rant about the Orange Snowflake and his fascist regime too often, I'll stay away from politics today, save for the "in passing" references in this entry. I'm more concerned about how I'll dress when I get home from my next cruise, as we will want to take the ferry from Red Hook to either the Atlantic Avenue or Williamsburg ferry stops before summoning an Uber.  I maintain my sanity by maintaining my freedom to travel - by any means necessary.  Hopefully, I'll be able to complete the process of getting an EU passport (I won't say which country yet) before this time next year, as this will be my "Get Out of Jail Free" card if I need one.

 

A nice way to end restaurant week.

 

RQS and I had only one thing on our docket today: A Restaurant Week dinner at Le Provençal Bistro,  I've eaten here before with Vicki, and loved the food.  This would be my first time here with RQS, and I knew she'd be impressed.

- - - - - -

We didn't get moving until late morning, and putzed around most of the day.  However, I had a phone call to make - I had to call the co-op board president and develop a game plan for our next meeting.  We have 4 applicants looking to buy apartments in our complex, and have to find the time to interview them all.  In addition, we have other issues that need discussion, and we have to fit everything into a 4 hour block.

Once done with the co-op business, my GI tract decided to act up.  Luckily, I still had enough time to get showered, made up, and dressed, so that we could make a 6 pm dining time.  Unlike RQS who decided to wear slacks, I decided to wear a nice casual sweater dress for dinner. We were able to get out the door by 5:15, leaving us enough time to fill the car up with gas, and still make it to Mamaroneck on time.  

Arriving at the restaurant at 6, it seemed to take forever to have our order taken. Service was slow and spotty, as I expect that one of the servers was not able to make it for the last day of Restaurant Week (an always busy time before Holiday Season).  However, this was balanced by the excellent food in front of us.  RQS had the Salmon Tartare, while I had the Garlic Sausage for appetizers, then both of us had Mussels for a main course, followed by chocolate mousse tarts for dessert.  Both of us would go back here again.  But the next time we do, it will be for a special dinner.

- - - - - -

When we got home, I behaved like a typical woman - I couldn't wait to take off my bra.  As I've mentioned before, I'm very comfortable in my female presentation, and have no problems going out in the NYC metropolitan area as a woman.  Hopefully, I'll be again able to travel the USA in the future as a woman, and go back to "Cruising Pretty" soon.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

(See you tomorrow.)

The longer I'm out and about, the less I write about being TG

 

When I started blogging, I used to talk about how I worried about whether people would clock me as being TG.  I discussed things such as voice training, meeting people as Marian, and other things that would set me apart from cisgender women.  Over the years, I have gained much more confidence in who I am and where I can safely go.  But people like me are under attack from the Orange Snowflake.  Most of us don't flaunt what we are.  We simply want to go about our lives without being treated less than human from certain social groups such as religious fundamentalists. 

This entry is not about being TG as much as it is about life in general.  For the most part, the vast majority of people lead humdrum lives.  Even if one has become famous, such as being a movie star, a sports player, and a politician, most of our lives consist of relatively boring activities such as shopping, doing the laundry, cleaning our houses, etc.. So, what should anyone write about?  I'm not one who makes a big deal about what I'm wearing these days, save that I want to hide my less than feminine features.  Going into the ladies' room is no longer a big deal when I'm presenting as Marian - I just go into the stall, get my clothes out of the way, sit down and relieve myself.  Most people don't bat a eyelash, especially since most fat people tend to be "invisible" to others.

For a little over a week, I've been wearing red nail polish.  As a consequence, I've been presenting as a female. The only reason I removed my nail polish today was that it was starting to chip away.  I figure that I'll go get my nails done when RQS goes home, as I don't want to spend the time to redo my nails while she's here.  

- - - - - -

Today has become a sort of "maintenance day".  RQS decided to reorganize my kitchen cabinets, while I decided to pay some bills and to prepare to do laundry.  Since the light over the kitchen counter got damaged, we will end up going to Lowe's to pick up a replacement later on.  While we were sitting down, we booked a couple of shore excursions for our upcoming cruise.  Now, we have 3 out of 5 shore days where we have things to see when in port.

Cruising has become our preferred mode of taking a vacation, as it gives us the most bang per buck. We keep looking at cruises we can take.  I'm hoping that the snowflake is removed from office so that sanity can rule in the US again.  Then, and only then, will I consider the cruise I want to take - a transatlantic crossing on the Queen Mary 2, where I can return to the States as Marian.

Until then, I'll just have to keep living my humdrum life....

You no foola me. There ain't no Santy Claws.

 

I love the Marx Brothers.  Almost 100 years ago, the Marxes exposed America for what it is in their first 5 films for Paramount.  In The Cocoanuts, they used the Florida land boom as a backdrop on which they hung their jokes; in Animal Crackers, they skewer that pomposity of high society; in Monkey Business, they have fun with the nature of the Transatlantic Crossing, being stowaways, and America's love for celebrity; in Horse Feathers, they have a field day with colleges, football, gambling, and speakeasies; and finally, with Duck Soup, they expose high level diplomacy and war for what it is - human foolishness. 

So, why did I start off with the Marxes today?  Well, RQS and I are gluttons for punishment.  I finally had a good excuse to buy a cruise for RQS as an Xmas gift, and we'll be going on the cruise sometime in the new year.  What does that say about us?  There is a feeling of absurdity I have about what we're doing, as I wonder whether RQS can keep up my pace.  Are we living like we're dancing in the ballroom while the Titanic heads into an iceberg?

With this new cruise, it will be the 3rd time that I've traveled this planned route (New York - Cape Canaveral - Nassau, Bahamas - Cruise Line Private Island, Bahamas - New York), albeit with different cruise line private islands. As of yet, I have little interest in leaving the ship in the Bahamas.  I might want to visit the Space Center when in Cape Canaveral. But, I've been there before and only want to see the area from which rockets take off into space, and not want to see the amusement park like areas of the center.  Luckily, RQS and I will be happy if we never get off the ship.

I am not a fan of cruise line private islands.  NCL has its Great Stirrup Cay (GSC).  MSC has its Ocean Cay Marine Preserve, Royal Caribbean has its Perfect Day at CocoCay.  It seems like every cruise line is getting into the private island business - and for good reason.  All money spent on these islands is captured by the cruise line with little going back into the local community.  Since I am not a beach bum (I spent too much time in the sun while I was young), I have little reason to get off the ship at these islands.  And now that NCL has decided to exclude GSC from a ship's drink packages, I feel that NCL has again reduced the value provided for money spent for a cruise, making its private Island even less attractive for me.

So, why did I choose a winter cruise with a less than optimal itinerary?  Well, I wanted to get away again, as well as finally give my gift to RQS.  In short, I wanted to show her in a concrete way that I care for her. This cruise does just that.  Hopefully, RQS will have a good time on this cruise.

    

Autumn is here! (A short post)

 

The other night, as I was coming home on the second to last train of the night, I noticed one of the signs of autumn - frost on the windshield of my car.  Although I will still have need of my summer clothes on my upcoming cruise, most of them can now be safely put into storage containers for a few months.

Soon, New York City's fanciest stores will have their holiday displays in their storefront windows, and Macy's Thanksgiving Parade will march through Midtown Manhattan.  It will be one of the best times to visit this city - if one's flights aren't cancelled and if one can afford the nightly rates at a Midtown Hotel. As for me, someone who lives near the city, I will avoid the tourist districts like the plague, as it's the time for pickpockets to collect easy money.  For others, it will be the Christmas Shoplifting Season.  Yes, I am a New York City cynic.  But it is the right of every New Yorker to trash their home city - if only to discourage visitors from coming and allow leaving the room for locals to enjoy their city as well.

Ask any New Yorker, and you find that most have a love/hate relationship with their city.  For me, it's a place that my rights as a TG person are respected, not denied.  It is a city where most people feel free to live the lives that they choose, and not have their lives imposed on them by a dysfunctional culture.  It's a city that seems to be the center of everything - if you can't find something here, it probably doesn't exist. 

Yes, New York has it's problems.  We have the crime rate expected in a typical American city.  Yet, young people have always flocked to it because it is the home of great opportunities.  From its beginning, New York's focus has always been a place where "money talks, and shit walks."  When Christian settlers complained about Jews in their then remote outpost of the Dutch, the Dutch West India Company didn't care - they wanted the then Niew Amsterdam to have its focus on making money  Both tolerance for "the other" and a focus on making money is the foundation of New York's culture and will always be the case.

So, why is Autumn so important in New York?

The answer is simple: New York is a place of constant change.  New Yorkers are reminded of this change when the leaves fall, when the storefronts change, and when the tourists come back to enjoy the city.  From Thanksgiving to New Year, we will be flooded by tourists. And I'm glad this is as much a constant as the swallows coming back to Capistrano each year.  

Not Ready for Prime Time (Again)

 

This afternoon, I treated RQS to an afternoon performance of "Not Ready For Prime Time."  It was the second time I would be seeing this play, and it would be worth the effort I made to see it again.

But first...

Late last night, I saw that they opened up the rush tickets for this play a little early.  So I booked front row tickets for RQS and myself at rush ticket prices around midnight, and left a message for RQS that I had tickets in hand.

The next morning (today), I took my time in starting to move and missed both trains into the city that I wanted to catch.  Luckily, there was one more train that I could catch to get me to the theater on time. However, I ended up parking at the far end of the parking lot, as none of the "midday spots" (as I call spots that open up when people return from the city after the morning's commuter rush) had yet opened up near the parking pay station.  From the get-go, I knew that I'd get in my 2+ miles of walking today.

The train got into Grand Central at 1:45.  After taking the shuttle to Times Square, and then the local to 50th Street, I still had over 1/2 mile to walk before I got to the theater. I was lucky to get there by 2:15, and I found RQS waiting for me having arrived 10 minutes earlier.  (She took an Uber to get across town, avoiding a lot of the walking I had decided to do.)  Once seated, we both enjoyed the play.  At the end of the play, one of the actors prompted RQS to get out of her seat and dance - too bad I couldn't get a picture of that for her.  She felt that it was well worth the effort to get to see this play, and I felt it was well worth seeing it a second time.

When the play let out, we took a taxi back to Grand Central and caught the next train back to Croton. Exactly 7 hours after I parked the car, I was turning on the ignition so we could go home.  It was a good, but mildly expensive day out.

Happy Birthday! (A short post)

 

It seems as if a lot of people "Got it on" in February, given how many birthdays there are this month.  First, we celebrated the birthday of a Meetup sponsor, followed by TCL's birthday a week later, and FCP's birthday a week after that.  In a way, it's a good thing we get the chance to take another trip around the sun. But I'll bet there are some people who'd still say: "Been there, done that."

So, I won't dwell on birthdays.  Instead of that, I'll describe the meetup I went to tonight.... 

The focus of tonight's meetup dinner was to celebrate the birthday of the meetup group's organizer, albeit a little late.  Unusual for me, I started getting ready to go out around 5 pm, and had myself made up and in a dress before 6 pm, and made it to the restaurant by 7, parking right in front of the restaurant.  I was the first person there, and the rest of our group of 20 trickled in over the next 30 minutes.

Service was very slow, and it was getting close to 8:30 by the time our orders were taken.  (Most of us ordered from the Restaurant Week menu.)   While waiting, I chatted with the woman across from me, a friendly person I've had the pleasure to be with at other meetups.  She mentioned my blog, and asked for advice about going to Hawaii for a cruise.  I gave her some information, and sent her links to 2 Hawaii Cruise articles I posted in my other blog.  By the time our dinner came, and then dessert, it was pushing 10 pm.  By now, I was getting disturbed at the wait staff, as they handed out bills to half of us, and left my group waiting.  After 10 minutes, I went up to the station and complained a little - and then our bills were finally presented to us.  

I'm not going to say that the wait staff ruined dinner.  Far from it!  But they did detract from the experience, as some of us (like me) had to leave a little earlier than others.  But I was able to get out of there by 10:20, and was able to chat with RQS for the entire ride home.  By 11 pm, I was glad to be home, as I couldn't wait to strip off my dress, remove my bra, and get into something something comfortable - just like most cisgender women my age would do. 

 

Socialism, Si! Fascism, No!

 

The above is an image of New York City's next mayor.  An avowed Democratic Socialist, Zohran Mamdani has defeated a GOP candidate without elected experience and two disgraced Democrats in an election closely monitored by the White House.  In California, Virginia, New Jersey, and New York City, the Orange Snowflake was very disappointed by the seemingly leftward shift in public opinion.  Collectively, the public is waking up and telling the snowflake to go F--k himself and the horse he came in on.

Years ago, a great American offered these quotes, illustrating his political philosophy:

1. On liberty and extremism: "I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!"

2. On government and freedom: "I have little interest in streamlining government or in making it more efficient, for I mean to reduce its size. I do not undertake to promote welfare, for I propose to extend freedom. My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them."

3. On government power: "The government that is big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take it away."

4. On choice: "I will offer a choice, not an echo."

5. On political strategy: "The only summit meeting that can succeed is the one that does not take place."

6. On the role of religion: "Religious factions will go on imposing their will on others unless the decent people connected to them recognize that religion has no place in public policy."

7. On monopolies: "Let us henceforth make war on all monopolies—whether corporate or union. The enemy of freedom is unrestrained power..." 

Although Barry Goldwater was considered a right wing radical in his time, he would be considered a moderate by today's standards. I feel this man had a more nuanced and balanced view of things than for which people would give him credit.  He understood the balance and tension between individual and societal rights. He understood that the power of government, business, and labor must be balanced. And he understood that no religious faction should be allowed enough power to dictate its will on the majority of American citizens.

I'd bet that Goldwater would have a smile on his face, seeing American democracy work to check and balance the power of the lunatics now in charge of the GOP.  Yet, he'd also worry about socialist political promises that get fulfilled, as well as those that can't be fulfilled.  Historians may see Goldwater as the man who triggered the GOP's shift to the far right.  I see him more in line with people like Rand Paul, someone who believes in limiting over consolidation power in some areas that affect the public.  

Do I agree with the late Barry Goldwater and his ideas?  That's not the best way to put the question.  Instead, I'd ask: Did Barry Goldwater see problems with America which could not be solved, even with an imperial presidency?  I'd say yes to that question, and that he recognized the dangers in over consolidating power in any one area.  We could do much worse than looking back a generation or two and see what they thought about problems similar to those we have now, and learn from their mistakes and their trade-offs.  

As they say: "Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it." 

Going into the city for a movie

 

Even though RQS went home yesterday, our plans were to meet today in Midtown, NYC to have dinner and see a preview of a movie that won't be in wide scale release for another 2 weeks.  So, while RQS took care of her tasks, I took care of clarifying the logon to a cruise line's site and paying off a cruise on a different line we'll take next year.

RQS doesn't know that I've been thinking of giving her a cruise for Christmas (to be taken later on), as well as some other gifts she can open after Santa goes back up the chimney.   It's not something I'd consider doing all the time, but she is a good woman and I want to show her that I appreciate her in my life.  I'll have to figure out a way for me to pay for the cruise AND have all of her information in the reservation without her knowing.

- - - - - -

Around 5:00, I drove to Croton-Harmon, paid for parking, then got on the train to NYC.  Although it was a local, I had more than enough time to both make a subway connection and then walk to the restaurant where RQS was meeting me.  Darbar is a cozy Indian restaurant on 55th Street between Lexington and 3rd Avenues.  Although the prices seemed a little steep by the standards of places I eat at (they had a $60 Prix-fixe dinner menu, as well as a good al-a-carte menu), it was well worth the money.  By the time we finished dinner, we had 45 minutes to make it to the theater for "Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery."  

Although the new Knives Out movie is a preview of what is being released at month-end, we figured that it would be a great thing to go into NYC on a weeknight for something special.  One problem - we got there at 9:00 for a 9:30 showing, and there was nowhere to sit and wait.  My back was killing me for the next 35 minutes or so, as they were running late.  (There was a Q&A session with the director after the film.) So, it wasn't until 10:00 until the film started, and it lasted until after midnight.  (Go see this film! It starts slowly, as it has to introduce all the main characters.  But once it gets moving, it is a fun comedy wrapped inside a mystery movie.)  I won't spoil the movie for you, but I was able to guess who did it based on the actor's performance.

We left the theater at midnight and hailed a cab - first to drop me off at Grand Central, and then to bring RQS home safely.  She was home much earlier than I was, but spent more on the ride that brought her home.  As for me, I didn't get home until after 2:00 am - and was still awake 2 hours later. 

 

 

Another weekend with RQS

 

We awoke on Saturday morning, and decided to relax for most of the day.  It was a nothing burger of a day, I don't have much to say about it.  So I'll skip it and move on to Sunday.  I had two things on the docket for the day: (1) Church for the first time in months, and (2) Dinner with Vicki at Benjamin Steakhouse.  And this had me get dressed up in the morning, stripping off my clothes for the better part of the day, and then getting dressed again for dinner.

- - - - - -

I awoke early and proceeded to rest a little before getting dressed.  Going back and forth into the bedroom, I tried not to make noise, so that RQS could continue to sleep.  Around 10 am, I went to Dunkin Donuts for some coffee and a donut, and I was off to church.  What can one say about going to church.  It is a communal feeling, where one feels more connected to people and one's better self.  It was nice to be there, but I left before after-mass coffee, so that I could get back to RQS.

Stopping at the supermarket at the bottom of the hill, I bought some cream cheese so that RQS would have something to smear on her bagel. When I got in the door, RQS was already in the living room watching YouTube videos.  But she got up to toast our bagels, and we both had something to eat before taking an afternoon break.

Around 5 pm, we both got ready for dinner.  I put on the same dress I was wearing for church, while RQS was in the shower, and then we both made ourselves up for dinner.  At 6 pm, we drove to Vicki's, and then proceeded to the steakhouse.  Arriving at the steakhouse, they tried seating us near a fireplace.  I asked the hostess to seat us somewhere else, as I didn't want the heat making me uncomfortable.  (RQS later agreed with me later on - it was way too warm in that corner of the room.)  So, we ended up being seated in a far corner of the room, but could barely hear each other speak over the noise of the room.  Shortly afterward, our orders were taken, and we proceeded to feast on our steaks.  YUM!  The $45 restaurant week dinner menu wasn't bad.  But Vicki ordered an $80 bottle of wine, not realizing that I've cut back on my drinking after my doctor asked me to stop to see if certain blood levels were affected by the medicines I've been taking or by my alcohol consumption. Although the meal was good, I could have easily skipped having a half glass of wine that added $55 or so to what I was paying for dinner for RQS and myself.  

Around 9 pm, we were on our way home with leftovers.  Vicki was coming to a home that just had power restored.  (Last week's storm killed her power lines for 2 days, and she was living in darkness since then.) We came home to a warm apartment, and were both glad to strip off our clothes and relax.

I finally got my nails done!

 

I finally had the chance to get my nails done.  It's something I've wanted to do for several weeks, but the need to go out as Mario has gotten in the way.  Seeing my brother, having a doctor's appointment, and having to go to the bank for the co-op has all made it impossible for me to have at least 7 days (or more) in female mode.  As a result, it didn't make sense to have polished nails.

RQS was scheduled to arrive in Croton at 5 pm.  So I had just enough time after I got dressed to get my nails done, have a little snack and get to the station.  When I arrived at the nail salon, they knew me enough to ask whether I was there for a mani-pedi or just a manicure.  Since I was there for just a manicure, I sat down at the manicure station and proceeded to have my nails done.  While there I struck up a conversation with a recently widowed woman, and got into talking about cruising and the lines we preferred.  (Later, I mentioned to RQS that I wish I could have befriended this woman as Marian.  But this was not likely, as this woman was visiting family in Croton, but lives on Long Island - a very inconvenient place for me to visit.)

Once my nails were done, I had time to kill.  So I filled up the car, then drove to the station to relax until RQS arrived.  She didn't see me at first, but after a few honks, she saw me and my car, and we were off to have dinner.  The first stop was at the new Thai restaurant in town.  They couldn't accommodate us until 8:30, so we drove to a Mexican restaurant nearby.  I had the paella, while RQS had some tacos.  Both were yummy.  But my dish had enough food in it to feed two people  So I had leftovers to eat sometime over the next day or two.

And then it was time to go home.... 

There's a nip in the air.

 

Autumn is here and the leaves have fallen off the trees.  Gone are the yellow and green leaves.  The strikingly red ones are only a distant childhood memory.  And yet, it is one of my favorite times of the year.

- - - - - -

As much as I hate switching to a cold weather wardrobe, I enjoy wearing certain garments which cisgender women tend to dislike - specifically hosiery.  If one wants to wear a dress in the colder weather, one resorts to wearing tights.  Yes, they are awkward to get on.  But once they are on, things such as going to the loo isn't much different than when they are not on - one just pulls down/up 2 garments at a time.

I am writing this post on Halloween, and I will soon need to close my windows to keep the apartment warm enough to be comfortable.  (My apartment tends to retain heat, so when the heating system is turned on for cold weather, I've had to occasionally open the windows - even in winter.)  Once the heating system is on, I'll close the windows and be nice and toasty (if not a little too much) until spring comes.

On other matters....

Earlier this week, the abandoned apartment in my co-op complex was supposed to be auctioned off to the highest bidder (if there was one).  This did not happen.  Instead, the auction was postponed for a second time - no reason was given.  In the past, I had to visit a house which was going to be auctioned off at a foreclosure sale, and know that most of the buyers tend not to be able to enter a residence as I did years ago.  (Let's say that there was dubious legality in the access my friend had.)  So, any person wanting to bid on this apartment would be taking a risk of dealing with the current state of the apartment.

I expect that with the state of our current economy, we are about to see a bubble burst and a lot of properties will be headed into foreclosure.  Only risk takers with deep pockets will be able to afford to buy property, and many "little people" will be crushed - in part because they are under capitalized, or that they took on too much risk.  Apartments like the one that the co-op is trying to sell will become more common, and many properties will become unaffordable.

Knowing the risk factors of my complex, I would hesitate to buy into my complex today.  I know some of the questions that I should ask of a co-op board if I have to do so again, but hope I never have to do so. We've had a 30 year good run of decent co-op governance due to a baby boomer generation who would occasionally get involved and take on some of the tasks to keep a co-op running smoothly.  But, as we got older, fewer young people want to get involved.  This means that our co-op board is filled with retirees and not those young enough to think of our needs for the long term.  So decisions naturally get made that benefit the short term needs of the retirees, and not necessarily what's best for the co-op in the long term.

In Florida, short term thinking of many co-op and condo boards have kicked many hard decisions down the road and made future leaders take the heat for decisions made in the past.  Much needed maintenance was deferred, and at least one shore front condo complex collapsed due to rebar corrosion.  As a result, Florida has tightened up its regulations, and the costs of deferred maintenance now coming due are upending the co-op/condo markets in that state.  The problems in Florida have caused many businesses such as property insurance companies to become much much more conservative in the risks they take on.

Luckily, my co-op has been very conservative with property maintenance, and we have addressed things early enough to keep our expenses low.  However, we have had problems, such as having to remediate issues with the aluminum wiring that was legal when our buildings were constructed.  Yet, we have been affected by this shift by business to reduce their risks, as we have had to make an assessment to pay for a "forced insurance" policy imposed on us by our lending institution.   

If a healthy business can get into trouble because of the irresponsibility of "unrelated others" far away from here, then I wonder what will happen to the economy as a whole due to the capricious policies of the orange snowflake.  Will congress claw back its power and checkmate the orange snowflake?  Or, will they capitulate to his insanity, and push America into the toilet?  Given the history of America's real estate markets, it's anyone's guess, as no one has enough hard information to make a definitive case for anything.  All I can say is that if someone's going to invest in US real estate, one had better have deep pockets to weather out any storm that comes along.