It might be the last sample sale for Universal Standard in Manhattan

 

The other day, I received an email from Universal Standard saying that they would be holding a sample sale this weekend.  Given that the firm is moving out of their Manhattan offices, it is likely that their showroom will be moving as well.  So, I made arrangements with RQS to meet her at Grand Central after I've done my shopping.

But first....

I woke up this morning feeling barely awake.  So, I lollygagged a bit until I noticed that the clock had hit 10 am.  This meant that I was already an hour late, and had to rush in order to make a 11:42 train.  Luckily, all my ducks were in a row, and I was showered, dressed, made up, and out the door by 11:15 am.  Although I may have had enough time to stop for an egg sandwich on the way to the station, I decided not to take any chances, and go straight to the parking lot - just so I had enough time to find a spot before the train came.  I needn't have worried.  There were more than enough spaces.  But the coffee shop at the station was closed.  This meant that I'd have to get a bite to eat when I reached Grand Central.

A little under 60 minutes later, I was at Grand Central and looking for something to eat.  In the past, I'd go downstairs to Zaro's and get a couple of franks.  Sadly, they don't sell hot dogs anymore, and I ended up getting my pair of tube steaks at Frankie's.  It's hard to feel comfortable with the reality of today's prices - 2 dogs and a soda for $14.  I'm used to dogs that sell for $2 each, and sodas for $2.  

Once done with lunch, it was off to Universal Standard.  20 minutes later, I was on the elevator to their store. Within 15 minutes, I had bought a nice sweater and a nice dress for $75.  This is pretty good, given their usual prices.  While there, I found out that they are moving to Dumbo at year end.  So I may be traveling a little bit more to get to their next sale in Dumbo.

Now that I was done shopping, I went to Grand Central to meet RQS.  Around 2:30 pm, we met, and it was on the train headed to Croton.  Although I could say a bit more about the day, I'd rather keep it brief.

I understand why DS doesn't go to our game meetup these days.

 

 
When I selected this picture, it appeared as if it was a specialty coffee drink.  Instead, it is a picture of a hot fudge sundae at Ben & Jerry's in Mt. Kisco.  Yum!

- - - - - -

Why did I keep the picture at the top of this entry?  Well, it's a reminder of indulgences that I have avoided (or eased off on) over the past couple of weeks.  And it's a reminder that my weight has dropped over the past few weeks.  Yay!  And yet, it's something to monitor, as lethargy and weight loss can mean many things.  So I will make it a priority to see my GP soon.

- - - - - -

 The first thing on my docket for today was seeing my friend MSJ for lunch.  This was not a day where we would review changes she made to her resume.  Instead, it was a day which we exchanged stories of Thanksgiving related disasters.  All too soon, 1:30 pm came around, and we had to go   We'll be talking next week, and seeing each other in the new year.

Next, it was off to bring my old phone to the fix-it shop for battery replacement.  The lady behind the counter was a little surprised that I came with a phone battery in hand.  But then, I have previous experience trying to get battery replacements done on other Motorola phones.  She told me to give her 30 minutes.  So I went across the street for some hot chocolate while she replaced my battery.  When I returned, the phone was ready, and it was time for me to go home to nap.

- - - - - -

Around 4 pm, I started a load of laundry, and then got ready to go out.  After I brought the laundry upstairs, I drove down to Yonkers for game night.  Although I thought DS might come tonight, she was visibly absent.  The loud mouthed fellow that I know she doesn't like was there, and he was in fine form.  Not only was he scattershot in explaining rules to games he may have played once or twice, he was very loud in his arguments (that's a stronger word than I'd like to use) about game rules.  I was getting annoyed too.  It's easy to see why DS is absent most of these days - she is tired of this fellow making himself the center of attention.

We ended the evening early, and noted that our next gathering will be in 3 weeks, and not the usual 2 weeks.  That's fine with me, as I could use the extra Thursday for my own purposes.  But I'll have to figure out a way to give the host/hostess' children their Xmas gifts before Xmas.

It's been a long time since I was at a meetup

 

TCL will never understand why I attend meetups as Marian.  But then, she can never understand what it's like being transgender, and why I want to live life as a female.  So, I only try to get together with her when I know I'll have to be in Mario mode for something else that day.

- - - - - -

Today was not a day I would have wanted to see TCL.  I was lethargic for most of the day, and I would have skipped out on going to a meetup had I committed myself to this dinner in Pleasantville.  So I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving when I needed to do so.  

Around 4 pm, I got showered and dressed.  However, I didn't know what to wear.  It was too chilly for me to wear a dress, as I would have stood out from cisgender women on a day like this.  So I looked for a comfortable sweater top and a pair of women's trousers I could wear, and found something I haven't worn in a couple of years.

I arrived in Pleasantville 30 minutes early, and decided to play games on my phone to kill time.  Shortly after I walked into the restaurant, DS showed up.  A few minutes later, everyone else showed up, and we proceeded to order dinner.  After some more time, my Jambalaya arrived, and I was getting stuffed before I finished what was on my plate.  But I made sure to leave room for bread pudding for dessert.  

Around 8:30 pm, it was time to go.  As I walked to my car, one of the fellows at the meetup complimented me on what I was wearing.  Was this a polite comment?  Or, was he trying to show an interest in getting to know me better?  I didn't have the benefit of a young adulthood as a female, so I'm not always sure of how to read men while out as Marian.  But at least, I know this fellow to be a harmless gentleman....

It would have been my late wife's 70th birthday today

 

Above is a photo of my late wife.  She was a wonderful woman, but not without her flaws. She, like the building she was in, is long gone.  But why am I mentioning this here today?

- - - - - -

I've been widowed more than twice as long as I was married.  Little things such as the color of her eyes have become hard to remember.  Only other little things remain, such as she said the word "Nasty".  And yet, she has always remained a presence in my life - if only as a memory that connects me to being a young, immature adult.

My wife knew that I enjoyed wearing women's clothing.  But I never would dare going outside in such things.  She tolerated me more than anything else.  Yet, I wonder what she would think had she survived her cancer and lived to this day.  Would we have gotten divorced over this, or for other reasons.  (If so, it would likely be our lack of communications skills, and for resentments that built themselves up over time.)  Would she have embraced me, and encouraged me to become the trans woman I became?  (This is less likely, given that we would be Baby Boomers with all the prejudices absorbed during that era.)  Would I have been satisfied with her after another 10+ years?  Would the love still be there after all we would have gone through?  There are so many questions that can't be answered, as that time line never came to be.

Losing my wife at the age of 39 did one hell of a number on me.  It made me afraid of not having someone to cling to when times got rough.  Yet, I didn't have the emotional age to supply that support to others.  After she died, I ended up in a string of relationships over the next 25 years before finding my current partner.  Will we stand the test of time?  I don't know.  But we have gotten off to a good start.

- - - - - -

Being trans puts a crimp into finding romantic partners.  Aging puts a crimp into finding new friends. As an older trans person, I understand why many older trans people can get quite depressed - I've been a victim of depression myself.  Yet, I make the choice every day - do I get up and live, or do I give in to depression?  So far, I choose to live.

If my wife had lived, we'd likely have become poor parents.  Since she couldn't bear children, we'd have had to adopt a child.  But then, we'd have to move to a bigger place that we couldn't afford on my salary.  Could I have done better in my career and progressed further (with appropriate pay increases)? I'm not so sure, as I didn't have the emotional maturity to deal with a wide range of people.  So, I consider it lucky that we didn't have kids, as I don't think I'd have been able to raise them on my own.

- - - - - -

At this time of year, I often look backwards and examine where I have been and how I could have done better in life.  Recently, I realized something from childhood that I don't like - I used to look for the simple, brute force solution for problems.  It took me many years to look for subtle solutions to more complex problems.  Too bad that I didn't have this kind of insight earlier in life.

Yet, as I said in earlier posts, I now try to take life one day at a time.  I am concerned about the chaos our next president may bring.  But it is not triggering paralyzing fear, as it is now doing in many on the left.  There is a clarity I have now that I wouldn't have had a decade ago.  Is it because I've gained some wisdom?  Or, am I taking advantage of depression, and living life without a guarantee of a brighter tomorrow?  Who knows?  This doesn't mean that I can't get worked up when thinking about the possible chaos.  It only means that I'm choosing to maintain a healthy emotional distance from the potential chaos and not getting sucked into intense feelings when not needed.

As a trans person, I am concerned about what will happen over the next few years.  But, having lost a spouse, I have a better perspective on life.  She needed to be with someone with a cooler head than she had, and I now need to stay cool while chaos is all around.  And as long as I can, I'll try to keep posting here while I have something to say about the world we live in.

I want to have my old phone as a backup, but....

 

My old phone is laying on a small table with the tools needed to repair it.  But should I do it myself?  That is the question.  I no longer have one of the tools I need to soften the adhesive holding the remainder of the back panel for removal.  And this is where my dilemma starts.

- - - - - -

Last Wednesday, RQS and I were watching a YouTube video about Lithium Battery issues in electronic devices.  And I took my phone out of its case for the first time in months, finding that my phone's battery was one that needed immediate replacement.  So, in order not to be without a phone for a few days, I decided to replace the phone and transfer all of my programs and data to the new phone on Black Friday.  

Black Friday came, and I purchased the phone.  Then the task of moving apps and data to the new phone started.  Although moving apps and data was easy, Google doesn't move passwords to new devices for some reason I don't know.  (It may have something to do with security on the phones, but I'll leave that to others to explain.)  I'm lucky that RQS and I have a good relationship, as others might have thought I was deliberately neglecting her to play with my phone.

Over the next few days, I got most of my apps up and running on the new phone, save that "enhancement" stats for one game weren't ported.  So, I ended up starting from scratch, albeit at a higher level of play. This was the least of my concerns.  What should I do with the old phone?  I feel I should repair it, replacing the two year old battery.  Could I do it myself?  

My next step was to order a new battery from Amazon.  But it wasn't a battery direct from the manufacturer.  When the battery came in a few days later, I was able to open the back of the phone a little more, then I paused.  I didn't want to ruin the phone, nor did I want anything but a genuine Motorola battery in the phone.  So I ordered what I should have ordered in the first place, and decided to wait before deciding to hand the phone over to a pro for this repair.

Why did I order the batteries myself?  Unlike Apple and Samsung products, few places keep Motorola replacement parts in stock - even though it is the #3 cell phone maker.  At least, with parts in hand, the phone can be repaired quickly.  When I told this to TCL, she had no clue as to why this could be an issue.  But then, she uses an Apple phone, and they always have parts in stock at the Apple store.  And I'd rather save money by buying phones that cost 50% to 66% less than their Apple equivalents.  So far, my approach has saved me money on phones, as I am able to get reasonably priced upgrades when I need them.

A Microsoft Windows update cost RQS $100. (A short post)

 

Many of us have had to deal with flawed Windows updates.  Sometimes, an update is so bad that it "Bricks" the computer, requiring the user to recover to the last applied backup.  In RQS's case, the update installed a bad driver which wouldn't let her use her computer.

- - - - - -

Several weeks ago, RQS complained that her computer wasn't booting properly.  She'd see the manufacturer's logo flashed, and then she'd get a black screen.  I couldn't fix it on my own, and I suggested that we bring the computer to the local repair shop in Croton.  One problem.  I spent a couple of weekends in a row that I'd be spending time in Queens, and that I wouldn't bring the computer to the shop on my own.

Since this past weekend (as I write this) was a long holiday weekend, we planned to drop the computer off on Friday.  Another problem - many places, such as my insurance broker and the computer store were closed for Thanksgiving weekend.  So we ended up dropping the computer off this morning, on my way to drop RQS off at the train station.

Less than 90 minutes later, RQS's computer was fixed.  The local fix-it guy did a good job. Her computer is up and running, and we'll pick it up this Friday.  Yay!

I now find that I try to avoid talk of politics (a short post)

 

I am still recovering from the November election.  In short, the Democrats didn't have a chance, as people have way too short memories of the chaos of the first Trump administration.  This means that I don't follow political news as closely as I once did, and I try to talk about other topics whenever possible.

Why do I mention this?

It's midnight, and RQS wanted to get information regarding who Trump's latest nominees are, and I wanted to discuss other things.  Although we didn't have an incident, I was uncomfortable for a minute or two.  And I was very glad that our conversation shifted into a more comfortable topic.

- - - - - -

On other matters....

I was too tired to get moving until 4 pm, when we decided to finally make our way outside for a pizza, and then go to the movies.  Although the pizza was very good (as usual), we couldn't say that about the movie - it was sold out in both of the theaters we went to.  At least, we got tickets for tomorrow's showing.

In short, today was mostly a nothing burger, and it was just as well.  Tomorrow, it will be Pedicures for two, followed by a trip back to the movie theater....

The day after, Or: The turkey didn't die in vain. He died for us.

 

After a night where our stomachs digested yesterday's feast, it was time to take care of errands.  Our goals for the day: (1) Bring RQS's computer to the repair shop for a battery replacement, (2) Get my car's windshield fixed, and (3) Buy a new cell phone (the old one's battery needs replacing).  Of these tasks, there is no order that they must be done.  But they must be done while I present as Mario.  AARGH!  

- - - - - -

As usual, I awakened before RQS and decided to take care of some things before going out to get the car windshield fixed.  Unfortunately, several things conspired to prevent us getting to Safelite on time.  First, RQS didn't get dressed soon enough to meet the built in margin I had with departure time to reach Mt. Kisco.  Second, Google Maps directed me to a non-extant address on the "wrong road" in Mt. Kisco.  (I copied the address of 379 N. Bedford Road, and it got corrected to 379 Bedford Road - a location far away from where we needed to be.  And lastly, the street numbering on North Bedford Road was out of sequence, as Shoprite's entry (333 North Bedford Road) came after the small driveway for Safelite while building construction got in the way of seeing Safelite's building from the road.  AARGH!

We proceeded to sit down while my windshield got repaired.  If one looks carefully, there is a spot that got damaged in the safety glass laminate that couldn't be fixed.  However, from either side of the glass, it looks like a spec of dirt.  When it came to paying for the work, I couldn't get them to charge my insurance company directly - I had booked everything with a cash payment.  So I knew I'd have to deal with my car's insurance company when I can reach my agent.

Our next stop was to Best Buy where I bought a new cell phone.  The battery on my old phone is dying, and I figured that it was time to replace it and move things to a new phone.  As I write this, I'm monitoring the process of porting everything over to the new phone.  There will be a few hiccups in the process.  But I expect to be up and running this evening.  Once the new phone is set up for phone calls, I will order a new battery for the old phone and prepare to take it to the shop to be installed.  I will then have a backup phone for emergency use.  Yay!

Unfortunately, when we got home, the computer repair shop was closed for the weekend, as was my insurance agent.  RQS and I will be dealing with this on Monday, when everyone is back at work.

- - - - - -

While I am by my computer, RQS is cooking the chicken breasts I bought for Thanksgiving dinner.  One of the four will be used for Chicken Salad sandwiches.  Another will be used for Chicken Linguini Alfredo. And the remaining two will go into the freezer for later use.  Upon opening the package, RQS remarked - these breasts are heavier than the turkey breast we had last night!  Somehow, I think I did right....

It may not have been the holiday we planned for, but...

 

Well, what can I say about a holiday other than it's best when you can be with the people we care for.  In my case, I spent the day at home with RQS, rather then getting dressed up in nice dresses to go out to a fancy restaurant and then to see friends.

But first....

RQS was recovering from being in the hospital.  After two nights in medical prison (that's what I'll call a hospital which won't release a person when the doctors say she's ready to go home), she needed a good night's sleep.  And that's what she got - at least twelve hours of it.  So we weren't ready to go out for an early Turkey dinner at a local diner.  This forced us to fall into our backup plan which I had prepared for.

My backup for Thanksgiving was to cook some sausage based stuffing (technically, dressing, as it is never inside of a bird during the cooking process), a 2 1/2 lb. Turkey Breast, and make some Bananas Foster for dessert.  (I even had another level of backup, as I had purchased 4 Large Chicken Breasts 2 days before, as I couldn't find a bird small enough to cook for 2 people.) Luckily, we had the key ingredients for a Holiday Feast, even though we didn't have the Cranberry Sauce to go with our turkey.

Around 12:30 pm / 1:00 pm, we started to make the stuffing.  And this was the most labor intensive part of the meal, as we had to dry out fresh bread to ready it for use, cook the onions and celery, then cook some sausage, then mix everything together before baking it for 90 minutes.  Of course, we should have started the turkey at this time, but I delayed an hour.  By the time dinner was ready, it was a little after 4:00 pm.  And then, our plans to visit friends in Yonkers were shot - we were both way too full to even consider getting dressed and being in a position to even have a small bite to eat with friends.

Yet, with all being said, this was a good holiday.  RQS saw that I am more than willing to go out of my way for her, and I had a little fun doing the cooking for a change..

A rescue from a "Medical Prison"

 

By the time you read this, RQS will have been out of the hospital for 2 weeks. Hopefully, her blood levels will be level, and that she will not need a new medication.

- - - - - -

On the day before Thanksgiving, RQS was still in the hospital waiting to be released.  Having given the shift supervisor holy hell the night before, it seems like things started to get moving quickly. By the time I got to the hospital, she had been given her new prescription and was ready to go home.  Although she was released, the social worker assigned to her had arranged for RQS to get lunch - which never came.  So, RQS got dressed, and we took an Uber back to her place.

Once at RQS's place, we rested for a while.  Then, RQS got dressed, and we left for Croton.  A couple of hours later, we were in my car and off to get some Chinese food for dinner.  We've been to this place near Jefferson Valley several times, but we've never came close to spending $100.  This time, we broke that barrier - but it was well worth it!  We started with the Seafood Soup for 2, and then proceeded to the main course.  RQS had the mixed Seafood over thin, fried noodles, while I had the Roast Duck with Mixed Veggies.  Everything was very tasty and well worth every cent.

By the time we got home, RQS was ready to crash.  After a few minutes watching TV, we were back in the bedroom - where she promptly fell into a much needed 13 hour sleep.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

 

Right now, many things have been going thru my head.  Here's a list of some of the things that are giving me a little angst:

1. Trump's Cabinet Choices. 
   
   All of our future president's cabinet choices so far seem to have escaped from a clown car.  People such as RFK Jr. should be nowhere near any positions of power in any agency related to public health.  While watching the news, I was reminded about RFK's visit to Samoa, and the misinformation he likes to spread regarding vaccines.
   
   
2. Trump's Political Revenge.
   
   DJT has vowed to take revenge on people who opposed him.  Can we afford for the Justice Department to be weaponized?  I doubt it.
   
   
3. A possible upcoming trade war.
   
   We get cheap goods from the world over.  We can no longer produce low-cost goods, as they depend on low-cost labor.  Who can afford to live in the US if paid Mexican wages?  Making threats against Canada and Mexico will be counter productive, as the economies of the 3 nations are tightly integrated.  Do we want to dismantle NAFTA (or, whatever it is called now)?  I don't.  Most US goods are produced with other goods sourced from around the world.  We can not untangle this profitable web of trade connections without becoming North Korea.
   
   
4. The Christian Nationalist war against the LGBT community.
   
   When blowhards are trying to deny Sarah McBride her right to relieve herself in one of the Capitol's lavatories, it shows how deep seated hatreds based on religious bias can cause us harm. We're seeing states like Texas, Louisiana, and Florida making moves to teach the bible in their public school classrooms.  Do we want to become like Iran, where only one religion and one standard of behaviors is acceptable?  I don't think so.
   
   
5. Health Care.
   
   Recently, my partner, RQS had a medical issue that caused her to go to the emergency room, and then be admitted to the hospital.  However, once admitted, the hospital's bureaucracy got in the way of her being released due to non-medical reasons, causing he to miss having a fancy holiday dinner at a local restaurant.  Something has to be done to monitor both the progress of medical care, as well as the administrative process that could result in a person being kept in the hospital longer than medically needed.
   
   No one likes feeling like a product on an assembly line, and that is how RQS felt during her stay in the hospital.  Somehow, patients' emotional well being has become the least important item in a hospital's priority list.  No wonder why people fear going to the doctor.  Once a person has no control over any part of what is being done to him/her, they avoid losing any control at any cost.  The emotional trade off isn't worth having good health.
   
   
6. Family.
   
   My brother and sister in law do not have the best of marriages.  One day, when my brother was out, I called the house and we got into a conversation.  Without going into details here, she still loves my brother, but feels like she is being neglected by him.  On his side, he resents how her illness has affected his life - as if it was a moral failure.  It is a recipe for disaster, as neither of them are able to communicate well with each other, and long standing resentments get in the way of breaking down the walls between them.
   
   
7. Friends.
   
   The divisive political climate we have in the USA reminds many of a dysfunctional marital relationship, where two spouses constantly bicker all the time.  Sadly, my country at a macro level reflects what many people are experiencing at a micro level.  For example, the friend who was the best man at my wedding has changed in a very different way than I have.  He has effectively consumed the Kool-Aid, while I have learned to detect it and avoid it.  His attitude towards transgender people would be acceptable in the backwoods of Texas or in the deep reaches of Louisiana's Bayou country, but not around here.  I believe in live and let live, not imposing yourself on others.  I can only imagine his reaction if he knew I was Trans.
   
   Other friends are more accepting.  The host and hostess of game night have a Trans child, and have no problems with me.  Yes, their child has to live in both worlds and make their way through life.  Yet, the parents are preparing their child for their life ahead.  It's amazing that when people are continually exposed to different people how accepting of differences they become.
   
   
8. Planned and Unplanned Expenses.
   
   I bought my car knowing that I'd be spending a prince's ransom to keep it in running order. This is not a bad thing.  If one has a well designed car, one can keep it on the road for a long time with proper maintenance.  I was willing to trade money for a safer car than I was driving for the past 10 years.
   
   However, cell phones are designed to be disposable commodities.  I hate spending money on a new phone when the old one works perfectly well, but should need only minor maintenance.  In my case, my current cell phone has a dying battery that needs immediate replacement.  (It shouldn't even be used until the battery is replaced.)  Sadly, my phone wasn't designed in a way that I could replace the battery (as I could with my first cell phone).  Instead, I have to buy a new phone, or order a replacement battery and have a specialist install it for me.  Something is very wrong here.
   
   Now that I am retired, I am much more sensitive to money that leaves my wallet.  Yes, I'm in the age bracket where one should expect to drain one's lifetime savings.  And yet, the weight of all these expenses will always bother me a bit.
   

A prolonged hospital stay, a cancelled holiday dinner, and a chip in my windshield.

 

Today should have been a good day.  RQS was supposed to leave the hospital and come up here.  But thanks to modern bureaucracy, she's stuck in the hospital for another night.

- - - - - -

I'm writing this post two days before Thanksgiving.  On Monday, RQS went to the doctor for some blood work, and ended up in the emergency room due to high potassium levels.  Although she was stabilized by morning, she was caught in a bureaucratic nightmare.  Both the doctors and nurses told her that she'd be going home today.  But the fates didn't get the message.

Around 9 am, RQS was told (for the first time) that she'd be going home by the afternoon.  Noon came and went, and she was told that she'd be out of the hospital before dinner.  Dinner came and went, and RQS was about to lose her cool for the third time. 

"I was told I'd be going home.  Why haven't I been discharged yet?"

The nurse on duty could only say that she was sorry, and gave the usual line of BS.  RQS demanded to see a supervisor, and found out a little more.  The medicine that works for her is expensive, and the hospital couldn't give RQS a supply without authorization from her drug formulary.  AARGH! 

"Why couldn't this have been prioritized during the day?" 

"Why has everyone been telling me that I'd be going home today?"  

"Why am I being treated like a cog in a machine, instead of a person with feelings?"

She had many more questions that couldn't be answered, and the supervisor had no power to do anything for her, save to say that he'd make a note to the daytime shift to make this a high priority.  BS, MS, and PhD - Bull S**t, More of the Same, and Piled Higher and Deeper.  If she was a VIP, they could have moved mountains for her.  But she is not.  She was breaking down on the phone.

- - - - - -

Now that we had no confidence that RQS would be discharged the day before the holiday, I decided to cancel the holiday dinner we planned at a local restaurant.  Then, I went to the supermarket, and my car's windshield got hit by a stone.  Now, I have to go to Safelite to get the windshield fixed before the bitter cold sets in.

I can't wait until the holiday is over and we can get back to normal....

If we only could have known what the day would bring.

 

As I write this, RQS is being admitted into the hospital for complications related to her potassium levels. You can only imagine how I felt when I heard the news.  But first....

- - - - - -

Today started out being a very nice day.  The sun was out, and we had a nice walk to my car before dropping her off at the local subway station.  I went on my way home, and she went on her way to the doctor's office to get some blood work done.  By the time I got home and started to relax, I got a call from RQS.  And this is when the day soured.

RQS told me that the doctors were holding her for a second test.  And again, her potassium levels were high enough to send her to the emergency room.  Now, I started to get worried for two reasons.  First, I want RQS to be around for a quite a few years, so any illness worries me.  Second, we had reservations for a Thanksgiving dinner that might have to be cancelled.  Too bad that I couldn't have stayed on Long Island and returned to a parking spot near her house, so that I could pick up stuff and deliver it to her.

Later in the evening, RQS sent me a message that she was being admitted to the hospital.  This meant that I'd have to be ready to bring her a change of clothes, a cell phone charger, some books, and other things that I can't remember at the moment.  Hopefully, she'll only need the change of clothes to go home when I see her.

- - - - - -

You can only guess how hectic my day is going to be tomorrow....

The only reason we left the house was to move the car.

 

RQS lives on a street with Alternate Side of the Street parking.  When I arrived on Friday, I parked on the wrong side of the street for short term convenience, knowing that I'd have to move my car again if I wanted to stay over until Monday morning.  Well, Sunday came, and I planned to stay over.

Around 3:30 pm, we went out to move the car.  It was in front of the building next door, and I had to move it to an opposite side of the street.  (Her side is no parking on Monday/Thursday mornings, while the other side is no parking on Tuesday/Friday mornings.)  We got very lucky.  There was a good open spot right around the corner.  So, I parked there before we headed to the supermarket.

The area of Queens we were in borders Brooklyn, and this is one of many neighborhoods in NYC where per-consolidation street grids clash.  The bus route that RQS takes to the subway was established when trolleys ran between Brooklyn and Queens, and had to be changed slightly when some awkward intersections were taken off the street grid.  As a result, the main bus route that takes us to a key subway station makes a strange zig-zag before it crosses Myrtle Avenue.  For us, we didn't need to do the zig-zag, as we could walk along the path the road once took and cross Myrtle Avenue without problems, on our way to the supermarket.

The Ridgewood, Glendale and Bushwick neighborhoods are undergoing ethnic change.  Gone are the days when both Ridgewood and Glendale were German neighborhoods, although some traces of this still remain in a few stores which were founded during that era.  Now, the Spanish speaking community has moved into some of the blocks while others are being gentrified.  Gone are the days when one could rent a 2 bedroom apartment for under $2,000.  Given the going rate in RQS's area, I don't know how any newcomers can afford to live there.  But I digress.

We reached the supermarket and picked up some things to have with our leftovers meal that evening.  We had a sweet tooth for Ice Cream Sandwiches, so we picked up some Klondike Cookies & Cream.  Then, we picked up an apple pie before walking back to RQS's place.  Sadly, neither of these items were to our liking.  We prefer Fat Boy's Ice Cream Sandwiches to Klondike's.  And the apple pie was best left forgotten, the brand never to be purchased again.

Were the leftovers good?  Yes.  Was it worth staying over an extra night?  Of course.  But, do I wish I found a spot on the right side of the street on Friday?  YES!!!!  Both of us would rather have stayed in bed until evening.  But if we had done so, I would have had to leave for home that night.

Lunch with RQS's friend.

RQS and I haven't been to this restaurant in a while.  And it's always a treat going here.  This time, we went with RQS's friend, spending the better part of the afternoon with her.

- - - - - -

The day began with neither of us wanting to get out of bed.  It was cold the night before, and we were comfy under the covers when we woke up.  Our friend would be coming around 12:30 pm - 1 pm, and we didn't want to make her wait for us.  So both of rushed to get showered and dressed, and we were ready just as the friend got to RQS's door.

Our friend, let's call her J for now, arrived and we proceeded to chat for a few minutes before summoning an Uber.  One catch - the Uber arrived in less than a minute after summoning.  So RQS ended locking her door as J was getting into the car.  15 minutes later, we were at Zum Stammtisch and ready to feast.  However, we had to wait another 10 minutes for a table to be cleared for us before sitting down.

Once seated, we took our time to order, and then the food arrived.  I enjoyed some herring in cream before my jagerschnitzel arrived.  After lunch, we ordered dessert, and I had some warm strudel topped with ice cream.  No one rushed us, and we had time for a leisurely lunch and post meal discussion.  We then returned to RQS's apartment until J's friend came to pick her up.

What I didn't mention so far is that J is visually impaired, and that she uses Ubers to get around instead of Access-a-Ride (AAR).  I can't blame her, as AAR isn't that reliable.  (This is a well known issue among the visually impaired community.)  None of us wanted to take buses on a cold and blustery day, so we used Ubers to get to the restaurant.  On the whole, it was a very nice day, and I hope that the 3 of us can get together again soon. (And I hope we'll be able to tell J about my alter ego as well.)

Game Night w. "Short Vicki"

 

I had no energy today.  Although I woke up early for a bio-break, I got back under the covers until 11 am or so.  And then killed time until evening came.

But first....

My original plans were to take advantage of this gloomy day to do some laundry.  About the only productive task I took care of was to separate the laundry into two loads: Whites and Colors.  I simply didn't want to get dressed to do anything that would take me outside my apartment.

Eventually, 4 pm came around, and I received a message from Vicki #2 ("Short Vicki") suggesting that we get together for a "Paint and Sip" near her place.  I noted that I was going to my bi-weekly game night and volunteered to check if she could come along.  After checking with the hostess, I gave the thumbs up to Vicki, and then proceeded to get ready to leave the apartment.

It was raining when I left the apartment, and I was glad that I was wearing leggings under my dress. But I still had to eat.  So I decided to try out The Halal Guys in Yonkers.  This was a big mistake.  The food was not up to the same taste quality as the other Halal joint further up the road.  So I finished my plate and made a note NOT to go there again.

Although I got to game night a little before 8 pm, I wasn't late for any games.  The one game we played, I enjoyed, as it didn't require much brain power.  We chatted a bit after the game, and then we all left earlier than usual.  This was just as well, as I barely made it home in time for a much delayed bio-break.

At least, I knew my GI-Tract is working well....

We delivered bad news today

 

Now that it's public, I can talk about things a little more than I could in the past.  My co-op is going to have a significant maintenance hike, and none of us are happy about it.

- - - - - - -

As much as I wanted to go out as Marian today, it made much more sense to go out as Mario, as I had a special co-op board meeting open to shareholders.  We planned to prepare shareholders for next year's rate hike, and introduce the new management company to our shareholders.  Things changed a little, as the new company didn't attend the meeting - and I think the co-op's attorney was happy about that.  

The meeting started at 6 m, and our board's president informed us about what was going on, giving us the low down before the old site representative and our shareholders arrived. All too soon, people started arriving, and we couldn't speak openly any more.

Once everyone was in the room, the co-op president opened the meeting, telling the attending shareholders about the rate increase.  And then, the soon to be ex site manager took over, telling attendees the story about how we got into this mess. (I won't go into details here, but I'd say that what we were told is partly truth and partly fiction.)  After that, the floor was open to questions from the audience.

One shareholder stood out - he kept dropping the name of one politician as if that fellow could do things for us.  He can't.  Insurance companies are free to set commercial rates and only issue policies to firms that meet their underwriting criteria.  Others had more reasonable questions, and we responded with what we knew - we're waiting for our mortgage holder to approve this policy, so that the forced coverage policy we have can be dropped, saving us money.

I was glad that the meeting was over by 8 pm.  There is more that I have to talk about with the co-op president, but I won't go into that here.

The study is over, and I have received my compensation

 

How many of you have been in an MRI machine?  How many of you have been "perfectly healthy" when going into an MRI machine for a brain scan?

- - - - - - -

The official purpose of this study was to see how mental performance can be improved by playing games designed to exercise certain mental skill sets.  At the start of this study, I took a preliminary skills test, then drove to Queens to have my brain scanned.  

Going into an MRI requires that one's body be devoid of metals which could be dislodged by extreme magnetic fields.  So, I had to remove the studs from my ears beforehand, and then only wear a hospital gown when being slid into the machine.  Once one puts noise cancelling earmuffs on, one's head is locked into place.  Then one is slid into the machine, and the "fun"takes place for the next 15 minutes.  One can't scratch an itch, blow one's nose, or otherwise deal with minor discomforts while being bombarded by loud banging noises from outside.  Thank god that one must wear the earmuffs while in the MRI machine, as one would be deafened without them.

This took place 3 months ago, and I knew what to expect upon my return.  What I didn't expect is how I'd feel when coming out of the machine.   But I digress.  Around 12:45 pm, I left RQS's place and drove to the MRI center in Laurelton, Queens.  Arriving there at 1:30 pm, I walked across the street to get something to drink, and then entered the Radiation Center for my MRI.

After I filled out my paperwork, I went to relieve myself.  And this is where I started to sour on this day, as the sink was clogged and half filled with water.  Although I reported this to staff, it was not fixed by the time I left the place about 1 1/4 hours later.  When I was called for the MRI, I was told to get into a hospital gown - which wasn't there.  It took another 15 minutes to find some new gowns for me to wear. Only then, did I start to get ready to enter the MRI again.

About 10 minutes later, I was slid into the MRI machine and again bombarded with noise for 15 minutes.  This time, my time in the MRI felt like it was quicker than the first time around.  When I was slid out of the machine, I had a hard time sitting up without help, as I had no leverage to sit up properly.  Once in position, I was able to get off the table without help, but my balance was off - I stumbled like a drunk for a minute, and then was perfectly OK.  Weird!  

When I went out to the changing area, there was someone about to change into her hospital gown where my clothes were stored.  So I asked her to hold on for a minute while I fetched my clothes.  And then I got dressed to go home.  As I left the place for the last time, I felt a little sad - I was done with the study, but free to go.

An hour and a half later, I was home.  It'll be nice to use the compensation I received when I decide what to do with it....

I am sickened by petty politics

 

Sarah McBride.  The first transwoman elected to congress.  And the GOP scum is trying to make her life miserable by denying her the right to go to the women's room to relieve herself.  There is no end to the GOP's cruelty.

- - - - - -

Why do I bring up Sarah's name and not the name(s) of the human garbage who'd denied this woman a basic right?  The answer is simple.  The people elected to control DC for the next 2-4 years do not even deserve to be recognized as humans.  So why identify them by name, when they deserve only to be recognized as animals that squeal, bleat, and make noises which have little meaning for people with even a single iota of humanity.

As you can guess, I am angry.  There is nothing I can do about it, save to request that people in GOP districts write to their congress critters and tell them to squash this attempt to dehumanize trans people. I live in one of these districts, and will be writing my congress critter shortly.  Please do the same before this woman is victimized by her own "colleagues" for petty political reasons.

It was the end of a weekend, and a long search for a parking spot.

 

All too soon, Monday came and we had to drive down from Croton to RQS's place.  The storage area in my car had stuff from a prior weekend's visit to BJ's that had to get to her apartment.

- - - - - -

Neither of us wanted to get up early today.  But we knew that if we didn't get moving by noon - 1 pm, we'd never get the chance to both stop at Trader Joe's and find a good parking spot.  (Her area of NYC has alternate side of the street parking, and I didn't want to leave her at 7:45 am to avoid parking tickets.) Traffic moved fast, until we reached the bridges.  Both the Whitestone and Throggs Neck bridges were backed up due to lane closures, and it took us more time than usual to get into Queens from the Bronx.

Once in Queens, we had no trouble making it to Trader Joe's for a shopping run.  I picked up some candy for early Xmas gifts, while RQS stocked up on needed goods. Next, we were off to RQS's place where we stopped to unload my car and get stuff into her apartment. And then, the fun began.  When hunting for a parking spot, one has to zig-zag through the streets until an acceptable spot is found.  Today, I had to find a spot on the Westbound side of the street - and this took longer than expected.  First, I made my usual loop down the street for two blocks until I could reverse direction on an adjacent street and continue my search.  After completing most of the first loop through the neighborhood, we encountered a problem: Two ambulances blocked the street for an emergency call, when they had open space to park their vehicles.  I was pissed to say the least - especially when none of the personnel seemed in a hurry to do what they came to do.

After a few minutes, both the car behind me and I backed up, going the wrong way on a one way street, escaping the defacto dead end street.  We were lucky to have done so when we did, as there was a bus about to come up the street, and we would have been boxed in by it.  Yet, we escaped the blockage, and circled through the neighborhood until we found a spot 3 blocks away from RQS's place.

- - - - - -

After dinner, I had to sign on for a closing session for the study in which I participated.  While RQS kept busy in one room, I took the test to see how my skills may have improved via directed game play. I feel a little strange, as my part in this study is almost over.  Tomorrow will be my MRI in Queens, and then it's over. 

A trip to Uncasville

 

I wasn't planning on driving that much this weekend, but an invite from CCS got us out to Eastern Connecticut Saturday night.  Instead of sitting at home and wondering what to do, we drove to Mohegan Sun to meet my friends for dinner, followed by both Gladys Knight and the O'Jays in concert.

- - - - - -

RQS and I relaxed most of the morning, and realized that it was 12:30 pm before we got moving to get showered, dressed, and out the door. We had planned to leave Croton around 1:30 pm to have adequate slack time to reach Mohegan Sun with time to spare.  However, this was not the case.  We left 30 minutes later, and it took all of 2 1/2 hours to get there.  Luckily, we were not traveling in the opposite direction, as the Southbound traffic was jammed up throughout most of Connecticut.

Reaching the casino complex, I was impressed at how big it had become.  Years ago, I remember coming here when only the first of the casino wings was open.  The last time I was at the casino, the third wing was under construction.  This time, all four wings were open, and one could need a road map to find his/her way around.

Our friends were waiting for us at Pepe's pizza, and we proceeded to order our pies. 30 minutes later, they were ready, and we proceeded to feast and chat.  This would be the second time I met CCS's husband, and the first time RQS would meet CCS with her husband.  CCS had mentioned my co-op's issues to her husband (he's a lawyer) and he gave me some information I can pass on to our board's president.

Around 7 pm, we walked over to the casino's theater.  CCS and her husband received 4 free tickets to the performance as perks for their gambling efforts.  I have no idea how much they gamble, but they get free rooms at the casinos as perks, and other goodies as well.  But we consider myself fortunate to be there as their guests for this show.

Gladys Knight came on first.  For a woman in her 80's, she still puts on a good show. However, one can see that age has taken its toll on her body, as she used assistance in getting on and off stage.  After 45 minutes, her set ended, and we had 30 minutes to wait until the O'Jays came on.  By this time, I should have stretched my legs and gone to the women's room.  But no, this T-Gal stayed in her seat, allowing her legs to start aching.

Next were the O'Jays.  One of the original singers had passed away, and this was noted by the group as part of their performance.  And then they got on with their music.  It was good, but not the music I remembered as a youth.  As expected, their closing number was "Love Train", and they did not fail to get the audience moving to the beat.

The show ended around 10 pm, and we relaxed in the theater waiting for the crowd to disperse.  Three of us had to rush to the ladies' room, and I was impressed by how clean it was - even after a show, when one would expect it to be a mess.  Then if was off to the pastry shop to have a bite to eat before we were to go home.  30 minutes later, we left CCS and her husband, and made a "donation" to the casino before finally leaving for home.

I said that we'd stop at the first service area on I-95 we reached.  While RQS was taking a bio-break, I could fill the car with gas.  This was not to be.  The gas station had turned off its pumps for its weekly refresh, and I wasn't in the mood to wait until 12:30 am to get gas.  So, it was off to the next service area - 15 minutes away.  And here is where I filled up and stretched my legs before driving another 100 miles to get home.

We reached home just before 2 am, and were exhausted.  It was a long day, and both of us were grateful for friendships old and new.

 

Dreams

 

For those of you who don't know me that well, I rarely dream when I sleep.  This could be due to an inability to go into deep sleep.  Or, it could be something else I've had for ages.  As long as I feel healthy, I don't care much, as a good sleep can be quite restful.

Years ago, I fell asleep on a train and felt that I was having a conversation with my late wife.  I felt wide awake and totally aware of my circumstances, and this dream made me feel quite good - until I asked one question: How could I be having this conversation when you passed away?  Then, POOF! she was gone.  

I've changed a lot over the years, and I can say that a lot of the time I've been a total jerk without realizing it.  Other times, I realized it after it was too late and couldn't stop.  And this leads to a dream I had recently.

Now for some background.

I met this couple at an AOL widows/widowers gathering about 26-27 years ago.  They eventually got married, and the gentleman adopted his wife's son.  This son has a visual impairment which will prevent him from ever driving.  As such, he will likely live near a big city for the rest of his life, due to transportation issues.  The day that the couple adopted their other son, their house caught on fire, and they were living in temporary digs for a year while their house was rebuilt.

At the time this was going on, I was dating Ex-GF-M, a woman who was morbidly obese. We planned to go to the couple's celebration of being able to return home, but I got the date and time wrong - but still arrived at the party late.  I didn't have the self esteem to simply leave my to be ex at the time - this is a big problem when a person has an unhealthy relationship glued together by a mutual addiction (food).  But I was aware of it, and was trying to get up the gumption to leave.

Well, I mentioned this to the couple (who were both obese as well), and was later cut off from being Facebook friends.   Could this be because I was a jerk in other ways without knowing it?  Could it have been because they saw my rejection of my then GF as an insult to them?  Who Knows?

Now to the present.

I have lost contact with this couple, and wouldn't mind being in loose contact again. The other night, I had a dream involving this couple.  They hadn't been on my mind for ages.  Could my subconscious be trying to tell me something?

So I wonder?  Should I try to reach out to this couple?  Should I address the elephant in the room from the past?  Again, who knows?  For all I know, it could be a signal that something bad has happened to them - but with no real evidence that this could be so.  Yet, I'd like to get some closure on the past.   And I'd like to apologize for being a jerk when I knew them.

Lunch with CCS (a quick post)

 

CCS and I got together for lunch today.  However, we changed the original location for lunch so that she could have more time for lunch, and still make an appointment near to the restaurant.

- - - - - -

Lately, I've been waking up early and not falling back to sleep after a early morning Bio-break. As a result, I wasn't necessarily interested in getting out of bed or having lunch.  But I did so, and got to Briarcliff Manor at 12:30 - and still was there a minute or two late.

Lunch was good, as my Gyro had enough meat and salad stuff in it to be tasty.  I should have had the rice with the gyro, as there was too much greenery on the plate to enjoy properly.  We caught up on what was going on in each other's lives, and she had a pair of tickets to offer for two Motown acts performing at Mohegan Sun.  So, I contacted RQS afterwards, and she said yes to rescheduling things we had planned for the weekend.  (And I was looking forward to a German dinner at Zum Stammtisch.)

- - - - - -

After lunch, I called my doctors office to get a prescription renewal.  (I'll have to call back for a yearly exam.)  Then it was home for a nap.  Although I planned to do laundry tonight, I didn't wake up in time to do it before the 10 pm deadline.  That'll be another task for the morning.

Lunch and Dinner with friends, interrupted by a walk around a mall.

 

Today was marked by two meals out.  Lunch was with MSJ (My friend from the imaging firm I once worked for) and Dinner was with Vicki #1.  I'm lucky I had extra money to spend, as I have another lunch scheduled for tomorrow.

- - - - - -

MSJ and I scheduled today's lunch, so that I could review and comment on her resume. For the most part, it is a good representation of her career, and had few areas needed changing.  The first was was to change her phrasing into

Action → Result

from

Result → Action

This was the easiest thing to do.  But then, we had to figure what could safely be pruned from her resume without significant loss of demonstrated skill sets.  And this forced us to leave in a job or two which she'd like to skip over, and forward fill some dates from self employment to allow her to omit an unwanted job.  Additionally, we changed a reference of a subsidiary to that of a corporate parent, to make her employment appear as she worked for fewer organizations.  

Hopefully, the edits I expect that she'll be making will help her get a new job.  We've scheduled another lunch to review her edits.

- - - - - -

Vicki called just as I was going to spend a little time at Woodbury Commons (outlet mall) to do some browsing.  Although the trip to the mall was a waste of time and car mileage, I was able to chat with Vicki for a while and schedule dinner for the evening.

While at the outlet mall, I found nothing interesting to buy.  Everything was either overpriced status brands, or clothing which would not fit me.  As I was walking back to my car, the front part of my right shoe separated from its base.  Since these were cheap shoes, I decided to trash them when I got home instead of fixing the sole with glue. To kill a little more time, I decided to write up meeting minutes for last night's co-op board meeting, and rest a little before going to the diner to meet Vicki.

- - - - - -

We met at the local diner, and both of us had the chicken.  She had grilled chicken breasts, while I had the roast.  Both were good.  And we grumbled about the short term mentality of the American public, and how America's greatest snake oil salesman will  likely hurt people like us.  It'll take a while for our anger to burn itself out.  But then, can you blame us given the radical changes he promises.  To make things worse, he will likely never be punished for the crimes he committed, as his party refuses to discipline him.

We left the diner around 8:45 pm.  From there, I took a little drive (adding more needless mileage to my car), and saw how Route 9A was being diverted in both directions onto other roads.  Needless to say, I took different side roads to get back home for the night. 

PS: One thing Vicki noted: When I'm with her, I defer to an alpha as a cisgender female tends to do.  When RQS is around, she defers to me in a similar way - regardless of my gender presentation. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Enjoy your turkey with family and friends. I'll be back tomorrow.

Seeing RO for a Bacon Cheeseburger

 

 

I looked nothing like this today. It would have been nice to go out in a nice dress, but the weather was too cool to wear anything other than a trouser like garment.  But I had to go out - I had to drop RQS off at the train station, then I had to drive to Parsippany, NJ to have lunch with RO.

- - - - - -

RQS and I got up early, and we were out the door in time for her to make a 10:42 am train.  From there, I drove out to Parsippany where I was running 30 minutes early.  So, I decided to run into Home Sense and do shopping.  20 minutes later, a new broom and dustpan found their way into the back of my car, and then I was off to see RO.

RO and I were meeting at one of the last Fuddruckers in the Northeast.  I miss this chain, as they always had great hamburgers.  However, due to corporate takeovers and mismanagement, the chain has shrunk to a fraction of its former size. Luckily, there is one near the halfway point between RO's place and mine  She was in the parking lot when I arrived, and we walked in together for lunch.

Although this outlet has seen its better days, it still serves up a good burger - but slowly.  RO ordered her burger and got it quickly,  As for me, it took a long while to cook my burger - and I ordered mine within 60 seconds of RO.  Eventually, we sat down to eat, and we caught up on each other's lives.  Both of us were scarred from the political polarization going on, and I feel I might have talked too much about things.  She's retreating from things that annoy her in a different way that I am doing.  So, I hope that I didn't say too much to upset her.

Eventually, we had to part.  But we didn't set a date for a next get together, as holiday season is coming up.  RO drove back to Pennsylvania, while I drove home with an unproductive stop at Lane Bryant in Paramus.  While driving home, I started getting sleepy.  So I ended up pulling off the road before getting home and napped for 30 minutes before making the last few miles home.

- - - - - -

A little later, I opened up my co-op's board meeting, and we conducted some important business.  First, we interviewed an applicant to purchase shares in the co-op.  And then we met with our soon to be former site representative.  None of us were really happy about the things being discussed, but they had to be discussed without delay.  Were we happy about things?  No.  But we did get what we wanted to do done before ending the meeting.