Monday, January 25, 2021

Another Monday, another walk in the park.

 


If it weren't for the fact that I want to build up a better friendship with YGD, I'd have passed on going to a local park for a hike today.  My sleep patterns are totally screwed up, and I've found that I've been catching a few hours of sleep at random times through the day.  Since I haven't put on my CPAP machine, this sleep is not as good as I'd like it to be.  

With the above being said, I decided to stay awake and see YGD near where she lives - in Greenwich, CT.  I was pleasantly surprised at how many places are available in her neck of the woods for easy hiking, as this was the second place in Greenwich we've hiked.  I was even more surprised to find out that she does most of her hiking in the Hudson Valley.  Given enough hikes over the years, I'd bet that she'd have bumped into my ex girlfriend on one of those hikes.  But, without me trying to connect the two, there is no reason that this should be a problem for me.

As we started out on today's hike, I almost twisted my ankle and needed medical attention.  This is the one thing I didn't need to happen, as I'm still fighting with my insurance company to get my coverage straightened out. However, I was able to recover my footing in a way that didn't cause me to hurt myself. But it did made me hyper aware  of how I was walking for the totality of the hike.

If this were a normal day out in the woods, we might have gone somewhere for a bite to eat.  However, with the pandemic spiking lately, eating indoors is not highly recommended.  So we agreed to get together next week (weather permitting), and will look for a nice place to walk before then. 

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Someone I know was getting her Covid-19 shot. I wish it were me!

 

 

Yes, another person I know was scheduled to get her Covid-19 shot today.  The way things are going, I'll be among the last of the people I know to get the shots I need to start living a "normal" life again.  

- - - - - -

It seems as if every time I chat with TCL, and I make a mildly negative comment about something (though I'm doing well) she asks why I am complaining?  To give you an example of this, I made a negative comment on the paperwork my brother and I will need to fill out to claim some of the money left in my dad's estate.  When I made the comment, I was thinking of my dad, wishing he was still with us and that the money was still his.  She focused on the paperwork as being a small price I would pay to have some more money in my bank account, so I shouldn't complain about paperwork.  The reality is, most of us complain a little about the minor inconveniences we have to deal with in life.  If these were big problems, most of us would act upon them as best we could.  Minor complaints seem to be the way we try to make ourselves a little bit more comfortable while dealing with the little bumps along life's journey.

In my case, I have a minor item to "complain" about today. Since my friend had her Covid-19 shot scheduled for today, it got in the way of me seeing her.  Kvetch, Kvetch, Kvetch....   Not seeing her today may be a form of a blessing, as we were thinking of walking around Chinatown a little bit.  Did I really want to bring my car into Lower Manhattan?  Not really. But I would have thought about doing so to have some time with her.

If I had known what this day would be like, I'd have considered going out as Marian.  But today ended up being a Mario day. Could I change into Marian?  Yes.  But I might as well do a load or two of laundry and relax for a while before going out again....

 

 

 

 

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Saturday, January 23, 2021

Mid January Odds and Ends

 

 

Sometimes, I don't have much to say about any one topic, but I'm trying to keep my readers up to date on things with a post.  This is one of those posts....

- - - - - -

I've been having problems with my health insurance.  My membership number changed, and the paperwork to fix my problem has been taking longer than expected to be processed.  Today, I reached out to the company once more, and someone placed my issue on a high priority queue.  Hopefully, I'll have the bulk of the matter resolved by Monday, and the only thing left to do will be to connect the membership to a new email account AND to get things set up properly for my mail order medications.

- - - - - -

My brother and I are closing out accounts my dad had before he died.  They don't amount to much money, but they will provide us with much needed money for luxuries.  In my case, this money will help pay for a vacation or two.  In my brother's case, it will pay for a delayed trip to see my niece and her (to be) husband in London.  We had a minor problem with one of these accounts, as it got locked when my dad died. But we expect to have the money in our "grubby" little hands soon.

- - - - - -

I finally have my auto registration in hand.  There is only one more thing I need to do with it: replace the old sticker on my windshield with a new one.  Of course, I'll drive down to see my brother to see if he has the scraping tool needed to get the old sticker off the windshield - it's a perfect excuse to see him before driving over to see FH.

- - - - - -

My friend from my Thursday night gaming group has taken the plunge and is setting up her own online game night starting Wednesday evenings.  I think I'll have another something to look forward to while locked down inside, waiting out the pandemic.

- - - - - -

Next week, I'll be getting together with another of my friends who knows me only as Marian. It'll be nice to see her once again. But with the pandemic raging, this might be the last time I meet anyone other than FH, YGD, Vicki #1 , my brother and his wife for a while.  Of the people in my circle, I'm one of the few that is under 65 AND doesn't have a reason to be an early recipient of the coronavirus vaccine.


 

Friday, January 22, 2021

Thoughts about the Pandemic so far

 

 

OK, it's been a bad year, and I expect that we'll have a bad winter to endure before springtime brings the promise of normalcy returning to our lives.  Until then, we will need to hunker down as best we can.

- - - - - -

When pandemic first started, the general public didn't know what was happening, nor did any of us know what best to do to stay safe.  I can remember one meetup group holding large meetings when the government was trying to limit the size of gatherings just before New York's lock down.  For the next 6 weeks or so, most of us rarely ventured out of our houses, socializing only via Zoom meetups.  Schools hastily figured out ways to hold classes remotely, with mixed results.  Businesses figured out ways to allow employees to work from home.  Other businesses were forced to close because they required in person presences. There were so many things that happened at this time, that I don't think any of us will remember all the salient details. During these days, many of us lost loved ones, myself included. And most of us were totally afraid of catching the virus, as if it was a terminal disease.  Yet, only 2% of the people contracting the virus in its early days died.  The other 98% has mixed results with their recoveries. 

Sometime in late spring, we started to develop a new normal, as people started to socialize outdoors. I can still remember when the road leading to Croton Dam Park had people parked on both sides, walking 1/2 mile or so to be able to enjoy the outdoors in the park.  As for me, I started to drive further North, so that I could walk rail trails in relative peace.  Meetup groups started to get together for outdoor dining (and other activities), allowing people to get together in a reasonably safe environment. New York City streets were invaded by outdoor dining patios, and the public took to the streets in a new and pleasant way. New York State (and its neighbors) took the pandemic seriously, and people were willing to make the sacrifices needed to reduce the infection rate.

Unfortunately, many people in the more rural areas did not act as if the pandemic was their problem.  They acted as if the pandemic would never affect them - and it did.  We started seeing a second wave of the pandemic affect the country, this time causing previously "safe" areas to suffer as we did in New York months earlier.

Eventually, autumn came, and outdoor activities started to wind down.  This is when I started to fear that we would have a winter where the pandemic would replace the flu as our major medical concern.  People in urban areas were mostly comfortable wearing masks.  However, due to a pig-headed president, mask wearing and the virus itself became a political issue.  One could usually tell a person's political tribe by looking at a person's face - Democrats usually wore masks, while Republicans often did not.  People gradually became afraid of indoor dining (where it was allowed), and we became more and more isolated.  

One of the problems exposed by the pandemic was that people have a strong need to be with others.  We have social gatherings to fulfill this need, holiday celebrations, weddings, and funerals.  Regularly scheduled religious services also fill this need, and many of the people most serious about their religious activities sued the government to loosen the rules limiting social gatherings.  Some of the more orthodox simply ignored the rules meant to protect them by holding clandestine ultra large weddings and funerals, helping to spread the virus among large groups of people.  Tradition was more important than public safety.  Eventually, holiday season came around, and people made sure that they would not miss more time with their families. So they booked their Thanksgiving and Christmastime flights, and started a third wave of this virus.  People's need to be with family was more important than being safe.   

Now that winter is here, we are experiencing a nationwide spike in infections which makes what we saw last spring almost look benign.  Most of us are "pandemic tired" and feel that need to be with people.  One of my close friends was just diagnosed as having the virus. And I'm very glad that her symptoms (and her husband's) have been relatively mild.  I'm grateful that we didn't get together when she could have infected me.  But how long will any of us be able to stay safe?  Vaccinations have finally started, but are going slowly.  How many of us will let down our guards when we've been vaccinated?  Will the virus have mutated enough that current vaccines lose their effectiveness?  It's going to be a ride through the unknown, and I'm hoping we don't get too complacent because we're starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

 

Thursday, January 21, 2021

Lately, I've been falling behind with my posts.

 

 

No, the winter hasn't been getting in the way of things.  It's been the pandemic.  When one has nothing to do all day, it's easy to do nothing.  In many ways, it feels like the snow has locked all of us inside for the winter, save for the fact that there is no snow on the ground.

- - - - - -

It's been a long while since I've been to Provincetown. And I'd love to have the legitimate reason to be there on a day like this, when I could see one of my favorite places filled only with locals.  No, I don't want to get stuck there in bad weather.  Instead, I simply want to see the town as only locals see it - without any of the tourists around.

There are so many places I'd like to visit without tourists.  If I were an Italian, I might be able to see Venice without the tourist invasions which befoul the city. Supposedly, due to the pandemic reducing commercial activities, the waters in that city are becoming cleaner and less reminiscent of a cesspool.  In the United States, however, the pandemic has made it impossible to travel to some places on my bucket list.  For example, I was considering taking a repositioning cruise from New York City to Seattle via the Panama Canal.  The early days of the pandemic made that impossible.  Next, I was considering taking a Hawaii cruise/tour this past December.  Again, the pandemic squelched that idea.  Now, the same cruise/tour costs over 50% more, as the cruise line is now restricting projected capacity on these vacations.

If I stay healthy and am able to afford it, I will still take similar vacations sometime in the future.  Until then, I expect the days to blur together, forcing me to catch up on my posting when I get around to it. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Thinking about going to a museum.

 

 

The above picture does not do this piece of art justice.  The Dinner Party (by Judy Chicago) is best viewed in person at the Brooklyn Museum.  Like most great works of art, it is best appreciated close up and in-person with appropriate attention being given to the details which are not put into perspective in photographic reproductions.

- - - - - -

I miss going into NYC to meet up with my niece and to go to a museum.  She is now locked down in London, and isn't going anywhere anytime soon.  As soon as things open up for her, she will do the equivalent of going to a "marriage mill" in our country, and get the legal procedure done that will allow her fiancee and her to live as man and wife.  But I digress....

Recently, I talked with a NYC resident, and she told me of the relative desertion of the NYC subway system.  She implied that it is much more comfortable to travel in the subway during the pandemic than it was before the pandemic - enough people have abandoned mass transit to allow many people to maintain appropriate social distancing underground.

Given that my vaccination priority is about to be called soon, I figure that it would be a stupid thing for me to catch the virus by letting down my guard, than if I stayed in my bubble for 2-3 months more.  But who knows?  There is a certain craving that can't be satisfied by staying alone in my room.  And sometimes, I feel it's worth the risk to start living my life again.

Knowing me, I probably won't go into NYC on my own, as I don't want to pay the price to park my car in Manhattan.  Could it be that my general frugality has been a reason I'm still alive? That would be an interesting thought....

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Going outdoors in the cold - BRRRR!!!!

 

It was a little over 2 years ago when I took the above picture.  And, boy was it cold!  Although today's outdoor activity involved a walk in a local park, I was still a bit hesitant to go outdoors in this weather.  However, I used a cisgender woman's trick - wearing a pair of tights under my trousers to keep warm in this weather.

- - - - - -

However, 1 pm came, and I had to make it to Rockefeller State Park in time to meet my friend, YGD, from my Thursday night gaming group.  I don't know if any of my readers have had the chance to walk through this park.  But it is a nice place to visit on a quiet weekday, as it is easy to maintain social distancing and have a nice walk.  Plus, during the winter, they don't charge parking fees on weekdays.

We started our walk at the main parking lot, and made it up to Stone Barns Center before turning back to our cars. I was surprised that I needed to stop along the way, but I think it's because I'm not used to going up and down hills.  The slightly extra effort to keep moving showed me how out of shape I am.  Yet, I kept moving after catching my breath.  (No, I wasn't gasping for air.  Instead, I just didn't want to elevate the stress level I was putting my body through.  I was comfortable, and didn't want to feel like I was making a strenuous effort to maintain a specific pace.)  A little bit under an hour after we started, we got back to our starting point and chatted for a while before going our separate ways.  Hopefully, we will be able to do this again next week.

- - - - - -

After I left the park, it was off to the supermarket.  $60 later, I was on my way home, hoping to find enough room in the ice box for all the stuff I bought.  Once I was done with everything, I realized that I had to go out again - there were books waiting for me at the local library for me to pick up.  For once, the important activities of my day took place before 8 pm for a change....

 

Monday, January 18, 2021

The way I'm going, I'll learn to hibernate like a bear before this is over.

 

I no longer have this ID card, as my job with the census ended 2 1/2 months ago.  But it brings back good memories of a time where having a job kept me out of trouble.  Now that the pandemic is entering into a new phase of hunkering down, it makes sense for me to remember the good times while waiting for my turn to get vaccinated.

It's easy to get a little bit jealous when one sees her friends starting to get their vaccinations.  With all but one exception (my brother, a first responder), everyone who has his/her arm stuck has been a healthcare professional.  Even the woman I've been seeing is scheduled to have her arm stuck this week.

- - - - - -

You might be asking, "Why is this woman talking about hibernation?"   Well, I've been finding that I now have very irregular sleep patterns, and one day is blending into the next.  Today, it took a phone call from a friend to wake me up in advance of a co-op board meeting that I set up.  Thankfully, I wasn't too late for the meeting.  Although I'm usually awake through the night, I'm finding it easier and easier to sleep during the day. Without a job to go to, or social events to attend, it is very easy to lose track of time.  The other day, TCL had to ask me what day of the week it was - a question that neither of us would have to ask when we were both working and had social activities to attend.

The job at the census bureau was one I was thankful to have.  The tasks weren't that difficult, and the pay was good. Although I'll never have an opportunity like that again, I've started to apply to organizations for work.  Hopefully, one of them will come through, as it would be nice to have a few extra dollars coming in, as well as a reason for me to reset my circadian rhythm each week...

- - - - - -

I may have mentioned that one of my blog's readers was in bad health.  Several of us bloggers who know this reader noted that we had no way to find out whether this reader had passed away or not.  None of us knew the real name of this reader, and had no way to contact this person's wife.  Given that I'm all over certain parts of the internet, I stumbled onto this site: http://ifidie.org/learn that may be of use to our TG community. If our friend had used this site, her friends would receive an email within 30 days of her passing.  I plan to start using this site soon.





 

Sunday, January 17, 2021

It was a boring day today, and I'd have rather stayed home.


The above dress was a bit too small for me to wear.  But if it were a size larger, I'd have kept it because it made my body look like it had hips.  Alas, this was not the case, and I only lost $20 in the process of buying the dress in one of ModCloth's special deals..

- - - - - -

I was originally scheduled to meet up with FH, and go walking in Manhattan around 4:30 pm.  However, FH contacted me to let me know she was backed up with work and to ask if I could meet her at 6:30-7:00 instead.  So I ended up spending another few hours watching some TV before running down to FH's place with some food from Boston Market.

Did I really want to run down there today?  No.  But until things open up in the spring, it's nice to have someone I can hang out with.  I just wonder what it would have been like had my ex not broken up with me.  Alas, that's road not traveled, and one I'll always have some curiosity about.

Saturday, January 16, 2021

By the time you read this, the unbelievable may have happened.


If it weren't for the historical plaque and the bench, one might not realize that this well maintained hillside was the site of an event that defined a generation - Woodstock.  Over 500,000 people gathered on farm land owned by Max Yasgur to enjoy music in conditions marginally better than WW1 soldiers "enjoyed" in their trenches. Although the crowd is long gone, this is still a site that Baby Boomers should visit at least once - especially when music is being performed in the "Shed" at the bottom of this hill.

- - - - - -

Each generation has an event that helps define the times in which it lived.  For my parents' generation, Pearl Harbor day would set the path that people of this generation would follow for the rest of their lives.  For my generation, the JFK assassination, the Vietnam War, and Woodstock would define a path for our lives. For our children's generation, 9/11 would be the day that they would lose the collective innocence which presumed that we would be safe in our homeland.  However, 2020 (with a spillover into 2021) will likely set the path for a generation or two to come.

Why do I think the events of the past year are so important?  To answer this question, one must understand how Trump has polarized American society.  He has divided and conquered people, using his supporters as Hitler used his - as a mob which could be used to terrorize those that do not pay him tribute and allegiance. He has hijacked a major political party and made its former elite afraid of losing its remaining power to people favored by its "king". So when given the choice of doing the right thing and deposing this "king" via impeachment and conviction, they failed to do so at the beginning of 2020. Our president wasn't chastened by the rebuke from one chamber of our country's legislature.  Instead he was emboldened.  If he didn't make one mistake, he would have likely won reelection in November.

Of course, his mistake was not taking the coming pandemic seriously.  He focused on being elected, and not doing his job when real work was called from a country's leader.  He was not unique in this regard.  But I care more about what happens in America than in Brazil.  When he should have isolated America from the world, he only decided to act against a single country, China.  When he could have encouraged people to isolate themselves and follow CDC guidelines when they had to go out, he mocked the idea of wearing face masks in public to help stop the spread of the virus. So, when Election Day came around, enough people were disenchanted with this man that they voted the president out of office.

Normally, presidents voted out of office go on to lead a productive retirement.  This is not the case for our soon to be former president.  He allegedly committed enough crimes before he took office and while in office that he stood a good chance of going to prison for the rest of his life. So he allegedly orchestrated several plots to overturn the results of the election, none of which were successful.  But the last event is the one where he may have crossed the one line where even his political supporters may have said he went too far.

On January 6th, the electoral college's ballots were supposed to be opened, tallied in a joint session of congress, and the results of the presidential election announced.  However, like his German idol from the first half of the 20th century, he allegedly decided on staging a "Beer Hall Putsch" to take control of the government using emergency powers.  Luckily, the legislative branch of government was able to complete its task and announce that Biden would be sworn in as president 14 days later.

Within a couple of days, the news reports were making it clear that our president committed an act of sedition by encouraging the "protestors" who took over the capitol building, and this motivated Democratic party to demand that the president be removed from office. (Of course, 6 riot related deaths that day gave the president's critics the extra fuel they needed to act.) By the time the weekend ended, it was clear that the Vice President would be forced to invoke authority given to him under the 25th amendment to remove the president from power, or that the Democrats in the House would impeach the president for a second time.  This wasn't the end of it - the Senate did not want to remove the president by the time the weekend ended. It would only be willing to make sure that this man's trial in the Senate would almost be meaningless, as it would take place after he left office.

So with all that historical context in place, now I get to the meat of things....

There have been only 3 impeachment trials, and none of them has resulted in the removal of a president from office. In less than one day, it seems as if the traditional elite of the GOP has decided to take back their party, and may be giving people in the House and Senate the ability to vote their consciences in regard to the president.  No longer does the Senate trial look like it will be meaningless. Instead, it looks more likely that it will be held before the president was scheduled to leave office.  Although the trial may not accomplish much (he may only lose 2 remaining days of his term), it will show that we have it in us to force people in power to do the right thing - albeit, in this case, a day late and a dollar short.

Why is this important?

For the Transgender community, America has de-fanged a person who has been causing us long term harm. For America as a whole, we have shown that our system was barely strong enough to avoid falling to a wannabe dictator.  We have learned that our democratic institutions depend on the good will of our people, and that we need to take an active interest in them to see that they are always there for us.  In short, we have learned we can no longer take many things for granted.  

And what do I think would have been unbelievable?

I never thought it would be possible to have a president so bad, and that we'd have a serious chance of seeing people of good will depose him using tools given to them in the constitution.

So keep your fingers crossed.  The next few days will be a wild ride.



Friday, January 15, 2021

I finally was able to get up before the day was half over.

 

 

For the past couple of weeks (or more), I've been getting up very late in the morning (or, very early in the afternoon).  Once my circadian rhythm got screwed up, it would take a bit of good luck to reset my rhythm.  I had that luck today.

I started out by mentioning luck, as I was up last night watching news coverage of the counting of the electoral votes.  America was very lucky, as the mob was unable to prevent the votes from being counted. We had the additional luck to have people smart enough to cart the unread ballots out of the chamber before the mob got control of the building.  Could you imagine the nonsense Trump would have pulled if the ballots got into the wrong hands and that ad-hoc procedures had to be used?  Even now, I don't trust him to not cause even more trouble on his way out, as he knows his brand is at risk and he can't afford to be labeled as a loser in anything.

Towards the end of the evening, I encountered one fact that will likely destroy Trump after he has left office.  A member of the US Capitol's Police Force died as a result of yesterday's riot.  Since the rioters were encouraged by Trump, it's only a matter of time before law enforcement personnel rebel against him.  Even if he pardons himself successfully (and that will be tested in court), I doubt that he will have their implicit support if he were to attempt a run for the presidency in 2024. 

- - - - - -

With the above being said, I finally made it out in Marian mode today.  I had the time to deal with having too much blood in my caffeine stream, and started the day with a cup of coffee.  After that, I rested a little, and was out the door by noon.

One of the things I wanted to buy is a pair of wide leg trousers.  I decided to drive up to Lane Bryant in Poughkeepsie to try on a pair in the store.  And they seemed to fit well where I needed them to fit.  However, I couldn't buy the pair in the store because I needed a shorter inseam than an average female.  So I went home to buy the trousers online.

On the way home, I found that one of my favorite local restaurants would only accept orders online - they want no one entering the place to place an order during the pandemic.  Instead of making a phone call while in the car, I decided to go across the street and enjoy Mexican food instead of the Japanese food I originally wanted to order.  (I'll place an order for the Japanese place's Seafood Soup some other day.  Right now, I was a little annoyed that they wouldn't take an order, then ask a person to sit in the car.)

Once home, I placed the order for the trousers.  However, I realized that I may have made a mistake on sizing, ordering a size 28 instead of a size 26.  So I may end up buying a similar pair from another online outlet and hope that it fits as well as the pair I tried on in the store, and then return the pair I bought for a refund.

- - - - - -

Although my sleep schedule is still screwed up, I have a hope of a proper reset in the near future.  My need for sleep overruled the caffeine in my system that kept me awake for my Thursday night zoom meetup. I was able to get two quick hours of sleep before waking up, and finishing this entry while at full consciousness.

 

 

 

 

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Politics can be toxic, and today I expected to see a lot of toxicity.

 

As I write this, the electoral college's ballots have started to be read in a joint session of congress, and evidence of Trump's disastrous effects on American politics is evident in what should be another boring session of congress.  All 50 states have confirmed their ballots, and some GOP congressmen and senators are challenging the ballots of the battleground states to show their loyalty to our (thankfully) outgoing president.

In another forum, one of my Facebook friends and I have an occasional discussion regarding Trump.  She has drunk all of the Kool-Aid in her glass, and still desires more.  I find it amazing how she tries to defend Trump (and the GOP) against anything that makes them look bad and the Democratic party look good.  But then, people who have been successfully scammed try to defend the scam, lest they feel like fools in front of others. This is human nature at its worst.

We are seeing the beginning of what could be the breakup of America along political lines, or the beginning of a healing process for this country.  If the latter, many of the people who served to enable Trump and his attacks on our democratic institutions will also need to call out the extremists in their party, and finally hold the populists in check.  And I see that the some of the GOP leadership is being forced to do just this.  Will they be successful?  Only time will tell.

- - - - - -

With the above being said, I can say that I have faith in this country and most of its people. On an individual level, most people are kind and decent people.  However, the human instinct to identify with a family, a tribe, and a nation can cause good people to do evil things.  That is why we need a representative government who will respond to the peoples' needs, but will take the time to think things out.  Today, we're seeing the reasons why America needs a government with built in "circuit breakers", because we will occasionally need a political reset when a major system failure is imminent.

Today's political debates are a perfect example of the need for a reset.  Four years ago, Trump won a hotly contested election.  Many people in New York City and in the global banking community knew him to be a self-centered crook. But people outside these community saw him as a successful businessman, due to his former TV show.  They were bamboozled by the glitzy image he liked to show the public. With untruths running free across the internet, and people choosing to see "news" which only supports their own biases, there was no way a competent political insider could win the 2016 presidential election.  Four years later, after Trump applied a wrecking ball to our government and its political norms, it was time for a change.  And yet, we have two political tribes that are as polarized as ever.  So, we have the need for a reset.

I expect that the next four years will be that political reset.  Biden will likely be the president whose most important priority will be to cool off the passions of the public, so that the 2024 election will be more of a traditional choice of candidates.  Yet, this will not go as far as we need it to go - we need a government that can get needed things done.  America won't be able to heal unless we fix the underlying problems of government. And that means that political gridlock must not be tolerated.  

In 2017-2019, we saw what could happen when radicals from one political party controlled the levers of government. Once the House changed hands in the 2018 election, there was a check and balance on the party in control of government. In the 2020 election, we saw the public throw out a corrupt president.  Yet, they also voted to check the excesses of the party in charge of the House.  We're seeing something good - America as a whole wants moderation in government, and we may just be edging in that direction.

- - - - - -

When I started this entry, I didn't know what was about to happen.  No one, save for security people, should have needed to be prepared for the mob which stormed the capitol building.  These people are criminals, and should be treated as such.  But then, we have a criminal for a president.  And it's time that he be impeached and convicted for removal from office, or that the 25th amendment be used to remove him from office.  Yet, this doesn't address the underlying illness we have in this country - 75% of the GOP loyalists believe Trump's lies.  It will take at least a full generation to deal with this social sickness.

- - - - - -

Why am I writing about politics today?  Well, we are affected by the machinations of those people who we elect to represent us.  The Trump administration has not been friendly to Transgender people, and has acted to take away our rights and privileges.  How many of us remember that it was Trump who acted to expel Transgender people from the military?  How many of us remember his Education department's attacks on Transgender rights?  What about his administration's attack on the census collecting data on the LGBTIQ community?  We must remember the recent past, lest we allow an ignorant populist to get power again, harming us in his/her pursuit of power.







 

 

 

 

 


Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Shopping can be an addiction.

 

There's a part of me that keeps looking for things to add to my wardrobe. But every time I start looking at the usual sites, I find it harder and harder to find something worthwhile to add to my wardrobe.  It's not just because I will need to find room for new garments.  But it is also because I have nothing much to do, and am looking for something to occupy my mind.  I'll bet it was this feeling that tempted my late wife too much, causing her to give in and buy clothes she did not need.

Luckily, I seem to have gotten my fill of actually buying clothes.  It helps that the stores I would go to no longer have a brick and mortar presence.  Otherwise, I'd still be buying new dresses for my closet.  Even so, I will need to replace my wardrobe piece by piece as I lose weight. If I'm lucky, and maintain some sort of discipline, I may get back to wearing a size 18W dress again.

- - - - - -

On other matters....

As has become a habit with me lately, I didn't get much sleep last night.  So I figured I'd check to see if a problem I was having renewing one of my prescriptions could be resolved online.  Unfortunately, what I feared happening happened - my health insurance was not properly renewed.  So I had to spend the better part of an hour, first thing in the morning, to get the problem resolved with the insurance company.  Of course, this problem can not be resolved by snapping one's fingers, or by a single keystroke.  Instead, I'll have to wait another 24-48 hours for the paperwork to make it through the pipeline. So I'll now have to wait for a call before I can make next month's payment. 

While killing time (I had a co-op board meeting to attend in the evening, I scanned some emails from my inboxes. There were several indoor meetups being held by the Fun Time Friends group - and I will be passing on them until after I've been vaccinated for Covid. But there were two outdoor meetups that I am considering attending: (1) at the Poughkeepsie Bridge Across the Hudson, and (2) at Muscoot Farm.  Both involve a little bit of walking, but I can always skip out on that if I want if I'm getting a little tired.  If I had my criticisms about my ex's favorite dinner group and the virus, I have more regarding this group. But I don't have to attend any indoor activities, and these outdoor activities will be in "my" neck of the woods.

Of course, I've been trying to keep up to date with the women I've been chatting with on the dating sites.  There are two that I might get along with, but have special needs adult offspring. I'm not sure if I could deal with those issues, given my personality traits.  However, there are two that things seem to be clicking.  One lives in Manhattan, and the other in New Jersey. It doesn't make that much sense for me to do anything other than talk, with the infection rate spiking around here.  This morning, I read an alarming statistic regarding infection rates on Long Island, and it implies things are worse than we are being led to believe.  No, it's not something one can worry about in itself.  It's because our government has decided that it can't get away with another lock down, and is trying to muddle through until vaccinations start bringing the infection rate down.  (Contact tracing may be of help, but the statistics imply that we may be beyond the point where tracing may be an effective tool to stop the spread.) However, there is also some good news.  From my conversations with one of these women, the NYC subway is virtually empty during many rush ours as of late, and it might make sense to do a museum run before things get worse.

 

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Sometimes, I simply don't want to bother being Marian

 

I look terrible in the above picture, don't I?  the way I'm dressed makes it obvious that I am a male trying to dress androgynously.  But that's OK for me, as this was the first time I wore female clothes in public with no one giving me emotional support.  Today, I wasn't even in the mood to go this far in my presentation, as the only place I was heading was to the supermarket.

Not living 24x7 as Marian, I have the option of going out as Mario.  Given that it was already 7:00 pm when I took my daily shower, there was no way I was going to be able to go out as Marian and still make it to the supermarket on time.  So I got dressed as Mario and ran over to the Stop & Shop nearby to pick up fixings for dinner.  

If I were living 24x7 as Marian, there are so many things that would be different.  For example, I'd have lost 100 pounds off my frame, and then have gotten some facial surgery to make my face more androgynous.  I might have also spent money on a tracheal shave, as well as electrolysis to remove the remainder of my facial hair.  If possible, I'd have gotten some hair transplants to make it possible to spend time en-femme without needing to wear a wig,  Until I can do this, I have to make a decision every time I go out my door - do I want to be Mario or Marian?  And today, Mario won out....

Monday, January 11, 2021

Another day without much to say.

 

.

Today, I ended up doing absolutely nothing other than watching TV.  The weather was supposed to be terrible, and I had no reason to go outside.

- - - - - -

One of the problems of living alone during the pandemic is loneliness.  Unlike some people I know, I am not good at finding meetup groups that interest me.  Additionally, not many groups are meeting in person until after the pandemic ends.  So, I am temporarily unable to connect with new people until the end of the pandemic.

As much as I've reached out to be with new people, I know that few people are willing to open up their bubbles until they have been vaccinated.  So most of the people I've been in contact with are those women who I contact for dating.  One thing I've found is that many of the available nice women are those with special needs offspring.  Dating a person with children in his/her 30's/40's/50's is hard enough.  But when one is in his/her 60's, it can be a big problem. Who wants to take on the headaches of an adult child who can't take care of him/herself?

Since I have to be practical, I have to ask myself - can I deal with these headaches?  Could a woman accept someone like me in exchange for companionship?  Who knows? 

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Sometimes, a gal has to spurge on herself.

 

This is a tale of two coffee makers.  It is a short tale, but it addresses a real need in my apartment - the lack of a quick way to have a single cup of coffee in my apartment.

Recently, I've taken to cleaning up my apartment, and one of the first areas of attack has been my kitchen.  Shortly after my late wife moved in, a storage cabinet of hers was placed in an empty corner of my kitchen.  It's ugly, but functional, and has been in the same place for almost 35 years.  In the process of cleaning up the room, I decided to place it against the other wall in the "empty" corner.  This made the kitchen more inviting, as one no longer feels cramped upon entry to the room.

In the process of moving the cabinet, I ended up relocating some appliances.  My vacuum sealer exchanged places with my toaster oven, and I temporarily moved a mini crock pot onto the top of the cabinet.  Now that I've used the crock pot to cook a meal, I can now store it in a more accessible place for future use.  In its place, I plan to place a coffee maker.  But what coffee maker should I put there?

 

I have an old coffee maker I never use. It requires me to use a filter and freshly ground coffee. Most importantly, I have to brew several cups at a time to use it.  So it has rarely seen any use.
 


A couple of years ago, my ex girlfriend gave me a French Press coffee maker.  This device doesn't require me to buy fancy filters to use when brewing coffee.  Instead, its design makes it inconvenient to use, as it requires a full clean up after each use.  This is not worth the effort when one wants a quick cup of coffee.

This left me with two choices to make, both involving K-Cup brewing.  The first choice was to decide whether I would buy an off-brand coffee maker which uses K-Cups, or whether I would buy one made by Keurig.  Given that the Hamilton Beach product was simple and easy to use, I almost sprang for that device on New Year's Eve.  But I decided to defer the decision until I was in contact with Vicki.  She was willing to give me her Keurig Mini, and I needed to know why she didn't use it before accepting her offer.  Vicki then told me about her two most important complaints: (1) The Mini's water reservoir was virtually useless, only having enough water for an 8 oz. brew, and (2) The Mini did not have controls for whether one desires a mild, medium, or strong brew.  At this point, I knew enough to make my decision.  I chose NOT to use Vicki's Mini brewer, and chose to buy the Keurig Classic with a 36 oz. reservoir. 

If you shop around, you'll find that the Keurig Classic is twice the price ($60) as the Hamilton Beach coffee maker ($30) at the local Walmart.  The key difference between the two is the size of the reservoir, with the Keurig holding 6 more ounces.  This is not a major difference.  But I am familiar with the Keurig from my 10 months at the census bureau, and I don't want to learn the nuances of a new machine. 

Now to find someone to have breakfast with, so that we can have coffee together.



 

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Sometimes, one has to ask an awkward question

 

A little over 7 weeks ago, I got what was likely a "butt dialed" call from my former cruise partner. I never expected a response from her when I sent her a birthday card, and I didn't receive one. So, this morning, I sent her a New Year's greeting, and noted that her lack of reply would give me the answer I needed.  But this is only an appetizer....

As loyal readers of this blog (and my prior one) will note, that I had a dispute with my ex girlfriend regarding meetup groups.  Today, I had the opportunity to pose her a question about a group that I'd attend as Mario.  Does she want me to stay away from that one as well?  This is awkward for me, as I'm not trying to dredge up our past.  But I am trying to figure out some things based on what she said in our email exchanges.  I am no longer in the mood to fight her - I'm tired of battles that do not need to be fought.

- - - - - -

Although this could have been a Marian Mode day, I decided to go out as Mario.  It was not because the weather was dreary when I went out.  Instead, I might as well get into Mario Mode a day early, so that I don't forget anything when I see FH.  

Last night, I explored the local Walmart, looking for a coffee maker that uses K-Cups.  Although there were knock-offs that could use the K-Cups, I decided to hold off buying something until I had the chance to talk with Vicki.  She had a "Mini" K-Cup brewer, and didn't like it.  It had no controls for strength of brew, and it only had an 8 oz. reservoir.  Her machine is almost worthless.  Instead of getting her machine as a hand-me-down gift, I decided to buy my own. And for $60, I got a machine with a 36 oz. reservoir capacity.  Once I've finished cooking a brisket in my slow cooker, I'll put the coffee maker in its new designated place. 

I've decided to gradually get my place into some semblance of order.  It will never be the type of place that would look presentable for a sale until I've moved out.  However, that will be the problem to whomever I bequeath my apartment.  

- - - - - -

As I write this, we have only 19 days left in Trump's mismanagement of his office.  I can't wait until he's gone.  Hopefully, we will finally start to heal as a nation.  If not, our children will have one heck of a bumpy ride as the American empire falls....




 

Friday, January 8, 2021

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

 

 

Around this time last year, I was walking through New York City, not knowing how much my life was going to change within less than a few month's time.  If I had known what was about to happen in my life and in the world, I'd have blown a wad and taken a trip to Hawaii while it was still possible.  Sadly, too much has happened since then, and the world as we knew it is long gone....

- - - - - -

There are still some things I'd like to repair with my ex girlfriend.  Right now, I'm working on rebuilding some form of friendship and nothing more.  I won't say more, as there are limits to how close we could become based on what happened in 2020.

I wonder what my dad would be thinking had he known he was going to pass away in 2020.  Would he have blamed the lack of an adequate virus response on Trump?  Or, would he have accepted the man's bullshitting and believed the malarkey being put out by this man and his underlings?  I don't think he'd have thought about it too deeply, as my dad was a relatively simple, down to earth person.

Sometimes, I think about a former travel partner.  She was way too open with her feelings, and she often made bad decisions about people.  In many ways, I feel she was lonely and found that her pets became her way of dealing with many of those feelings.  (She spoiled her pets rotten.)  I see similar behaviors in TCL, but not to such pronounced extremes.  And I think that TCL's recent adoption of two cats a positive influence in her life.

Knowing that things would be over with my ex, I think I'd have become a regular at the church I irregularly attended.  No, I am never going to be a religious person.  Instead, it would have been more of a place to socialize now and then.  We all need social outlets, and I would have made sure to develop more of my own - even while dating the ex.

Should I totally forget about the ex?  What about the former cruise partner?

- - - - - -

As I write this entry, it's New Year's Eve.  There are things I want to accomplish this coming year, one of which is finding a new job.  That is a realistic resolution.  Getting out to exercise more (and losing weight) is another resolution, one that I plan to do more on this coming year. Improving both my wardrobes is important, as I want to look nice in either presentation. Finally, I'd like to find someone I can love (and be loved by in return).  FH will likely not be that person, and none of the other women I've been with so far meet my criteria for someone to be with in the long term. 

 

PS:  For those of you who care about The King - Today is Elvis's Birthday.

Thursday, January 7, 2021

If I only could have gotten to sleep

 

 

If I had been lucky, I'd have been able to fall asleep last night.  Vicki was scheduled to come over here in mid afternoon, and we were supposed to enjoy some take-out food instead of going to one of our usual restaurants.  It's been forever since I had anyone in this place, save for FL coming into my apartment, so that she could make use of the bathroom.  Other than the cleaning lady (who hasn't been here since February), the last person other than me inside this place was my ex girlfriend.

Around 3 am, I turned off the lights and turned off the TV, but couldn't get to sleep.  So I wasn't surprised to find me still awake around 7 am.  Even more surprising, I received a Facebook chat request from her.  (I sent her a skit from the comedienne Sarah Millican and sent it to her, hoping she'd get a laugh out of it.).  Given the time of the day, I don't think she was trying to reach me.  Instead, she accidentally tried to reach me (from what I could tell), and I decided to let her get on with her day without a conversation which could stir up feelings in both of us that would not be of use this early in the morning. At this point, I decided to make breakfast, and consider going back to bed for a couple of hours.  Of course, I went back to bed - and woke up around 11 am.  This meant that I wasn't going to get the place straightened up as much as I'd like to have done before Vicki arrived.  So, as I was taking garbage out to the dumpster, Vicki arrived with lunch.  

Before I go on too far, Vicki and I used to enjoy a local sushi/hibachi place in Croton.  This place has been closed for indoor dining since the pandemic started.  And this was our first opportunity to enjoy their food (especially their seafood soup) for a long time - and it was as good as I remembered.  Eventually, we got around to one of the purposes of her visit - giving me some "hand me downs", now that she has lost a bit of weight.  Sadly, my screwed up sleep got in the way, and I was struggling to stay awake (failing miserably) while we were chatting. So I was glad when Vicki left, allowing me to take a quick nap which lasted longer than expected.  And then, after a couple of hours of being awake, I fall asleep again. 

Why do I mention sleep so much?  My body clock is out of whack these days, and I found this happening during the early days of the pandemic.  Could there be a connection here?  Is this related to the lack of social stimuli due to the pandemic?  Who knows?  But it's something I'll have to deal with until I can find external stimuli to keep me awake during "normal" hours.





Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Somewhere nearby, someone is using a power saw.

 

 

I've talked about my apartment looking like a disaster area.  But the apartment downstairs from me was much worse the last time I saw it.  The above picture is one of several I took which shows how its last resident left the place - and it is not good.  So I was surprised today when I heard the sound of a power saw coming from a nearby apartment.  Could the bank that owns the place finally be preparing the place for a sale?  Who knows?  But it may be nice to have someone living there again after several years of being empty.

- - - - - -

After lounging around all day, I decided to do some more clean up of my apartment, then go outdoors as Marian - for the first time in a while.  Even though I ended up shopping for groceries at Trader Joe's, it was nice to get back into Marian mode again.  

I really don't have that much to say for the day.  I still have to get the place cleaned up for Vicki's upcoming visit.  And morning comes way too quickly these days.

Catching up on my reading. (A short post)

  This is the book that I've been reading lately.  Unfortunately, I have no more renewals left on the book. It means that I'm suppos...