I went to the hospital today and came out with an appointment

 

I had some GI Tract issues a fewweeks ago, and I had to visit the hospital for a triage appointment to determine how soon I could schedule a procedure.  Today was that appointment.

My alarms were set to wake me up at 8 am, so that I could get myself ready to go to the hospital for a 10:30 am appointment.  (I was supposed to be there at least 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork.)  When I started filling out paperwork, I noticed something I haven't seen before - not only were they showing respect to the LGBTIQ community by asking both legal and preferred names, but doing the same for biological and identified gender related questions.  Although I went to my appointment as Mario, I could have gone as Marian without any problems.  This was a very pleasant surprise.  If I didn't have another appointment later in the day which required Mario's presence, I might have wished that I knew about this policy in advance, so that I could have presented myself as I want to be seen.

15-20 minutes after I arrived, I met with the nurse practitioner who would be examining me.  I talked about my symptoms, and she told me what likely happened.  Instead of repeating a procedure done in my doctor's office, she took my description of what was done as truth, and then told me that I was about 5 years overdue for the procedure,  So it was off to the front desk to schedule my procedure, then go on my merry way.

As I left the hospital, I made 2 calls: to Vicki, so that I have transportation to/from the hospital on the day of the procedure, and to RQS, so she knew what was going on.  I guess that I'm going to be living a busy life for a while....

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

(I'm taking the day off today to enjoy the holiday.)

The days are counting down until my next trip

 

Soon, RQS and I will be on another cruise.  It'll be a short 7-day trip to Bermuda and back.  It's my first time in Bermuda, and I'm looking forward to the experience.

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During the reopening of post-covid travel, one of my pen pals took a pair of back to back cruises from New York to Bermuda, and loved them.  Now, it's our turn to travel there. And we're still trying to figure out what we'll do when we get there.

One of the places I want to see are the Crystal Caves.  Given the length of time we'll be in Bermuda, we plan to take public transit to reach the caves, as we've been told that the bus/ferry system is very safe and convenient.  The only catch is that public transit ends around 5 pm.  So, this led us to plan on staying near the Royal Naval Dockyard on our last day there, as we won't have to worry about getting back to the ship on time. And on our second day, we might explore their capital, Hamilton.

Although we will be on a big ship (not the one pictured above), there's a part of me that hopes that I can get RQS on a smaller ship next time, so that she can experience the more personal service offered on this class of ship.  The way things are going, it might be when I decide to go to Hawaii again.  And then, it will be as Marian, and not as Mario.

Tapas

As I understand things, Spanish style Tapas are supposed to look like the dishes above.  Last night, we went to a restaurant that claimed to serve tapas, but served (what at best) could be called American style appetizers) - and we enjoyed the meal.

But first....

This was not going to be a day out as Marian, as I had to carry a couple of heavy donation bags to my car to be dropped off at Green Drop and didn't leave myself much time to do so.  Once I took care of this effort (which wasn't too much of an effort at all), we went back home to take care of laundry before going out again.

NoMa Social is a Tapas restaurant located in a hotel with the same name.  It's in the old Radisson space in New Rochelle, NY, and primarily serves the people staying at the hotel.  In a bid to gain more local business, they partnered with Groupon.com to sell 50% off coupons that could be used for meals.  Since our coupon would expire soon (given our busy November/December schedule), we decided to use it now.  (My doctor would scold me, if he knew how many rich meals I'd be eating in a two week period. But I digress....)  So, it was off to New Rochelle, where we found NoMa with the help from Google Maps.

The restaurant part of the hotel is located to the side of the hotel's entrance.  It is bright, minimalist in appearance, where the bar is the center of attention.  Most of the place is a contrast of white and black, with animated deep sea images being projected on the full width and height of the wall.  We were told to sit down where we pleased, and our waitress arrived shortly afterwards.  We ordered the special for $68, which included a pitcher of sangria, with five dishes of our choice.  We chose the following dishes: Crispy Pork Belly, Fried Chicken Dumplings, Tacos (Shrimp, Chorizo, and Beef), Calamari, and Buffalo Wings.  Although none of these dishes were out of this world tasty, they were filling and left us with a feeling that we will return again if we're in the neighborhood.

Why did I feel like talking about a restaurant today, instead of talking more about my bi-gendered life?

Well, the answer is that most of us TG people live mundane lives.  Being TG is not the focus of our lives.  But most importantly, Restaurant Six (that RQS, Vicki and I went to the other night) didn't even have the courtesy to even apologize after receiving a harsh (but polite) complaint email. (See yesterday's post for more info.)  I simply wanted talk about having pleasure eating out for a change, and had the opportunity to do so.

We had high expectations of a restaurant, and they failed us.

 

Hudson Valley Restaurant Week came, and we decided to have an elegant dinner at Restaurant Six.  Years ago, Vicki was married here (in the restaurant's prior incarnation), and it would be our first time back in its new incarnation.  Sadly, we were less than underwhelmed by the experience, and I found that I had to write a complaint letter before I could get to sleep.

But first....

As usual, RQS and I relaxed throughout the day until the bug took us, and we started to clean up my closet, making room for homeless accessories I own.  Several pairs of shoes found their way to a donation bag, and I gained a better organized closet.  And then we started to get ready for dinner.  

Around 5:15 pm, we left my apartment and drove to Vicki's house.  She was surprised that I was there on time (I am usually a few minutes late), and we were off to the restaurant.  I had allocated much more time than needed to reach the restaurant, as I planned to avoid taking the Taconic parkway (the most direct way) to the restaurant for safety purposes.  (I don't like driving on the stretch of road in Putnam county, as people drive at high speed on a road that has no shoulders, and has steep inclines on a curving roadbed.)  However, I decided to drive this road, as the sun was still out, and we arrived at the restaurant about an hour early.  So, we killed time by driving around for 30 minutes, and went back to the restaurant hoping to be seated early - which we were.

Instead of  repeating what I said in my complaint letter, I have to say that I wished we went somewhere else to eat, and Vicki could see that by how my conversation style differed from my usual style.  Eventually, we left the place, and I drove home on the side roads I planned to take on the way up to the restaurant.  We dropped Vicki off, and then returned home.  And that's when I decided to write my complaint letter.

Hopefully, they will fix things after reading this email.....

To the management of Restaurant Six:

This weekend, my group had the experience of dining at your establishment.  We had high expectations of your restaurant based on its reputation. Arriving early, we were seated quickly without having to wait. Although we were impressed with the ambiance and the quality of the food, we were very disappointed for the following reasons:

1. Service was very slow.
2. No napkins were on the table.  None of your staff noticed this even after bread and water were delivered to the table, and we had to ask for napkins .
3. The time lapse between the serving of the appetizers and the delivery of our main courses was over 40 minutes.  After we finished our appetizers, no one cleaned up the dirty dishes on our table until one of our party asked about what happened to our main courses - and only then were the dirty dishes taken away.  Shortly after the table was cleaned, the main courses magically appeared.
4. There was a noticeable lull in service compared to what was being received by other tables in the room.  
5. At one point during the meal, we had an interaction with one of the wait staff, and he commented: "This is my first and last day working at this place."
6. When my dessert was delivered to the table, it was not delivered with the spoon needed to consume it.  I had to ask for this.
7. No one asked whether we would want coffee or tea at the end of the meal.
8. The service was inconsistent at best.  At the beginning, the wait staff engaged readily in conversation, describing the dishes with enthusiasm.  Then, they disappeared and dropped the ball. After we asked about our main course, and it was delivered, no one bothered to apologize for the delay.

As much as I would love to come back because of the ambiance and the food, I am soured on the idea of returning due to the spotty service your staff provided.  My dining partners share the same opinion, and were very disappointed because there are many fine dining establishments in the Hudson Valley, and we expected to add this place to our list.

For auld acquaintance be forgot....

 

In a way, this post is a birthday card to a former friend, and commentary on peaceful communications that have taken place over the past few months.....

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I have mentioned my former cruise partner in many a post, and wish we had found a way to bridge the gulf between us. Sadly, this did not happen.  A few months ago, she wrote me an email to say that she was glad that I have a solid relationship with RQS.  In the past week or so, she wrote me in regard to weight loss.  No, I don't think it's an attempt to rekindle a friendship.  To do that, she'd have to send me an email and suggest getting together over coffee (or something similar). But I do appreciate the communication, and wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday today, as I know that she reads this blog now and then.

There are friends of mine that I haven't seen in years.  One of which was the best man at my wedding. What I found interesting was that before he encamped to Florida a decade ago, he gifted me a top of the line, fully loaded iPad which I still use today.  Yet, he makes no effort to initiate contact with me.  Until recently, I didn't even have a phone number for him.  Still, I miss him very much.

Other friends are the types who are transitional in nature.  One of these friends (JS) was a woman who was very needy and destroyed her security for the sake of her children.  She had virtually no home equity when I met her, and she didn't have a good plan for her retirement.  Before she encamped to Florida, she had taken a job as a principal of a girl's school in Coney Island while living in Ridgefield, CT.  It was an unsustainable commute for her, and one which was destroying her health and her car's life.  Even her (then) financial advisor had to "read her the riot act" to get this woman's attention, and still, she didn't listen.  She now lives in Florida, is caught up in the MAGA cult, and is oblivious to reality.  I mention her, simply because she was a catalyst for trouble, and whoever tried to help her ended up having to abandon her because of her self destructive actions.

It is much harder to develop closeness as one gets older.  And I have lost several close friends over the years, friends I once could call on (when needed) for favors.  Some of my current friends will do these favors for me (such as driving me to/from a colonoscopy, etc.), but only if it works with their schedules.  It's not the same as when I was married, and could count on my wife to be there for me.  (I still miss her after 27 years.) But I've made do, by searching for a new love and finding one in RQS.  It's just a damned shame that she can't drive.  Yet, nobody's perfect.

As I get older, the more I realize that real wealth is the quality of friendships that one has.  And I am very grateful for the ones who are in my life....

Sometimes, you find stuff you weren't looking for.

 

It's been a little under 27 years since my late wife passed, and things related to her life still pop up now and then.  Today, I stumbled across some items related to her life and our life that I didn't expect to see. First came baby pictures of my wife in a small book related to her early life.  Then, I found our wedding certificate near the book.  It doesn't mean much, save that it is a reminder that she was an important part of my life.

Soon, it will be the 27th anniversary of my wife's death.  I was very lucky to have had her in my life when I did, and I cherish the memories of that time.  Yes, she did know that I liked wearing women's clothes (I didn't know what being transgender was) and accepted this on all but our wedding night.  But I'll always wonder, that had she survived, would she have accepted me for who and what I am?

While cleaning up the apartment, I also found something I wasn't looking for - some costume jewelry that I liked to wear, that usually hung on the knobs of a dresser near my computer desk. When the electricians were here in August, I had to move the dressers, so that they would be able to get at the electrical outlets behind them.  So, I put everything into a bag, and stuffed it into the mess sitting on a chest near the foot of my bed.

At this point, cleanup was a big "might as well" task, and I started to empty out one of my dresser drawers, so that I had a place to stash some of the mess on top of my desk. And I realized that I could start another donation bag for charity.  There were 6 sweaters in that drawer, and 3 of them went into the donation bag.  Now, I had a place where I could put my leggings, so that I knew where they were.

In the end, I still had a mess, but I was making progress towards getting this place in shape....

Catching up with friends (Or, at least one of them)

The above is an old picture of me with a meetup group that no longer exists.  Although I made some friends due to being in this group, by the time Covid-19 hit, we had all gone our separate ways.  Yet, the pandemic resulted in me developing new friendships, with whom I was in contact today....

- - - - - -

My first task of the day was to get shaved, showered, made up, and dressed to see my friend SJM formerly of the imaging firm.  Setting a meeting time for 12:30 pm worked out well for both of us, as we both got to the restaurant on time. The two of us had a lot to talk about, and SJM noted that I had just as much chaos going on in my life as she had in hers.  I covered the headaches in regard to my GI Tract, the loss of my backpack and wallet, along with the struggles I had to deal with along the way.  Other than to say that she was very happy to talk about her husband's improving health, I won't say much about what she said to me.

After lunch, I returned hope, and opened up two boxes I received from Amazon.  One contained a replacement backpack and a selfie stick, while the other contained a Bluetooth mouse and some USB-C cables.  Setting up the mouse with the Chromebook was a breeze, and it was worth $10 to both free up the USB-A port on the Chromebook and to never need to worry about having a battery handy to use the mouse.

- - - - - -

Evening was coming and I had a Zoom meeting scheduled with RQS, STX, and JTX.  (This was the only reason that I didn't take off my makeup or breast forms when I got home earlier.) So, I set an Alexa alarm to alert me to be ready for the Zoom, and proceeded to take a short nap.  Two hours later, I checked my computer and my Texas friends had both bailed out for the night, as they were too tired.  So, I rescheduled things and had a face to face with RQS over Zoom.

Hopefully, we'll get to have a good Zoom in two weeks....

Often, being Transgender is very mundane.

 

There are many trans people who get lost in the pink fog, and rush into things needlessly.  Yes, they have new found freedom in being able to express their authentic selves.  But they often forget that the real world usually doesn't care whether a person is trans or not.  As a result, many things slip while a trans person explores her/his new place in the world.  Eventually, the trans person and reality have to get back in sync with each other, and the mundane things in life take over.  This is not a bad thing.  A successful transition will enable one to experience the mundane as one's authentic self.

As my loyal readers will note, many of the entries I've posted in this blog are not those where going out in the world is a novel experience, as they were in my previous blog.  Instead, my current entries are those which deal with the issues I face in life - either as a male or female.  Many of them have unusual twists, such as my travels while presenting as a female and carrying male ID.  Yet, I try to say things that might be of interest to the trans person just coming out.  It takes a lot of courage for many trans people to out themselves.  And for many, they are unable to be completely out because of their real life commitments.  For example, one trans woman I know is a doctor whose wife accepts her presenting as a female, as long as she doesn't go 24x7. (There are issues with both her career and her family that get in the way of being out to the world.)  Another trans woman I know outed herself, and lost contact with many in her family. Trans people often lose family, friends and careers in order to be their authentic selves, so I encourage trans people considering outing themselves to think things through and be careful when they do so.

At my stage of being trans, I exist in a happy medium.  Since I am not very gender dysphoric, I can live in either gender as needed.  But I must revert to being Marian for my sanity.  I am comfortable staying at this point in the transition process for romance, unlike many trans folk. And in this way, I am lucky, as I have someone who accepts me for who and what I am now.  Others are not so lucky.  Recently, I found out that one trans woman I know reverted to her male identity for romance,  and has recently returned to a female identity.  (Did romance influence either or both changes?)   

One thing I wish I could change more effectively is my voice - it is still picked up as being male on the phone.  And this is something that many M2F trans people have to deal with.  A trans acquaintance of mine had surgery to raise the pitch of her voice. But she is still perceived as a male over the phone, as her speech patterns still have a masculine imprint.  It takes a lot of work to develop female vocal mannerisms, but it doesn't get in the way for most of us in our lives.

So now, we end up dealing with the mundane.  I still have to pay my bills throughout the month.  I still have doctors' appointments for our ailments (as I will have a week from today for a GI Tract issue).  And I still need to take care of the everyday tasks of life, such as laundry.  Most of the time, a trans person's life will be mundane, as other than our gender dysphoria, we are living everyday lives.  Even when something "exciting" happens (such as having a wallet stolen in Chicago), I do what I would be doing as if I were simply a cisgender person, and am treated the same as if I were just a cisgender person.  The only difference is that I have to be on the watch out for people who hate trans people because we don't fit into their view of the world.  And that's a small price I pay for being my authentic self.....     

A "Short" Weekend

 

It's been hard keeping my composure as of late.  Although I am slowly recovering from the theft of my wallet and the loss of my backpack (with old Chromebook and assorted supplies), I do not yet feel back to normal, due to GI-Tract issues I'll soon be seeing a doctor about.  (My internist told me to contact a specialist, and I'll be dealing with triage procedures next week.) So, with the exception of my health, most of the other issues are being managed to my satisfaction.

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On Friday, RQS came to Croton.  Our plans were to do some leaf peeping before the last of the leaves fell to the ground.  Unfortunately, most of the leaves were already on the ground when we started our Saturday excursion.  However, this wasn't so bad, as it was a day I could get out in the world as Marian and show RQS some of the vistas that can only be experienced in the Hudson Valley.

We started our trip by crossing the Hudson and taking side roads through Harriman State Park.  There were a lot of great views to be captured, but there were too many people following us for me to stop for her to take snapshots.  Once out of the park, we headed North towards Walden, where we made the mistake of pulling into a Dunkin Donuts, where the help totally ignored us for several minutes.  After a reasonable amount of time, I took RQS by the hand and exited the shop to get a snack at the hotdog/ice cream stand next door.  Going there for food was almost as bad as stopping at DD's, as we had reactions to food that tasted excessively greasy.  We will never stop there again.  At that point, I felt it was time to go home, and we crossed the Hudson to take in the views from Fahnstock State Park.  At least, this time, RQS could get some photos.  

Finally, we returned to Croton with a quick stop at the dam, where she got some nice pictures.  Although the park was supposed to close at 5:30 pm, there was no way they would be able to clear out all of the people there before the sun set.  It was too nice a day in October for anyone to rush home, as this would likely be the last nice day we'll get until Spring.

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Sunday came, and we did nothing all day.  So I won't talk much about that.  But I was supposed to receive 2 shipments from Amazon that never came.  They were delayed until Monday, and weren't delivered until RQS got home.  As I said, I'm still replacing things I lost when I misplaced my backpack at Croton-Harmon station.  Hopefully, though I doubt it, MNRR lost and found will have the backpack the next time I go into NYC by train.

Looking forward to traveling again.

 

Next year, RQS and I are planning on taking another "Bucket List" cruise, this time to the Norwegian fjords.  It'll be the last year that traditional cruise ships will be allowed into several of the fjords, so we decided to do it now and hold off on other cruises we may have taken first.

Right now, I have only 3 cruises planned, 2 of them fully paid for.  One of these cruises will have RQS and I spending 3 days in Bermuda, and the other will be an effective repeat of a cruise I took with XGFJ several years ago.  On the latter cruise, I'll be alone and presenting as a female.  Unfortunately, the one time I want to spend the money to have a portrait photo taken of me presenting as Marian, the cruise ship doesn't seem to have to have the portrait studio experience I want - something similar to what I experienced on Princess as Mario.

One of the things that excites me is the opportunity to travel and see new places.  Sometimes, I want to go back to places such as Alaska and Hawaii. And that brings me to the topic of last minute trip booking.  A while back, I started looking at last minute prices for the Hawaii cruise I took last year. And I could take the cruise portion of that trip for a very cheap price this year.  If you look at the pricing for the cruise above, you'll note that there is an important anomaly - the studio cabin is priced more than both an inside cabin and an ocean view cabin. For only $300 more than the studio cabin, the solo cruiser could cruise in a balcony cabin.  Add $1,000 for the airfare, and $500 for hotel stays,  and one could do this bucket list trip for about $3,000-$3,500, excluding shore excursions.

Although cruising is getting more expensive these days, it still can be a relative bargain.  One has to be willing to get into the nitty gritty and search for pricing anomalies like the one above.  But bucket list trips such as a Norway cruise are rarely discounted.  Hawaii prices will soon go back to normal, and I expect Alaska prices for good itineraries to be at a premium next year.  

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Not all of my travels will be by sea.  RQS and I are planning on doing another "Girls' Trip" with our friends from Texas.  Hopefully, they will be able to fit this trip into their schedules and budgets.  Shortly after our Chicago trip, I floated the idea of visiting San Francisco in the fall, given the low prices I've seen at a few hotels there this year. Some of the places I stayed in a decade ago are very reasonably priced, and I have found a few bargains that are accessible via mass transit.  We could fly into SFO, then take BART to Embarcadero, then take the Trolley (or bus) to a hotel at Fisherman's Wharf. This is a trip which deserves more time than we spent in Chicago, and may require the rental of a car for a day.

RQS and I may do another trip to Washington, DC, as well as a trip to Philadelphia and a trip to Boston. All of these cities are easily reached by Amtrak, and that helps keep our costs down.  Unfortunately, being in the Northeast poses another set of problems - it's harder for a frugal traveler to find bargains here. But if one avoids using a car and uses mass transit efficiently, one can make many a trip in this region affordable.  So don't be surprised to find me reporting on a spur of the moment trip soon....

Two items of note regarding Electric Vehicles

 

I saw the above vehicle today, as I went to the bank to clarify an issue I had with newly issued credit cards.  And it got me thinking about the future of these vehicles.

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For a long time, I've held that it is unlikely that we will meet the political deadline set by the governors of New York and California to end the sales of internal combustion vehicles.  But I'm not as sure as I once was due to the use of electric vehicles by two people in my circle of acquaintances. (Only one of these people drives a Tesla.  The other drives a Nissan Leaf.)  Although I could make a case for a Tesla being a person's only car, I can't say that yet for any other brand of electric vehicle.

Today, I saw an article noting that Toyota has developed a battery that could get 750 miles on a single charge AND be fully charged in 10 minutes.  Assuming that the cost of manufacturing these batteries could be brought down to a reasonable price point (even Toyota says this technology is not ready for prime time) and that the charging station infrastructure can be fully built out in 12 years, I feel that it might be possible to migrate to a fully electric transportation economy.  These, still, are two gigantic ifs!

The above vehicle is classified as a motorcycle by New York state law.  If you look at the steering control in the top picture, you'll see something resembling handlebars.  I wonder if the driver of this vehicle still has to wear a helmet.  I'm also concerned that entry doors (if any) on this vehicle are removable, and that climate control (both air conditioning and heat) does not exist for this vehicle.  

Years ago, I saw a internal combustion (ICE) commuter vehicle designed for a single driver, whose price point was set at $7,500.  In 2016, I was able to sit inside one of Elio Motors' ICE prototype vehicles. Unfortunately, Elio Motors' ICE product never made it to market - gas prices stayed cheap, and people were able to buy new and used ICE vehicles at a price point which took away the market for Elio's product  Today, Elio is looking to sell an electric vehicle for $15,000.  Elio realizes that any vehicle being sold in this market needs standard safety features found on current model cars, needs appropriate climate control for passenger comfort, as well as other features now found on current model cars.

Would I buy an electric vehicle designed to carry only two people?  I'm not sure any more.  I'd still want a ICE car for long distance travel.  But, if Toyota's technology proves to be practical and affordable in the near future, I'd consider an electric version of a 4-dor sedan.  Yet, if I had the ICE vehicle, I'd consider a 2-person electric commuter vehicle for short trips.  As you can see, electric powered vehicles are a growing share of the transportation market, and is creating confusion while the transition from ICE vehicles to Electric vehicles takes place.....

Poly = Many, Tics = Flesh Eating Insects

 

As I write this, the House of Representatives has just elected a new Speaker - an ultra conservative lunatic. Why do I call him a lunatic?  Anyone who opposes late term abortions to preserve the life of the mother has to be crazy.  His policies, such as a total late term abortion ban, if enacted, will put the lives of many cisgender women at risk.  Even though I am transgender, and never will directly have anything at risk with this policy, I have to fight for those that do - else, I will have no excuse to ask cisgender women for help when these lunatics attack us transgender people.

The previous speaker was elected after 15 votes.  Before the election was over, no actions could be taken by the house.  Due to an action from a radical from the far right, the first speaker was removed from his position, and it took 3 weeks for a new speaker to be elected.  Since they didn't change the rule which allowed the former speaker to be removed, I fully expect that we will see someone invoke it to remove this speaker when the current spending bill expires.  (Will we have a government shutdown or not?  A House without a speaker when the spending bill expires will be a disaster. But I don't put it past the far right....)

So, where am I going with this?

Right now, the "right" is busy fighting amongst its allies.  Moderate "conservatives" are being coerced to give their votes to the radicals. (Look at how Jim Jordan's allies allegedly gave death threats to people who didn't support him for examples of this coercion.)  My congressional representative voted for the current speaker of the house.  This cemented my resolution to be part of the bloc that (hopefully) votes him out next year.

Given that transgender people will continue to be a target of the far right, I expect that attacks against us will resume soon.  This means that we must continue our efforts to get more trans people into positions of power, so that we (and our allies) to check and balance the power of the lunatic right until sanity (hopefully) can be restored to the GOP.

Most of us are not ready to "out" ourselves and be targets for the lunatics on the right.  But we can vote for our allies.  So, it's time to register to vote, and participate in local politics when possible.  As they say, all politics are local.  That's where we can make our first stand against lunacy.   And I intend to do just that....

Visiting a friend sitting Shiva, then spending more money.

 

This morning, I was supposed to have brunch with SJM.  However, we postponed it, as the place we planned to go to was closed - as in no longer in business. (Or, so my friend said.)  And this was just as well for me, as I didn't have the energy to get showered, dressed, and made up as Marian until later in the day....

- - - - - -

When I finally got up and moving, it was well into the afternoon.  This was the last night my friend would be sitting Shiva, so I knew that I had to be there tonight.  So around 5 pm, I shaved, showered, and dressed - and was out the door by 6 pm.  Since I knew I was going to buy a new wallet and not use the one I bought through Amazon, I packed my license, money, and a couple of credit cards into my handbag and went to my friend's place.  It was perfect timing, as I got to spend some one on one time with my friend before people started coming over for the zoom service.  This gave me a good opportunity to leave, as I still had a couple more places to go to yet.

My next stop was Micro Center in Yonkers, where I bought a 30W USB-C charger, so that I could fast charge my phone when needed.  After that, I went to Target to pick up a woman's wallet - and found one that was close to fitting my needs.  So I bought it. 

Next, I went home to take care of things.  I transferred the replacement credit cards into the new wallet, but will not use them until I record them in my data base of card information.  And then, I cloned my BJ's card, so that I can scan it when shopping for less than 10 items.  (Larger purchases will require me to present as Mario and use the legitimate card I have.)  Hopefully, I'll be able to get a BJ's card which doesn't have a picture on it (I saw one when I was last there), and I'll put that in my female wallet for use.

- - - - - -

One thing of note.  I wasn't able to stay asleep last night.  So I decided to catch up on co-op work and write up two sets of meeting minutes.  It's enough to bore someone to sleep, and it helped to put me into the right frame to go back to sleep....

I went to NYC today ...and left 15 minutes after I arrived.

 

A while back, I reported here that I left my backpack in the washroom at Croton-Harmon station and that someone picked it up.  Usually, it takes 3-5 business days for a lost item to make its way from a MNRR railroad station to their Lost and Found office at Grand Central.  This week, it will take longer, due to the mudslide over the Hudson Line's tracks that too place over the weekend. 

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My day started with a visit to the doctor (I referred to this in the past 2 days' posts), followed by a call to a credit card company, ending up with a call to make an appointment to see a doctor about new GI-Tract issues I'm having.  This was not a pleasant start to the day.  But, with a co-op board meeting coming up in the evening, I made a decision to try to make it into Grand Central and back within a 4 hour window, so that I could start the board meeting at 6:00 pm.

Given that I didn't want to trust travel on the Hudson line, I chose to drive to a convenient subway station where I knew I could park for free.  Luckily, I found a spot in front of the station entrance, and swiped my Metrocard to get in the fare control area - and not much too soon, as the train came about a minute later.  Around 3:30, I got off the subway and made it to the lost and found office.  Unfortunately, my backpack did not make it to Lost & Found yet.  They haven't been bringing "found" items from the Hudson line to Grand Central for a while.  Things are backed up, and the mudslide just made things worse.  The man at the front desk updated my claim form to mention the computer, and said that I may have a good chance for backpack/computer recovery.  (Keep your fingers crossed....)

Once done with Lost and Found, I made it back on the subway, and was back at my car by 4:30.  However, it took me almost 90 minutes to make it from the Bronx to Croton due to rush hour traffic.  At least, I was able to start the co-op board meeting "on time", and conclude it in less than 90 minutes later.  What a relief to NOT have the old site representative in our meetings!  Our average meeting time has been cut in half.  And we might be getting better service from the firm as well.

I can't wait for the new year to come.

 

This year has been one heck of a roller coaster ride for me so far.  My savings are draining quicker than expected, but they are well within the limits I set when I quit my job at the imaging company.  I'll have gone on 3 cruises by year-end, and have explored both Washington, DC and Chicago on multi-day city visits.  And, I have finally had to meet my friends from Texas for the first time in person.  With the exception of losing my backpack and having my wallet stolen, it has been a pretty good year so far.

However, things aren't always what they appear to be from the outside.  I still have billing issues with a health insurance company, and I'll need help getting this resolved once and for all.  My car is 10 years old and in need of replacement.  I'm still monitoring my credit reports to see if any bogus credit applications have been made using information from my stolen ID.  And, there is still one card that can't validate who I am, causing me problems in replacing the card.  Finally, I have a medical issue that will keep me up at nights until it is resolved.

It would be nice to assume things will be OK.  But I can't do so with any of the things I deal with right now.  Hopefully, none of them will cause me too much grief in the time left in this year.

The other day, I saw a vision from the past.

 

Sometimes, one sees the remnants of businesses that no longer exist, that were around in one's youth.  Bohack supermarkets is one of those long shuttered businesses.

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I can still remember seeing Bohack stores in the New York area.  Yet, I always wondered what happened to them.  When I did some research, I found that this business was larger than I remembered, as it had expanded into auto products and restaurants before the great depression.  (These businesses were dropped because of the depression.)  Later on, it was taken over by Gulf and Western industries, and over expanded into bankruptcy, finally shutting down in the 1970's.

Why is this important?

It's  a given - all things have a definite lifespan. I worry about my lifespan, given health issues such as my weight, blood pressure, etc., that are risk factors that could shorten it.  Right now, I am dealing with one issue that scares me a bit.  I feel well, but there is an unmistakable sign of a serious problem that must be taken care of - and soon! By the time this post is public, I will be in the process of seeing a doctor about it.  (I should say, at first, only a front line practitioner is doing triage regarding medical symptoms, and that I expect that I will need to see the specialist shortly afterwards.)

Hopefully, I will be OK after I am examined in depth, and that nothing is found that can't be fixed.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

A visit to the Onderdonk House in Queens, NY

 

Each year, Open House New York (ohny.org) sponsors a weekend where the public is given free access to many historical sites in New York City.  Today, RQS and I went to see one of these sites, the Onderdonk House in Queens.

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Given how things have been this week, I decided to spend a single overnight with RQS.  Although I arrived at her place on Saturday, it was a little too late to do much of anything that day.  But on Sunday, it was a different matter - we got out of her apartment around 1 pm, and were over at the Onderdonk house by 2:30 pm.

Normally, RQS would not have traveled alone to this place, as it is in an industrial section of queens, and the nearby neighborhood is a little sketchy.  However, with me by her side, she felt comfortable in making this trip.  

Although we ended up taking the wrong bus to get home, there was nothing that an Uber couldn't fix. We decided to go to a nearby restaurant for an early dinner, then go back to her place afterward.  I was feeling very tired, so I left her place early and drove home - trying to stay awake on the drive.  

Once home I had to deal with a GI tract issue, and I became glad that I was seeing the doctor in a couple of days.....

A dreary day where I had to stay in the neighborhood

 

I had 2 things I had to take care of today (Friday), and both went in directions I couldn't expect.  Both of them required me to present as a male, and I couldn't wait to get back in my dresses again.  One problem, I won't feel comfortable being in a dress until I have a wallet I am comfortable carrying again....

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The first thing on my docket was transferring money for the co-op, so that we could begin work on a long needed project.  However, I didn't have a good way to prove my identity without a legal ID with a picture on it.  How could I make the transfer without photo ID to prove who I am?  Well, the teller was sharp, and understood the problem.  Since my personal account is with the same bank, they could look up my cell phone number and text me.  One problem - my cell phone has problems receiving signal in some buildings.  Again, the teller came to the rescue - the bank's guest Wi-Fi.  Finally, I could make the transfer - but I made it to the wrong account.  (Guess where I am going tomorrow morning - three guesses, first two don't count.)  AARGH!

Next was waiting for the furniture delivery people to arrive and replace my old sofa.  They came on time, and found that my problem was caused by the first delivery people screwing up the setup - they couldn't plug in the final connector to get the recliner mechanism working.  But these guys did, and I didn't need a new sofa after all.

At this point, I took a nap.  

Later on, I looked for furniture sliders for carpets, but didn't find them in the stores.  Yes, I know that I should have found them.  But it's another item I'll be ordering from Amazon soon.  (It's amazing how much business I give them each month.  But it's better than dealing with Walmart.)  The one thing I'll miss about shopping is that I no longer have my (altered by me) BJ's card which listed my name as Marian and had my female image.  Sooner or later, I'll have to find a way to get a card in my female name....

Summing up problems - a quick post

 

So far, I have had to cancel several credit/debit cards, as well as replace my ID.  But this is not all, as I could never remember all of what I had in my wallet at the time I lost it.

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Today, my one excursion out of the house was to file a dispute with one of the banks issuing my credit cards, as  a transaction I thought was cancelled wasn't.  Luckily, the person on the call when I reported the card stolen told me to report the theft to the police and get a copy of the report.  This would prove very useful in a dispute - and I probably needed it....

My friends from Texas are amazed that I got so much done over the past couple of days.  Yet, I couldn't get the messes in my place cleaned up - even with a furniture delivery tomorrow afternoon.  What bothers me is that I won't be able to return to a female presentation for another few days yet, as all the appointments I have expect me to be presenting as a male.

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Sometime over the next few days, I have to visit a friend who is sitting Shiva.  Her mom was almost 98 years old, and had both a long and a good life.  The measure of a person is how much s/he is cared about (in a loving way) as s/he goes through life.  This woman was loved by the people who knew her.

The above gets me to think - It's been a while since I've seen Vicki #2, and I have to make the time to see her.  I might have seen her once after her spouse's memorial service.  But that's because our schedules did not permit getting together.

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So, to sum things up - my problems are first world problems that can be fixed with time and/or money.  Other people can and do have it worse....