It's hard to plan things these days

 

I don't know how I stumbled onto the above picture of Alfred and Alice E. Newman.  But it illustrates how the true essence of an individual will show through, no matter the gender presentation of that individual.  In my case, my true friends see me as the same person in both male and female modes, although they are sometimes surprised when I show up in the alternate presentation.

- - - - - -

Planning my gender presentation can be a hassle.  For example, I have a book at the library that I want to pick up, and that requires that I show myself in Mario mode.  Yet, RQS and I plan to get a Mani-Pedi this weekend, so I will need to present myself as Marian for my visit to the nail spa.  This is a typical scheduling problem for me, as I have to figure out ways to do some things that require Mario to be present, while I will be out as Marian later in the day.  However, once I'm wearing nail polish, I'm stuck in Marian mode for the better part of a week (or more).

I have other scheduling issues to deal with.  Having a steady relationship with RQS, I do my best to make sure that my weekends are dedicated to being with her.  This has meant that my solo social life has been limited to weekdays.  But this also poses a challenge, as many of my friends are single (or in relationships such as mine) and are still working.  It's not easy to find times where both my friends and I are available to do things in the evening.

Yet, I manage.  I use a color coded calendar to tell me which presentation to use when out for the day.  On days where both Mario and Marian need to show their faces, I make sure that Mario gets the morning shift and Marian gets the evening shift.  Even this isn't perfect.  Sometimes, I need to be Marian in the morning, and Mario in the evening.  So, I try to make sure that I don't have to switch modes more than once in a day, and then only when I'm not wearing nail polish.

As I said - it's hard to plan things when one lives in two gender presentations.

Lunch with SJM

 

 

Another day, another lunch....

Today, I caught up with SJM, a former colleague from the imaging firm.  We try to meet every month or so to catch up on things, and I told her all about my December cruise.  Although I was a little long winded, she had a good chance to tell me what has been going on in her life - such as the saga of a car that has been in the collision repair shop more than it has been out of it.  (With these "new fangled computer gizmos," it's hard for the average body shop to get many cars working as if they were new without dealer/factory assistance.)

Normally, I am a few minutes late for lunch.  But I got there on time - even though I took a little extra time to wear tights under a dress, instead of a tunic and leggings.  (The process of putting on stockings is a small price I pay to look more feminine.) As usual, we chose to eat at one of the places in Croton, this time, the local Japanese restaurant - Samurai.  As much as I enjoy Sushi, I decided to order the lunch special which included Teriyaki Chicken, Miso Soup, Salad, White Rice, and a California Roll, while SJM ordered her usual meal.

As usual, conversation flowed like water, and she told me the story of having only one good car in a three car household.  Given that one of the cars is being held hostage, I offered to give her a ride when she has to put her one good car into the shop for service.  But I digress.  She looked much more at ease today, now that a lot of business issues are behind her.  Having many of the stressors removed from her life has made her feel good inside - and it shows on her face.

All too soon, we had to part.  But we made another date for next month - "Same Bat Time and Same Bat Channel."  And then, I went home to rest....

Lunch with RO

 

Somehow, I always seem to find good restaurants in the most unusual places. Qin Dynasty, of Parsippany, NJ is an example of one of these finds.  This restaurant is attached to a Red Roof Inn, and nothing special would catch the eye of most people. But something about this place caught my eye (maybe the words "Dim Sum"?) and I put it on my list of places to try out - and RO and I did so shortly before one of my Autumn cruises.

- - - - - -

Recently, RO and I found the time to get together again, and we chose this place because it was halfway between our two houses.  We were both glad we did so, as we had a very tasty and filling meal for a very reasonable price.  While eating, we caught up on what was going on with each others' lives, with me running on and on about my December cruise. It's nice to know that both of us went into dating to find friends first, and then a mate.  Her body is starting that slow path to breaking down, as she can no longer walk moderate distances anymore.  I'm glad that I didn't choose her for a girlfriend, or I might have ended up like Ex-GF-M.  Luckily, RO has become a good friend, and accepts me as Marian.

When RO and I left the restaurant, we each went our own ways.  I left to see if the Lane Bryant store in Paramus had a double breasted coat I was interested in.  The first thing I did upon entering the store was to look for the coat and try it on.  Although it had a good feel, I decided to pass on it, because of how the buttons worked.  (I didn't like how the inside button was placed.)  At this point, rush hour was starting, so I drove home to spend the rest of the evening.

Dinner at Chazz's Place

 

Today was a day I did a lot of nothing until it was time to get ready for the evening.  If I didn't commit myself to attending the meetup, I would have preferred to stay home and not be on the roads.  However, I was committed, and I got showered, dressed, and made up to look my casual best before going to dinner in White Plains.

This meetup was to try out Chazz Palminteri's White Plains restaurant. You might have heard of Chazz.  He's the performer who is known for his play: A Bronx Tale.  Although I didn't want to see the movie based on his play, I'm of a different mind now than I was when the story was first adapted for film.  If Chazz does his one man how near me, I'll go and see it.  But I digress....

As I left my home at 5:30, I found a lot of people doing stupid things on the road.  And there were a couple of "Scheisskopfen" who, because of their own stupidity, could have caused me to get into an accident.  Luckily, I was alert enough NOT to get into trouble, as I reached the restaurant safely and on time.  And then I found our group.

Unlike other meetup groups I have attended, this group tends to have small gatherings of 6-8 people.  This allows for the host (and all attending) to be able to chat with anyone else sitting at the table.  I like this.  And I was able to sit next to YGD from the Yonkers gaming meetup.  Although I was at one end of the table, I was able to chat with everyone in my line of sight.  (I was glad that the meetup host made this possible by keeping the group small.)  

It took a while for a waiter to come and take our orders.  If I have any complaint about this place, it will be about the service - I had to ask for my water glass to be refilled, and the wait staff left us a little too bit alone.  (I'd have liked to get refills on my Iced Tea without having to flag down a waiter, as if I were hailing a NYC cab.  But I digress again....)  Fortunately, the quality of the food made up for the service, and I would go back here again, now that I know about it.

On the way out, YGD mentioned that she had parked at an on-street spot where the meter was broken.  (Someone had jammed the wrong coin into the slot, preventing it from being used by another car.)  TGD, in her ignorance parked there (thinking that spaces with broken meters are free, as they are where she lives), and found a ticket under her windshield wiper.  OUCH!  Before leaving her and her car, I took pictures of the broken meter and sent them to her so that she can fight the ticket.  Do I think she'll be successful?  No.  But she'll have tool with which she can fight city hall.

As for me, I drove home for the evening and took care of things around the house....

 

 

 

Bored with the board

 

Today's post will be a short one with nothing to say that involves being transgender, as I am too tired to say much of consequence.

- - - - - -

One of the things I had on tap for the day was a co-op board meeting.  Normally, I find them a little boring.  But today, being sleep deprived, I wasn't in the mood to be active.  Luckily, others made up for my lack of energy - and we got a budget passed.

As usual, I can't provide any juicy details about my co-op's business.  But I can say that I was tasked with writing a letter that could stir things up a little with our co-op's managing agent.  And I did it in one take.  If one reads between the lines, I've indicted one person for not caring enough to his best for us.  If not, the email addresses a problem the co-op has had with the managing agent from the beginning of our relationship.  

Either way, we win.  I did my job.  And that's the important thing....

Another one bites the dust

 

If you're an avid reader of this blog (and I know that there aren't that many of you), you know that I despise the man above.  Unlike our 45th president, he's a competent slime-ball, and deserving of all of the contempt that he has earned from the American left.  Too bad, that until recently, he was a darling of the American right - Trumpism without Trump.  Luckily, as I write this, this contemptible person has just "suspended his campaign" and endorsed "Orange Elvis" for president.

- - - - - -

We've seen Trump mold the GOP in his own image, leaving no room for dissent.  When one listens to excerpts from his speeches, Trump now seems to be going senile.  I do not believe that the one person who is left in the race for the GOP nomination will usurp Trump from his control of the GOP.  This leaves us with the strong possibility that one of the criminal cases against Trump may decide his guilt before the GOP convention, if not before Election Day in November. 

What happens if Trump is convicted?  Will a conviction change the votes of many independents?  What about "No Labels" effect on the general election?  Even crazier is the possibility that Trump will be elected, but noted as being disqualified to serve due to the 14th amendment.  More than that, could he be deemed too ill (senile) to serve and prevented from taking office due to actions taken under the 25th amendment?  There are so many unknowns at play in this election, that it may make sense for many Republican party loyalists to vote Democrat - simply as a tool to clean out the Trump cultists from the GOP.  I see the GOP as afraid to deal with the Trump cult, and it will be up to the Democrats (as usual) to clean up the mess the GOP has made.

I am very afraid of the reprisals that will likely take place if Trump wins in November.  So I will support any and all legal means to keep him from power until he has been defanged and declawed - preferably in ADX Florence (America's Supermax Prison.)

Baby, it's cold outside.

 

I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Baby, it's cold outside

 

- - - - - -

 

Many years ago, a smart lyricist penned the tune "Baby, it's cold outside."  It was that cold this past weekend, and it caused RQS and I to stay in for the time we were together.

The weekend started with a snow alert.  Since this weekend was my turn to go to RQS's place, I knew that I couldn't leave my car in its usual spot, as they use it to dispose of snow plowed from our driveway.  So, I parked it in a visitor's spot and took a cab to the train station.

Normally, if I take mass transit to RQS's place, it takes me around 2-2½ hours to get to her place.  This weekend, it took almost 3 hours as I was delayed due to a conversation I had with a couple of neighbors. (One neighbor has been sick for a while, and he was discussing issues he had with the local hospital.)  After the 1¼ hour ride on the local, I found that I had a problem with my reduced fare Metrocard, and had to use my full fare OMNY card instead to get on the subway, and then on the bus for a total of another 1¼-1½ hours. Eventually, I reached RQS's place where she had dinner waiting for me.

Given that neither of us wanted to brave the cold, we decided to stay indoors as much as possible. And that's where we stayed, with the exception of a trip to her local library to drop off books, then the local bodega to pick up food for breakfast and dinner.  BRRRR!  I won't say much about her adjustable bed, save that it was comfortable and that I kept sliding towards the foot board.  If I find that I like this bed when the weather gets warmer, I might buy one for myself.

All too quickly, the weekend ended.  When we left the house, it was a little warmer outside and was almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop.  Why "almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop?"  Well, we saw the express bus that would take us to the subway, and neither of us thought we'd make it to the bus stop on time.  I realized that with the timing of traffic lights and the out of service bus in front of it, we had a chance of catching the bus.  And I got to the bus stop just in time, allowing RQS a chance to catch up with me and enjoy a short ride - no waiting needed or possible!  When we reached Grand Central, it was time to part.  At least, we know where we'll be next weekend.

I was afraid I'd have to get my ear piercings redone - a short post

 

I bought the above jewelry in Hawaii, and it looks better on me than in this photo.  You'll notice that the earrings are for pierced ears.  Unfortunately, I hadn't worn any earrings in over a week and a half and I had trouble getting the hooks into the holes in my earlobes and gave up before going to dinner.

Getting my ears pierced was a big thing for me, as I had been afraid for a long while of the consequences of doing this.  Having studs in my ears would be obvious while presenting as Mario, and I didn't want anyone asking any questions.  I had thought about getting my ears pierced when I first started to go out as Marian, yet didn't do so.  A job that paid well could have been at risk, and the display of ear jewelry could have made my then bosses uncomfortable with me.  As it was, I was already on their hit list, and I was let go 10 years this coming May.

After being laid off, I was free to get my ears pierced, but still afraid to do so.  What would people think?  It took me another few years before I said "F**k It!" and stopped caring what people will think.  If I go to see my brother, my ears are unadorned.  But if I go out as Marian, I will try to hang something pretty from my earlobes.

Luckily, after I got home from dinner, I was finally able to get the earring hooks through my earlobes.  Now, I know that I have to do this more often, so that the hole stays easy to find and use.

Dinner with a friend

 

It's been a while since I've seen LK.  She's wonderfully pregnant, and her life has been taken up by the life inside her and the toddler who came out of her about a year and a half ago.  So, it was a miracle that the two of us were able to connect for dinner tonight.

- - - - - -

I'll always have LK to thank for helping me develop a decent feminine voice.  It's not the voice I want, but it's much better than the voice I had when I started transgender vocal therapy at Mercy College (now University)  And it's always a pleasure for me when we get together, as she was the only one of the student clinicians who showed true professionalism in her student work.  (I can only imagine how good she is when working with her clients today.  If I had a child with speech and hearing issues, she'd be one of the first people I'd want working with my child.)

Both of us arrived at the local (to her) diner around 5 pm, and we chatted as if it were old times.  I talked about my past and upcoming cruises, while she talked about the issues in her life.  Both of us needed to chat and this dinner gave us the perfect opportunity to do so.  All too soon we had to leave.  LK had to get up very early for work, and I had to go home.  So at 7:45, we went our separate ways, but pledged to meet each other 4-5 weeks from now. 

Sooner or later, I'll have to figure out a way to wear jeans

 

One of the problems with being transgender is that I have a woman's mind with a male body.  Most of the time, I have a nice combination of the two worlds, as I have insights into both male and female ways of life.  This has allowed me to give good advice to TCL as she navigates the dating world and sees how flaky men can be when they have the upper hand.  (The demographics of senior life can be a bitch when one looks for a partner.)  But this combination gets in the way when I shop for clothes, as the lower half of my body prevents me from wearing many garments well.  Jeans are among those types of garments.

Women have bigger hips than men.  Any trouser like garments I want to wear from the women's side of the aisle must have stretch in them so that they fit on my masculine waist.  This is why I tend to wear upper body garments that drape over the middle of my body - I need to hide my waist line (in part because I am fat), draping cloth over areas where my clothes don't fit that well.. This limits what kind of trouser like garments I can wear well, and when I can wear them.

Yet, there are certain situations where a jean like garment is useful - such as when one wants to dress very casually.  And this is where I have problems.  Women's trousers tend to hang in the wrong place and roll down at the waist.  So I have avoided jeans for my wardrobe.  But I have embraced leggings under tunics.  So, I may consider jeggings in the future, as they look like jeans and fit like leggings. It's a compromise, but not the one I really want: a pair of women's jeans that also fit my body well (an oxymoron, at best).

As cold as a witch's....

 

Today ended up being a stay-at-home day, as SJM had to postpone our lunch until next week.  That was OK with me, as I really didn't want to get dressed, go out in the cold to clean the snow off my car, then drive to lunch.  I was nice and happy in my warm apartment, and didn't want to change things or make any effort to do so.

- - - - - -

I figure that I have to fight off the lethargy that has taken over my life as of late.  And I plan to get out of the house tomorrow, if only to go to another meetup and get out in the world with people.  But that doesn't say much about today, does it?  For the most part, I did almost nothing of note other than watching videos and resting.  Could it be that I have a hibernation instinct?  I doubt it.  

Eventually, I had to take out the garbage.  So I got dressed enough to make it to the dumpster, brush the snow off the car, and get my mail from the mailbox before returning to my apartment.  While outside, I noticed how cold it was, and noted that it will be 10 degrees colder this coming weekend when I'm with RQS.  Given that it might snow again, I may just leave my car in a visitor's space while I use mass transit to visit RQS at her place.

Once done with the outside world for the night, it was on to a Zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  We presented the option of getting together in the fall, but it looks like we'll have a better chance of getting together in 2025 when it is warm and dry.  (Or, at least, I hope so.) My one requirement is that if we meet somewhere, the place we meet must be LGBT friendly - especially to people of a non-conforming gender presentation. Although we talked of many things, I won't go into all of what we chatted about.  In short, it was nice to chat with these friends again....

Meeting up - first time in a while

 

No, this wasn't the meetup I attended today.  If I had bothered to do so, I would have cancelled my RSVP, and stayed home.  Instead, I decided to go at the last minute (as Marian), and had a nice time....

- - - - - -

I hadn't been to a meetup of this group in a while, where I would meet the sponsor of the group.  So, cancellation would not be an option for me at the last moment.  Instead, I decided to get there a few minutes late, and was glad I did so.

One of the problems with many meetup groups is that people say that they will be going to dinner with the group, and then cancel without enough time for the sponsor to adjust the restaurant reservation. Some meetup group sponsors handle this by giving approximate counts to a restaurant, and then adjust it at the last minute.  They will account for the regulars who can be counted on, and for the snowflakes that melt away with no notice.  Others will charge a nominal attendance fee which goes into subsidizing the fee that the sponsor pays meetup.com to run the group.  Given the headaches many meetup group sponsors deal with, I never felt it was in my interest to run a meetup group.  Yet, I leave this option option open for the future, as I wouldn't mind having a regular night out with familiar people.  But I digress....

Arriving at the restaurant at 5:50, I found half as many people as expected at our table.  I decided to order two very filling dishes: a bowl of New England Clam Chowder, and a place of Fettuccine Alfredo topped with Shrimp and Sliced Portobello Mushrooms.  Yum!  Even though we were in a small chain restaurant, the food was worth the drive.

All too soon, the meal ended and we had to leave.  Hopefully, they will have more weeknight dinner meetups in the future....

A Half and Half Weekend

 

Often, I get to spend half the weekend in Marian mode and the other half as Mario.  This past weekend was one of those weekends. Given the cold weather that was coming in, I knew that going out as Marian would be harder to do without freezing a little.  So I made sure to be able to get that day in before the weather made things uncomfortable.

- - - - - -

When I picked RQS up at the train station, I had a simple question to ask her: Do we eat in or out?  (I had 2 steaks thawed out, waiting to be cooked in the ice box.)  RQS decided that we should eat out.  So we went to Savannah & Co. for a change of pace - and both of us ordered the Baby Back Ribs.  Yum! Then it was home for the evening.

The next day, we hung out around the house most of the day, with the idea of seeing Freud's Last Session in Pleasantville.  The press on this film said that Anthony Hopkins delivered a great performance, but the movie didn't strike home as well as the play did.  So, I had to see it for myself, given that I had seen the play 2 or 3 times in New York.  And I agree with the critics - fleshing out the film to include Freud's daughter took away from the interplay between Freud and C.S.Lewis.

Sunday could easily have been another day of rest for the two of us.  But RQS wanted to shop for a mattress, and I wanted to get out of the house.  So, at 3 pm, we drove out to the Bob's in Nanuet (I was in Mario mode, and I was in Marian mode when we went to the Bob's in Yonkers) where RQS bought a mattress, an adjustable foundation, pillows, and mattress protection.  She fell in love with the second mattress she tried out - and I think I might buy the same combination after I've had the chance to sleep in her bed next weekend.

Sadly, Monday came and I had to drop RQS off at the train station.  This was not a weekend to go into NYC, as they were having political protests in Union Square when RQS met her friend in that area for lunch.  As for me, I unboxed a jewelry cabinet and mirror and mounted it on the wall.  Unfortunately, I will have to redo what I did, as the unit is sitting too high on my door to use as a mirror.

 

Earworms - a short post

 

Above is the corn ear worm.  It has nothing to do with today's post, save for the idea of something that gets stuck in your head and keeps repeating like a broken record.

- - - - - -

For the past few days, an old tune has gotten stuck in my head.  No, it is not from a TV advertisement.  Instead, it is from a tune regularly modified and played on a TV show from my youth.  You may have heard it yourself: Pfft, you were gone.  The Hee Haw show ran from 1969 to 1992, and it got good ratings - even in cities such as New York and Los Angeles.  And "Pfft," became an earworm that often comes and goes in my head due to its pleasant silliness.  But "Pfft" is not the only earworm I've had to deal with.  For a long while, the jingle for the Radio City Christmas Show was stuck in my head, and I hated it. Other tunes have gotten stuck there, and I didn't mind them so much, as they provided a sort of rhythm that kept my mind moving.  

What is it about earworms that make them so infectious?  I feel, like others, that they trigger other memories.  In my case, "Pfft" triggers happy feelings from childhood without directly triggering the memories that caused those feelings.  Television was an escape from an unhappy childhood, and "Pfft" was indicative of the things that made me smile way back when.

- - - - - -

Given the nature of earworms, a thought came to mind.  What would happen if a therapist could both find and use earworms to evoke feelings in a person undergoing therapy?  Could this be a helpful tool in treatment?  I'd love to be able to talk about this with the therapist who treated me years ago, as it would be an interesting discussion for sure....

 

 

 

Talking with a rare set of parents

 

I'm not going to say how I know this pair of parents.  But they have a trans child, and love that child unconditionally.  If I were to live my life over, I'd love to have parents like this couple.  (No, I'm not complaining about my parents.  But I'm not sure of how they would feel if I came out to them before I hit puberty.)

Chatting with this child's parents, I was pleased to find out that they were disenchanted with the parental support group that meets while their children socialize with other trans kids.  Why is this a good thing?  Well, they accept their child for who they are: Male, Female, or Bi-Gendered.  They do not ask why their child identifies differently than the gender they were assigned to at birth.  They simply focus on what's best for their child, instead of the image of what they thought their child would be as an adult.  Others in the parental support group have major difficulties in this area, as they are dealing with their grief of not having a child growing up in the way originally expected.

What father doesn't want to see his son grow up to be just like him (in good ways)?  What mother doesn't want her daughter to grow up just like her (in good ways)?  It's hard on many parents to find out that their child is transgender.  There is no roadmap for this.  Parents have to "wing it" and find their way on their own, as many friends and family will insist that "this is only a phase the child is going through" or "this can be fixed with the right instruction."  But it's not.  Most transgender children know that there is something different about them from an early age.

In our conversation, I noted that I could never talk to my parents about being trans, nor can I talk to my brother about this today.  Most of my friends know I am trans, but some of my long time friends (who I haven't seen in years) would go nuts if they found out about this part of me.  So I have to be very careful, unless I want to burn bridges that I don't yet want to burn.  Thankfully, this trans child will likely not have this problem going through life, thanks to the their parents.

As I said earlier - their child is lucky to have these people as parents, and I am very glad that I know them.

I'm surprised that I never heard about this man before

 

The other day, I attended a meetup at a local brewpub where a weekly trivia night was being held.  Given that I am transgender, I was very surprised that I didn't know about this man, NYPD Detective Ori Harbor.

Mr. Harbor is the first openly transgender detective in the NYC Police Department.  I guess that my ignorance was caused by two things: (1) I rarely watch the old-line broadcast networks anymore, and (2) I often take it for granted that the LGBT community gets to participate fully in social life in this area.  

I will admit that I live in a news bubble that skews to the left these days.  But then, the American right wing has gone so far off the rails with its form of Christian White Nationalism. As a result, I discard much of what they have to say because their media of choice uses fear to keep people in line and to keep its plutocratic leaders in power.  

- - - - - -

A while back, I started saying that the one thing a MAGA supporter fears most are law abiding black men with guns, as they can't be intimidated (as a group) by threats of violence.  I'm glad that I have to amend this slightly, as I can include the LGBT community in the group that can't be intimidated.  With groups such as the Pink Pistols out there, I have growing faith that we can survive this wave of hatred and oppression that MAGA stands for.

 

The day after

 

In many ways, yesterday was a day which I needed assistance to get what I needed to do done.  Today was very different.  I had the freedom to do what I wanted - even if all I wanted to do was rest.  And rest I did.

- - - - - -

Yesterday was the end of a disrupted sleep cycle for me.  Today, I caught up on most of that sleep, not waking up until noon.  For many of us that would be a weekend luxury.  But for a retired person, one has the choice on when to sleep and when to be awake.  And I find that being awake well into the night allows me to enjoy the peace and quiet that only occurs on the graveyard shift.

When I finally got moving, I wasn't sure of whether I should go to the bank on co-op business or not.  I'm glad I put this off until tomorrow, as there was another check I had to get cut -and I didn't want to get dressed as Mario unless I didn't have to do so.  This allowed me even more free time before going to a trivia night meetup being held at a local brewpub.

Around 5:45 pm, I decided to get dressed to go to the brewpub.  Although the weather was cold outside, I decided to wear a comfortable dress and head off to Ossining.  I'd never been to the Sing Sing Kill brewpub before, and was pleasantly surprised to find it across the street from the local police station. Given that Spring street has been the dividing line between Ossining's nice and not so nice neighborhoods, it was nice to know that Ossining's government and businesses are working to make the village a better place to live.

At 7:00 pm, trivia night started.  By 8:00 pm, I was starting to feel tired.  None of the questions were in any of my strong fields of knowledge.  Even so, our group finished in second place.  I was glad to be out of there by 8:30 pm, and began to wake up while talking to TCL.  After I got home, I chatted with RQS, and then fell out for a while.  I guess it will take a little while longer until my body's circadian rhythm is back to my "normal".

I couldn't sleep, and I had a long day ahead of me

 

The above caricature seems fitting for today, as I had to go in for my colonoscopy today and then be awake enough to deal with a co-op board meeting.  Of course, I didn't get much sleep last night, so staying awake until I'm back home would be the most important thing on my mind.

- - - - - -

Around 6:00, I drank the last of the ghastly fluid, and I spent the next 2 hours treating myself like royalty - if you get what I mean.  And then I had the last liquid of the morning, as I wasn't allowed to have any fluids within 2 hours of my procedure.  Shortly afterward, I got myself ready to go to the hospital, and Vicki was waiting for me as scheduled.  She noted that it was a little bit of a surprise to see me as Mario today.  But then, she knows me in both modes, and part of her didn't realize that I'd have to present as Mario today.

Normally, I'd budget about 30 minutes to reach the hospital.  That's about how long it took, in spite of a few slow moving trucks that got in the way.  But we were there early, and that worked to our advantage, as I still had more paperwork to take care of when we got to the hospital.  And then it was upstairs to the floor where my procedure was to be performed.

Of course, my doctor was running late with other patients, and our expected procedure time was being delayed 30 minutes. Getting into my hospital gown, I realized that I'd be handing Vicki two of my most valuable things: my cellphone and wallet.  So I made sure to hand her these things before I packed my clothes into a small bag that would follow me into the procedure room and then to the recovery room.  At this point, I was "in for a penny, and in for a pound."  Any ambivalence I might have had became meaningless, as I was committed for the next 2-3 hours.

By the time the doctor was able to get around to me, he was an hour behind schedule.  Vicki noted that the doc looked like a famous singer - and I agreed with her.  Soon, I was whisked away to the procedure room, and was unconscious a few minutes later.  When I regained consciousness, I wasn't groggy, but I knew I was off.  Having Vicki with me gave me the confidence that nothing would be missed when the doc came to tell me what he found - nothing to worry about, but tissues were being sent to the lab just to be safe. Soon, I was dressed and ready to go.  Vicki and I went to the local diner where we both ate more than we should have.  The food was good, and well worth the extra calories.  And then I was dropped off at my apartment, where I'd spend the rest of the day.

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Once home, I took a nap, and woke up just in time to start the co-op zoom meeting.  It was a struggle to stay awake, as I was still recovering from both a lack of sleep and being anesthetized,  But I made it through the meeting, and was ready to go back to sleep once I finished my dinner....

The day before, counting down the hours

 

Today was one of the two days I dreaded this week; this was the day I had to start my prep for my colonoscopy.  And the "fun" began when I had to think about what my last solid meal would be and that I didn't have any yellow Jello in the house as I thought I had.

One of the "pleasures" of the day involve having a light meal before noon.  Given that one should have avoided vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds for two days before the procedure, this limits a person to meals high on protein.  (I wonder how my niece, a vegetarian would deal with this limitation.)  On the day before the procedure, one stops eating solid food and starts consuming both laxatives and fluids to purge the remaining "stuff" from the colon in advance of the procedure.  Given that I hate to wake up early, I knew that I had to do so in order to have something to eat before the noon deadline.

Two hours after the last meal comes the laxatives.  And you can guess what's coming next.  Another three hours go by, and then I start drinking some ghastly fluid geared to keep this queen on her throne as much as possible.  If I had my way, I'd have already started to feast on a huge steak.  But I'm following doctor's orders, and putting up with a little bit of hunger for the evening.  (I can only imagine how I'll be feeling once the procedure is completed tomorrow afternoon.)

Hopefully, I'll be able to go to sleep a bit early tonight, so that I can wake up early and finish off the remaining 32 ounces of the ghastly fluid.  

More on this tomorrow....

A woman's work is never done - A short post

 

Tonight, I left RQS to take care of things at home.  But I notice one thing about her: She's always trying to take care of the little things that I'll let sit for a while. As much as I am grateful for this, I also wish that she could put down her burdens for a while and relax a little.  And this got me thinking....

How much of what could be perceived as male laziness around the house can be attributed to women taking on responsibilities too quickly?

A while back, RQS had a situation where her brother should have stepped up and taken on some responsibilities on his own.  (I won't go into details here.)  He didn't step up, and she had to take on the bulk of these responsibilities.  What would have happened had she not stepped up?  Chaos to say the least. Why do women let men get away with this?

- - - - - -

Years ago, a Jewish woman and I had a conversation regarding the roles of men and women in the faith. One of the prayers that the men chant has a phrase that thanks god for not being born as women.  They recognized the role of women in the family, yet treated women as if they are subordinate.  What lazy bums!!!!  Shouldn't the men be taking on more responsibility to make their women's lives easier?  Instead, they seem to be giving thanks to be allowed to be deadbeats.

Similar attitudes can be found in many faiths and cultures.  And having been raised as a male, I absorbed some of these values when young, and have had to work to erase the dysfunctional subset of values from my belief system.  Yet I wonder: Why don't more women just say NO and let the system that enslaves them fall apart?