My paperwork is almost ready

 

As I've mentioned before, I am in the process of getting a second passport.  It's not just because I want to reconnect with the nation of my grandmother's birth, but it's also due to politics in the USA.

- - - - - - 

I've said many times that the Orange Snowflake is a threat to us all.  First, he has targeted transgenders.  Now, he's going after many of the Federal workers which help keep this nation running smoothly.  As I like to describe it, he's on his 2025 revenge tour for his loss in 2020.  He is not as popular as he once was, and the polling over the past few weeks shows a precipitous drop in public approval.  

So what does this mean?

If history is my guide, he will use political persecution as a means of distracting the public from the greater evil he is trying to hide.  As for me, I intend to have an exit plan, just in case things get much worse than they are now.

Right now, I am following this guide from one of the nations that I qualify for overseas birth citizenship:

Documents relating to the applicant (unless stated, originals must be submitted):

• Completed, signed and witnessed application form (see list of witnesses at 1 above)
• Original civil birth certificate (showing parental details)
• Original civil marriage certificate (if applicable) OR other change of name document (if applicable)
• Photocopy of current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers licence, national identity card) certified as a true copy of the original by application form witness
• 2 separate original proofs of address
• 4 colour photographs (2 of which to be witnessed) – do not attach these to the application form
• Documents relating to the xxxxx Citizen parent (unless stated, originals must be submitted):

Original civil birth certificate of xxxxx Citizen parent (showing parental details)

• Original civil marriage certificate of xxxxx Citizen parent (if applicable) OR other change of name document (if applicable)
• Photocopy of current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers license, national identity card) certified as a true copy of the original by a professional from the list of witnesses OR original civil death certificate (if applicable)
• Documents relating to the grandparent born in xxxxx (unless stated, originals must be submitted):

Original civil birth certificate of xxxxx born grandparent (showing parental details)

Original civil marriage certificate of xxxxx born grandparent (if applicable) OR other change of name document (if applicable)

Photocopy of current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers licence, national identity card) certified as a true copy of the original by a professional from the list of witnesses

OR

Original civil death certificate (if applicable)

 

All I need to do right now is get a copy of my grandmother's death certificate, get my proofs of address, pay my application fee, get the application form notarized, and send it in.   Right now, they are processing applications sent in during November.  So if all goes right, I'll be sending in my paperwork in March and getting my second passport around my birthday.  It won't be as dramatic as getting the Letters of Transit in the movie, Casablanca.  But it will have just as good a result for me, if things go very sour here....

I'm dying to ask this person a question

 

No, I am not talking about asking this character any questions.   He is the one making war against us transgender people.  However, I know someone who supported him once, and I would love to find out how she's doing, and what this war means to her....

- - - - - -

A while back, I met this acquaintance in Brooklyn.  Although we've met several times before, this was the first time in years that I've been to Downtown Brooklyn.  It was cold (like today) and it was dark.  But it was before the 2024 election, and this person was a supporter of the Orange Snowflake - even though she is a post-op trans-woman.

 

Neither of us had problems being able to talk with someone with different views.  Yet, I always wondered what would happen to trans folk, if the Snowflake was elected - especially, knowing the radical Christianist Nationalists he owes big time for their votes.  Within a few days of the election, we had our answer - the Snowflake has tried to erase transgenders from society, even having the gall to take the T off of the LGBT at Stonewall National Historic Site.

I do not know in which state my acquaintance was born, but I have a strong feeling that it will be hard for her to renew her passport when the time comes.  How will she feel that she is under attack from the very man she supported for president?  Will this be the first of many things that could be denied her because she is caught in the middle of a culture war?

Sooner or later, I will reach out to her and try to get together.  Right now, I sent a text message saying hello.  It's hard to hate people without reason, and most GOP'ers have a sense of ethics.  Sadly, as 1930's history has proven, it is easy for some people to develop a cult and cause people to ignore their own inner compasses for the sake of group loyalty and out of fear of being persecuted.

How would you feel in her size-13W shoes?

How do you talk to a friend named Maria....

 

I've known my friend Maria for almost as long as I've lived in my apartment.  We worked together near the beginning of our careers, and we've kept in contact with each other through the loss of my wife, her divorce, and the loss of her second husband.  Neither of us has been available when the other has been free, and that's a plus for a good friendship.  I'm probably the only person who can say that she slept in my bed every night for several months, and there was nothing immoral about it.  (I lent her a folding cot with thick mattress, as her ex-husband stole all of the bedroom furniture in the house.  My 'bed' was over 35 miles away when she slept in it.)

Maria knows me both as Mario and as Marian, and is comfortable with me in both presentations.  She leans to the right politically, while I lean to the left.  And yet, she finds what is going on in DC these days very disturbing.  So, when I started discussing politics, she didn't challenge me on the facts - she knew that the Orange Snowflake is up to no good.

The real reason for us getting together was to have lunch - we haven't been able to do so in months.  The secondary reason was to have some paperwork notarized.  Over lunch, I found out that her two grand-kids are living at home again, and that the eldest has already entered puberty.  (If I ever go through that experience again, it will be because of estrogen, not testosterone, like my first puberty.  But I digress.)  The younger of the two grand-kids is still cute.  I can only imagine what it will be like when this child enters puberty.  As you can guess, when a grandmother is raising her grandchildren, it takes a lot of energy out of a person, leaving little left for her volunteer work and for her social life.

Lunch lasted over 2 hours, and at the end, she notarized some of the documents I'll need to apply for my second passport.  And then, we left Cold Spring to go our separate ways....

- - - - - -

I had no energy when I got home, and it was all I could to so that 2 loads of laundry could get done.  By the time it was done, I had decided to blow off game night for a change.  I never do this.  But with RQS coming up tomorrow, I wanted to be ready for her arrival in the afternoon.

Later in the evening, RQS and I got into a long discussion about my brother, the family homestead, and interactions with  both friends and family.  I mentioned my friend Nan from the AOL Widows/Widowers chat room (long disbanded) and a wish to visit her in the "North Country"  RQS was up for it (she wanted some new photo opportunities), so I sent a DM to Nan to see if it would be OK.  Hopefully, she will be up for visitors, as I know that people in their 80's don't have a lot of life in front of them....

Waiting for a washer/dryer set.

 

This was the day I dreaded - a morning rush to get RQS to her pottery class, followed by a lot of waiting in a "cold" house for a washer and dryer to be delivered and installed.

- - - - - -

RQS and I set our alarms to get us up and moving at the ungodly hour (for us) of 8 am.  I was the first one in the shower, and I was ready to go out by 9 am.  However, we didn't need to be at the pottery studio until 10 am.  So that gave us 30 minutes to kill.

I was glad to be able to drive RQS to the studio - I'd have never found it on my own without Google Maps.  But I did take the slow route to Long Island afterwards, as I had a lot of time to kill.  When I arrived in my old neighborhood, I started shopping for a doorbell. Although I saw one in the local hardware store, the price wasn't as good as I wanted for an inexpensive piece of Chinese crap.  (I wanted something inexpensive, but didn't have a cheap look or feel to it.)  So, I'll bring up the idea with my brother that we should buy something a little bit better when the place is ready to be rented out.

Arriving at the old homestead at 11:30, I set things up and began my wait.  This was not going to be a day where being out as Marian would be practical, especially with the possibility that my brother may stop by if installation runs late.  Fortunately, we had a table and chair available for me, and I proceeded to make myself at home for a while.

 

The delivery truck came a little bit before 2 pm, and then the "fun" began.  It was interesting to see how 2 people could "comfortably" carry a washer and a dryer up and down steps without a hand truck, then install the appliances in the basement.  Within 30 minutes, everything was set up, and I was ready to go home.

Next, I'll have to find some time to be around when the hot water heater is installed....

I didn't originally plan to be at RQS's place today (a short post)

 

Normally, I might try to put more effort into a topic for a post.  Today is very different.  We have a washer/dryer set being delivered to the family homestead, and I have to be around the house tomorrow waiting for the delivery.  Given that I didn't want to risk being late for the delivery, I decided to drive RQS home and stay at her place for the night.

- - - - - -

I would usually drop RQS off at the station on Mondays, and I would have the rest of the week to myself.  Not this week.  I packed up minimal supplies (my CPAP machine, a change of clothes, and the computer I'm writing this post on) and drove to RQS's place.  We arrived around 2 pm, and I easily found a spot within eyesight of her building's front door.

Given the frigid weather outside, neither of us wanted to go out for dinner.  So, it was Chinese delivery.  What Chippies are to the UK, "Chinese" joints are to the US - ubiquitous in almost every town.  None of them serve the exact same food, as their offerings are not as standardized as a McDonald's.  But they will serve a typical set of food selections that will fill you up for at least 59 minutes.  (As the old canard goes: Eat Chinese food, and in 60 minutes, you'll be hungry again.)

For the most part, it was a nothing-burger of a day.  Tomorrow, on the other hand, will be a rush, followed up by a lot of waiting.

President's Day - a look back

 

In the picture above, we could literally look up to images of four great presidents carved into a mountain.  All of these men had major flaws.  Yet, we consider all of them important enough to commemorate in stone - something none of them would have asked for or wanted.  

Today, we have a malignant narcissist in the office of President.  Every chance he gets, he attends a sporting event for a photo-op, where he now gets booed more than he gets cheered.  At the Super Bowl, his minions arranged for an Air Force flyover.  One catch - the game was being held in a domed stadium. At the Daytona 500, he had the nerve to have "The Beast" do a lap around the course.  At least, Nascar fans skew more to the right, and he got some cheers.  I expect that his handlers will fine tune where he makes his next appearances, as they don't want to be subject to his anger if he realizes that he is not loved by all Americans.

What I find galling is that the Orange Snowflake's minions are trying to put him into the pantheon of great presidents.  One congresscritter has proposed making his birthday a national holiday.  None of the presidents on Mount Rushmore would have had the nerve to ask for that.  Even worse, another MAGA personality has suggested carving his face next to the other four presidents.  Although neither of these offensive things are likely to happen, it's galling that people would even propose this while the man is alive - before history has has a generation to judge this man's accomplishments.

The other day, a friend posted something to Facebook.  A MAGA troll responded to her with misinformation, and I had to get involved.  The troll cited the "Twittersphere" as a source for his "information" for his reply. He supplied me with a government posting taken out of context, and I replied with the context of that government posting.  He never said what could cause him to change his mind about the leader of his cult - he had drunk the Kool-Aid, and is beyond rescue.

I feel sad that America has come to this.  Hopefully, we'll see a change for the better soon. 

Weekends are good for resting

 

When RQS and I are together, we tend to relax more fully than usual.  I find that when I sleep when she's around, I end up noticing that I dream more often than not.  In short, I am getting the REM sleep that I need to recharge my batteries.  RQS seems to find it the same way when she's with me, as she seems to have vivid dreams when I'm with her.

Most of the time, we don't bother getting up until 11:00 am or later.  For the most part, it's because we have nothing pressing to do.  Yet, we tend to get everything done that needs doing.  For example, RQS arrived earlier than expected this past Thursday, and I didn't have the time to clean up enough before her arrival.  So, this is what we did on Saturday for a couple of hours - and it shows.  My dining table is less filled with clutter than it has been in years.

- - - - - -

Sunday came, and neither of us got moving until the morning was almost over.  But today, we lazed around until late afternoon, then went out for pizza.  Due to the recent weather, I decided to present as Mario today and take RQS out for dinner.  The drive to Pizza and Brew in Greenburgh was like driving through pea soup - there was almost no visibility, and RQS was concerned about driving conditions for the return trip.  The restaurant was empty when we arrived, and we had enough pizza for leftovers tomorrow.

Luckily, the return home was much easier than the drive to the restaurant.  The heavy fog had turned into rain, and we had greater visibility when we left the restaurant.  Both of us were glad, as I didn't want to deal with the fog.  On the way home, my brother called and talked about the washer/dryer installation scheduled for later in the week.  He was apologetic for the screwed up date, but I told him that I rescheduled lunch with my friend, "short Vicki".  (Vicki and I are tentatively rescheduled for later in the week.)

Soon enough, we were in for the night.  Assuming all goes right, tomorrow will be a day out as Marian.

Valentine's Day has come and gone.

The one reason RQS came up to my place this weekend was that I had made reservations at Hudson House Inn and Restaurant for a nice romantic dinner. This gave me the opportunity to finally wear a pretty dress from Lane Bryant that has been hanging on my door for several months. (My dress is in the same style as in the above photo, but in a nice violet color.)

If you recall, our original plans for Thanksgiving dinner were fouled up by RQS's hospital stay.  This time, we made sure that no problems would get in the way of a romantic dinner.  RQS came up the day before, and we made sure to have enough time to make it to Cold Spring with time to spare.

We made it to the restaurant on time, and proceeded to have a wonderful dinner starting with crab cakes, salmon with crab meat stuffing, and finished with an apple tart.  Both of us enjoyed people-watching there, as some people dressed to the nines for the evening, and others were very casual.  We were somewhere in the middle with our dresses, wearing outfits which would fit in a dressy environment, but could be dressed down as needed for other environments.

At home, we exchanged Valentine's day gifts.  I was very lucky that RQS's gift was delivered on time, as I didn't want to be empty handed when she gave me my gift.  It was a nice day, and a good start to the weekend.

It's amazing how many places a single credit card is used

 

A year and a half ago, I had my wallet stolen, and had to get replacements for all the cards I had in it.  This wasn't as much of a problem as it seemed, as I was lucky to have done everything right.  However, another card of mine was affected in a data breach, and I found that one of my auto-debits wouldn't work as expected.  Knowing that this would cause me a problem if I didn't resolve it quickly, I decided to get things fixed today, with a little more than a week to go until the next auto-debit.

- - - - - -

Last June, I signed up for a deal with Princess Promotions  where I would get "concierge service", a $3000 credit on my next cruise, $350 in hotel credits, and a 5 night premium hotel stay.  One problem.  This deal is not from Princess Cruises, but a sub par online travel agency using Princess' name and goodwill.  Given that I could get better deals for hotel stays from booking.com or orbitz.com, I realized that this deal wasn't so great and accepted that I would likely lose $500 in the deal.  What I didn't plan on is the credit card I used for payments would get compromised, and a new card number issued just before my last cruise.

Given that the next payment would be coming due soon, I tried to log on to see how I could change my payment method.  And no option was provided.  So now, I had to make a phone call to get this fixed, and I went through a gauntlet to get this done.  If it weren't for the fact that we were getting close to final payment date for my Alaska cruise, I would not have worried so much.  But now, this task is done, and I hope done properly.  Otherwise, I'll have to go through another gauntlet to get things fixed properly so that we can go on our cruise later this year.

- - - - - -

When the data breach occurred and my card got compromised, I had it connected to Uber, Lyft, Curb, EZ-Pass, OMNY, Metrocard, and other services.  I still don't have a complete list yet, but I'll stumble into them as new charges are made by these services.

It could be much worse....

I never used a debit card, and see where that got me.

 

As I've mentioned before, my brother and I own a rental property on Long Island.  After several years of renting the house to tenants, we made the decision to replace the washer and dryer as we refresh the place for our next set of tenants.  Today, I would have bought the above laundry set, save that the debit card for the joint account had expired.

- - - - - -

I was originally scheduled to meet RO for lunch today.  However, her sister is having health problems, and she must help her sister out in time of need.  But where did this leave me?  I now had a free day where I could order a washer/dryer combination and schedule delivery for a time convenient for me to be in Long Island.  So, I decided to get dressed as Mario and drive to Yonkers.

Once in Yonkers, I made sure to check whether there would be any problems with the card, as both ATM cards could be connected to both my personal and our joint account.  (I wanted 2 cards, so that my personal card would always link to my personal checking account, and that the "business" card would always link to the joint account.)  Well, when I went to the ATM, I found that the business card had expired.  Since I wasn't going to use my personal account for the transaction, I called my brother and told him about this glitch, and said that I'd send him the information about the washer/dryer that he now had to buy.

Since I no longer had to go into the appliance store, I figured that I'd go to the cell phone store and pick up some swag they were giving away.  Unlike past swag offers, they were not giving away this item at all of their stores.  I just got lucky and got mine at the store in Yonkers that was near the bank.  And then, I was on my way home for the night.

- - - - - -

Having arrived home, I rested for a while before opening the co-op board meeting.  It's now a pleasure to have meetings that last only 2 hours.  However, we still have a lot of problems to deal with, as we're still dealing with the fallout from our prior managing agent's mismanagement of things.  While on this zoom meeting, I received a message from DCD's ex girlfriend. (I'll call her NDC for now.)   His tumor has returned - bigger than ever.  So, I ended up chatting with her for an hour or so, and found out more details about his life.  His mom bailed out his car, but kicked him out of the house.  Now, he mostly lives out of his car, going to his ex's house to wash and clean up.  This has put some stress into her relationship with her current boyfriend.  She effectively has a grown up stray that needs taking care of, and she (with current boyfriend) have set boundaries for taking care of this stray.  Hopefully, when he goes into the hospital for his next surgery and for chemo, they will be stuck with the responsibility of finding a hospice for him to spend his final days.

While we're talking about DCD, I have to mention that NDC emailed DCD's mom to tell her about DCD's health concerns.  NDC feels that almost everyone in DCD's family orbit is a little F'd up to say the least.  His mom has a room which was prepared for her late husband to spend his final days, and won't let DCD stay there for his final days.  DCD's kids know that he's not long for this world, yet they won't renew contact with him.  (NDC has no idea of why DCD's kids hate him, but we think it's because of DCD's ex wife poisoning the well of affection between them.)  DCD's ex wife may have felt that she could have found a better man, and her resentment could have been the root cause of their divorce.  Strangely enough, DCD's ex was the only person in his current and former family to show an inkling of caring for each other.

When DCD dies, and I expect it to happen this year, I will attend the funeral (if I'm not on a cruise) in female presentation. NDC has only seen me as Marian, though she knows I'm transgender.  DCD's family will not remember me, much less realize anything is amiss.  It'll be a sad day, but it'll be the least I can do to pay my respects.

Why are some people afraid and repulsed by Transgenders?

 

Why are some people afraid and repulsed by Transgender folk?

 

The above question is something that has been on my mind as of late.  Could it be religion?  Could it be a lack of a strong definition of self identity?  Could it be fear of what others might think of us and do to us?  There are so many reasons, but I think it goes back to the urge to reproduce.

Reproduction is a major effort for most species.  In primate species, the male has it easy - impregnate the female and the absolute need for his existence has ended.  However for the female, her body undergoes changes to accommodate the dependent life within her and eventually expels that life.  But the female's role is not over, as she usually has to take care of her offspring until they are ready to reproduce themselves. In our species, we have evolved to have our males contribute to the effort of raising our offspring, providing an evolutionary protection the premature loss of a parent. (This will vary between cultures.)  I'll admit that this is an oversimplification of something all of us know all too well.  But I think it's the fear of wasting our chances to reproduce that is the root of the fear of transgender people.

The fear of transgenders comes from something people fear: we can break out of virtually all socially assigned roles if we want.  Gender is the first thing people ask about when a baby is born.  A humorous example of this is a joke from the movie Addams Family Values:

Family Members: "What is it?"

Gomez Addams: "It's an Addams!"

The beauty of this line is that the answer is perfectly correct.  But it is not what the questioner wanted to know.  

I believe that sexual preference, sexual identity, and external sexual characteristics are all forms of intersex conditions that are baked into the person while in the womb.  "Normally," the vast majority of people are born as, identify as, and prefer the genders which society would assign at birth.  Statistics show that the lesbian and gay population may be somewhere between 3%-5% of the population. Transgender adults are about 0.5% of the population, and the rest of intersex people are about 0.05% of the population.  Given that most people never have their genes analyzed, they never know whether they are among those who have male external genitalia but have XX chromosomes, or among those who have female genitalia but have XY chromosomes.  Let's not get into all of the potential intersex conditions here.  Simply put, science conflicts with cultural norms, and we're in the middle of a culture war against our will.

The recent edict from the Orange Snowflake looks to deny our existence.  Hopefully, most of my transgender readers have been able to file paperwork for federal government IDs long before the snowflake shut things down for most of us. But this is not just a problem that affects transgender people.  For example, I knew a cisgender female who was mistakenly identified as a male on a Tennessee driver's license.  If she had to fix this problem today, the snowflake's edict would make this impossible.

But what should one do if one is young and pre-op transgender?  My first recommendation would only work if one lived in a state which allows gender markers to be changed AND allows for amended birth certificates.  DO NOT GET FEDERAL ID UNTIL YOU HAVE CHANGED GENDER MARKERS ON ALL STATE IDS ON FILE.  For example, If you live in California, do not travel on aircraft, or travel outside the US until you have your gender marker updated on all documents you may need to file with the Feds.  If this can't be done in your state, get your name changed to one acceptable for males and females, then dress and present androgynously when applying for federal id. This way, you will likely be ignored (as you would want) when going through TSA checkpoints. But most important of all - don't be flashy.  Just blend in as much as possible until this reign of terror is over.

There is too much information on me that is available to the public.  Therefore, I can't go into hiding.  Instead, I can go stealth on my way out of the country.  Others don't have it this lucky, and might as well lead protests as long is prudent.  Remember, our borders will be protected against intrusions, and not against people leaving - for now.   

What happens when you can't leave for whatever reason?  What can you do?  As I see it, one will need to migrate to areas of the country where one can blend in with a crowd.  People in Northeastern and West Coast large cities tend to be more tolerant of people of different styles, as these regions have been hot spots for immigration for generations.  They have attracted the risk takers, people who are willing to live completely different lives than their pasts would ordain for them.  Yet, one will always need to be on the lookout for others who would cause them harm.  

I can't understand the hatred of transgenders anymore, as I have learned to accept people who are very different than I am as long as we both interact with each other respectfully and with compassion.  The other day, I heard Warren Buffett tell a story about people who survived the Holocaust.  He noted that his judgement of people is based on whether they would hide someone from being scooped up in a pogrom and be sent to their deaths.  A truly wealthy person would have many friends who would help him/her hide from danger.  Build up those friendships now, as you may need them in the future.

 

Now, we have proof that checks and balances no longer apply

 

This should be a short post.  As I write this, it is 3 weeks into the reign of the Orange Snowflake, and no one is stopping him.  If his party wouldn't do it, one might think that he'd listen to the courts.  But, as John Belushi might say: 

But Noooooooo!

This president is now ignoring the courts.  One can't say that this wasn't expected.  But not so soon.  The guardrails are off, and this country is heading into 4+ years of hell.  I can't say if Americans will rise up in revolt.  But I can say that ALL law abiding Americans should exercise their 2nd Amendment rights and form a "well regulated militia" (as mentioned in our constitution.  One never knows when one might need to use the powers of that right.

- - - - - -

Years ago, there was an uprising in the Warsaw ghetto.  Although it was short lived, and futile in one sense, the ghetto Jews kept the Nazis at bay for a good amount of time.  They practiced guerrilla warfare on their own turf.  This is the reason our founding fathers may have been thinking of when they wrote this amendment to our constitution - they didn't trust the government to act within the law, as they has just overthrown the rule of a malignant British despot.

Am I afraid?  Yes.  I never believed that our country could sit back and let someone like this take over. Sadly, we have history to tell us what could happen.  I hope that the "Pink Pistols" get a lot of new members soon, as I expect the LGB community will be next in the snowflake's crosshairs.

A snowy weekend - and I left my car at home.

 

I had planned to be with RQS this weekend, but this put me at risk of getting fined by my co-op.  By the time I would get home, I expected to clear off 7" of snow from my car and possibly get dinged with a fine from my co-op.

- - - - - -

Friday started with laundry - 3 loads of it.  By the time I was packed, out the door, and on my way to RQS's place, it was 2-3 hours later than expected.  I didn't make it to RQS's place until 7:30 pm.  Luckily, she had already started to cook dinner when I left the subway and transferred to the bus to her house. The rest of the evening wasn't that exciting.  We fell into our usual routine and watched a couple of movies before felling asleep.

Saturday came, and with it, the exterminator.  Each month, the exterminator is scheduled to take care of RQS's building, and today was the day.  Once his visit was over, it was off to the library to drop off some books, and then to one of our go-to restaurants for a bite to eat.  They were about to close, so we decided to get this food to-go and eat it at home.

Around 7 pm, the snow started to fall and I knew we were in for the night.  Although we weren't planning on doing anything this evening, it made me feel a little worried - if I didn't get home early enough on Sunday, I could have some problems with my co-op.  As they say, "the die is cast", and I would deal with things after getting home.

Sunday came, and there was less snow on the ground than expected.  Even with this, I figured that I should leave RQS's place a bit early, so that I could shovel out my car in daylight and move it back into my assigned spot.  This way, the co-op has less of an opportunity to ding me for not getting my car into the street so that the driveways could be cleared.  I left RQS around 1 pm, and made it to Grand Central in the nick of time to make the 1:50 train to Croton.  By 3:00 pm, I was home, and had a chance to finish this post before shoveling some snow....

- - - - - -

On other matters....

It looks like the Orange Snowflake is trying to put the LGBTIQ community back in the closet.  (Not that we didn't know this already.)  We've seen him give executive orders to (fr now) make it impossible to get a gender marker changed on federal documents, as well as erasing any statistics that refer to LGBTIQ's from federal websites.  This is the first step among many in which he intends to hurt us.

Why do I mention this?

Stalin made sure that no statistics were kept for his reign of terror.  It is estimated that 28 million people lost their lives in the gulags while he was in power.  We may not be able to stop the Snowflake from deleting our history for now.  But we can throw a wrench into his plans in regard to another at risk group - the illegal immigrants.  How, you may ask?  Get congress to act by requiring that accurate statistics be kept.  The public has a right to know how much the Snowflake's removal efforts are costing, as well as being able to know how many illegals of each category are being removed.  The more data we have, the more tools we can have to force congress to act when the time is right.

Right now, GOP members of the house and senate are afraid of losing power.  What they don't know is by surrendering their chambers' powers to the Snowflake and the SA Nazi (Musk), they are surrendering their own power and won't get it back.  We've seen this happen before.  But now, we can take a different path of activism.  Lawsuits can be filed in friendly federal courts, and slow down the march to tyranny.  I suggest that everyone buy copies of On Tyranny, and How Democracies Die to understand what is going on, and how we can cause the Snowflake some grief.

The apartment is a total mess, and I can't find the energy to do anything.

 

OK, this is only a slight exaggeration - I don't find my energy until the afternoon is half over, and it doesn't make sense to do many things.  Yet, I feel that my lethargy is getting in the way of life as I once knew it.

- - - - - - 

One of the problems I have is a reluctance to deal with people when advocating for myself.  It's my simple reluctance to have potentially stressful interactions with people coming to play.  By nature, I am not a dominant person.  Instead, I am a person who likes to head off in one direction with as little interference as possible.  And I have been lucky enough to have the resources to do just that in my adult life.

My lethargy gets in the way of me doing simple tasks such as doing laundry on a regular basis.  So, it piles up until I have no other alternative but to do several loads at once.  This can be a pain in the ass at times, but I've noticed it getting in the way of being social with others.  Yesterday, I had a meetup that I went to, but could have just as easily bailed out on it - I was tired enough to have stayed in bed a bit longer.

- - - - - -

With all that being said, I still find it energizing to go out in the world as Marian.  Being my true self provides me with the energy I need to go out and live life.  I wonder how many older transgender folks feel the same way as I do?

Sometimes, the answer is simple.

 

A little over a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned an email I wrote to DCD.  The email was critical of his inability to be honest with people, or to manage the responsibilities which a normal adult would manage. And I think I know why this bothers me so much - I used to be a bit like DCD, and grew out of that stage of life. Sometimes, a person just has to grow up and act like an adult.  It took me much longer than it should have for me to be an adult myself, and I hurt the feelings of a lot of people along my way to adulthood (while legally being an adult.)  

- - - - - -

There is still a part of me where childishness exists, an ability to tap into my inner child and experience the world with a sense of wonder. Yet, the adult part of me is cynical and world-weary.  The other day, I had a conversation with my brother talking about how hard his adult life has been.  (He raised 2 children of his own, as well as dealing with his wife's son from her first marriage.)  Both the wife and stepson developed substance addictions, and my brother has had to deal with her issues for the better part of 3 decades.  Then he mentioned my issues, saying that I didn't have that easy a life.  In short, we both understood that life hasn't been easy for either of us and that we appreciate where we are in life.

When I was last with my brother, he handed me a letter that my dad meant for me to read after he died.  It was a good thing to read, as I felt it said something that my dad couldn't say while he was alive.  The letter read:

Dear Mario

Please don't mourn for me too much.

I know it will be tough for you, my not being there for you..

Always look back at the good times we had during our vacations.

Mom and I both loved you very much; we know this was no picnic for you.  But you were strong enough to manage it.

Always stay in touch with your brother and the family, as they will sustain you when things get rough.

Remember to keep your head about you before you speak and act.

This is not a lecture for you, but advice.

I love you very much, even though I did not tell you often enough.

Working to keep the wolf away from the door took up a lot of both mother's and my time.  We may not have given you the attention you may have wanted or needed.

However, we did care, and loved you more than you will ever know.

Keep fond memories of both mom and I in your heart and don't let things get you down.

Love Dad.

Well, I felt much better after reading this letter. No, it didn't change things.  Yet, it did say the things my dad couldn't say to me while he was alive.  My dad was the type of man who I was glad to have as a father.  He did the best he could, given that he had a limited education and had to always hustle to keep the same roof over our heads until adulthood.  And I think he was proud of the adults my brother and I became towards the end of his life.

- - - - - -

So, back to DCD....

He's turning 60 soon, and he doesn't have a pot to piss in.  He has no wife, no girlfriend, no career, and will eventually be unable to run home to his mom.  (She's nearing 90 years old, and I can't see her outliving DCD.)  He'll have to become an adult, even if that means admitting that he's unable to take care of himself and has to ask for help.

His answer is simple: He has to "Man Up" and be an adult while he can. Otherwise, I see him spiraling towards oblivion, dying alone with no one caring if he lives or dies.  Hopefully, he will make the right choice soon.

"Who is John Galt?" (A question that has as much meaning today as it did decades ago.)

 

Normally, I would not be citing Ayn Rand as one of the people who influenced me. She had little compassion for others, and she felt that it was the duty of the prime movers of society to withhold their contributions to that society when second stringers try to take what isn't theirs.  Answering the question "Who is John Galt?" is central to the theme of Atlas Shrugged, as it is John Galt who starts his own revolution against the bandits of society.

As much as I do not believe in Rand's values, I feel that she raised some important questions, questions whose answers were just as important now as when the book was written.  The most important of these questions is what happens when a prime mover is caught in a kleptocracy who wants to steal creations to feather their nests instead of benefiting society.  

It's been a month since the Orange Snowflake has been in office, and we're seeing him attempting to dismantle the social infrastructure which has allowed the common person a sense of security in society.  Medicaid was designed so that the poorest of Americans would have some access to healthcare, and yet its budget is at risk, so that the richest of Americans can get tax breaks.  

Ayn Rand would probably not approve of what America has evolved into, but I think she would be appalled at a government led by a felonious grifter, a man only interested in gaining wealth and power without caring how his actions affect others.  To Rand, there was a nobility in a capitalist who produces something of value, such as Henry Ford and his automobiles, Thomas Edison and his electrical devices, as well as too many others to count.  She would be a palled at the minimally qualified (at best) to be in the Snowflake's cabinet, as well as the party hacks who would ignore his criminality to remain in positions of power.

In a way, Rand's work is as relevant as ever, but not in the way she intended.  When a society has developed a safety net meant to protect its citizens in times of need, would she advocate for its dismantling to enrich society's "bandit class"?  I doubt it. She would likely be advocating for it to be made as efficient as possible, so that as little money as possible is taken from the productive class of that society.  She may not have believed in such a safety net.  But she likely would be just as (if not more) appalled that a bandit class is trying to take that wealth for itself.

I don't recall Rand saying much against the poorest members of society.  There would always be marginalized classes in society (racial discrimination, ethnic discrimination, gender discrimination, etc.) and she believed that market forces would eventually correct these evils.  However, she could not see that there were some problems which could not be resolved in the marketplace, nor could she see any situations where markets could fail. She neglects problems that could only be solved with non market based solutions.  A good example of this would be eliminating Jim Crow in America's south.  The powers that were depended on a subservient black labor force to maintain a corrupt society.  Only by external pressure and non market solutions could this problem be addressed.  And the Orange Snowflake appears to be willing to reinstate that way of life to pay off his friends in the bandit class.

Having read Atlas Shrugged, I feel that Rand was advocating a rebellion against the bandit class by withholding support of their regimes.  Only do business with honorable businessmen, and let the society corrupted by the bandits collapse on its own. Years ago, the movie "Network" made famous the phrase: "I'm made as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"  Maybe, just maybe, someone has to be the first to strike out against he bandit class.  Hopefully, Luigi Mangione was the first person who says for all of us, that we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore.

One month down, Forty Seven more to go.

 

As I write this, we have seen serious damage done to our democratic institutions.  We now have a government which no longer wants to check and balance the power of the chief executive.  

- - - - - -

We have already seen incompetent yes-men confirmed to the Orange Snowflake's cabinet.  We have already seen threats against our most important trading partners that resulted in making us a pariah among nations.  (Did we really need to threaten a trade war to stroke the Orange Grifter's ego?) We are seeing a government in the act of destroying itself from within.  In the guise of "America First", we are destroying the "soft power" we had to influence nations.  In the guise of making government more efficient, we now have incompetent cronies running their areas of the government, making the government less efficient.

Let's look at the Department of Education.  It's targeted for elimination by this regime.  What will happen to its functions?  Will the handicapped be able to get the assistance needed to get an appropriate education?  (I doubt it.)  Will the poor students still get the breakfasts and lunches needed, so that they can function in school?  (I doubt it.)  Will we have anyone responsible for holding the states accountable to see that students' rights are respected?  (Absolutely not!)

The best example of the nonsensical appointments being made by the Orange Snowflake is RFK Jr.  Here's a man who rallied against vaccinations, a tool which helped eliminate diseases such as polio in the United States.  He claims that he will respect science, but his track record proves he will not.  Having met the man once, all I can say about him is that he is a Kennedy male.  (Read into that what you will.)  But I think that the worm he says ate part of his brain affected his common sense.

- - - - - -

As Margo Channing said: "Fasten your seat belts, this is going to be a bumpy ride."

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Follow-up Thoughts (02/03/25)

 

This was a day that I completed some tasks, but left more of them undone.  There's the old adage that one needs a vacation following a vacation to recharge from the first vacation.  And that seems true for the two of us.  RQS rushed to make final payment for our New England/Eastern Canada cruise - I guess she wants to make sure that the cruise is paid for while she has the money to pay for the cruise.  (And I can't blame her for doing so.)  I'll pay my share of the remaining monies owed later on this week.  And then we can look into a Bermuda cruise to be taken earlier in the spring.

- - - - - -

I never thought that I'd warm up to MSC cruises after my December 2023 cruise to Florida and the Bahamas.  However both the cruise line and I have changed a bit since then.  The ship has improved its food and entertainment offerings since my last cruise, and I have developed realistic expectations for an inexpensive cruise on this ship. Given the price of cruising these days, MSC has become much more attractive than it used to be for me. I know how to get value from their cruises, and I know not to use them for "bucket list" cruises.

There are times where I miss cruising with my former cruise partner.  Yet, we got into a big rut over time.  Although I made a big mistake which ended our friendship, I still look upon the times we had together as good times.  Yet, these were times that couldn't last forever.  Cruising with her took time away from what I should have been spending with my then girlfriend.  This time around, I make sure that RQS comes with me, with a rare exception or two.

If more cruise lines offered true solo cabins at a reasonable price, I'd have considered cruising more often.  However, I often find that on the lines that do offer solo cabins, the prices for these cabins often exceed that of a double occupancy cabin.  So, it is nice to again have a partner to sail with - especially one who is also my romantic interest.

- - - - - -

There are many places to go and so little time and money available to make those trips possible.  Hopefully, I will soon have the resources to do another bucket list trip.  I'll inform my readers if that does happen....

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Debarkation Day (02/02/25)

 

Our ship was situated outside New York harbor until roughly 5 am, when the ship started to make port in Brooklyn and end our cruise. The above picture was taken from the ship's port side camera's TV feed.  It's far from the same view when taken from a balcony cabin.

- - - - - -

Neither RQS nor I got enough sleep overnight, and I was awake from 3 am onwards.  Around 7 am, we went to the main dining room for one last time for breakfast.  A lady at the table next to us was on the same cruise I was on for my first MSC cruise, and had similar opinions as I did regarding that cruise. Luckily for us, this cruise was much better all around - the food was better and the entertainment was better.  Yet, service was still hit or miss. Our conversation turned to the day's politics, and people at the table next to her joined in - none of us liked what the Orange Snowflake was doing in DC.

Once breakfast was over, we killed time waiting for our disembarkation group to be called.  Our number was called shortly before 9:30 am, and we proceeded to pick up our luggage and kill time inside the terminal, avoiding having to spend excess time in the cold waiting for a ferry that would take us to Atlantic avenue where we'd summon an Uber.  I noticed that staff was allowing handicapped people to take a shortcut and bypass the snaking line leading to the Customs/Immigration stations on our way out of the building.  So I told RQS to take out her cane, and we saved 15 minutes which we'd spend waiting for the ferry. The ferry came at 10:35, and we were at Atlantic avenue by 11 am, and the Uber got us back to RQS's place by 11:30 am.  However, I would still have to wait before I could go home - my brother couldn't pick me up until 4 pm.  So, I rested a while, and my brother arrived when expected.  

We were at the family homestead 30 minutes later, and we discussed what was needed to bring the house up to snuff for rental.  In addition to absolutely needed repairs, we may end up adding a half bath in the basement to increase the rent we can charge. Then, finally, I loaded my bags into my car and drove home.  With a stop for dinner and some food shopping factored in, it didn't take me long to get home.  Finally, I can sleep in my own bed again!

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Sea Day (02/01/25)

 

This would be the last day for us on the ship.   This would be the last day that we could leave our towels on the floor and have them replaced with clean ones by the room steward.  This would be the day where we would have to pack our suitcases and leave them by the door, so that we could pick them up at the pier. And this would be the day that I'd start itemizing what the cruise line did right and did wrong, preparing to write an email to the cruise line's customer service department.

But what would I write about?

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the questionable service in the main dining room for breakfast, brunch, and lunch.  Unlike dinner service (where you sit at the same table, at the same time, and are served by the same staff), breakfast, brunch and lunch service has people sitting at random tables, at random times during the meal's dining schedule, and has multiple servers providing uncoordinated service.  One could place a meal order with one person, have a bar order taken by a second person, and food delivered by a third.  It seems like no one is talking to each other during morning and afternoon meals, leaving many cruisers unhappy.  To make things worse, our lunch server reached over the table next to us to hand us our dessert plates.  If I were running a restaurant, this would be unacceptable service.

Like the closet in my studio cabin on my first cruise with this line, the closet in our cabin has hinged doors.  This is not a problem when a cabin has enough space for doors to open, like our current interior cabin.  But this is a big problem for the line's studio cabins, as the opened sofa-bed blocks the doors, and limits access to the closet. Unlike other cruise lines, the space in this cabin is not designed to store much.  In my interior cabin on last year's California Trip, I had at least twice as much space to store things than I have on this cruise - in a similarly sized cabin.  I will likely suggest that they retrofit the closets in their studio cabins to use sliding doors, as this would be a great benefit to future cruisers.

Yet, there are good things I can say as well.  The comedians on both of my most recent cruises were good, and made us want to see them more than once. We were both Food served in the main dining room was plentiful, albeit under-spiced to many Americans' tastes.  (It's easier to add salt to a dish than to take it away.)  Dinner service in the main dining room was very good, and everyone there was very attentive to our needs. We didn't need to dine at any of the specialty restaurants, and we were glad we made the choice not to do so.

Readers may notice the scooter in the hallway at the top of this entry.  Our steward said that MSC doesn't have a policy against scooters being left in the hall.  This can be a big problem in case of an emergency.   There is not enough room for a wheelchair to roll through the hall when a scooter takes up more than half the hall's width.  I'll be sure to note this as a major risk factor in my email, even though I didn't want to complain while onboard the ship - why make things harder for people who need these scooters and ruin their cruises?

- - - - - -

Back to our day....

After breakfast, we had to pack.  So we both loaded up our suitcases and readied them for the transport from the ship to the pier.  Then came our last lunch and dinner in the main dining rooms.  We said farewell to our waiter, then it was back to the cabin to finish packing.  We were mildly disturbed by the steward when he came for the beach towels.  Yet, this was the perfect opportunity for us to hand him a tip in person.

Both of us felt as if our belongings had grown while we were on the ship.  As I write this, I'm hoping that I packed my large suitcase to its capacity and left enough room in my backpack and carry-on to handle the rest of my stuff.