Sometimes, one has to seek out help

 

 

I've never tried to hide my age, as I'm an old TG woman and see my time on this earth getting shorter and shorter.  This doesn't frighten me as much as the thought of not being able to have my affairs in order at any time.  So, the thought of losing control of things as I'm coming to full retirement benefit age worries me a bit.

- - - - - -

About a month ago, my long time tax preparer decided to retire.  Although I knew this would eventually happen, I was still a little bit shocked when I heard the news.  I never had to look around for someone to take care of this need, and now I have to do a search when I need constancy the most.  The 2023 tax year had me receiving an unexpected bonus payment of a survivor's social security benefit from which taxes should have been withheld. And the 2024 tax year will require that taxes get withheld from benefits paid to me.  Dealing with these things should be simple.  But there are so many of them coming in at once to be dealt with that I can get overwhelmed thinking about them.

Luckily, I have one person I can call for help with my taxes and with tax planning.  Yet, I am looking for more than this person to choose from.  Hopefully, I will find the person I need soon, as I am not looking forward to this year's tax season....

Ambivalence and why is can be useful

 

I've mentioned in the past that I was ambivalent about taking my last cruise before and after the cruise itself.  There were good things I could say about the cruise line/ship and bad things I could say about the cruise line/ship.  But I ended up having the same mixed feelings after taking the cruise.

Why do I mention this?

Well, I still participate in the ship's Facebook forum and post appropriate things there.  I also watch an occasional Vlogger video about their experiences on the ship and a thought came to mind: We search for meaning in the things we have done, and often need to examine the experiences of others to determine the meanings of many of our experiences.  This tendency of our species isn't as crazy as it sounds.  There are some things that need to be examined by the many, so that a common understanding can evolve.  

The other day, someone asked a GOP candidate for the presidency a simple question: "What was the root cause of the American Civil War?"  Most of us would give the simple answer: "Slavery."  But this woman couldn't do so.  Even when asked this question 10 years before, she couldn't bring herself to give this simple answer.  Why would someone have problems giving this simple answer to what should have been a "softball" question?  The answer to this question is just as simple: The base of her political supporters rejects both the cause and result of the war between the states.  And behind her non-answer is a denial of the common understanding of the war that most people in most of the 50 states have come to accept.

When 160 years have passed and a political candidate can not give the simple answer to what should be a simple question regarding our civil war, that candidate is not qualified to be president.  Hopefully, this person will never be closer to the White House than on a guided tour....

Going to the first meetup in the new year

 

This past Tuesday, I went to my first meetup of the new year.  I've been to this restaurant during Hudson Valley Restaurant Week, but never at another time.  This place, Char Steakhouse, has a prix-fixe menu on Tuesday nights that is quite good.  So I figured that I'd try it out.

- - - - - -

One of the problems with Char is that it is hard to see where their driveway begins and ends in the dark.  As a result, I had to go very slow turning into the place, lest I drive my car into a ditch.  Once there, it's not always easy to find a parking spot.  But what makes things easy for those in the know is that there is a rear entrance to the building that usually serves as the main entrance to the restaurant.

I saw my group, and sat down next to the leader of the group.  Soon, someone else came in with a friend, and we all started gabbing.  The lady to my side hit it off quite well, and we exchanged numbers, so that we could meet for lunch one day.  Hopefully we can do that - but I'll be sure to stay in Marian mode, as not to let gender get in the way of developing a good friendship.  

 

Finally, the waiter came to take our orders, and I chose the Zuppa de Pesce.  Yum!  I'd come to this restaurant just for that, even though steak is their specialty.  Later on, one of the people at our table had to leave early and took care of her bill.  One problem - our waiter didn't see this, and thought that she skipped out without paying.  So the meetup leader texted this person, and we hoped she'd come back to the restaurant to settle things. A few minutes later, I left the place and took care of an errand before returning home for the evening.

Why do I still go to an occasional meetup?

The answer is relatively simple - I still want to make new friends, and make them as Marian.   Some people wonder why I feel more comfortable as Marian, and outside the issue of gender dysphoria, I feel that I enjoy the company of women more than men, and that I prefer not to have the issue of sexual behaviors get in the way of having the friendships I want most.

I'm going to get really fat if I don't watch out

 

Today, I ended up having two meals out with friends.  How I did that, I don't know.  But I did enjoy both meals along with the company I had.

- - - - - -

If it weren't for the fact that today would be the only time this month that I could see my friend from the census without problems, I would have preferred to stay in and relax for the day.  I hadn't gotten enough sleep last night, and the alarms only got me going around 11:00 am for a 12:30 pm lunch.  This ended up being perfect for me, as I arrived at the Italian joint in town and found my friend just sitting down to wait for me to arrive.

This was a day where I dominated the conversation, describing what happened on my most recent cruise. Hopefully, I did it in a way that kept her interest, as I'm pretty sure that she will never sail with MSC. While Carnival is described as the Walmart of cruise lines, catering to the "value oriented" customer, I described MSC as the bastard offspring between Target and K-Mart. From Target, MSC gets the glitz that attracts people to cruise with them.  And from K-Mart, MSC gets the low quality that causes people to say "Never Again!"  People attracted to MSC do not want the Carnival cruise experience, but want a subset of the experiences one can get on other, higher priced, cruise lines. Eventually, lunch had to end, and I proceeded home.  Originally, I was going to go to Jersey and do some shopping.   But I felt that I should put my leftovers in the refrigerator before going out.  As a result, I never bothered to go out until I met Vicki for dinner at Lefteris Gyro.

- - - - - -

I met Vicki just after she was done with her exercise class, and she was famished.  This time, Vicki would be the one carrying leftovers home.  Vicki listened to me describing the cruise, knowing that neither of us would likely cruise MSC in the future based on my most recent experience.  Yet, I felt this was a shame, as with a little more attention to the quality of the experience and less on nickel-dimeing the cruiser, they'd have product good enough to seriously make a run at grabbing market share from the big-3 American based cruise line corporations (Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Norwegian).  Vicki told me about her retirement plans (which I won't go into here) and chatted about things going on with her and her husband.  All I will say about that is that he will go more than the extra mile for her.

All too soon, dinner had to end and we had to go our own ways.  Not to worry.  I'll see her again when I have my colonoscopy next week....

 

A telling of tales for the New Year

 

As usual, publication of journal entries in this blog is a little behind the times.   By the time you read this, 2 weeks will have passed, and I will have gone through an appointment with my GP, gotten a colonoscopy, and have had my teeth X-Rayed.  And those are only things that I know will happen over the next couple of weeks.

- - - - - -

When this weekend began, RQS came up on a crowded train from NYC.  Instead of eating what I had at home, we proceeded to the local diner as I was in Mario mode for the day  And this was a wise choice, as both of us had leftovers we could bring home to eat later on.  The manager and a long time waitress both noted that it was a long while since I've eaten there, and I mentioned that I had been traveling, spending half my time in Queens these days.  The last thing I was going to mention was that I spend more than half my time as Marian, and didn't want to "out" myself to them.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and neither of us wanted to get out of the house.  And we didn't do much, save to make a shopping run as it was getting dark.  RQS needed a few things she could get at Walmart or Target, and I needed an excuse to take a drive.  So, off to Poughkeepsie we went, and then back home for the night.

But Sunday, New Year's Eve, was a different story.  I decided to let RQS stay in bad while I went to Church for the first and only time this year.  It was nice to reconnect with the rituals of my past, even though my late mother might have had another heart attack had she seen me in church wearing a nice dress and being addressed as Marian.  After church, it was off to Homestyle Desserts to pick up a cheesecake for the folks from Game Night and to pick up some cookies for RQS's friends, who we'd plan to meet the following day. About $85 later, I returned home to relax with RQS before going to Yonkers.

Not knowing what type of food we'd be eating, I decided to nuke some pre-made offerings from Trader Joe's for us to eat.  This wasn't needed, as there was much more than enough food to eat at our friends' place.  Strangely enough, most of us didn't end up playing any games.  The night was mostly spent by us talking with a few friends until shortly after midnight when we drove home slowly and carefully, making sure to avoid the amateur drunk drivers expected on the road this evening.

- - - - - -

New Year's Day came, and neither of us had any energy.  When RQS was looking for excuses not to go and visit her friend, I suggested that she had a GI Tract issue similar to that I often have (for real).  And this made it possible for her to sleep the day away until it was again dark outside.  The only reason I even bothered to get dressed was so that I could bring home a hot pizza for us to eat.  And then, it was back in my jammies for the evening....

Wishes

I wish I could look in the mirror and see this face, knowing that the body connected to is would be fully in sync with the image.  Alas, this was not meant to be.  My face, like the rest of my body, shows the wear and tear of living a different life.  But I am not complaining about that, nor am I pining for something that can not be.  Life is a path, that for most of us has its obstacles and challenges, but can have its rewards for making it through without losing your mind or your humanity.

Lately, I get up in the morning and find that I have nothing urgent to take care of.  Life wasn't this way when I had a job to go to.  Just the fact that I had a job that had to get done gave meaning to life - even when I worked at that mind numbing job with the imaging company.  Now, having people to see and trips to take gives me a reason to get up in the morning. 

The other day, I saw BXM for lunch before she had to go to work.  (She has a flexible schedule.)  And she was the happiest that I ever saw her.  When I first met her, she was taking care of a father whose mind and body were gradually leaving him.  Now, she's being energized by helping children get their lives together, as well as having a good home life with her partner.

Not everyone is doing well.  I just had a letter from an old friend, and he told me that his wife had to go through a double mastectomy.  Although she's "triple negative" and going through the 5 years needed to be labeled as "Cured", it must have been hell for her.  This is where I wish my late wife had survived, so that she could console this friend's wife in her time of need.

Another person I know doesn't know enough about how to escape her dead-end "career".  Although she has been told about paths she could take to exit the dead-end, she hasn't done so.  Over time, many of these doors will be closed to her, and she may end up regretting taking the chances she needs to take to escape from a life that is doomed to both keep her poor and without a decent person to accompany her along the path of life.

For all of my friends, I wish that their lives will improve each day, and that they will be able to grasp success from the claws of failure.  As for me, I don't ask for much, as I already have most of what I want and all of what I need....

Relaxing & Preparing to Vlog

Today was a day where I didn't do much of anything, save for laundry.  It's becoming more common these days for me to be a couch potato.  So, I don't mind excuses that get me out of the house and doing things.  If the Yonkers meetup group met every Thursday as it once did, I'd have gotten up and did more before the end of my day.

- - - - - -

RQS was right.  As soon as I got my new sofa, I'd find myself falling asleep there during the day.  But this leaves the bed available for night time use.  In the daytime, I'm more likely to be watching YouTube videos or reading books.  Last night, I finished Romney, A Reckoning, by McKay Collins.  I found out about this book a while back, and it paints a damning picture of what today's GOP has become.  I highly recommend this book to those people who have any doubts regarding Trump's (and the GOP's) unfitness to govern.  Although I have started another book, I'm not sure if I'm going to finish it on time.  Since it is in high demand, I must return it at the the end of its 14 day lending period.  This means that I may just have to request it again after a few weeks have passed.

On other matters, I am starting a YouTube essentials course on the basics of Vlogging.  There are several topics that I plan to talk about and I hope that others find my Vlogging of interest.  However, I am not likely to use my authentic transgender identity until I go 24x7 in the world.  Instead, I will likely Vlog as Mario, as I still can present as a decent looking male when I need to.

Recently, RQS sent me information from 2 Vloggers who discussed the trip I recently took, and a solo cabin that is just like the one I stayed in on my December cruise.  I'm glad that others have similar feelings to what I have about travel on this ship.  Given what I have written in my cruise blog, I have confirmation that I can report on a cruise line, a cruise ship, and a cruise itinerary with an objective eye.  Hopefully, I will be able to maintain my objectivity as I develop the skills to Vlog on topics I choose.  And when I do so, I may post some links here for my readers to view my Vlogs.

Sleep? What is that?

 

Last night, I didn't fall asleep until some time after 4 am.  As a result, I set my alarms to start waking me up around, 8:30, 9:00, 9:30 and 10 am.  What I didn't expect was a phone call from my bank to ask questions about a credit card which was stolen in Chicago about 2 months ago.  By the time 10 am came around, I was wide awake, and getting ready to drive down to the Bronx to see BXM,  (This was the main reason for the alarms, as I would hate to oversleep and forget about her.)

There were several things I had on the docket for today.  First was a call into my 401k custodian to see whether my distribution check was cut (or not). Next, was a visit to BXM.  Finally, I had to restock my refrigerator with fresh food, and this would likely mean a trip to Trader Joe's  Given that I had to get the 401k check cut before year end, I logged onto the 401k site and found that the 401k check had been cut overnight, and that it should be in my mailbox shortly after the New Year.  Whew!  Now, I could get ready to deal with things I wanted to deal with today, such as lunch with BXM, food shopping, and taking care of laundry.

- - - - - -

I was running a few minutes late to meet up with BXM, and hit a traffic jam on the Saw Mill Parkway at the Bronx border.  (No wonder why my GPS kept telling me to get on a toll road,  the NYS Thruway, instead of taking the more direct and free route to Riverdale.)  She looked better than I remembered, in part because life has been going well for her as of late - and it shows on her face.  I told her about what has been going on in my life since we last met, and she told me of what's been going on in hers. (Not too much or too little, as her job is very rewarding and takes up a lot of her time.)

On the way home, I passed by the Saw Mill's traffic jam (the trucks were still blocking one lane of the road) and proceeded to Trader Joe's.  This was a big shopping run, as I broke the $50 barrier and came close to spending $75.  But I still needed to go to Foodtown for some mayonnaise, and spent another $20 while there.  Thankfully, today's shopping run will last me into the weekend.

 

Sending a letter

 

The other day, I sent a letter to someone I once knew.  It was meant to be a polite way of reopening a channel of communications between two people, as the holidays would be a good time to see if this person was looking for a way to reopen up communications between us.

- - - - - -

This got me thinking - how many people have we lost contact with because of things getting in the way? One acquaintance from my days running a FIDO BBS (Bulletin Board System) and I never seem to connect with each other, although we occasionally try to do so.  He has a rewarding family life, with a wife and children.  Hopefully, we'll be able to connect soon.  DCD has had health and family problems.  But he is a friend of questionable value, as he doesn't make much of an effort to stay in contact anymore, now that his life is falling apart.  Most of my polyamorous friends in the "North Country" have scattered to the winds, and I don't miss them because we never built strong bonds.  And I don't go to many meetups these days, as I haven't found many of the groups conducive to making friends. 

Did I gain much from meetup groups?  Well, with one meetup group, I made some good friends I can count on to be there for me on occasion.  With others, I have made one or two friends.  But, for the most part, I gained invaluable experience being out in the world as Marian.  And this is what counts....

Caught in-between the holidays

 

This past Friday (12/22/23 - as I write this), I put in a phone call to the custodian of my 401k to take a distribution.  I thought everything went well, even though I was on an IVR (Interactive Voice Response) system, as I arranged to take a 401k distribution.  Well, this evening, I found that nothing has gone through yet.  Since this money needs to be distributed before year-end, as not to screw up my tax status for next year, I will need to make another call in the morning and try to reach a human.

I hate IVR systems, but see their value.  Yet, I find that my needs are rarely dealt with properly by these systems.  For example, when I last took a distribution, I made sure that I took out extra money for both Federal and State taxes.  This time, going through the IVR, I could do this for the Federal taxes, but not for the State taxes - I had to guesstimate them, and then include them as a fixed figure.  AARGH!  Things will be much worse next year, as I will need to figure out the total for both Federal and State taxes, and manually enter the amounts to be taken out of my corporate pension to compensate for Social Security issues.  To make things worse, my accountant has retired, and I will need to find someone new before I file my returns for t/y 2023.  

With all this being said, these are first world problems.  I have the resources to take care of things, and will likely consider doing a trustee to trustee transfer of my 401k funds, so that I have more control over them, including tax withholding.

- - - - - -

Why am I mentioning this here now?

Well, I usually have a lot of things to take care of at year end.  A little bit of financial confusion is just a little more stress to add to my life - but a stress that I'm lucky to have compared with many people I know.  For example, one of my acquaintances has not had good health lately.  His relationship with his on/off girlfriend leaves much to be desired.  And his employment record makes him a high risk hire.  He will never escape the claws of defeat.  There are others I know that have been in worse shape than this acquaintance.  So I am grateful to have my set of problems than that of someone else.

Now, I can talk about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

 

Yes, I know that you'll be reading this post two weeks after the holiday.  But then, I don't want to announce to my readers where I am until after I've returned home.  The above picture was taken on a cruise I took in December, and didn't write about until I returned.

- - - - - -

RQS came up for Xmas weekend on Friday, and we went out for a bite to eat at the local diner shortly after she arrived.  Once we got home, I took care of a financial issue that had to be dealt with before the holiday, and then we went out to buy a gift for TCL and Pat (my former hypnotist), both of whom I'd be seeing on Xmas day. Saturday came, and we had nothing on the docket.  However, I decided to visit a friend who had a pop-up store nearby, and chatted with him for an hour before returning home.  As one could tell, the opening of the weekend would not be that busy for us.

Christmas eve came, and this meant that both of us would get dressed up to dine at Crabtree's Kittle House.  This restaurant is a place that many get dressed up for, and we fit in well with the place as we were dressed to the eights. (It's also a place where special meals run over $100 per, before drinks are included - but it's worth every penny.) I had the gnocchi as my appetizer, while RQS had the lobster bisque. RQS's first thought was that it looked just as appetizing as the lobster bisque in NCL's Le Bistro or Cagney's restaurants. And she was just as happy finishing everything in the bowl. For the main course, I chose the short ribs while RQS chose the salmon for our main courses, and we were well sated by the time dessert came.  And again, we chose different things.  I went for the heath bar cheesecake, while she went for the Boche de Noel.  At the end of the meal, we were sated and unable to think about food until the next morning.

Both of us took our time in getting moving on Christmas day, and didn't bother getting dressed until 3 pm.  By the time we got out the door, we were running late to see Pat - and didn't get there until 5 pm.  She was very happy to see us, and we all thought our visit had to end too soon.  About 5:45, we drove over to TCL's place to pick her up for dinner.  Although we were late, we had no problem getting a seat at a local Chinese restaurant, where we became "Honorary Jews for Christmas".  (See this article for more background.)  We all had the standard Chinese entrees, and I treated TCL to a belated birthday dinner.

Again, we ended up parting way too soon, and went home for the evening.  In the end, this was a nice way to spend Christmas weekend.....

Happy Elvis Day!

 

No, I am not a big Elvis fan.  Yet, I enjoy most of his music.  It's a shame that his life was cut short by excess.  But this post is not going to be about Elvis, other than it will be public on the anniversary of his birthday.

- - - - - -

Most of my readers know that I write things one day and publish them around 2 weeks later.  I do this, so that I can travel and not let people I'm away from the house until I've returned home.  This means that I rarely post on cruise-specific travel forums, as I don't want thieves to have the knowledge that I'll be away for a given period of time.  However, I just left the following post (from a different blog I occasionally write for people new to cruising) covering the cruise I took on December 9-16.

MSC Meraviglia - Florida and Bahamas Cruise (12/09/23 - 12/16/24)

It's written differently from the journal of the trip covered in successive entries in this transgender related blog, as no mention is given to any transgender issues.  Shortly after posting, I got a lot of people reading the blog, as it was of interest to a wider group of people.

- - - - - -

Why do I mention the unexpected popularity of my other blog?   Simple.  It's to remind our community that we are small and not on the minds of most people.  We are under attack by many,  But most people are inclined to let us be, as I was on this cruise.  I simply blended in to what people were expecting from a fat 66 y/o woman.  And for most of us, that's what we want - to be treated with the respect normally shown to a person of our identified genders.

We must not forget that we are under attack from some quarters.  When my ship made an unplanned stop in Miami, I refuse to spend any time or money helping the economy of that state as long as that homophobe/transphobe governor is in office.  (Yes, I broke down and spent $2.00 on some soda, as I was thirsty.)   I'm not as self righteous as I was practical - why take any last minute shore excursions in the rain?  If I have to pass through Florida, I will spend some money there.  But I won't plan a vacation that involves me staying there, save to visit a friend or to visit family.

- - - - - -

I've said before that living as a transgender person has a lot of mundane issues that are common to most people.  When I see transgender people like Danica Roem get elected to office, they don't focus on being different, save that they will do more for their constituents than their opposition.  We are part of a larger society. Maybe our goals of acceptance from the larger society should focus on how much alike we are to the rest of society instead of focusing on our differences....

And now for a word from our sponsor....

 

As I write this, Donald Trump is still the presumptive GOP nominee for the 2024 presidential election.  By the time you read this, the US Supreme court will likely have ruled on Colorado's judgement that he participated in an insurrection against the government of the United States, and is ineligible to be on the state's GOP primary ballot. I support Colorado's court action, as the closest to the White House that Trump ever should be is as a protestor in Lafayette Park. Sadly, the violence his words provoke in the lunatics that support him has already started: The justices on Colorado's court are already getting death threats. 

But what does this mean to the average transgender person?

The MAGA mob is like a large group of bovines being stampeded.  They want to live in their ideal world: the America of the 1950's , a fantasy which would be a dystopia for us.  The LGBT community would be persecuted, the black community would again suffer under Jim Crow (separate and unequal), and all other non-white and non-Christian peoples would be silenced.  And even if this happened, things would get worse.  Governments under strongman regimes eventually fail - and usually disastrous for the people who live under those regimes.

Political pundits are saying that the US Supreme Court should duck the issue and overrule the Colorado Supreme Court in the narrowest of ways, allowing Trump to be on the primary ballot and preserving the armistice between the MAGA mob and civilized Americans. I think this would be a big mistake, as the MAGA mob is intimidating the "sane" members of the GOP, forcing them to leave their party.  Instead, the US Supreme Court (SCOTUS) should take the issue head on and rule against Trump, saying that the 14th amendment is self effecting.  If a state says that Trump is an insurrectionist, then he is ineligible to be on the ballot and ineligible to serve in any public office.  This would give the non-MAGA GOP members cover to nominate people other than those from the MAGA mob to public office AND give the party a chance to be a national party again, instead of one that has support mostly in rural areas.

If SCOTUS were to rule in favor of the traditional GOP loyalists that brought this suit, I expect no less than a 5-4 ruling in favor of keeping Trump off the ballot.  (I have my doubts on Justice Thomas and the 3 Trump nominated members.)  I will be very surprised if it is a 9-0 ruling.  The Colorado court's ruling was written in a way that justices Kavanaugh and Roberts would be hamstrung in trying to overturn their ruling. 

However, I expect that SCOTUS will duck the issue and hope that they don't have to rule on this issue again.  They may feel that given the political polarization we have today, that it may be wiser to let the people make their decision at the ballot box.  But this would be the wrong decision to make, as the constitution prohibits Trump, and the ex-Confederate officers before him from holding office.  If he wants relief, it may only be given by congress, where 33 &1/3% is elected to the Senate and 100% is elected to the House on election day.  Since the new congress takes office before the president, they could rehabilitate Trump if elected, but unable to take office on January 20th.  But then, MAGA people do not believe in elections that do not deliver the results they want....

 

An unexpected gift....

 

As my readers know, I enjoy cruising, both alone and with a companion.  But cruising can get expensive, especially when one wants to take bucket list trips such as cruising the Norwegian Fjords.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find that because I qualified for Social Security survivor benefits (I was married for 11 years, and was widowed at the age of 39), that I could get a payout on my late wife's account before converting the payments to come from my account.

Today, I received the survivor benefit payout, and I can now afford to take a cruise out of Los Angeles in the Spring.  Hopefully, I'll be able to visit my uncle before this cruise, as he doesn't have many years to go on this planet, and I want to see him while he's still (sort of) vertical.

- - - - - -

Now, the big question is: Where do I want to cruise to?  I can easily afford a 7-day California Coastal cruise.  And I can afford a 15-day Hawaii cruise.  But which one makes more sense?  That's the question I must answer soon, as I will miss having RQS with me even more if I were to take the longer trip.

The work looks done ...and none too soon

 

Although the photo quality isn't great, the retaining wall looks great this morning.  Why is this important? Over the years I've lived here, this wall was constructed and then failed.  My co-op needed to repair it, and I was one of the loudest advocates for this repair.  The repairs were finally completed while I was on my cruise.

Why is this important?

Given retaining wall failures which have affected the commuter rail line I live near, the last thing I want to see is a preventable landslide which could either destabilize our building, negatively affect downhill neighbors, or both problems.  

- - - - - -

As I've noted in the past, I live in a naturally occurring retirement community (for many of us long term residents), as apartment ownership has proven the best investment for our needs.  We know that someone else has to take care of the property, and that we can reside in the apartment as long as we are able to pay the maintenance.  (I won't get into other issues for leaving in this discussion.)  And that's where the problem lies.  Most of us, myself included, live on fixed incomes.  Older people usually have fewer resources to draw on, and are least likely to afford maintenance hikes or property assessments. 

Most co-op boards have to balance the needs of their shareholders.  Do we raise maintenance charges, knowing it might be a hardship for some?  Do we apply an assessment for needed repairs, as we did when we had to replace our windows many years ago?  Do we defer maintenance, so that we don't have too many bills being presented to the co-op at once?  There are so many things a co-op board must address, and there is no way we can make everyone happy.

I am lucky to have the resources to pay my bills (and a little bit more).  Many others are not.  The position a co-op board member has to take is similar to being a fiduciary - one must act in the best interest of the client, and not of his firm.  In my case, my responsibility is to the health of the co-op, and not any one individual member - including myself.  That's why I pushed for repairing the retaining wall as much as I did.  And now it's done... 

Florida-Bahamas Cruise 2023 - Day 8 - Debarkation & Cruise Thoughts

 

We're finally home!  As much as I enjoyed being by myself for a week, I missed having RQS by my side and couldn't wait to meet her at Grand Central.  

But first things first....

I didn't much get sleep, and I ended up watching the ship's virtual porthole TV channel as the ship was about to go under the Verrazano Narrows Bridge around 4:30 am.  Although I tried to rest a little more, I was unable to do so and proceeded to get ready for the day.  After showering, making up my face, and getting dressed for the last time while on the ship, I packed up all my gear, double checked that I was leaving nothing in the room, and left my cabin for the last time around 7:00 am. Then, it was off to my last breakfast on the ship, where I was seated next to a couple who drove to the pier from Canada.  (I can only imagine what their drive home will be like.)  We struck up a conversation and found out that they had similar feelings to mine in regard to this cruise.  All too soon, they had to leave, and I finished my breakfast at a leisurely pace.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stall things any longer, and proceeded to an area where I could sit and kill a couple of hours - the main dining room.  Although it was a staging area for people who needed assistance in leaving the ship, I was welcome to hang out there as the buffet area upstairs was already mobbed with people trying to get their last ship board meal.  

Around 9:30-9:45 am, my group number was called, and I finally got off the ship.  Although it was a long walk to the baggage claim area, my suitcase was waiting for me there.  Since we cleared customs while in Miami, there was no reason to stop for an ID check when debarking at Brooklyn.  So I took another long walk with my luggage to the ferry, walking through slow moving people and around vehicles picking up passengers for their rides home.  Unfortunately, I just missed the ferry as it was leaving the dock, and I had to kill an hour before the next ferry came.

Around 10:35 am, the ferry came, and I was off to Grand Central.  I texted RQS to let her know that I'd be in Manhattan by 11:00 am, and would likely be at Grand Central's waiting room by 12:30 pm. Instead of walking to the subway station on Wall Street, I decided to do a shoreline walk to South Ferry.  It was a nice day, and I could use the exercise. So, after 15 minutes or so, I caught a uptown bound train and made it to Grand Central ahead of time. 

As I got to the waiting area, I noticed that the women's room line was out the door.  Winter tourist season had begun, and Grand Central was much busier than usual.  After taking care of business, I picked up a sandwich downstairs and proceed to wait for RQS.  It wasn't a long wait, as we were able to make the 12:23 train to Croton with a few minutes to spare.

- - - - - -

Would I take another cruise on MSC in the future?

I'm just as ambivalent on this as I was before taking the cruise?  MSC is a cruise line for "value oriented" (price conscious) cruisers.  If Carnival is the Walmart of cruise lines, then MSC is aiming to be the Target of cruise lines. Nothing shouted "Don't cruise with us again" or "I can't wait to cruise with you again."  Instead, everything said "I don't care if I cruise with MSC again or not."  Everything seemed to be a notch below that of other lines I've cruised with, save for the glitz in the public areas of the ship.  That was often over the top.

The other day, I watched a cruise Vlogger whose main gig is being a Travel Agent. One of her clients noted that they tried MSC and told her empathically that they would never cruise with MSC again.  Another said, "No, I will never cruise with MSC again," but was attracted to cruise with them twice because of MSC's low prices.  Yet, this travel agent wouldn't be honest with her viewers about this cruise line, trying not to say bad things about them, so that she could collect her fees when booking people on this line.

MSC provides decent value for the money spent for their cruises.  But I wouldn't expect a top notch experience unless one has spent the money to enjoy their Yacht Club experience.  (Like most cruisers, I can't afford that experience.)  It's a line I might cruise on again of the price and itinerary was right.  So far, I haven't seen any future cruises that would get me to take another cruise on this line.

Florida-Bahamas Cruise 2023 - Day 7 - Sea Day

 

Florida-Bahamas Cruise - Day 7 - Sea Day - 12/15/23

It is the last day on the ship, and part of me wishes it wouldn’t end.  Hopefully, I didn’t gain that much weight on the ship, as it will take some time to get it off without the average of 2-3 miles of walking every day.  Luckily, we have a clear sky today (a rarity on this cruise) and a smooth sea.  

The only reason I got up this morning was to go to the buffet for breakfast, and later for lunch.  While out for breakfast, I turned on the light to tell the steward that he could make up the room.  However, he was delayed, and I had to kill some time.  So I went to buy a couple of pictures from the photo lab - and they tried to upsell me a package of 5 photos when I was only interested in 3.  Instead of buying 3, I bought the 2 I really wanted and went back to my room. The steward was cleaning my room when I arrived with his supervisor discussing work with him.  He asked for another couple of minutes and I gave it to him.

After lunch, I found the disembarkation instructions in my cabin.  Looks like I’ll be one of the last people off the ship, as I have been assigned debarkation group #21.  This is fine with me, as it makes it easier to connect with RQS and travel to Croton together.  The only thing that concerns me is getting back to Manhattan and then to Grand Central. Today, I’ll have the luxury of time on my side.  But I won’t be sure of when I will get there.  So I’ll call RQS when I get on the ferry, to give her an idea of how long I’ll be waiting at Grand Central for her.

Just before I went to dinner, I packed everything into my large suitcase, and prepared to set it outside the door for pickup and delivery to the pier the next morning.  This would be the last of my specialty restaurants on the package, and I was underwhelmed by the seafood joint.  Few of the dishes on my package were worth the price, and I chose the spaghetti with clam sauce - which was very good.  After dinner, I had time to go back to the room and put some more dirty laundry into the suitcase before it was picked up by the stewards.  By doing so, I lightened what I’d be carrying with me in the morning, and committed myself to staying in the room for the rest of the evening.  So I called it a night, though I wasn’t sleepy yet.

I went to a meetup, and the meetup wasn't there.

 

This will be a short post, as I'm too tired to think about much right now.   As I've mentioned, my circadian rhythm has been "off" for the past few days, and it's more likely to see me awake at 3 am, than 3 pm.  This didn't matter much on a day when I had nothing scheduled (like yesterday), as I could stay in my jammies and get something tasty from the refrigerator.  Today, it mattered....

As much as I wanted to be awake by 9 am, I didn't get out of bed until noon.  This didn't matter, as I had a meetup scheduled in White Plains at 7:30 pm.  So, around 6 pm, I started to get ready to go out as Marian.  Using every short cut I knew to save time, I was out the door by roughly 7 pm.  Arriving in White Plains, I parked my car and went to the scheduled venue to be with the meetup group.  Well, there was no one there.  I sent texts to the organizer, but received no response from her.  Something is fishy, as we are friends from outside this group, and I gave her no reason to be out of contact.  Even stranger, the original post for the meetup vanished, and no messages were sent out to notify anyone of the cancellation.

This was frustrating - I wasted 90 minutes of my time to be with people who weren't there.  Since I know I'm not losing my mind (at least, that fast), I know something must have happened, such as a cancellation due to the cold weather.  So I'll ask the organizer about this the next time I get the chance to see her.

Florida-Bahamas Cruise 2023 - Day 6 - Sea Day

 

Florida-Bahamas Cruise - Day 6 - Sea Day - 12/14/23

Today, choppy seas were the order of the day.  Barf Bags were found by all the staircases, and people were complaining in the cruise forum about the rough seas.  Although there is not much that the captain of the ship can do other than to try to find a calmer path to sail, newbies don’t have enough experience cruising to understand this.  They don’t know what really rough seas are like, and will likely complain about the slightest problem

I decided to go to the buffet for both breakfast and lunch, and was glad I did so.  There was no way I was going to get out of my cabin in time for a more formal meal, when I could get what I wanted when I wanted at the buffet. Between meals, I heard several announcements that informed passengers of activity location changes from the pool area to locations in the interior portions of the ship.  With weather the way it has been for the past 24 hours, it was prudent to do this.

 

Since tonight is gala night, I made sure to have everything ready to go.  My LBD with a zipper puller is hanging in the closet.  My stockings (and a backup) are ready to be worn.  And my flats (I chose not to wear heels) are out.  All I needed to do was wait until 6:00 pm to dress to impress.  And I couldn’t wait for this time to come, as I want some nice pictures taken of me tonight.

All too soon, I’ll have to start packing, and I’ll be sad.  Even with all my negative comments about this cruise, I am enjoying it.  At least, I’ll soon be at home and in my own bed with a new CPAP mask.

Happy New Year - 2024!

 

Happy New Year!!!!

(I'll be back to my regular posts tomorrow.)