Gallery Sitting

Today was a day that I spent Gallery sitting for Arts Westchester. I was told in advance to bring a book, as not that many people would be visiting the gallery on a weekday.  So I was prepared for a boring day, which it was for the first hour or so.  And then, an occasional person or two visited the center, giving me a chance to talk with people and keep myself busy.

But first....

I had set my alarms to get me up early, and they worked their magic as desired.  However, not having enough sleep the night before, it took me a while to get moving.  After doing my daily routine, I was able to get out the door by 11 am - just enough time for me to make it to the gallery by noon.  

Just as the clock struck 12 (to use an old expression), the heavy metal outside doors to the gallery started opening.  But the lady in charge had a hard time opening the doors, as they were rubbing against the bottom of the door frame.  (Both WD-40 on the hinges and wax on the door frame might help, and I suggested this to the person in charge of the gallery.)  The lady (who I will leave unnamed) showed me around, and I started my shift at the gallery.

During the day, several people came in to visit the gallery, and one of them bought a coupe of scarfs. Another said that she wants to bring her small meetup group there soon. But this was not all.  A woman from one of my meetup groups came by to do her volunteer shift a couple of floors above me, and we chatted for a few minutes.  It seemed like "old home week" at times, as I also met another person who was part of the Arts Westchester volunteer program.

Finally, it was time to close things out for the day.  Women had responded to me as if I were a cisgender woman, and that's the way I liked it.  The more I get practice interacting with cisgender woman as a woman, the less I'll worry about my remaining masculine traits being a problem for me.
 

A surprise contact.

 

I've gained and lost friends over the years.  Sometimes, it's because we no longer serve each other's needs anymore.  Other times, one (or both) people screw up and say/do things which create an unbridgeable chasm between those people. So I was surprised when someone, no longer a friend, emailed me the other day. I will not mention what this person said, or anything more about the contact, save that it was a surprise. Is it an opening to bridge a chasm?  I doubt it.  So I'm going to avoid responding to this person unless I get another contact, just to avoid another awkward exchange of emails.  But it got me thinking about how people screw things up and sever relationships that should be strong.

Tonight, I had a conversation with a friend who has a family problem similar to what I was dealing with before my wife died.  In my case, my wife's death was the event that gave my brother and I the ability to bridge our chasm.  Sadly, with this friend, I don't see the friend's chasm being bridged because of accusations made of a spouse and a family's reactions to those accusations.  Given that I know everyone involved in this family disaster, I feel that it is something that could have been avoided had some of the people involved had acted rationally instead of enabling someone's behaviors.  (I side with my friend on this issue, as I think that the other person has serious issues that are not being addressed.)

With my friend, a family has been torn apart because of a false accusation.  Not even a death in the family has given the parties involved enough of an opportunity to start healing their wounds. And until the accusation is properly addressed by all parties, the key players in this saga will not be able to be in the same room at the same time.  Given the health of one of the family members, I expect that the next death in the family will make it impossible for these people to address the elephants still in their rooms.

So sad.  So very sad....

The story of a shipment being (Mis)handled by USPS

 

I ordered a dress from Universal Standard a little over a week ago, and it has not yet arrived.  Instead, it has taken the long way from a fulfillment center in the Midwest through Chicago to New Jersey, then being bounced back and forth between mail processing centers in White Plains, Phillipsburg, NJ and Saint Louis.  It now seems to make sense to start taking bets whether this package will ever be delivered to me, or returned to the fulfillment center.

Universal Standard is aware of this problem and stated the following in its email to me:

Thank you for reaching out to US.

We are so sorry to hear that. Usually, we do not reship orders after they are sent back to US but since this was the last one we are willing to work with the warehouse and have it reshipped if it makes it back to US. The only issue with this is if it does make it it might take even a month. If you are willing to wait we are happy to reship then.

Please let US know how to proceed.

Even though it took a little while for Universal Standard to respond to my request for help, they are giving me a satisfactory response.  I informed them that I would like to have the dress reshipped, and that I would have no problem waiting a month for the dress - there would still be two more months of summer to enjoy the dress.

As I write this, the dress is again in White Plains, as noted in the tracking information below.  I will add a postscript to this entry if (or hopefully, When) the dress reaches a final destination....

 

Preparing for Delivery

 

Moving Through Network

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

June 1, 2023, 12:41 am

 

Departed USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 31, 2023, 10:37 pm

Arrived at USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 31, 2023, 8:27 pm

Departed USPS Regional Facility

ST LOUIS MO PACKAGE SORTING CENTER 

May 31, 2023, 1:14 am

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

ST LOUIS MO PACKAGE SORTING CENTER 

May 30, 2023, 10:01 pm

Arrived at USPS Facility

SAINT LOUIS, MO 63125 

May 30, 2023, 8:29 am

Arrived at Post Office

SAINT LOUIS, MO 63125 

May 30, 2023, 7:06 am

In Transit to Next Facility

May 29, 2023

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 28, 2023, 12:45 am

Departed USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 27, 2023, 10:46 pm

Arrived at USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 27, 2023, 7:49 pm

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

SAINT LOUIS MO NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 27, 2023, 1:53 pm

Departed USPS Regional Facility

CHICAGO IL NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 27, 2023, 5:44 am

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 27, 2023, 5:36 am

Departed USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 27, 2023, 3:41 am

Arrived at USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 26, 2023, 10:58 pm

Departed USPS Regional Origin Facility

CHICAGO IL NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 26, 2023, 12:47 pm

Arrived at USPS Regional Origin Facility

CHICAGO IL NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 25, 2023, 1:00 am

Accepted at USPS Regional Origin Facility

ELK GROVE VILLAGE IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 24, 2023, 11:45 pm

Shipping Label Created, USPS Awaiting Item

ELK GROVE VILLAGE, IL 60007 

May 24, 2023, 3:34 pm

Hide Tracking History

PS: I received the dress a couple of days after starting the USPS tracking investigation.

 

 

The loss of a cat - a quick post

 

My cat died over 10 years ago.  And yet, I still miss her trying to be close to me.  Strangely enough, I feel sad because RQS just lost her youngest cat, a cat who rarely wanted to be friendly and only on its terms.

- - - - - -

From the time I met RQS, this cat never wanted to show any affection.  When I came near her, she would always hiss at me.  RQS told me that this cat was strongly bonded to her late husband, and tolerated RQS in her life when he passed.  Six years later, I met this cat, and learned that she was going to stay away from me, save for rare situations, and defend her territory with prejudice. Over the past year and a half, this cat got to accept me, and occasionally come to me to get stroked.  But it would only do so on its terms, and would run away after a short amount of affection was given.  So both RQS and I found it strange that the cat hid under the bed when her feeder came over the weekend.

I dropped RQS off at the station today, and she made it home without incident.  Our plans were for me to go to her place in the early afternoon tomorrow, and take this cat to the vet for hair trimming - she would not let RQS brush her hair, and the only way to keep the cat groomed (for its comfort) was to take it to the vet.  Well, RQS found the cat panting, and made an emergency visit to the vet.  The cat was sick, and the doctor gave RQS no assurances that the cat could be saved.  Sadly, this cat had to be put to sleep.

It's a sad thing.  I'll miss this cat, even though it wouldn't miss me.  Maybe, it was growing on me.  Who knows?  But I will be there tomorrow anyway, as I need to drop off some luggage for our upcoming California trip.  And I think that RQS will need me around to comfort her.

RQS and I go for a pedicure - a short post

 

Unlike the first half of the weekend, the second half would have me in Marian mode.  This would allow for me to get a much needed pedicure with RQS.  And, it would allow me to enjoy the weather without having the discomfort I feel when wearing trouser like garments.

RQS and I have a habit of getting out late, and we didn't get moving until 2:00 pm.  By the time we made it to the local nail salon, it was a little bit after 4:00 pm.  Due to the holiday, they had fewer people people on staff than usual.  But we were out of there by 5:30, and took a nice drive before going for dinner at a local Greek restaurant.

I'm grateful that I am able to go out and about as Marian when with RQS.  Yes, she does need her time with Mario. And she is still getting used to me being both Marian and Mario. But for now, she is my partner, and I will try to make her as happy as possible.

I brought TCL and RQS together for the first time - a short post

 

No, that is not RQS next to me.  Instead, this strong, silent critter  just made me want to show some affection for someone who is a little different.

But to be serious....

I've been trying to get TCL and RQS in the same place for a while.  But circumstances never permitted it.  Recently, I was able to schedule a shopping trip to New Jersey to take care of some errands for RQS, and then meet up with TCL afterwards to chat.  However, I had to make sure that I was presenting as a male 😞 for this meeting to happen.

First, RQS and I went to the pet store to buy some "pill pockets" for use this coming week when we planned to take one cat to the vet for its periodic fur removal. After that, it was off to Home Depot to get some blinds for her apartment. And then it was off to Dunkin Donuts to meet with TCL for coffee. Who knew that we'd be chatting for over 2 hours, until the shop had to close.  Now, RQS has seen TCL and understands how she can ramble on and on at times.  (I do it too, and have to watch out for when I do so.)

Later on, I received a text from TCL - she loves RQS and sees how and why we get along.  I'm sure that the two of us will be seeing her again soon.

Slow cooking some ribs - a short post

 

Ribs!  Yum!

The other day, I saw a rack of vacuum packed ribs selling for a reasonable price.  So, I figured that I might have some fun with the slow cooker and have some "fall off the bone" good stuff for dinner tonight.  Since RQS was coming up, I didn't want to waste much time preparing the ribs and dealing with my oven.  (The less I use my oven when the weather is warm, the more comfortable my apartment will be.)  So, I took my crock pot off the shelf, cleaned it up, and started to prepare the ribs.

Slow cooker ribs are reasonably easy to prepare.  I do them in a simple way:

1. Take a full rack of ribs and cut them up into portions of 3-4 ribs each.
2. Pour a full bottle of BBQ sauce (whatever type I like and have in hand) and pour it in the pot.
3. Place the ribs in the pot, making sure all are covered by the sauce.
4. Turn the crock pot on high, and let it cook the ribs for 5 hours.
   Note: One may want to adjust the ribs occasionally to keep them all submerged.
   

If I want to further caramelize the ribs, I may place the ribs on a ridged stove-top grill and cook them a little more on the stove.  But I usually don't bother doing this, as I like the results fresh out of the pot.

Is there a better way to celebrate the unofficial start of summer with Ribs?   If there is, I'll enjoy it later on.... 

Meeting up with a friend from the Census

 

When the above restaurant was split between two strip malls, as single slice pizza joint in one site, and a sit-down restaurant in the other site, I would always avoid going to the sit-down place when presenting as a female as I was a regular there in male mode.  However, when they consolidated operations in this place, they stopped serving slices and became a more classy, but casual, sit-down restaurant. The old staff went on to establish and manage other places, leaving this place open for me to be a regular while presenting as a female.

I met my friend while working the 2020 census, and we both had stories to tell each other.  No, I can't say that our stories were that exciting.  But we saw each other as peers, people with whom conversation flowed freely. And we kept in contact after our terms at the census ended. Although I can't say we're close (we don't reveal the types of intimate secrets that most women share), we have shared things that we don't want certain people to know. Both of us will soon be doing some distance travel, me to take a cruise and my friend to go to a wedding.  We'll have things to share when we get together next month. 

But why is this important?

Although it is harder for many trans people of my age to make friends because of learned prejudice, it is not impossible.  Many foreign born and younger people have fewer prejudices against us because, as I see it, they are also people trying to make their way in our American culture.  Hopefully, other trans people will successfully find their ways, not giving up on things....

Another night of Drag Queen Bingo

Drag queen bingo.  It's not my normal cup of tea.  But it was part of a mid-week meetup, and I had nothing better to do this evening.  Given that there were 6 of us ladies there (myself included), it was nice to get together for something mindless and entertaining.

Like a typical Hibachi dinner, once you've seen a drag queen's performance, you've seen it all.  There is very little variation in the performance from show to show. But, in small doses, it stays a pleasant diversion when you have nothing to do.  And I certainly had nothing to do today. I was bored, so I might as well get bored with friendly people. And what is it about these performances that I find so boring?  With Hibachi chefs, it is the limit to the routines they can do with food being cooked. With drag queen performances, it is excessive exaggeration combined with lame sexual jokes.  It gets boring when one sees the same performer repeat an act with little variation from performance to performance.

Yet, I consider myself lucky.  I live in a state which protects the right of a drag performer to put on a show.  This is very important to me, as we've already seen several states ban drag performances in the name of public decency.  Who is being harmed by drag queen story hours at the local library?  The children?  I doubt it.  I'd rather have my young child read to by a drag queen than be given religious instruction by a Catholic priest.  (Yes, I know that 99% and more of the ordained priests are people I can trust.  But, in the past, the church has protected that evil 1% and rotated pedophiles from parish to parish and kept them from being held to account in a non-religious court.)  I've never heard of any drag queens molesting children, but I have heard of religious leaders doing so.

If I'm back by the time of the next show, I may end up going again.  In my way, it is a form of support for these performers, letting them know that they are appreciated.  And I hope that more people will join me in supporting their right to perform their craft without interference from the state.

A cruising promotion watch-out

 

Although I have enjoyed my cruising with one cruise line, I am leery of booking my flights with that same cruise line after hearing complaints about their ticketing issues in several forums.  My experience with this line's air travel booking was merely acceptable, but it was not something which made me want to use this service again - even if it saves me money.

Today, I watched two travel agents discuss NCL's flight booking program, and realized that I got lucky with my flights to/from Hawaii.  If I had used NCL's hotline to get assistance when United scuttled the first leg of my flight to Honolulu, I might have missed the first day of my Hawaii cruisetour. This would have been a great disappointment, as I spent almost $9,000 to take this trip and would hate to lose a day in Hawaii due to a plane's mechanical failure.  Given that NCL will not guarantee that all passengers on a single booking will fly together, and that NCL has canceled tickets on the day of the flight, I will likely never use this service for myself again.

There are some travel agents that still consider NCL's "second person flies free" part of the "free at sea" promotion, and will consider this option for their clients. So it pays to understand what one gets as part of the promotion and what one doesn't get.  Although RQS and I will be taking an NCL cruise early next year, they will not be booking our flights.  I do not trust them to get the best value for us when we can't even choose which airport that we fly out of.  As I've mentioned, I live in Westchester county, and RQS lives in Queens.  It would be a hardship for us if our flight were booked to leave from Newark instead of La Guardia or JFK.  But NCL does not allow us to specify an airport if another airport is within 60 miles of where we live.

It's obvious that we'll be cruising with NCL again, as we already have two more cruises with NCL in the pipeline.  But, given the horror stories being reported in the NCL Facebook forums and now by prominent YouTube.com vloggers, I will no longer be taking my chances and letting NCL book my flights. 

 

Managing the contents of my closet

 

I'm one of those transgender women who love wearing dresses.  If I were born in a later generation, I'd likely want to wear different garments, as the cisgender women of my generation made their transition into preferring trouser-like garments years after I grew up.  In short, I modeled my clothing preferences on that of my mother, and I may always gravitate to those garments.

Unlike my mother, I enjoy wearing clothing with simple lines and strong colors.  Although I will wear patterns, I am more into solids - in either gender presentation. Although I have more patterned tops for when I present as male, it's only because these are the only tops available in my size. When presenting as a female, I prefer to let my costume jewelry do some of the talking. But I try never to over do it with  jewelry.

Over the years, I have bought way too many items of women's clothing, and I have had to purge some of these garments as they have gone out of style and no longer fit my needs.  Luckily, some charities have been beneficiaries of my purchases.  Today, I am gradually removing the cheaper garments from my closet, those garments which wore out quickly and were not meant to last.  In short, I'm trying to remove "fast fashion" from my wardrobe.

Shifting towards more sustainable fashion requires work.  Yes, I will continue to occasionally buy lower priced garments which I know will last a year or two. But I will not do this as often as I used to do it. (A gal's got to spruce up her wardrobe occasionally, doesn't she?)  The big question becomes: When I eventually get around to losing some weight, will my taste in women's clothing change and what will happen to my wardrobe when that happens?

A tempest in a teapot, but not without reason.

 

Transgender women in sports.  Much noise has been made regarding this topic, and much noise will continue to be made until we are accepted by society.  Yet, our detractors do have a point that must be addressed.  Without puberty blockers, trans women's bodies will develop differently than cisgender women, and the jury is out on whether this gives trans women an advantage in women's sports.

An article in science.org discusses World Athletics's decision to ban transgender athletes from competing in women's sports. The reason that many give is that there is not enough information on the advantage transgenders may have due to their atypical body development.  Yet, without being willing to gather that information, this becomes a "Catch-22" situation.  We have no data, so we won't collect that data.  AARGH!  Even cisgender females such as Caster Semenya are harmed by the athletic organizations, as she has a natural, but abnormal amount of testosterone in her system. And yet, most of the science-based discussions rightfully focus on fairness in competition, and not on a person being trans or not.

However, things seem to be very different in non-elite competitions, and this is where social prejudice sets in.  The "Redder" the state is, the more likely is it to have laws which hurt trans kids from participating in school sports.  Like their adult counterparts, trans children are the focus of communal hatred, as I believe these laws were passed to prevent trans kids from leaving the closet. But these bans conflict with Federal Title-IX laws, which are meant to give equal opportunity to all without regard to gender.  ESPN's website has an interesting article discussing how young trans athletes are getting caught in the debate on whether trans people should have the same rights as cisgender people - at least in sports.

In the end, "fairness" can never be a "one size fits all" policy.  We need to know how much of an advantage being transgender gives a person before and after puberty.  And we need to know where it doesn't give us an advantage.  So how do we get this information without competition?  Until the sports authorities are willing to collect this information, trans athletes will continue to be hurt as children and as adults.

Aloha 'Oe

 

Aloha 'Oe.  It's a song that will always remind me of Hawaii - and for good reason.  It will always remind me of places where I can relax and chill out, and not just in America's paradise.  But why do I start out with a thought about Hawaii?  Well, I've grown to realize that cruising is my favorite way to disconnect from the outside world for a while, and come out refreshed at the end of my trip.

Today ended a long relaxed weekend with RQS.  I drove her back to Croton-Harmon in the middle of the afternoon, and I killed a little time before returning home due to plumbing repairs that required water being shut off to the building.  By the time I got home, the repairs were complete, and I was able to take care of things at the apartment.

Around 6 pm, I put my dress back on and drove to Wegmans for a shopping trip.  $90 later, I had several bags in my car, and was ready to pack it in for the day.  And yet, my thoughts kept prodding me to do one more thing - plan another trip to Hawaii, and see things I couldn't see the first time around.  For example, it was too windy to visit the USS Arizona memorial when I was there, and it is a site I'd like to see.  Another thing I'd like to do is enjoy the Luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center.  I've seen the Luau on Kauai, and would want a different take on the ceremony.  And then, I'd like to get back to the Halealaka Crater and Volcanoes National Park when it isn't foggy or raining.

As I see it, going back to Hawaii with RQS in tow will be worth it.  The only question will be: How do we afford it?  

Lobster was one of many food truck selections we had today

 

RQS had a hankering for a lobster roll today, and I indulged it after taking care of some other business. But first....

Neither of us were in a hurry to get up this morning, and we took our time to get moving.  It was one of those days where I couldn't get up before noon, and RQS indulged my need for sleep.  It's just as well, as I felt more awake than usual after having an interrupted 8+ hours of sleep.  This would be my third day with RQS in Marian mode, and I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass.

When we got moving, we first went to another furniture store to look at some more choices.  And again, the salesperson was all over us looking to make a sale. This sales person didn't bother me as much as she did RQS.  But we were still not ready to buy anything.  So it was off to Dobbs Ferry and the Lobster Truck.

It took us a little while to find our way to the train station, but we were rewarded by a multitude of food trucks at the riverside festival.  As much as I wasn't in the mood to spring for a couple of lobster rolls, I knew they would be a good value and that they would make RQS happy - so they were worth busting the budget a little.  And yet, we were both hungry afterwards.  So it was time to raid the ice box and finish off the Chinese food we left there

Since RQS decided to stay until tomorrow afternoon, I had to text DS to tell her that I couldn't make it for hiking.  I know she was upset, but what could I do?  I will always put my relationship with RQS first.  She is the only woman I've met in years that accepts me for who and what I am, and doesn't care much about what I wear.  She is a blessing, and I try to make her as happy as I can....

Seeing someone off that I wish I knew better

 

A little while ago, Vicki #2's spouse passed away.  Today RQS and I went to the memorial service held in their memory.

- - - - - -

Normally, neither of us likes to get up early. But today was different.  I woke up before the alarm, and I took my shower before RQS got up. By the time we were ready, we had a half hour to make it to Mt. Kisco when we noticed a slight drizzle starting.  So off we went in the steadily worsening weather to the memorial service.  We arrived around 10:30, with more than enough time to find parking in the small lot.  By the time 11:00 came, we were happy to have arrived early.

Several speeches were given regarding memories of Vicki's transgender spouse, (I mention this only because this was an important part of their identity) and by the time the service ended, both RQS and I wished we had the chance to know "the captain" better.  We stayed a little while at the post memorial reception, gave our condolences to Vicki, and we were on our way to our next stop, JC Penney in Danbury.

We arrived at the mall, and RQS started shopping for some things to wear on our upcoming cruise. Both of us were underwhelmed by the selection of products at the store.  RQS bought a couple of tops before we left. And then it was off to the furniture store to look at replacement sofas for my place and recliners for RQS's place.  Both of us were impressed by several sofas and recliners we sat in, but were put off by the omnipresence of the salesman.  He wanted to make a sale, and make it today.  But neither of us were willing to do so.  

Our next stop was at a Chinese restaurant that I visited with my former cruise partner.  As usual, the food was good here, and we had leftovers to eat later on.  Yum!  At least we didn't get caught in a deluge on the way home.

I almost forgot my anniversary - thoughts on being widowed.

 

There are several days during the year that I make sure I have a small drink - and they are all related to significant days that I shared with my late wife.  Today would have been our 38th anniversary, and there will always be a part of me that misses her.

How would I describe my late wife?  After 27 years of being widowed, many of the little things she used to have faded into the fog of lost memories.  Yet, I can still remember her saying things such as EN-Double A-ESS-T-EYE, and letting out her inner child much more often than I could. Yes, she didn't know how to cope with things at her office, as it was a small business that didn't bother with obeying important business rules, such as having a non-smoking office.  At the end of her life, she was angry because she was the only non-smoker in the office, and the only one that suffered with cancer in that office.

I'll never be sure how much she loved me, or whether she stayed with me because she feared that she'd have no place to go if she left me. I know that her problems  with money triggered my insecurities, and frustrated me until the day she died. Yet, I find it ironic that I may have more female clothes than she did when she died - and that I gave away 12-16 bags of those clothes to a local charity when she died.  I think she would have a big laugh if she were to see me and that closet today.

The other day, I made a short mention of my late wife to Vicki #1, and she went off into a diatribe on how my wife may not have grown with me, how we might have gone into couples' therapy and failed at it, and so on.  It was not what I wanted to hear, as I wasn't in the mood to be convinced that my life is better because my wife died - I know that, and felt a little sad because it is so.  I was simply subconsciously reminded of her, and reacting to that stimulus.

Yet, I'll always wonder now and then - what would have happened if my wife had lived?  And this is where Vicki and I agree - the odds are that we would have gotten divorced, and that I would have approached new relationships with a certain lack of trust. Could this be why certain divorced women are attracted to me as a friend?  Who knows?  But I don't think I'd be able to have my relationship with RQS if I had been divorced.  I needed the assumption of goodwill that only being widowed can bring to a potential relationship.

If there is something after death, I only hope that my late wife is having a good laugh seeing how my life has progressed so far....

I did plenty of nothing, and nothing's plenty for me.

 

Lethargy - It's something that plagues me early in the day, and keeps me from having the energy to do things until it is too late to do them.  In short, my body wants to live a life out of sync with the rest of the world, and it gets frustrating at times.

Today, I was thinking of doing laundry when I got up in the morning, and then go into the city to see the God of Carnage off-Broadway revival.  Instead, I didn't start doing anything until 2 pm, and didn't do laundry until 6 pm.  There was no way that I'd make it in time for the play, so I resumed work for another website I am developing.

The website I'm working on is travel related, and part of what I plan to do will be blog related.  Yet, I have yet to figure out how I want the site to look when I'm done with things, and I have yet to figure out how I want to handle video links on the site. And I'm glad that I was able to get back to work on the blog, as I'd like to have everything related to the project up and running by the end of the year, with content ready for people to view and enjoy.

Since I left the bank 9 years ago, I have done a decent amount of travel on a budget.  There are stories I have to tell and wisdom I have to share.  And this new site will be my medium to do so.  Hopefully, when it is ready, I'll be able to share things here as well....

I might be planning another cruise soon.

 .

For better part of a year, RQS and I have been talking about taking a Norwegian Fjord cruise next year. Soon, we will need to plan for this trip, else we won't be able to take it at all.

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As I might have mentioned elsewhere, 2024 will be the last year that conventionally powered cruise ships will be allowed to cruise the Norwegian Fjords.  This is a classic bucket list cruise, ranked up there with Alaskan cruises, Panama Canal cruises, Hawaii cruises, and Atlantic crossings on a classic ocean liner. I know that this is a "budget buster" item, something that RQS will have a hard time affording with all the traveling we are doing this year and will likely be doing next year. So we have to think carefully as we plan this trip out.

 
Right now, I'm looking at options from 4 cruise lines: Holland America, MSC, Norwegian, and Princess.  The big problem is choosing a cruise with the right price point and length with an acceptable itinerary. This is something we have to discuss.  There are some 7-day cruises out there that look good to me.  But there is one 14-day cruise that I'd really like to take, a Princess cruise that sails out of Southampton and goes to both Norway and Iceland. But I'm not sure that we'll be able to take this cruise, given RQS's finance and scheduling concerns.

Assuming that we take the Norwegian Fjord cruise, this will be the first time I have left North America and the first time that I will need to present my passport for travel.  There is a big part of me that is afraid to take this trip, as it takes me well out of my comfort zone.  But everyone has to have a first time, and this might be mine.

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Unlike the Bahamas cruise that I'll be booking soon, this cruise will be taken as Mario.  There would be way too many complications for me to take this cruise presenting as Marian to risk making a mistake. However, when I eventually take my British Isles cruise or do the Atlantic crossing on the Queen Mary 2, I hope to take it presenting as a female.   Unlike many British Isles cruises, the above cruise does not stop in France.  To me, this is a bonus - I do not need to worry whether someone I come into contact with will be able to (or bother with) speaking my language when on a shore excursion.  

As you can guess, I'm working on checking off bucket list trips while I'm still healthy enough to do so.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get through most of this list while I'm still in decent shape for my age and weight.

 

What I fear most as a transgender person

 

When I started this entry, I thought I could make it as long or as short as I wanted.  But life has a habit of throwing me curve balls, and I have a nasty habit of trying to hit them.  Luckily, I have hit enough of them to still be around to play again and again.

Lately, we've seen the governor of Florida attempting to censor both business and educational entities because they believe that all people have a right to be treated with dignity, and that we should not be watering down our history to avoid showing a past which is still uncomfortable for many to confront. This man, someone I consider as evil as our 45th president, has attacked his state's largest economic driver simply because the Disney corporation believes in treating the LGBT community with respect. Although I am not a fan of Disney or most of its products, I have to stand with the corporation as it fights this evil man.

Sadly, the governors of Florida and Texas reflect the feelings of a large part of the American population, and show how dangerous it can be for members of the LGBT community.  We've again seen a growth in "Bathroom Bills", laws which are specifically aimed at the transgender community.  We are often easy to pick on, as we usually stand out from the crowd by our appearance. M2F transgenders often have a masculine body build (facial features, hair/beard patterns, hands, feet, waist and hip development), speak in a deeper voice than cisgender females, and often wear wigs to deal with male pattern alopecia.  F2M transgenders tend to be smaller than typical cisgender males and have similar issues with body development as well.  Gender dimorphism is a problem for transgenders because it makes us easier to identify by intolerant people.

I've been careful NOT to travel in states where intolerant people are in charge.  But what happens if someone like Florida's governor becomes president?  I expect that America will become a much more intolerant nation, and that people like me will need to go into stealth mode.  People like Fran (who I've talked about in other blog entries) will be the first people to suffer.  But this will not be the end of things..  I will have it easy compared with people like Fran unless they take intolerance to its next step - using computers to sort through business records to find people ordering goods not conforming with one's assigned gender.  At that point, I will be leaving the USA, as to avoid the possible herding up of us "undesirables" into camps.  And if you think this won't be done, ask any Japanese-American (or his/her descendants) about the camps set up by our own government during WW2.

Yes, I have my fears.  And I don't think they are unreasonable.  We have a chance to stop this from happening. And I'm going to do what I can to help stop these people from gaining any more power than they already have.