I'm looking for a cheap cruise without a single supplement.

 

I took the above cruise a few years ago.  Would I take it again?  Probably not.  But, if I were to see a cheap cruise like it offered on Princess without a single supplement that sails out of New York, I'd jump at the chance to take it.

- - - - - -

There is a problem with cruising.  In many ways, its like taking a tour bus, except that it covers a larger area on water.  If I were to take a tour bus to see the sights in San Francisco, the knowledge that I'd gain from that bus ride would give me an idea of where to focus my exploration on a day to day basis.  Cruising is much the same, as it helps familiarize a person with the important things that can be seen in a coastal area.  In the Caribbean, I like to say that each island consists of 3 main things: a beach, a fort, and a shopping district.  The size and scope of these things differ from island to island, but for the most part, there is not much difference between the islands.

With the above being said, cruising can be a great way to detach from the world.  When I was still employed by the bank, I found that NOT being able to read my emails or make phone calls from the ship forced me to disconnect.  There is an art to disconnecting from the world.  But once it is mastered, one can relax without pressures of the outside world getting in the way.  (Leave your phone on, and you can receive both a large phone bill upon your return and bad news to be processed while still on the ship.) 

- - - - - -

So, why do I cruise?  I guess it's habit.  I've gotten used to the idea of staying in a hotel that moves from port to port, and not having to pack and unpack at each destination.

Reading a 40+ year old book

 

 
Most people only know of the movie based on this book and its sequel.  There is no way that I was going to spend $250+ to buy a used copy of this book, so I decided to try to get an inter-system loan of the book from my local library.  Last week, the book came in to the library, and I picked it up.

Unlike most books withdrawn from the local library, inter-system loans are not renewable. Inter-system loans MUST be returned to the library from which they were borrowed.  A $2.00/day late charge is charged for any book not returned on time.  So I made it my highest priority to read this book as soon as I got it, and did just that.  I might just reread it before I return it, as I doubt that I will ever have a hard copy of this book in my hands again.

The movie follows the basic theme of the book without the setup for a possible sequel.  However, the book is much darker, as Eddie is known to be dead, and vultures are circling to find Eddie's lost recordings. Unlike the movie, the "Wordman" character is always front and center throughout the book, save for when people are relating their stories about Eddie.  All of the important descriptions of Eddie and his band have been carried from the book to the film.  

Luckily, I saw the movie before reading the book.  If I had read the book first, I'd have been disappointed in how the story was adapted to allow for a sequel.  But, having seen the movie, I can appreciate the book even more, as I separate out all the chaff from the story in my mind as I read the book.  If you get a chance to read this book - do so.  It is worth the time and effort.

Getting ready to book a Norwegian Fjord cruise.

 

Norway, land of Fjords.  This country's natural beauty draws me to see it before several of the fjords are closed to conventionally powered cruise ships.  Having cruised Alaska when I was younger, I know the value of seeing a land with much awe inspiring scenery.  On this trip, RQS will be with me, and I will have someone special with whom I can share this experience and the memories that it brings long after the cruise is over.

Right now, RQS and I are finalizing key details for this cruise.  We expect to be able to spend a day with my niece before our cruise.  It will be the first time either of us has left North America (save for my trip to Hawaii), and I am a little bit nervous.  Europe is foreign to me, and cruising provides enough hand holding for me to see the sights where we're going without limiting my choices to an excessive degree.

One port that I intend to visit is Flaam. The main attraction for me is the railroad.  As I like to remind RQS, I've been interested in trains since I was a wee little child.  I can't wait to go on this train and see the sights. But there is so much more to see. So our task is to determine which shore excursions we really want to go on, and purchase them well before the cruise.

We've budgeted approximately $7,000 each for this trip.  Like many "Bucket List" journeys, it is expensive.  We could have chosen a cruise that starts in Southampton, sails for several days in Norwegian waters, and then goes to Iceland for a few days before returning to Southampton.  Instead, we've chosen a cruise that sails directly from its home port to Norway, and then oozes its way along the Norwegian coast and through its fjords before returning home.

Luckily, both of our passports have several years to go before renewal.  However, we do not yet know whether we will need UK and/or EU entry permits.  We asked our Travel Agent about this, and he has no answers yet for cruisers.  I figure that I'll pay the small price for both entry permits and drop a $20 bill to be safe....

A quick run for lobster before the movie.

Both RQS have a craving for lobster rolls.  We'll go out of our way when we can to catch up with the Lobster Truck to get our fix.  This week was different.  Instead of chasing the lobster truck, we went to Stew Leonard's for their summer weekend lobster cart.  And it was almost as yummy as lobster from the truck.

But first....

RQS planned to come to my place, so that we could go see the movie "Oppenheimer" on the IMAX screen at a theater on the other side of the Hudson.  I was in Marian mode when she arrived, and she commented that she'd have been surprised to find me in a pair of trousers.  That made my day in a very pleasant way!

- - - - - - 

Saturday came, and we proceeded to Stew's for lobster rolls.  Unfortunately, there were no more seats at the theater we wanted to go to, so we had a fallback plan - see the movie at the Drafthouse in Yonkers. In-between lobster and the movie, we killed some time at the book store, and proceeded to the theater in time to see the movie.

I was glad to have some background knowledge about  J. Robert Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project before seeing this film.  Coming out of the movie, I had a better understanding of why this man was the least likely person to lead such a large project, and why this man was to be spit out by the powers that be shortly after he was no longer needed.  Like many excessively smart people,genius in one part of his brain was balanced with character deficiencies in another part.  Even though I am nowhere near his level of intelligence, I understand the nature of someone like Oppenheimer, as I have similar flaws of a lesser magnitude.

Would I have wanted to live Oppenheimer's life?  No!   He was a great man, but with greatness comes people trying to bring you down.  That has happened in my life, and I have suffered for it.  I am grateful that I never had a burden like he had....

 

A conversation with a friend.

 

The other day, I had a conversation with my friend Vicki.  She's been a good friend for several decades now, and I've learned to deal with her style of communication.  But there was something in this most recent conversation that got brought my attention to something not being said.

But first....

Vicki and I have been trying to have a chat for a while.  Either she's been too busy at work, or I've been too busy in my own life.  So, it was nice to be able to catch up with her on the phone after dinner the other day. (Normally, we'd have already scheduled a dinner, but she has a cough that isn't going away soon.  So, a phone call had to do.)  I don't know how to describe Vicki's style other than to say that she is a dominant person who forgets that sometimes, she has to listen to others more and not try to solve problems that are not ready to be solved.  And this is what got to me a little in our chat.

We started out with Vicki talking about her cough, and how little could be done about it.  She didn't have Covid-19, or any other of the ailments that could explain the cough.  Instead, the docs told her that the bug she has is viral, and she'll have to wait until it's gone.  Then, we talked about Vicki's retirement planning - when she'll retire, where she will relocate (for tax purposes), and how she will divest herself of a New York presence to qualify as a resident of another state.  (Any more details, and I'll go into things that should be kept private.)  Like most people, she will have a lot on her plate to take care of when she transitions from a working person to a retired person. But I digress....

Our conversation shifted to my long term plans with RQS, And that's where the part of Vicki's personality that I don't like came out.  Neither RQS nor myself has been able to figure out how we'd merge our households, nor have we figured out where we'd live.  We both feel that we need to rid ourselves of a lot of the clutter in our apartments before we even try to figure out how to combine households.  Once I mentioned that we're with each other 3 or 4 days out of 7, she started to try to solve the problems RQS and I would need to deal with in a few years - and this was off putting.  These problems are a few years in front of us yet, and I had to remind Vicki that we're living in the present, and not dwelling in the future or the past.  We'll deal with these issues closer to the time they come up, as we're busy with issues of the present.  Eventually, Vicki got the hint and apologized - she sensed what she was doing, and noted that it is a problem that she has....

The rest of our chat went well, and ended a few minutes later when her coughing got the better of her.  Hopefully, the cough will go away soon, so that we can finally get together for dinner again.

Can a T-Girl have too many dresses?

 

I had a hard time making a choice the other day.  J.C.Penney had the above dresses on sale for $15/ea.  Given the quality I usually find in the dresses they sell, I figure that it was worth the gamble to have 2 more summer dresses.  Yet, both are similar to dresses I already own: the first one by its pattern, and the second one by its color.  But I will be able to wear both of them now, and when I take a cruise to the Bahamas later on this year.

Even though I purchased the first two dresses,  I'm planning on buying the above dress when it eventually goes on sale.  I already own the same dress in a different pattern, and want to get it in this pattern as well.  Then, I will be done with summer shopping, and ready to fill out my winter wardrobe.

- - - - - -

 
I figure that I'll soon be moving dresses into storage bins dedicated for summer storage, and out of ones dedicated for winter storage.  Hopefully, I won't misplace dresses I have grown to love, like I did the dress from Catherine's above.  This time, when I put the above dress away for the season, I will be sure to remember where I put it.

- - - - - - 

But what does this mean for the other dresses in my closet?

Well, I expect that I will do some more pruning over the next few weeks, and make some more donation bag contributions to charity.  Have I spent way too much money on dresses?  Yes.  But the question still remains: Can a T-Girl have too many dresses in her wardrobe?

Forgetfulness

Retirement has done a lot to my memories for things on my schedule.  Unless something is very important to me, I seem to be retaining less and less of "trivial" matters.  For example, the president of my co-op was going in for surgery.  Although I remembered this fact, what she was going in to the hospital for completely slipped out of my mind.  As soon as it came up in conversation, the memory was easy to retrieve.  Yet, I'm bothered by this age related change in affairs.

In the past, I had a photographic memory.  I could read a computer program, and then identify a single one of the hundreds of pages of code where the bug was likely to be found.  Today, I can not absorb as much knowledge as I did in my 20's.  To make things worse, without a regular routine, I am more likely to forget semi-regularly scheduled events for which I've committed myself.  And I have been very embarassed when this has happened.

The other day, I went in for a periodic doctor's appointment, and mentioned that the one thing I am afraid of most is memory loss.  My grandmother (on my father's side) had dementia, and my aunt (not a blood relative) suffers from a form of dementia as well.  I don't think that my doctor really understands my fears in this area, as I have no one to take care of my affairs when I am unable to do so, as I don't have children who'd have an interest in doing so.

- - - - - -

Today, I read a NY Times article about a family who shared a genetic mutation for Fronto-Temporal Dementia.(FTD). It's sad when one knows that they have a 50/50 chance of losing one's ability to take care of one's self, to lose family because of this ailment, and to be isolated from everything worthwhile in life. Even though this is a genetic disease, many in the family wanted to live in denial.  I might have wanted to do the same.  But then, who knows?

There are so many moral issues imposed by others in the names of their faiths that get in the way of preventing diseases caused by genetic traits.  What if we could isolate sperm and eggs carrying these mutations before conception, and prevent the mutations from being carried on to future generations?  Imagine what would happen if Sickle Cell, Tay-Sachs, Hemophilia, and other genetic carried diseases were preventable.  Yet, organizations such as the Catholic Church are against "Test Tube Babies". I certainly don't think that Louise Brown would be upset that her parents used IVF to conceive her, although I think there are quite a few priests who would consider her birth an abomination.  In the case of the family with the FTD mutation, IVF with implantation of FTD-Free embryos (or aborting the fetuses with the mutation) would eliminate this disease from their blood line.  Wouldn't this be more humane than the heartbreak and suffering that will occur when this mutation is passed on to future generations.

- - - - - -

So, I go back to myself....

I don't know what I will do if I am ever given a diagnosis of early stage dementia.  But I think I will try to be like the main characters in the movie "The Bucket List" and enjoy as many valuable experiences as I can while able to enjoy them.

Going for a long drive to meet a friend

 

I wouldn't drive the above car more than a couple of miles, and then at a very low speed.  That is the opposite of the driving I often need to do, as most of the people I know are at least an hour away from me. Today's drive was to meet a friend who lives over two hours away from me, at a mid point agreeable to both of us.

- - - - - -

RO and I have known each other for a while.  We first met on a date, but things didn't work out between us.  A few years later, we stumbled into each other again and became friends.  Since then, we get together now and then, and today was one of those meetings.  Although she knows me as Mario, she sees me more often as Marian, and that's the way I prefer to be when seeing her.

The restaurant that we used to go to is halfway between our houses.  Today, we decided to meet for lunch at Fuddrucker's, a hamburger joint whose chain has seen its better days.  My late wife and I always enjoyed going to the Fuddruckers in Yonkers.  Sadly, virtually all of the outlets near me closed many years ago, leaving a small number too many miles away for a casual lunch on my own.  But today was different.  Fudd's has an outlet in Parsippany, NJ, and that's where we met.

When I first encountered Fuddrucker's as a chain, their outlets focused on the display of the meat that would be served to the customer.  The place was wide open and well lit. You could see all of the spaces open to the customer upon entry, including condiments, fixings (onions, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.), and.beverage stations.  This outlet felt different.  It felt cramped, and the main seating area was separated from the entry area by a wall.  But the burgers were as good as I remembered.

RO talked about her most recent trip with her hubby, and having booked a new trip to the same area for next month.  I talked about my trips (past and upcoming), as well as my relationship with RQS.  By the time lunch was over, RO asked if I would introduce her to RQS, and I said "sure".

All too soon, we had to return home - and parted until next time.

. 

Someone in one of my meetup groups passed away - a quick post.

 

 
The other day, someone from one of my meetup groups passed away.  The only reason I know this is a weekend meetup being held to celebrate this man's life.

- - - - - -

I always felt it strange that this fellow wanted his picture taken with me when we attended the same FTF meetup.  Was he interested in dating me?  Who knows?  If I were interested in dating men, he might have been on my radar, as I'm told that he was a sweet person.  Luckily, I met RQS at the beginning of last year, and I didn't have to tell him that I wasn't available to date, nor did I have to reveal to him that I am trans.

Although I would have liked to be able to find out how he died and to attend his memorial, I have a higher priority in my life - RQS.  Assuming that I'm able to attend a mid-week meetup with this group, I will ask the leader about how he died, and whether it was expected.  Until then, I will accept that there are some things I am not meant to know right now - and leave it at that.

Having dinner with VW

 

Although the above looks nothing like the dinner I had tonight, it tasted as good as this dinner looks.  It's been forever since VW and I have gotten together, and it was nice to see her again after almost a year.

But first...

It's been forever since I've seen VW.  When it appeared that I had double booked dining dates with VW and TCL, I asked TCL to postpone things as it's harder to meet with VW than TCL.  Unfortunately, TCL and I have yet to find a good date where I can finally get together with her (as Mario).  So, I'll likely find a free weekday to meet TCL and have a long postponed "birthday dinner".

Back to VW and dinner...

The other day, I found a long missing dress safely stored inside a chest I plan to give away.  Given how much I love this dress, I was elated when I was able to show this dress to RQS - she thought it looked great on me when I dropped her off at the train station.  And I planned to wear it when I saw VW later on.

VW and I agreed to meet halfway between our two residences.  This meant that we'd meet somewhere in the Brewster vicinity, and I figured that I'd need 45 minutes to get there.  Around 5:30 pm, I put my dress back on, and drove to the restaurant to meet VW.   Just as I got to the restaurant, I got a call from VW - her GPS wasn't working, and needed directions to the restaurant.  Given that she took NY-22 most of the way, I gave her instructions on how to find the restaurant once in Brewster.

Since VW was going to be delayed for a few minutes, I decided to fill up my gas tank and fine tune the directions I gave her.  So, after I returned to the restaurant, I called her and told her how to complete her trip.  Shortly afterward, she arrived and we proceeded to order dinner. Although I won't discuss the topics VW brought up, I talked about RQS and our recent trip to California.  Soon, dinner came and we had a leisurely meal. Unfortunately, the service was even more leisurely to a fault.  It took forever for us to get our bill and to get our change.

Since we were the last people in the restaurant, we knew it was time to go home.  As we left the restaurant, I was reminded of why VW and I never made it as a couple - we both had the wrong baggage for us to be each other's match.  At least, we could be good friends....

RQS's cat stayed alive just long enough to see her one last time.

 

Cats.  Those who have them love them.  Those that don't often do not understand how these animals attach themselves to us, and how we bond to them.

- - - - - -

RQS 's cat has been ill for a while.  We didn't have a clue about what the problem was, but we knew that it was related to the cat being 18 years old.  Things started out with this cat not being able to control when it had bowel movements. Yet, after a visit to the vet, the cat seemed to be responding to medicine, and was regaining control - or, so we thought.

Recently, RQS had to put one of her cats to sleep.  It was both an emotional and financial decision, as this cat was "only" 13 years old.  When RQS was confronted by the knowledge of the treatments this cat would need, without any assurance that the cat would survive, RQS made the hard decision to put the cat to sleep.  As she said, it was her "husband's cat", a cat that never recovered from the death of RQS's husband. Putting her younger cat to sleep was a very emotional decision for RQS, and she knew that she would soon have to do the same for the older cat - "her cat", as she called it, as it attached itself to her when it was a kitten.  Sadly, today was that day.

This morning, I dropped RQS off at the train station, and she had an uneventful ride home.  Despite a very healthy appetite, the cat had been losing weight for a while.  However, she saw that this cat could not control its bodily functions any longer as she entered her apartment.  The cat was very weak.  So, off to the vet she went, and it was the day she feared.  "Her Cat" had to be put to sleep, and she was crying all the way home.

Chatting afterward, RQS sadly noted - "We won't have any scheduling problems anymore with our cruises."  To me, that's a sad byproduct of a heart wrenching loss....  Both of us would prefer to deal with the problems associated with this very lovable cat....

UPS fouled up, and now I will soon have 2 Dresses

 

A couple of days ago, I reported a delivery screw up regarding the above dress.  UPS and Lane Bryant reported this dress as being delivered.  However, it was not in my apartment's entryway, nor was it in front of my door. So I promptly called Lane Bryant to rectify the situation, and they sent me another dress without charge.  Yesterday, I received the above dress, and it looks better on me than it looks like in the picture.

Very early this morning, 1:30 am, as I've started writing this post, I receive a message from Lane Bryant - I will be getting a package delivered later today.  What could this be?  

Well....

I checked the timing of all my communications with Lane Bryant, UPS and the Post Office, and I think I know what happened:

1. Lane Bryant ships the package to me via UPS.
2. Two days ago, UPS and Lane Bryant say that the package was delivered to my door.
   (Lane Bryant is using UPS's tracking system to be notified of delivery, then sends me a message as well.)
3. I call Lane Bryant, and they issue a refund for the original shipment.  At this time, I place another order for the same dress at the same price as when I placed my original order.
4. Yesterday, a dress arrives at my door while I'm cleaning up the apartment.  (Dress #1)
   
5. After doing some shopping, I try on the dress and take the above photo.
6. The clock strikes midnight, and I get up to write my blog entry for the day.
7. At approximately 1:30, I see a message in my email from Lane Bryant - my package will arrive tomorrow.  (Dress #2)

From what I can tell, UPS decided to use the post office for last mile delivery.  Dress #1 was the dress that was reported as being delivered by both Lane Bryant and by UPS.  UPS reported delivery as complete when it wasn't.  Additionally, UPS reported the dress as having been left in the vestibule of my apartment.  So I had legitimate reason to believe that the package was not delivered to the right location.  The notification I just received probably refers to Dress #2.  This time, UPS does not look like it is involved with the delivery - the post office is handling the dress from first to last mile. 

At least, I can return one of the two dresses....

Cleaning up the mess in my apartment - a short post

 

RQS and I planned to do some cleanup work in my apartment today.  Guess what?  In less than two hours, she pronounced the place almost ready to have the cleaning lady start working in my place again.  The word "Almost" is the key word here.

- - - - - -

As I go into the nooks and crannies of my apartment, I find more things that can either be thrown out or donated to charity.  Today, we filled up another 3-4 bags for charity, as well as more bags of trash to be thrown out.  The dining room table is almost clear, and there are less boxes in back of the love seat in the left of this picture.  I couldn't have gotten this far without RQS's help, and I'll always be grateful for this help.  But I know that payback will come when I have to do the same for her at her apartment.

Once we finished dinner, it was time to go out and do some recreational shopping.  When I do this, it is always for things I could use, and not just for entertainment.  For example, today's shopping bag contained 4 LED light bulbs, Command Strips for damage free mounting pictures on walls, and a mouse pad that I can keep with my Chromebook computer.  On the way home, we stopped at Mickey D's for a treat before returning to my place.

On the whole, we accomplished more in 2 hours than I could get done in a week.  It's nice having someone around to help me be the best I can be.

Now to clean up the mess in my apartment

 

I only wish my dining room table was still this "uncluttered".  Right now, the whole apartment (including the table) is filled with clutter.  But how did it happen? And, how can I eliminate the clutter?

- - - - - -

Before Covid, the clutter in my apartment was being kept to a manageable level.  The bi-weekly (then monthly) visit by my cleaning lady gave me the incentive to keep this place neat enough for her to come in on a regular basis.  However, the pandemic got in the way of everything, and I no longer bothered trying to keep the place "neat".  (With what was going on in my life then, as mentioned in my former blog, I was too depressed to bother keeping the place neat.)  Now that I am feeling much better about life, and have a solid relationship with a new girlfriend, it's still hard to get this place in order.  I no longer have the energy to do much of anything without some assistance.

Over the past year or so, I have been donating bags of clothes I no longer wear to charity.  God knows how many bags I've already donated.  But now, things have slowed down a bit.  Yet, I have much more to get rid of, and RQS will help me prune things some more.  I'm a bit embarrassed to have people come into this place, and I will have to make room for an electrician to work on every outlet.  We have aluminum wiring on our 15a circuits, and they need to make sure that the proper connectors are being used, so that we don't have an electrical fire.  I'm going to be quite busy soon!

With all the effort I'm likely to make, I expect one important thing to come of all of this - a less cluttered apartment.  Let's hope that I can keep it that way.

My dress was not delivered like they said

 

I have mentioned this dress before.  It's something I plan to wear on Gala night on my upcoming December cruise.  However, it was not delivered as claimed, and I had to make some phone calls regarding the "delivery".

But first...

My alarms were set for 9:00 am, 9:30 am, and 10:00 am, so that I could make it to Arts Westchester by noon for Gallery Sitting. These alarms were needed, as I needed extra incentive to become fully conscious this morning.  Once conscious, I scanned my email, got ready to gallery sit, then drove to White Plains.

I got to White Plains with a minute or two to spare.  But no one was coming down to open the gallery.  So, I waited on the stairs for a few minutes, then went upstairs to find out what was going on.  Arriving on the 3rd floor, I found it virtually empty.  But I found someone who could help me, and the gallery was opened.

Halfway through the afternoon, I took a break for lunch, then returned for the rest of my shift.  And things were very different when I returned - AW's staff was preparing the gallery for a function to be held the next morning.  Just before I finished my shift, I received a message: Game Night was being cancelled, as the hosts' home had no electricity.  So, I figured that I might as well drive home.

Arriving home, I noticed a giant box in the hallway - someone had ordered a large shipment of toilet paper from Amazon.  At the same time, I received a message: UPS claimed that it had delivered my dress.  But the dress was nowhere to be found.  So, I put my dinner to be in the refrigerator and started to make a claim with UPS and to tell Lane Bryant that my dress wasn't delivered.  The long and short of this is that Lane Bryant decided to refund my original purchase, and place a replacement order to get a dress to me by mid next week.  Hopefully, there will be no other complications with this transaction.

I'm glad I don't work in the city anymore.

 

Lately, the temperature has broken the 90° mark, and people are sweltering outside. If I had still been commuting to the city, I'd feel as if I needed to take a shower to feel fresh when I got to work.  Even though I went to the City this past Monday, it is not something I'd want to do every day anymore.

There was a time where I would have been glad to put up with the headaches of commuting.  Not anymore.  If I can't get to work with a short drive, I don't want to consider the job.  I no longer need the money, and work is only something to keep myself busy.  Although I will do some volunteer work now and then, I would prefer to get a job that pays me - people care more for a person's work when they have to pay for it.  People don't care much for things that have not been assigned a specific value, and "Free" is something that is rarely valued.

And this leads me to think about the current day....

RQS and I have each been thinking about buying new mattresses.  My mattress has a sagging middle, while RQS's mattress has edges that no longer provide adequate support.  Too bad we couldn't combine our bad mattresses to make one good one.  Due to the weather, we won't be doing any mattress shopping until autumn, as both of us want to look at the Saatva mattress in their NYC showroom.  This will be an excuse for the two of us to take the subway into Manhattan, and explore the city a little bit.

In cooler weather, I'd feel no problem in going to RQS's place.  But when Summer comes, traffic gets fouled up even more the closer I get to RQS's apartment.  It seems that the combination of commuter traffic, stadium traffic, and airport bound traffic brings all the roads I want to use to a stand still when the weather gets warm.  RQS and I have an agreement - she takes the train up to see me during the summer, and I will drive down to her place during the cooler weather.  So far, this has worked out well for us.  It's too bad that we don't live closer to each other.  But this can be changed at some future date.

If I were still working in the city, I'd leave my car in Croton for weekends and stay at RQS's during the week.  Although my commute would likely have taken the same amount of time as taking the train from Croton, I'd have had the benefit of being with RQS all the time.  Since I am no longer working, I have to think about the day that I will no longer be able to drive.  At that time, I want to live in a place where both RQS and I will be able to get around without the need for a car.  If only such places were easy to find....

Retaining Walls and Building Repairs

 

How would you like to live in a building where its retaining wall has failed?  Well, this is the type of issue co-op boards should feel are their highest priorities.  And my board considers issues like this our highest priority, 

Yet, things get in the way of boards doing their right thing by their shareholders.  For example, the Surfside Condominium's collapse could have been prevented had its Homeowners Association (HOA) both maintained the building properly and repaired it as soon as signs of possible failure were detected.  However, many buildings constructed during a building boom are often shoddily built.  In the case of this building, it was doomed to collapse from the day it was built.

Could Surfside have been saved?  Maybe.  It would have taken a strong HOA and willing owners to supply the funds needed for the needed repairs. But this was not the case.  People balk when presented with a high repair bill.  If they can avoid it, smart people sell out early, leaving other "fools" to pay the bills for repairs - but they can't always sell out.  Currently, as a result of the Surfside collapse, many buildings in Florida are going through mandatory inspections and expensive defect remediation.

So I go back to the failed retaining wall in the picture.  If you were thinking of buying an apartment in the building adjacent to the wall, would you do so?  I wouldn't. Instead, I'd wait until the wall has been repaired, and be sure that all assessments for repairs have been made and collected.  Luckily, this is not my building and not my retaining wall....

A trip to lower manhattan that achieved nothing

The Oculus.  It's a beautiful work of architectural art.  But it was an enormous waste of money to many people, costing over $4,000,000,000 to build.  Supposedly, it is a transit hub.  Yes, you can reach many of New York City's subway lines here, as well as the PATH tubes.  But it is more of a shopping mall than it is anything else.

If you look closely at the above picture, the Oculus is more of an upscale shopping mall than anything else.  When one enters the building from one of the subway stations that reach its corners,  one can't help but notice the beauty of the place.  It is attractive.  But then one notices how many stores are located in this building.

But why did I end up going here today?

To start, I've wanted to go to the 9/11 memorial and museum for a long while.  But I refuse to pay full rate to go there, when I could go there for free after 5:30 pm on Mondays. So I tried to get tickets for today (I'm writing this on a Monday) and found that I was locked out.  Thinking that it was first come, first serve (such as MoMA was on Friday Evenings before the pandemic), I decided to try to go to the museum.  

 

To start, the Northern half of Metro North's Hudson line was impassable due to damage from abnormally heavy rains.  Although I could take the train from Croton-Harmon station, I had no idea of the operational confusion that would exist when I returned to Grand Central Terminal.  All I knew was that I was on a train which would make all local stops on the way to Grand Central - I'd make it to the memorial by 5:30 pm.

Arriving in Manhattan, I couldn't help but notice the heat.  And it felt worse as soon as I entered the subway.  As planned, I made it to the memorial shortly after 5:30, and found out that I had to get my tickets in advance.  They went "on sale" at 7:30 am, and were "sold out" shortly afterward.  This explains why I couldn't  get tickets via the online portal.

My next stop was the Oculus.  It looked sterile compared to the rest of the city's infrastructure.  Did I mind being there?  No.  But I wouldn't go out of my way to see this place or to shop there.  There was nothing there that I would buy, and most of the people I saw there were on their way to go to other places.

 
Finally, it was time for me to go home.  When I reached Grand Central, I found out that trains running on both the Hudson and Harlem lines were affected by washouts. And again, I ended up on a train making all local stops.  Arriving at Croton-Harmon, I considered myself lucky.  All I had to do was walk to my car.  Others had to get on buses like this to go to stations in Cortlandt, Peekskill, Beacon, and Poughkeepsie.  No one knows when the tracks will be restored enough to support daily commuter travel to/from New York City.

Reaching my car, I noticed that the weather was now perfect for being outside.  This was a perfect time to be wearing a nice flowing dress (which I was) and wish the daylight could have lasted a bit longer, so that I could finally enjoy some time outdoors.  No one can control when the sun sets - and that is a good thing for us.

Sinkholes and other headaches

 

This is the view of a road across the river from me.  I often used this road to return home from my (then) girlfriend's place before I was married. So I'm very surprised that this road would fail in this way.  Yet, I shouldn't be surprised, given the rain we've had lately.  Some TV weather reporter noted that our area received as much rain in one July day as we normally do for the whole month of July.  

Could this excessive rain be related to global warming?  To me, I can't be sure.  But when one mentions Global Warming in some circles, people become irate  A recent article in Fortune reports that many meteorologists are experiencing extreme reactions from the public because they choose to report weather related news honestly mentioning how climate change may be affecting local weather.  Even the weather has become politicized!

What about reports of global warming is so bad?  As I see it, they expose the possibility a given class of people are willingly ignorant of a demonstrable truth, and refuse to see their part (if not responsibility) in causing a global problem.  No one likes to admit that they are wrong.  And when a person's survival depends on being wrong, how can they afford to believe an inconvenient truth?

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In the past 5 years, we've seen excessively hot temperatures in the Pacific Northwest.  People living in homes which never needed air conditioning, now swelter during parts of the summer.  Wildfires in Quebec are producing particulates that result in this year's summer smog in New York, Chicago, Toronto and Montreal.  The world is changing around us, and global warming can explain it.

You'll note that I am not making any prescriptions on what society should do about this problem.  Instead, the first step to a solution (as I learned from a therapist) is to recognize what the problem is. And that's where I am annoyed.  Although I say that global warming is a theory, it is the one with the best evidence to support it.  It's a theory we should take seriously, as the risk factor is great.  We shouldn't be pointing fingers, labeling people as evil.  Many people still depend on the industries (e.g. coal mining) that have caused our problems.  We can't solve the problem unless we can give these people a way to both survive and prosper while retiring these industries.

So where does this leave us?  I don't know.  I have my doubts that the worst offenders will want to see how their actions have made things worse.  And yet, these are the same people who must be involved in the changes we need.  Somehow we must separate their past actions from their future actions, and allow them to move forward without feeling they should feel guilt about a past they couldn't control....

A short weekend with RQS as Marian

Even though RQS and I were going to spend less time together than what has become usual, this was going to turn out to be a special weekend - we would be getting pedicures together.  Finally, a whole weekend together where I'd be in Marian Mode!

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Unlike the past few weekends that RQS came to visit, she had things to do before getting on the Northbound train to Croton.  Arriving at dinnertime, RQS said that she wanted to eat either Mexican, Indian, or Japanese (Sushi) cuisines.  And the first place I could think of was near the Walmart in Mohegan Lake - Wild Fusion Asian Sushi Bar & Grill.  

Arriving at the restaurant around 6:00 pm, we found that the restaurant was almost empty.  Shortly after being seated, our orders were taken - and then we were forgotten about for a while. Things had changed since I was last here with FCP several years ago.  While waiting, I noticed that the seating area which once existed in front of the sushi bar was now a staging area for to-go and delivery orders. RQS noticed that the restaurant had filled up in the time between our orders were taken and the time our dishes reached the table.  Although we enjoyed the food and would normally eat there again, the slow and inadequate service turned us off from going back anytime soon.

Our next stop was the above mentioned Walmart.  I had lost (or misplaced) my set of keys to RQS's place, and needed a replacement set.  So, I figured that we could stop by the Key cutting kiosk there, and be out in 5 minutes.  Well, RQS forgot her login code for the machine, and we had to recut replacement keys from scratch.  (This time, I saved the key info under my email address, just in case I lose the keys again.) 10 minutes later, we were off to the supermarket to pick up goodies for the next night's dinner.  After our supermarket visit, RQS looked at her seat and noticed something unexpected - the missing set of keys.  At least, I now have 3 sets of keys to her place, one of them on Mario's key chain.  That should be the last time I misplace keys to her place....

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Saturday came, and we took our time before going out to get our nails done.  Since RQS has pottery class this coming week, she chose to only get a pedicure.  I chose to get a mani-pedi, and was now committed to going out in the world as Marian for the next week or so. For the next hour or so, we enjoyed being pampered by the ladies at the nail salon.  

Our next stop would bring us across the river, and down to Paramus, NJ.  I wanted to have RQS look at a dress I was interested in, as I wanted to be able to wear it on my upcoming cruise to the Bahamas;  RQS wanted to look at some clothes that would help her refresh her wardrobe.  So, I tried to find the dress that had been in plentiful supply at the Lane Bryant in Pelham, NY, while RQS browsed the store for things she was interested in.  Although I found the dress in an out of the way nook of the store, it was not in my size.  RQS said that she liked the dress, and I made a note to buy it online when it hit my net price point.  RQS found two tops that fit her well.  This was a very productive trip.

And then, it was time to go home for the evening.

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When we got up, RQS said that she was taking me out for brunch.  It was nice to be treated for a change. But neither of us had much energy, and we didn't get to the diner until 1:30 pm.  As we arrived, the heavens opened up, and we waited a little before dashing inside to eat.  Luckily, the rain had eased off by the time we left the diner, and it was back to my apartment to pick up RQS's bags for her return home.  A few minutes later, it was time to go - and this was fortuitous, as there was a (unscheduled?) train waiting to take RQS into Grand Central.  (Later, I'd find that there were floods on the line North of Croton-Harmon.)  Although RQS would get home later than expected, I'll bet that her cat wouldn't leave her alone once she opened the door to her apartment.