Changed Plans - a short post

 

Today, I was supposed to go into NYC with a friend, first going to MoMA, then going to dinner.  These plans had to change, as my friend wasn't feeling that well.  This gave me the opportunity to continue cleaning my apartment, do some laundry, and relax a bit.

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One of the problems I have with cleaning my apartment is that it is such a monumental task.  If you remember the puzzle above, the object is to move the tiles to that the numbers appear in proper sequence.  Sorting through the clutter in my apartment is a similar task.  In order to free up room for a move, I have to eliminate stuff so that I can move other stuff in its place.

Unfortunately, this takes up a lot of emotional energy, and I could only do so much.  Luckily, I got enough done to see some headway being made, though an untrained eye wouldn't notice anything. Sooner, or later, I will get this place looking presentable.  I just wonder when that day will come.

It's a fine day to do some house cleaning!

 

You should have seen this corner of the room before I started work on it!  There was a pile of assorted stuff where the fan is that had to be sorted through and dealt with - Keep, Donate, or Trash.  To do so, I had to make space in a second closet for the stuff I needed to keep.  So far, I'm at least $40 richer, as I found a cell phone holder that contained: (1) a $20 bill, (2) an MTA Metrocard for use on the subways, and (3) a blank check to be used for my co-pay when I visit my doctor.

At the time I wrote this, I still had the time to either go into NYC to catch a Broadway play at half price, or to visit my brother on Long Island.  So I'll talk about this (if warranted) some other day.  For now, I plan to keep up with my cleaning, then call CWS about getting together tomorrow.  At least, she understands the headaches of deferred house cleaning.

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A while back, I noted that I let things go to hell in my place shortly after the pandemic struck.  With the loss of two of the people I used to lean on for support, I had to build a new network from scratch - something very hard to do during the pandemic.  The mess that built up in this place was a direct result of the depression I was going through at the time.  Little did I know how bad this mess would grow.

Right now, my living room/dining area is a mess, and is filled with 5 large bags used for items I mean to donate to charity.  There will be more bags to go to charity in the near future, as I don't want to have storage containers (or shoes) in the other 3 corners of the bedroom.  Assuming that I were to get a new job (I'm waiting for the results of the interview.  I'm not counting on an offer, as I expect that age discrimination has already taken me out of the running), I will spend a couple of free days in a row to clean up this place.

Once I have this place tolerably clean, and have a place inside my closets for all of my feminine stuff, I will again have my cleaning lady come.  I'll bet that she will need an extra couple of hours (or more) to get rid of the dust, etc. that has accumulated over the two years since her last visit.

I woke up and found I said nothing

 

Lately, I've been trying to find something to say for each day.  However, Blogger has a nasty habit of leaving the wrong day in the date field even after a publish date has been set for an entry.  As a result of this glitch (they may call it a feature), I woke up to find that nothing posted today - something I had to rectify with this short post,

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As I write this, I have a documentary about Jerry Lewis on in the background. The French love him as a performer - I don't.  No accounting for their taste.  But then, I feel that one sentence best covers their only two positive attributes: "They know how and what to eat."  Yet, I can say that Lewis put in one good performance in his career - the movie "Boeing Boeing".  And even more importantly, he did raise a lot of money for charity.  

Over this weekend, I've been struck with a marvelous lack of energy - and a revelation: I need external reasons to get up and be active.  This might be the reason I've tried to stick at this boring job I do during the week.  I miss having someone to be with.  But it's better than being with the wrong person.

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Today, I plan to take care of some errands to keep myself busy.  I'm not sure if I will do it in Marian or Mario mode.  Either way, I'm going to get some sunshine while I can do so.  And on that note, I'll see you tomorrow....

Enjoying a needed lazy day doing very little.

After a large feast, one's body needs time to recover.  And today was my time to rest.  I could have gone out and run some errands.  Instead, I relaxed in bed all day until evening came.  And then, as the sun went down, I started to fill up another donation bag (or two) with clothing from Mario's side of the closet.  I feel that if I lose weight, I would be better served by buying a new wardrobe in my new size, instead of wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in several years.

If you wonder why I might refresh Mario's side of the closet some time in the future, it's simply because I'm not sure if I want to close the door as going out as Mario now and then. Until then, I have more than enough clothing on that side of the closet to get by.

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Right now, I know of some people who are also doing this sort of house/apartment cleaning.  One person I know has a deadline to get a residence cleaned out.  Another person simply has to pack up his goods and move out of a condo he's been living in for 3 years.  And still another person I know is simply doing a declutter operation, so that her place stays clean.  This person has suggested that I hire some help (as TCL has done) to facilitate this process.  I am not yet ready for this yet.  Instead, I'm treating my cleaning task as a form of "Swedish Death Cleaning."

My current goal is to prune both Mario's and Marian's closets to something resembling a normal couple's closets. And this involves a little ruthless pruning of things that are no longer worn in either mode.  I have already pruned garments given to me by my former cruise partner.  But I have kept a few of the things which are compatible with my current wardrobe style.

Hopefully, I will get the bulk of this cleanup done before I have the opportunity to bring someone back to the apartment.  But first, this cleanup, then getting my cleaning lady in to do her magic....

I'm grateful to have friends who accept me for who and what I am.

 

This is a picture taken on Thanksgiving Day.  The daughter of our Host & Hostess caught a female praying mantis and is keeping it in a tank in their living room.  I accidentally knocked the paper cover off the tank. And in the precious few seconds it took me to cover it back up again, the mantis had escaped. By the time we noticed it was gone, it has encamped itself on the fireplace mantle, from where the daughter got control of it again.

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This year's Turkey Day was much more pleasant than last year.  Instead of trying to find a nice restaurant to eat at within a day or two of the holiday then scuttling those plans for Boston Market takeout because of FH's daughter's issues, it was nice to know I had a place to go to and a nice place to share a meal with friends.  (Did I ever mention that FH lives in an apartment that depresses me, due to its paint scheme, its clutter, and general style?) 

I am very comfortable around the host & hostess of game night, and they know and accept me for who and what I am.  And I am grateful that they invited me (and other game night friends) over to their house to celebrate Thanksgiving.  I'm even more grateful that they were able to accommodate Vicki as my plus one.  

Yes, much of the day was centered around food.  But there was also a lot of good conversation.  And for the first time, no games.  It just wouldn't have been right....

Work - Should I or shouldn't I?

 

Today's post will be a quick one....

I don't recall ever feeling physically exhausted from 40 years of working in front of a computer screen.  But this job is very different.  There is not enough visual downtime from low level mental processing.  So an interesting question comes to me - Should I or Shouldn't I continue going to work?  Should I retire for good?

Although I enjoy going to work as Marian, it's not the work I wanted to do.  But the money coming in is very useful to me.  And I need to make it last.  So I was having a conversation with a friend at work, and we were discussing financial issues while I was working at indexing documents.  She didn't understand what I was trying to do with money (planning on putting money into Roth IRAs 2 years in a row instead of using the company 401k plan), but it made sense after an explanation.  This gave us an opening to talk about finances after work one day.  It should be an interesting conversation....

One step forward and two steps back.

 

Although my company has been around for a while, it became another corporate poker chip in the game of "business line poker."  The more they try to do good by the employees, the more they make mistakes in doing so.

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The first example of trying to do the right thing was a pre Thanksgiving pot luck lunch to help build team morale.  But asking people to spend time and money to help with this event was a big mistake.  Many of these low wage employees don't have any excess money to spend on this event, nor do they have the time to do the cooking in advance.  So after a few days, management started putting up signs saying that the pot luck lunch was cancelled.

Next came the mandatory attendance for the new 401k plan.  Although its provides for a better match for employee contributions (50% of an employee's contribution up to 3% of the employee's salary for the pay period), the company chosen to provide the funds is a high expense fund provider.  The old plan put money into Vanguard funds.  The new plan uses Fidelity.  Needless to say, when the only choices are Lifecycle Target Date plans, the fund management company effectively double dips into the load pool.  To make things worse, the company match isn't fully vested until one has been there for 3 years.  I plan to be retired by then.  So it makes more sense for me to open up a Roth IRA with Vanguard.

As I would describe things at the office - two steps forward and one step back.

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After I left the office, I went to a meetup of the FTF's in Fairfield, CT.  Although it took over an hour to drive there, it was worth the drive to be having dinner with friendly faces again.  No, it's not like the group I used to attend in the Hudson Valley - I'll take whatever camaraderie I can get these days.  But I can't help but think that I would have been in a better position 3 years ago in the Hudson Valley,  had I known to deal with issues with the ex-girlfriend and with my former cruise partner at that time.

But I'm not going to dwell upon the past.  I've talked about it more than enough, and I'm doing better than I should be doing after last year's disasters.  And that's something to be grateful for.

Gradually, my blog is finding a new voice

 

Lately, I've noticed something.  With getting out and about as Marian being a common occurrence, other things have been taking up bandwidth in my life.  I'm seeing that I've been focused on the vacations I want to take, instead of affairs in my life.

In the past, I wrote too much about things in my life that included way too much about what was going on in others' lives.   Now, I have little to say about most of the other people in my life - save for minor things, or for very important things.  The things in the middle are gone.  An example of the little things would be going on a date with MWL or CWS.  An example of the big things would be the kerfuffle with FH.  It is no longer what I once said about FCP.  Sadly, I'll never be able to make it up to her as much as I once wanted to do this - she's permanently pissed off at me, and me at her (for other reasons).

Unlike the years leading up to 2020, I was not working then.  With 2020 and 2021, work has taken up a lot of my time.  And not much has been worth reporting here because I don't have as much time to live my life as before.  But that's OK ...for now.  I plan on retiring again soon, and getting back to many of the activities I love, and seeing the people I want to see again.

 

As much as I'd like to go on this cruise, I can't do so.

 

A year and a half ago, I was thinking of a Panama Canal cruise that went from New York City to Seattle. This cruise route is no longer being offered, and I doubt it will be offered until 2025 at best.  So the above route is the best alternative I can find that does both a full transit and will bring the total cost of the trip in at a price under $5,000 (at the time I'm writing this entry).

Now that I'm sailing alone, I have to focus on being more frugal than I was a couple of years ago.  Although this cruise sails out of Florida and ends in California, I can fly to Florida, meet up with a friend or two, then sail to San Francisco (via the canal), and then fly home with minimal difficulty.  However, this would be a trip made in Mario Mode.  So I'd leave all my feminine trappings at home.  

This trip would have one big advantage - I could change my plans and have a new travel partner come with me.  If I'm very lucky, a woman with whom I've had a few dates will be coming with me, as we share the same interests in trips.  But I'm not counting chickens before they hatch - I'm still waiting for the eggs to be laid.

As I said, I won't be going on this cruise.  One of these two conditions will be true: (1) I'll still be employed by the firm where I work now, or (2) I'll be working in a new organization.  Either way, conditions will make it impossible for me to take this trip in 2022.  And, I'm not sure if I want to take this bucket list cruise in the same year that I want to take my Hawaii cruise.

Lunch with a friend, then taking care of business afterwards.

I

 

I had scheduled lunch with a friend today. And, as usual, I was running a little bit late.  But my friend was also a little bit late, due to not seeing a permit restriction on the parking meter.  So, we ended up getting to the restaurant at the same time. Lunch was at a place I used to go to regularly when I worked for the bank.  So I knew it was likely to be good, and likely to be moderately priced.  And it was.  The conversation flowed like water, and the two of us are likely to meet up again soon - at least, I hope so

 

Getting home quickly was a must, as I knew that my GI tract was going to play a game with me - and it did.  But after a few minutes, I was OK and ready to go out again.  But I took it easy.  While out, I spoke with MWL, and she wasn't feeling that well.  So we cancelled our get together for the next morning.. This freed up my day, and I proceeded to go back to bed and sleep a little bit.  

Since daylight was gone, I knew that there wasn't that much I could do. Doing a lot of apartment cleanup is still needed, but something I wasn't ready to tackle.  (Maybe if I had someone in my life that meant a lot to me, I'd find the energy.  But that story is not one to be told today.)  Yet, I did find the time to look for two very important documents and found a third as well.  When I'm ready to sell my car, I will need both the finance company release of lien and the title to my car. And I found those two documents neatly filed away - something I don't usually do.  And then, I found the mortgage company's release of lien to my apartment.  This was something I didn't expect to see filed where I found it.  This was a nice stroke of luck for me.

Afterwards, I debated to whether I'd see the new Ghostbusters movie.  Part of me wanted to stay home. And part of me wanted to go out.  At the time I started this entry, I did not know what I wanted to do.  But I went out anyway - and enjoyed a good reworking of the original story - this time, with one friendly ghost.

Going into the weekend - a quick post.

 

The above mugshot was taken before all the crud started to hit the fan in my life.  Although I only worked at the nursing home for 4 nights (without any known complaints), it was a valuable experience for me.  It was my first job working as Marian.

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Why do I mention this?

I got a response from my former cruise partner today. (Today, meaning the day I'm writing this entry.)  She claimed that she tossed my letter - as I expected she might.  Sad for her.  She could have learned a lot by reading the letter.  But then, she never was much of a person to be introspective, or to be calm when processing things with which she is uncomfortable.  In anger, I responded by telling her to go screw herself and the horse she came in on.  Knowing the horse, she might get better action from the horse than she was getting from her then BF when we were still friends.  (I'm just joking here.  I have no way of knowing this, nor would I want to know. The horse deserves its privacy. 😉 ) 

Being serious, I know I wronged her two years ago.  It's her over the top unchecked anger that is a problem.  I'd hate it if we were to bump into each other in a public place.  She's just crazy enough to cause an unwanted  scene, as she goes from Zero to 100 in a heartbeat.  I'm just glad we live 30 minutes apart, travel in different social circles AND will be sailing on different cruise lines. One thing our last cruise taught me is to avoid doing things with a lonely person after she breaks up with her lover.  I'm just glad that I will never again hear her complain about people being too busy to deal with her immediate needs and desires.

There will never be much more to say about her in this blog.  She became a non-person after our dust up, and is no longer worth the price of a postage stamp. Yet, it's amazing how people can be assholes (myself included) at times. It's just funny that she reads my blog at times, when she hates me so much.  (Now, with this post, she has something she can complain about for the last time - just not to me.)

I can only look forward to the future with friendships healthier than our friendship was. Yet, I must thank her for helping me grow as Marian when I needed it most.

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At least, the rest of the weekend will go off on a better note.  I'm looking forward to seeing miniature "Stay Puft Marshmallow Men" on the big screen....

 

PS: If you liked the 1st film, you'll like this one.  It's the sequel the 1st film deserved.

 

 

I'm usually in a rush....

 

Today's entry will be short....

One of the problems in working as a woman is that in order to go out into the world, I need to make up my face to look presentable.  But before that, I have to shave all over my body to remove any traces of unfeminine hair that may show up on my body.  But this isn't a perfect process - I can't do my back as often as needed.

Over time, feminine grooming (Marian style) has come easy to me.  When I follow my routine in sequence, things go quickly, and I can be out the door in about an hour if needed.  This is something that my transgender readers must understand - it takes time to learn how to make one's self presentable, and more time to learn how to do this quickly.  I've learned how and when I can edit down my shaving routine, and what I must do to look nice in a hurry.

Yet, there are some things that will always take time, such as putting on pantyhose.  If they'd stay up, I'd wear thigh-highs under my longer dresses if possible.  This would be an advantage when I have to wear an all-in-one foundation undergarment.  (I have avoided them when getting dressed to the nines, as I hate the headache of using hook and eye closures after a visit to the loo.   

At least, getting myself ready to go to bed is much quicker than my morning routine.  And with that, I'll sign off for the night.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am very grateful that I have almost made it through the pandemic in "good health."  Although there are things I've lost due to the pandemic, I am happy that my brother and his family got through the worst in good health. I am happy that my real friends made it through the pandemic safely.  And, most importantly, I am grateful not to have infected by the virus.

Unlike many people, I didn't have financial worries during the worst of things.  I appreciate this luxury that I had that many didn't have.  The only important worries I had were for the sake of others.  And most of those worries didn't turn into problems.  The friends and family that caught the virus recovered from it and are mostly OK.  (I can't say for sure if any have/do not have any long term symptoms.)  

Other than this, I don't have too much to say.  I'd rather focus on having a good dinner with people I care about....

I never thought that I'd be saying NO to meetup groups.

 

Today's post will be a quick one, as I don't have much to say today.

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Recently, I've been saying "No" to attending meetup groups more often than I want to bother attending them.  This amazes me after all the "Sturm und Drang" I was dealing with last year.  

Right now, I'm bored with people.  Dating is a hassle, and there are times that I can't bother with the effort. Even though I feel a little lonely at times, the effort of leaving my shell often takes up more energy I want to expend in the process.  

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Could you say that I am depressed?  Maybe.  Yet, I feel like I'm still recovering from the disaster that was 2020. I was hurt by two of the people I cared about most  (In one case, I was not the innocent party.  But that's another story told elsewhere - such as in my prior blog, which is no longer available to anyone.) I spent so much energy trying to find ways to connect with people that I ignored the connections I already had.

Until things fully get back to normal, I don't know how well I can recharge.  But I know that being able to interact with the world as Marian will be part of the process.

 

Another cruise has been added to my bucket list

I stumbled across the above trip last night, and it's one I'll have to take in Mario mode.  Seeing Antarctica has been on my bucket list for a while.  Although this NCL cruise doesn't go to the Antarctic mainland, it is close enough to suit my wishes.  (I'm not going to blow the whole wad on a Hurtigruten cruise to this region, when I can spend half as much and still have a good time.)

Hopefully, I will have a new travel partner by the time I take this cruise.  However, I am not going to limit myself to NCL for a cruise in this region.  I could just as easily take the Princess cruise below:

This is a cruise that spends more time in Antarctica, allowing the cruiser to get a longer view of the beauty of that region of the planet.  This cruise might be the better deal of the two cruises, as it seems to have a broader scope of things to see on the trip.

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Bucket list trips are meant to be shared with someone.  I'm hoping that both of these trips will be available at year end 2023, so that I can choose between the two (or more) Antarctic cruises that may be sailing then. I only wish my late wife was still alive to share this experience with me.

 

Here's one cruise ship I won't sail on with a friend

Above is a screen clipping from a blogger whose posts I read now and then.  This woman cruises on the cheap and provides advice to people on how to take more cruises for less.  In this case, she notes the most unusual "bathroom" layout she's found on a cruise ship.

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Most cruise ships use a bathroom layout similar to that pictured on the left.  There is a toilet, a shower stall, and a sink in the same compartment.  Once in that compartment, one has complete privacy.  This is not the case on the Norwegian Epic, whose bathroom layout is illustrated on the right. The picture below should give you a better idea of how this looks from the inside.

What bothers me most about this layout is that I would have no privacy if a friend entered/exited the room while I was showering or relieving myself.  There is little reason for a layout like this, save to skimp on passenger space.

And this leads to the selection of a potential cruise partner.  Having cruised alone, and with 3 different women, I've learned that being in close quarters with the same person for a week (or more) can be better than sailing alone, or much worse than sailing alone.

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I have taken only 2 cruises by myself.  The first was a solo cruise to Alaska after losing my wife to cancer.  The second was an 11 day cruise to the Caribbean where I had a great time on the ship and made a couple of new friends.  Both of these cruises were taken in an inside cabin, and the only thing I can remember about the first cruise ship was how dark it was when the lights were out.  With the second ship, I don't remember the cabin much at all.  This, I think, was related to the mood I was in before taking the cruise.

My second cruise was taken with the girlfriend I had met shortly after losing my wife.  We were joining another couple who was celebrating their honeymoon and invited us to join then on the cruise.  (No, two couples, two separate rooms.)  I have stories I can tell about this cruise, but can't remember much about the ship, save for the main dining room where they served Baked Alaska on the cruise's final night. Then there was the cruise to Florida and the Bahamas I took with another (now) ex-girlfriend.  This was not a good cruise for the two of us to take, as it illustrated the problems that two people with two different styles would have being together - the activities on board and on shore days were not those that would bring the two of us closer together. Lastly, there were the cruises I took with my former cruise partner.  Although we had very different interests, we meshed well on all but one cruise.  We did different things, and got together for dining and for shows.  (I won't go into any detail regarding the last cruise we took together, as that was problematic from before the start. Even my Ex-Girlfriend said that going on that cruise was a big mistake for both of us, reminding me that I didn't want to go in the first place.  The former cruise partner was lonely, and needed something I could not give her in my role as a friend.)  Because I wasn't expected to entertain this partner, we got along well for our good cruises.  But on this last cruise, she exploded as she was dealing with too many stressors, with an action of mine catalyzing the explosion.  (I hope she does better with her next cruise partner.)

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Finding a compatible cruise partner can be hard.  First, you have to know whether the two of you have compatible personal habits.  ("How much space does he/she use in a cabin?"  "Is this person messy?" "Does this person snore?" are among the questions I might ask.)  Then, you may want to know whether that person needs to be "entertained" while on the cruise.  For example, I can do shore excursions by myself, and I can do them with someone.  But they have to be ones I want to do, and they will usually be ones I haven't done before.  You'll want to know whether a person is a night owl or an early bird.  This is important for the last night of the cruise, as the ship's crew is trying to get everyone off the ship as early as possible the next morning, so that they can make up the rooms for the next group of passengers.  (Who wants to hear complaints from someone who doesn't share the same sleep/wake cycle as you when dealing with the stresses of disembarkation and going home?)

Once you find this travel partner, get as much travel in as possible.  Cruises, land travel, etc. are fun, and best done with a friend.  Some of my best trips were shared with someone close to me.  Even now, I can still chuckle about a summer trip we took where we stayed in a hotel without air conditioning. (We didn't need it.)  I still want to return to a hotel on the banks of the Merced river, just outside of Yosemite park, where I stayed with a then girlfriend.  And I wish I could have traveled more with my wife while she was alive.  Now that I can have both money and time, I expect that I will be traveling again soon.  And I hope to have a friend with me with whom I can build memories.



What advice would you give to someone regarding travel partners?

 

 

We all have baggage!

I can still remember when people with money traveled with steamer trunks like the one pictured above.  These were sturdy items meant to take abuse - and many of these cases did.  Although I'm going on a cruise soon, the days of these trunks are long gone, and many have been repurposed for use as furniture. Even the luggage I had up to a couple of years ago is obsolete, as the goal now is to make a suitcase as strong and light as possible.  This allows a person to carry more items (usually clothing) in a suitcase, and still not get hit with overweight charges when taking a flight.

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Today, I am thinking of the problems I might have when I tall one woman that I live a good portion of my life as Marian.  Will she run away, as several other women have done?  Or, will she be intrigued?  How do I phrase things as not to scare this woman off?  The woman I want to reveal myself to has baggage of her own.  She has taken on a responsibility that few women would accept - all to help two people who are not in a position to help themselves yet.  So there might be a positive ending, if we could see things through to a positive ending. 

Right now, it's been over 2 years since a woman has shared a bed  with me, and I miss the experience.  Yet, this period has been one of growth.  I've had to learn NOT to lean on two people I once depended on - and I've come out OK.  (I wonder how well one of them is doing - but I'm not going to ask about it.)  It seems that losing important people in my life causes emotional growth spurts for which I see things differently at the end of the process.  

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I have more baggage than just being Marian.  But I only plan to show it to someone who is comfortable trusting me enough to see all of her baggage.  I wonder how long it will take for that to happen....

I sent out a letter

The other day, I sent out a letter to someone I once had as a close friend.  Although I was the person who caused the rift two years ago, I was recently pissed at her for  cursing me out for no real reason.  She perceived a slight from me when I disagreed with her labeling of an action of hers as a favor when it wouldn't be considered such by most people.  I figured that I'd bide my time, and waited to send my response to her.  

Now, my recent letter wasn't nasty.   No longer was I going to be apologetic for what I did, now that 2 years have passed. If we hadn't found a way to rebuild a burnt bridge, then why keep trying?  Instead, I simply needed to get some things off my chest other than my falsies.  Sadly, she is the type to anger easily, and never consider a form of reconciliation.  (No, I'm not looking for a friendship.  Instead, I just wanted to say a couple of things I felt she needs to hear.)  Nor is she the type to listen to what someone else has to say when she feels slighted.  Thankfully, there never was any sexual chemistry between us - I'd hate to have lived with her "Sturm und Drang" under the same roof.

Do I miss this ex-friend?  Sometimes, but not often.  I miss her even less now after she tried to make me feel bad for not having her in my life. There are times that I want to share something, then realize that this person is no longer in my life and not available for sharing. (I scattered the ashes of that former friendship months ago.)  Luckily, I have enough people in my life with whom I can share things, and I don't need this person anymore.

This ex-friend once thanked me for introducing her to another of my acquaintances, but did it in a way which felt like she was trying to rub salt into old open wounds. (This acquaintance now knows of what happened at the end of summer, and of this letter.) It would be nice if this ex-friend would think of how other people would think of her words and actions before doing anything, instead of speaking or acting on impulse.  Maybe, she might get the happiness she wants and deserves in life.  I hope she finds this happiness soon.  I just won't be there to see it.

 

 

Happy Birthday Someone!

 

I accidentally deleted my original entry for the day.  However, I found this birthday card, and picked it up because it reflected my sense of humor.

In many ways, birthdays don't mean that much to me. The reason they don't is that I rarely had someone to celebrate them with.  As a youth, I didn't have many friends.  In middle age, my wife had passed away, and there was no stable relationship with a person who cared to mark this day with me.  And now, its only meaning is to note how much closer I am to death.

Recently, I booked a cruise, and looked at the travel insurance price charts. Each year I get older, I have to pay more for the insurance I need for the cruise.  Then, I thought about turning 65, and having to enroll in Medicare.  So many things start to kick in as one gets older.  Social Security Full Retirement Age (FRA) Distribution starts for me at 66 1/2, and I have to start taking Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs) by the time I turn 72.  Each year denotes something, and not all of them are pleasant.

- - - - - -

There is a person whom I'd wish a Happy Birthday to, that I am no longer in contact anymore.  (She has said things about me that I won't repeat here - her anger regarding a screw up of mine hasn't dissipated in over 2 years.)  Hopefully, she'll see this and enjoy the sentiment of the card above.  

At least, I found this card funny....

As they say - Getting old is better than the alternative....

I broke down and bought something I could use at work.

Normally, I would not bother buying an MP3 player, as I already own a cell phone which can play MP3 files.  However, I figure that as long as I'm working where I work, it makes sense for me to listen to music (or radio) via an MP3 player which is unable to be used for taking pictures ot recording images.

Given that Apple no longer supports its original iPod music players, only 3rd tier Chinese manufacturers are producing units that suit my needs.  And that suits me fine.  This unit comes with all I need to carry my complete music collection with me when I go to work.  And even if I leave this job soon, I can carry it with me when I'm eventually called in for jury duty.  (The judges do not want people waiting in the jury selection area to be bothered by phones ringing, disturbing the selection process.)

I figure that having a unit like this will serve a limited function for a limited amount of time.  And that's fine with me, as I am tired of not having any stimulation while sitting at my work station.

 

PS: I had to return this unit, as it didn't play files saved in my iTunes format (M4A).
PPS: I ordered a replacement that plays M4A files.