I'm glad I've had a good relationship with my neighbors so far....

 

My original plans for the day were to write about getting my nails done and having dinner with Vicki. Well, things changed, as Vicki was a little under the weather and I got up too late to do much of anything other than going to the buffet for dinner.  And yet, I have something crappy to write about.

- - - - - -

Years ago, water from my apartment caused a problem in the apartment below me.  I'm not sure of whose insurance paid for the repairs, but I know I didn't put in a claim on my insurance.  On New Year's Eve, RQS took a bath, and the water overflow caused damage to the bathroom ceiling occupied by my new neighbors.  Luckily, that problem was caused by pipes within the walls, and the co-op's insurance paid the bill.  Unfortunately, a toilet bowl overflow happened tonight, and I'm not sure of the status of the apartment below me.

When I got home from dinner, I proceeded to the loo to take care of a pressing matter.  (No need to be more graphic here.)  Well, the flush didn't get everything through the pipes, and I tried to plunge the toilet.  Unfortunately, after a second flush, waste water got all over the bathroom floor, and it took several towels to absorb all the liquid.  (You can guess I'll be the first to do laundry in the morning.) And this got me to thinking - did any of the waste water get through to the ceiling below me?  I'd hate to pay for any damages, as well as filing an insurance claim for the damages caused by the overflow.

I figure that I'll tough base with my neighbors in the morning, just to see what's up. Hopefully, they won't be too upset with me if there is a problem. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

A "Half and Half" day

 

I hate having to dress as Mario and then change into Marian (or, vice-versa).  Today was one of those days that I had to see the doctor in the morning, and then change into Marian before going to game night in Yonkers.  So, I had to partially make myself ready for the day to see my doctor. And then, I had to finish the job after I was home....

- - - - - -

My doctor has been looking for a way to get my blood pressure where he'd like it to be for several years now.  And today was a day that I knew he'd likely hector me a little about exercise and losing weight. What I didn't expect was that he ran a little bit late before seeing me, and that we'd be talking about vacations - specifically, him thinking of taking the same Hawaii cruise that I took.  The good news for the day was that the new medicine I am taking did what it was supposed to do with my blood pressure. This made him comfortable telling me to come back in a little over 2 months this time - something that I didn't expect.

Once done with the doctor, I picked up an egg sandwich at the local deli.  However, there was a minor mishap.  Just after I placed my order, a mob of teenagers came in to place their lunch orders (the high school is less than a block away) and that created confusion at the deli.  I was given the wrong order, and had to go back to the deli to get the right order.  Luckily, they didn't hand my sandwich to someone else.

I then went home and relaxed for a while before getting dressed as Marian for game night.  Luckily, I made it there early enough for me to play in the single game the group played this evening.  Although I didn't win, I wasn't in last place.  And that was a miracle for me.  When things broke up, I mentioned to the hostess that I finally have pierced ears, and will soon be able to wear the earrings that they gave me a few years ago.

- - - - - -

On the way home, I chatted with RQS and we discussed our plans for the next few weeks.  Yes, we will be quite busy going back and forth between our apartments.  But it will be fun....

Seeing another friend for dinner

 

RQS knows that I have more female friends than male friends, and most of them know me as Marian, even though they know of Mario's existence. Today, I visited one of those friends.

- - - - - -

RO and I have known each other for several years.  We once dated each other, but things didn't work out. When we stumbled across each other a few years later, we developed a friendship and kept in loose touch with each other.  I had my relationship with XGFJ while RO got married to a nice gentleman.  

The last time I met RO in person was last September.  Neither of us realized how long it had been, as both of us had been busy living our lives since then.  RO has retired, while I have taken 3 cruises, as well as a trip to Washington, DC since then.  So we had a lot to catch up on over an early dinner at the same Italian restaurant we've eaten at before.  Both of us have the ailments that come with getting old, and I was reminded of why things didn't work out between us. (I didn't want to be with someone who would have similar health problems as Ex-GF-M was having, and Ex-GF-M's death proved me right.)  Yet, we could be good friends, especially given that RO is a warm and caring person.

All too soon, dinner had to end, and I had to drive home. We agreed to eat at Fuddruckers down the road a piece.  Neither of us like dropping $75 on dinner when we're living on a budget.  So next time, dinner will be much more affordable, and much more casual.  And for me, this will be the first time I will be eating at a Fuddruckers since the last of the New York State (New York City region) restaurants closed years ago.

Considering that I wanted to look at some clothes at Lane Bryant, I took the long way back home through Paramus.  While on the road, I told TCL about another dress store that RQS and I have visited: Karina Dresses. And she looked up the dress pattern that made me think of TCL when I saw it.  Sadly, the dresses were not available in her size for the fabric pattern she liked.  But she will keep an eye on the site for future dresses she might enjoy wearing.

When I got to Lane Bryant, I tried on a couple of dresses.  One was in a pattern and style I liked, and if I didn't have one being shipped to me soon, I would have bought it at the store.  The other left a lot to be desired.  So I left those dresses at the store, and went home for the evening.

Being Widowed

 

Today, I saw 2 friends I haven't seen in a dog's age.  The first was my friend Maria, and the second was my friend Vicki (#2).  My 2 friends and I share a common bond - we have all been widowed, and we have all had to deal with a great loss.  

- - - - - -

It has been 26½ years since I lost my wife, 3 years for Maria, and less than a week for Vicki.  We are all on the road of processing our respective losses.  And I still remember enough of the pain I felt to provide some comfort to my friends.

At lunch today, Maria and I talked about our losses and how ignorant people could magnify the pain we still feel in regard to our losses.  I mentioned that it is not uncommon for songs to trigger crying fits, for people to say things without malice that can trigger anger, and (at times) for ourselves to lose our reasons for being.   Widowhood is not easy, but the grief we feel is needed to tell us how important a person was to us.  Confronting it and processing it is the way for us to heal - even if the loss scars us forever.

All too soon, Maria had to leave, and I was off to see Vicki before taking care of errands of my own. When I arrived at Vicki's place, I was warmly greeted and we sat down to chat for an hour.  Her mind wasn't fully there, as there was similar sense of numbness to what I felt when I lost my wife.  The constant care-taking had ended, and the continual processing of new pain was over.  Now, she has to move forward with her life, process the pain she will feel because of her loss, and figure out what her next act will be.

You will note that I did not give many details about my two friends, save when they were widowed. These 2 friends share more than membership in a sisterhood of widows.  They share a common humanity - people who have been there for people until that need has ended.  And for that, I will be there for them when they need a friend.

Be careful when performing aftercare on a new ear piercing

 

Be careful when performing aftercare on a newly pierced ear.  If the stud is lose, it can easily be lost - and I did just that.

But first....

This would be my first weekend away from my home (Read: I would be at RQS's place) and would need to perform my 2x-3x daily aftercare routine in a new setting.. I didn't think too much of this, as the stud was loosely applied to its backing, so that I'd have room to clean the area around the piercing and move the stud a little bit to help with healing.

At my place, I'd usually sit at my computer desk and perform the aftercare ritual there. However, at RQS's place, I'd be standing by her sink to perform the ritual. And this is where and when the stud popped out.  All of a sudden, the stud was propelled forward by the backing and fell into the sink.  Damn!  If I had blocked the drain, I'd have never lost the stud.  Now, I'd need a new stud to keep the hole open.

The next morning, RQS and I went to a local jewelry shop, and I had new studs put in.  OUCH!  The woman was not delicate with what she was doing, and my ears would feel irritated for a few days.  The backing to the studs were on tight, and I knew aftercare would be harder to perform for the next month or so.

I can't wait until I can wear normal earrings for the first time.  Yes, I'll need to keep the studs in until then.  But I can't wait to show my friends at game night that I can now wear the earrings that they gave me one Christmas.

So...

Be careful when getting your ears pierced.  You will need to perform aftercare, and it'd be a shame to go what I went through if you aren't careful when doing it....

Welcome to Clown Town - Finally!

 

Picture this: the audience rolls into a seemly delightful birthday party filled with bright colors and balloons. The sounds of children laughing with glee are heard as Pixie rolls onto center stage. With her sweet smile beaming, she pops a balloon with a hint of murderous rage: "Awwww, may it rest in pieces". This begins the rock 'n' roll ride through outlandish personal stories of working as a party clown in NYC and Hollywood.

 - - - - - -

I had tried to see "Welcome to Clown Town" the other day, and got to the theater too late to get in.  So I suggested to RQS that we go to see this play before I had to go home at the end of the weekend.

But first....

The day before, we went into Manhattan to see a film at the Quad Cinema.  Due to the weather and weekend subway schedules, RQS and I had a hard time reaching the theater from her place due to the rain and the subway's weekend schedules.  (The subway's weekend schedule usually terminates the M Train's service at Essex street, a location not convenient for most of the connections we needed to make.)  So we took a bus to catch the L Train to Union Square (where service terminated due to maintenance work), then walked the rest of the way to the theater.  Once we reached the theater, we found that we arrived too early and needed to kill an hour before the showing.  So, it was off to get something to nibble on to ease the rumbling in our stomachs before walking back to the theater in the rain to see the film.  And then, we ended up walking over to the West Village for dinner before going home.

- - - - - -

Sunday came, and it was time to see Welcome to Clown Town.  RQS had gotten some virtually free tickets (we only paid a service fee) to see the play, and we left for the theater an hour and a half before the scheduled performance time.  We needed each and every minute of this time, as we had to reach 36st street and 8th avenue from an area of Queens served by (formerly) BMT lines.  Like yesterday, we ended up taking the L Train into Manhattan. But, instead of walking 1.8 miles to the theater in the rain, we took a convoluted path via subways to reach the Penn Station area.

Finally we got to the theater, and had the chance to see the play.  Although it was short, it was very entertaining.  I can only imagine what this woman felt when she was hired out to perform for an hour at a gang member's children's birthday party, and the family attempted to use force to prevent her from escaping their clutches. (She was lucky to be able to use her to escape.)  If I'm in the mood, I might go to see it again before it closes.  But I doubt I'll have the chance to do so.

Next, it was out in the pouring rain and off to a diner for an early dinner.  By the time we were seated, the heavens opened up, and we were lucky to get inside without getting drenched.  And then, it was into the subway system to attempt getting home.  For what should have been a 2 or 3 train ride, it took us 5 trains to get home.  Weekend subway maintenance and the rain made a 1 hour trip take almost 2 hours, as we avoided certain bottlenecks where crowds would either force us to wait a long while for a train, or cause us to stand for an hour.

- - - - - -

We reached RQS's place as the rain was easing off. All too soon, I had to leave her and go home.  It'll be a bit longer than usual until I see her again.  But, this will give me a chance to see some people I don't usually have the chance to see, and to do some of the things I don't usually have the chance to do.

Queer at the Quad

 

This was a terrible weekend to go outside in NYC, as two separate storms would drench the city with inches of rain, and cause many streets to flood.  So, what would two intrepid movie goers do? Trek into NYC, of course, and visit the Quad Cinema to see "Little Richard - I am Everything."

- - - - - -

Little Richard (a.k.a. Richard Penniman) was one of the Rock & Roll greats, but one who never was able to profit from his music in the way he deserved.  As a member of the LGBT community, his hedonistic music, lifestyle and gender preference was forever at odds with his religious upbringing and the times in which he lived.  No, I am not going to recite Little Richard's life story here.  Instead, I simply want to acknowledge his ability to make being Queer less frightening to the "Rock & Roll Generation" coming to age as Richard was in his prime.

How would I have felt if I were in my prime at the same time as Little Richard? Given that I was deep in my closet, I would have been appalled by his presentation but in love with his music.  I guess that many people of his era felt the same way about the man and his music, and let him be because of those mixed feelings. If people knew how hedonistic he was when "Rock and Rolling", I think he would have drawn more hatred in an era already being threatened by the freedom that Rock & Roll could bring. So, I'm glad that he was able to survive the era, and pass on a legacy for the rest of us.

RQS and I came out of the theater with a newfound appreciation for this man, his music, his life and his accomplishments. Hopefully, my readers will take the opportunity to see this film when it plays near them, as it will be a pleasant eye-opener for those unfamiliar with his music.

A day where only one thing went right

 

I had only two things on the docket for today: (1) Lunch with my friend from the Census, and (2) going to NYC to see an Off-Broadway play.  Only the first thing went off as planned.

- - - - - -

My friend reminded me of our lunch date early in the week, and I would have forgotten it if she had not reminded me.  So I was glad to see her again for lunch at the local pizzeria.  For the most part, my friend dominated the conversation. We caught up on many of the things going on in each others' lives. And we finished at the right time - just before we would have stayed too long.

After lunch, I decided to stop by the local LGBT center to say hi to a couple of the "permanent" employees there.  Unfortunately, they were busy in a meeting.  So I waved hello, and left as quickly as I got there.  And then it was off to Lane Bryant to browse the dresses they had in stock.  Again, things didn't go as planned - the one dress I was looking for was not stocked in the stores.  So I'll have to order it online, and return it if I don't like it.

At this point, it was time to go into NYC to see Welcome to Clown Town.  Though I made the commuter train on time, I lollygagged when dealing with the subway and dinner - and missed the play because I got the starting time wrong.  (Luckily, RQS and I will be going to see the play on Sunday afternoon.) So, it was back home as quickly as I came into NYC.  For the most part, I could have gone home after lunch and done something productive.  But, I took it all in stride - sometimes, fortune gets in the way of life, and all one can do is avoid the worst of things that could happen.

Drag Queen Bingo!

 

It's been a long time since I've been to a meetup with this group, so I decided to attend a gathering at a bar where Drag Queen Bingo was going on.  I guess I'm confident enough in my presentation that I wouldn't been seen as anything but a lady (albeit transgender) when in the presence of a man exaggerating feminine mannerisms and styles.

Drag is an art.  And, as such, should be protected by the US Constitution.  Unfortunately, anything that is "Gender Variant" is being attacked in GOP states.  Attacking transgenders is easy for them to consider, as many of us simply wish to be left alone to live our lives and do not yet have the critical mass of defenders to repel these attacks.

Many transgender children are at risk because of laws being passed in the GOP states.  Their religious leaders are preaching messages of hatred, giving their parishioners permission to unleash their hatred at these defenseless children.  Many parents are both taking these children to other states for gender related treatment, and are moving their families so that their children will not become victims of the cultural war.

As much as I would have liked to visit my cisgender female friends from Texas in their home town, I could not assume I could safely take the risk.  Texas has passed a law requiring that people wear "gender appropriate" clothing - and as a pre-op/non-op transgender person, I could get into serious trouble.  So, we're meeting up in Chicago instead.

But back to Drag Queen Bingo....

In a way, it takes balls for a man to go on stage and present as a female.  The art of drag has been with us for ages, and is quite entertaining because it pokes fun at gender roles.  It subverts those roles while allowing us to examine what is real, and what is not.  As such, it is fun to watch when it is done well.  

In the long term, I will try to defend those drag queens - especially when they are reading stories to children at the local library.  Children are not afraid or offended of what drag queens are.  Why should the rest of us be so?

Thank god for people who confirm lunches and dinners!

 

One of the problems with being retired is that one day can flow into the next, and one can lose track of time.  That often happens to me.  I'm grateful to have a girlfriend, someone who resets my internal calendar by her presence in my life.  But I am also grateful for my other friends who contact me the day before we get together, insuring that I remember our getting together in time to get ready for our lunches and dinners.

I now understand how my father became a large couch potato.  Without friends to visit and things to keep him busy, all he could do is spend time and become ever more lethargic.  The same signs are present in me as well, as I do not get out and about unless I have people to be with.  Maybe, this is why I gravitate towards planning future vacations.  My body knows it needs things to look forward to, and a bucket list vacation is a great way to keep one's mind active - even if just planning things to do on that vacation.

Today, SJM texted me to remind me about tomorrow's lunch.  I had totally forgotten about it, but will squeeze it in - even though I have to drive to RQS later on in the day.  I'd have hated to leave her lurking in the lurch.  At my age, it takes a lot to build new friendships, and I don't want to lose any due to being lazy and forgetful.

Often, great deals are too good to last.

 

Woot.com is one of those sites that offers deals that are too good to last.  But it illustrates why one should be able to spot a good deal when it is available and pounce on it if it fits your needs.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I have learned that really good deals do not last long. For example, near the end of 2021, I found a great deal on a cruise from NYC to the Bahamas and back. It was one of the first cruises to take place after the Covid-19 Suspension, and had a price that could not be beat.  There was no single supplement, and I snagged a mini-suite for $1,400.  How could I beat that?

Now that I am comfortable going out in the world as Marian, I will occasionally buy a "Mystery Box" from Universal Standard.  It is like buying a pig in a poke, as you never know what you're going to get until you get it.  There are some items I am comfortable wearing, and others that I don't have the occasion to wear.  On the whole, I have broken even on my mystery purchases from Universal Standard, and will consider buying more mystery boxes in the future.

Years ago, I was hunting for a dress I could wear to a wedding and found a dress that looked good on me. I found it listed on Roamans.com for $140.  The same dress found be found on Amazon.com for $120.  But, on another onestopcom's site, it sold for $50 as long as you purchased a total of garments whose price totaled $75 or more.  That was a great deal on a dress which I've only had the occasion to wear only once.   

Bargain hunting can be fun, as well as addictive.  Now that I'm retired, it pays for me to search for bargains, but not always jump on them.  Luckily, I have the option to buy (or not buy).  And I'm glad I can enjoy bargain shopping to its fullest.

Someone mentioned an opportunity to me.

 

The other day, I got an email from someone at a place I once volunteered.  She asked me about some work that needed to be done at this place, mentioning that this may be a part-time position in the making.  I was pleasantly surprised about this, as I've needed an excuse to get moving each day and to get out of the house.  Assuming I'm the person who fills this slot, I will go to work as Marian - even though key people will know that I am trans.  It'll be nice to have regular interactions with people again.  If I'm lucky, I'll get the part-time position and put some extra cash in my wallet.

Looking back over the past few years, I've noticed that I have fewer reasons to get up in the morning. than I had 10 years ago.  Yes, I was at the end of a 30 year career with the bank I once worked for.  But I had already checked out due to the lack of opportunities left for me in the New York office.  When I was laid off, it was a blessing to me, as it freed me to explore being out as Marian much more often than I could have been in the past.

Getting through the pandemic with my sanity (or, at least, most of it) intact was a lucky thing.  Having lost both my best friend and a girlfriend, and then my father took a toll on me.  I was lucky to have a short term job at the Census Bureau, and then the document imaging firm the year afterwards.  Yet, towards the end, I was having problems getting up when I had no social commitments for the day. Do I miss that friend and the ex-girlfriend?  A little.  But I miss my father most of all. In many ways, the years of the pandemic sapped much out of me that has yet to return.

I have no problems getting up when RQS is around.  Having someone in my life energizes me, and gives me a reason to get up and moving.  Is this normal for an older person?  Many males tend to die within 3 years of retirement.  So, could my TG identity be a factor in keeping me alive?  Or, is it a good romance?  Who knows?  But I know that the idea of having both a solid romance and a part time job may be factors in keeping me alive for another 2 or 3 decades.

When I have nothing much to do, I window shop online

 

First things first.  I am not a thin woman.  But this linen dress caught my eye in this color and in a hunter green - and I wish I could budget the money to buy it.  I know that if I go to Universal Standard, I'd buy this dress and more.

Since Universal Standard is having a sample sale at this time, I'm thinking of buying the above garment. For me, it will mostly be used as sleepwear.  I could also use it as a slip in cooler weather, as it might help me stay warmer while wearing dresses.

- - - - - -

Shopping as a female is an art.  As I've said before, shopping as a male is very easy.  I don't have to think much, once I have a formula to work with.  It is much more difficult to shop as a female, as most women, cis or trans, don't always have the imagination to select garments that would be perfect for more than one occasion.  An example of this would be assembling a set of garments to be worn during the day at work, and that could transition easily for a date night/  Not only does a woman's outerwear have to coordinate well, but her underwear has similar requirements.  The other day, a woman made a comment to me about the type of underwear she had just bought - just in case she gets "lucky."  Even at her age, she realizes that the right underwear can contribute to the image she is presenting at the right time to someone special.

When I first started wearing female clothing, I avoided underwire bras at almost all costs.  But I learned that a well fitting bra can make all the difference in a woman's appearance.  Now, I wear underwire bras more often than not, as they give better support to my prosthetic breasts than the no-wire bras, helping me to look better in my dresses.  The same goes for panties as well.  It's both a matter of comfort and coverage - especially when a pre-op/non-op trans-woman has to "tuck."  

Once I have my underwear on, then I have to think carefully about what I wear that the world will see.  And this is where window shopping comes in.  One has to take a critical eye, and look at what parts of a woman's body is highlighted by a garment, and what parts of a woman's body are minimized.  Usually, I try to wear sleeved tops without a deep "V" in front.  This way, my male shoulders aren't exaggerated, and my lack of natural cleavage is hidden.  Ideally I can find garments that give me the illusion of having a feminine waist, but this isn't easy to do. And, I try to wear low hemmed tops, so that any hint of my male equipment is hidden.  This makes it easier for me to find bottoms I wan wear and still present a reasonably feminine image to the world.

I am lucky to have the funds with which I can make purchasing mistakes.  But if I didn't, I'd be spending even more time learning about female clothing and how it can be adapted to a body which has processed way too much testosterone over the years.

 

Seeing TCL for Dinner

 

If I had had my choice today, I would have gussied myself up before seeing TCL for dinner.  But today was the second drab day of the weekend, and I felt that TCL would be happier if I met her as Mario.

- - - - - -

Like yesterday, I didn't do much until I had to get moving.  But I did get to TCL's place on time for a change.  And this was for the best, as the restaurant we went to was empty when we got there, but packed when we left.  

TCL lives in a nice little town in New Jersey, her house being less than 1,000 feet away from the local railroad station.  If the railroad wasn't there, we could have walked to the restaurant.  Instead, we had to drive 1/2 mile to reach the place.  (This is not a problem for us.)   On the way there, she mentioned the purchase of an undergarment to be worn in case she might get "lucky".  (This is something you'd say to a good friend, and she made sure I knew that it was for a "someone else" if he came along.)  I already knew that she had no intentions towards me, and I let her know that, so she could feel more comfortable after saying that.

A minute later, I parked the car at the restaurant. As expected, the place was empty, and we were seated at a nice table, where we proceeded to have a nice Italian meal with some red wine. (The place is BYOB, so TCL has taken care of the wine when we go to this restaurant.)  By the time we left, the place was packed with at least a dozen people waiting by the door. And then, it was the short drive home. 

We chatted in the car for about 45 minutes, and then she had to go in and I had to go home.  I was amazed that she didn't make a comment on my newly pierced ears.  But then, she was focused on something else - how to tell someone something without making that person feel awkward.  I gave her some ideas on how to approach discussing the topic with her friend, and hope she refines them into something she finds she can use for herself.

Seeing FH for a seafood dinner

 

It's been a while since FH and I got together, Part of me was ambivalent about seeing her, as we do not have too much in common.  But then, I think my ambivalence was related to once dating FH.  Today's post has almost nothing to do with me being transgender, save that I showed FH pictures of me in Marian mode while in Hawaii.

- - - - - -

When I have nothing to do, I relax as much as possible, and relax I did. By the time I was ready to drive to FH's place, it was 4 pm, and I still had to gas up the car, then get cash for the week before proceeding to FH's place.  As much as I tried to avoid some traffic jams, I still took longer than expected to get to Forest Hills.  Once FH got in the car, it was like old times.  No, I don't mean that things went smoothly.  Instead, I mean that it was obvious why I could never have a serious romantic relationship with her, and why she could only be the type of friend I could meet for an occasional dinner once in a blue moon.

We arrived at the restaurant a little bit early, and sat down for dinner as soon as we arrived.  Yes, it was a little bit of sticker shock for FH, but I wanted her to make sure that whenever we get together that it is "dutch treat". She wanted an adult drink, while I could have settled for something a child would drink. Yet, she didn't know what she wanted to drink, and had the waiter suggest a drink.  Too bad that she didn't like it - she had to flag down our waiter to get a different drink.  As for me, I have several go-to adult drinks that I will order, and I decided to have one with dinner.

After waiting a while (and eating the bread, carrots, and celery that was in front of us), dinner came - and we both were filled to the gills. And then it was time for us to go home.  By the time I dropped FH off, I realized how much I missed RQS and wished that she were here with me. 

A Salt & Battery

A Salt & Battery.  If you want a place with almost no atmosphere that serves authentic British style fish and chips, this is the place to go!  It's a hole in the wall place next to its sister restaurant, Tea & Sympathy, which makes some of the best fried seafood in NYC.  Mind you, there may be only 4 seats in this place, so get there early!

- - - - - -

But first....

I had made plans with one of my TG friends (let's call her SRB) to meet for dinner.  SRB and I have gone out to eat before, and she drives in from her job from the hinterlands of Brooklyn.  Today, she had a hard time getting to the restaurant because of rush hour traffic. But she started to relax when we finally got together.

SRB asked me a personal question regarding my relationship with RQS. And I answered her questions, noting what I was able to give up in my path to femininity to have a romantic relationship.  She said I was lucky, as her ex couldn't deal with it. Then, she told me of a fruitless job search, and I noted that our age and TG status could have gotten in the way of things.  (I'm not going to get into details here, as SRB deserves some privacy.)  All too soon, it was time to leave the restaurant, as others wanted the 2 seats we occupied.  So, off we went to find a Starbucks, or another place where we could sit down with a cup of coffee.  Too bad that the local Starbucks closed an hour earlier than the times posted at the store.

After walking a couple of miles, it was time to part.  I made it to Grand Central with just enough time to take a bio-break and get some iced tea from the Starbucks at Grand Central.  Once I made it to my car, I had a quick chat with RQS before going to Wegmans for some grocery shopping.

As I said in another post - one busy day out of several before I get a chance to have a day solely to myself....

This was going to be a busy weekend

 

The old fashioned calendar. If my generation had one or two things scheduled for the day, we'd write them inside one of the boxes that corresponded to the date of the event(s).  If we had a lot of things scheduled for the day, we'd have a daily schedule book with hourly lines in which we'd enter our appointments.  Right now, I have things scheduled for every day that RQS will be away, and I wish I had made more time for myself.

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Thursday was reserved for seeing one of my TG friends for dinner.  She's more of an acquaintance, but someone I enjoy seeing now and then.  If it's possible, RQS and I may attend this woman's party next week. The way things look, this could be the only opportunity I have to present myself as Marian this week, as I'll have to be out as Mario on Friday and Saturday.

Friday was reserved for seeing FH for dinner.  It has been months since I've seen her, and it will be interesting catching up on things.  Part of me is hesitant to do so, even though RQS is aware of this.  No, nothing will come of it, but I think my ambivalence is that FH is not a person with whom I want to have too close a friendship.

Saturday was reserved for seeing TCL.  It's been a long while since we've been together, and I'm not in the mood to skip seeing her again.  With this being said, friends from Yonkers game nights will be going to a comedy club at the same time - and I will miss being with them.

Sunday is a day that I'll have mostly to myself.  Assuming I wake up early enough, I'll be attending church as Marian.  Afterwards, I may go into NYC to see an off-Broadway play.called: "Welcome to Clown Town."  The following citation from the play's website made me interested in going to see this performance:

A solo performance that dives into the bizarre and cantankerous mind of Pixie the Clown. Part birthday party, part therapy session, this live show shares the real-life tales of being a party entertainer in America.

Picture this: the audience rolls into a seemly delightful birthday party filled with bright colors and balloons. The sounds of children laughing with glee are heard as Pixie rolls onto center stage. With her sweet smile beaming, she pops a balloon with a hint of murderous rage: "Awwww, may it rest in pieces". This begins the rock 'n' roll ride through outlandish personal stories of working as a party clown in NYC and Hollywood.

Join Pixie/me in our NSFW immersive experience, as I spit stories (like the time I was run down by gang members) while playing fun party games that consenting audience members can participate in!

This mad-capped adventure blends oral storytelling about a Latina just trying to make ends meet with Pixie the Clown's irascible inner monologues about how to change the world.

The phrase "AWWWW, may it rest in pieces." was what caught my interest. And with my unusual sense of humor, I planned to go to the last performance of this show.  Since I'll have gone to church as Marian, I'll be taking the train into Manhattan as Marian as well.  It'll be nice to start the week off right!

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By the time you read this, everything on the schedule will have already passed.  I'll write more about the weekend as things progress....

What difference a decade makes!

 

I have been traveling as Marian for about a decade and much has changed in my life.  For example, the woman who took this photo is no longer my friend.  My long term career in computing ended, I survived a couple of breakups, and a few people close to me passed away.  But the one thing I have gained is confidence. In this decade, I feel much more confident in my ability to blend in as a female. Often, people don't notice much, save for my size, when they meet me - until I let my guard down.  Over time, I have become more comfortable in telling people that I am transgender, and will do so if someone asks.

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However, I am not completely happy with my current situation.  Recently, I got my ears pierced so that I could wear a greater selection of earrings  But this may not be enough for me.  I have made a promise to RQS that I will keep - no significant body modifications while we are in a relationship.  I will trade progress on my path towards living as a female for the love of a caring woman.

But what can I do that this woman could accept?

Right now, I'm thinking of either getting hair transplants to deal with my male pattern alopecia. Maybe some partial facial feminization surgery after that. And then, I'd want to get my name changed so that my official id would have a picture of me with an androgynous hair style.  This way, people who need to do a casual inspection of my id wouldn't notice much if I were dressed as a male or female.  The big issue is what to do with my chest.  Do I want to deal with having breasts and risk a relationship?  If I were to go to that next step, I'd get "permission" from a partner, as she'd have to live with me and my new "rack".  This and more would be subjects for thought as I get older.

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This path of feminization has been a long one, and I wonder what the next decade will bring me....

 

I live in New York, and will only sail out of one of its three regional cruise terminals.

 

The Manhattan Cruise Terminal.  On my own, it's the only cruise terminal in the New York City region that I will choose to cruise from.  But this is for practical reasons.

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I live in NYC's Northern Suburbs.  If I want to take a cab from my town to the Manhattan Cruise Terminal, I'd be charged at least $150 before tips.  Travel to the cruise terminals in Bayonne, NJ (a.k.a. Cape Liberty, NJ) or Brooklyn, NY costs even more due to distance, time and tolls.  If I were to drive to any of these terminals, I might be charged a minimum of $30-$40/day to park there.  Since I like to take 7-11 day cruises, I refuse to pay $210-$330/$280-$440 just to park my car.  For that amount of money (and a little more), I could fly to an out of town cruise port and enjoy a cruise from there.  But I digress.

None of the NYC area cruise terminals are easy to reach via mass transit.  Although I have used a NYC bus to take me from Grand Central Terminal to the Hudson River along 42nd street, I prefer to spend $20 for a crosstown cab for this 1.5 mile trip.  Travel to Bayonne and Brooklyn terminals is much more awkward from Manhattan.  To reach the Bayonne terminal, one would need a cab for part of the trip. One could take mass transit to reach Bayonne, (NYC Subway to PATH Trains, then transfer to Hudson Bergen Light Rail to reach Bayonne) and then, one would still need a cab for the last 2-3 miles of the trip.  Reaching the Brooklyn terminal is an easier task.  One could take the NYC subway to a station near the cruise terminal, and then walk about a mile through an industrial area to reach the terminal. I'd simply take the subway to the Long Island Rail Road's Atlantic Terminal (Barclay Center arena) and catch a cab from there.

 

New York City has a robust ferry system which evolved to service real estate development in New Jersey and in some waterfront areas of Brooklyn and Queens. However, none of these routes serve either Bayonne or Brooklyn cruise terminals. Sadly, none of the cruise lines have been willing to cut deals with the ferry operator (or NY Water Taxi) to provide cruise-day service from Manhattan to the Bayonne and Brooklyn cruise terminals. (Even the weekend service to IKEA in Brooklyn could be adapted to service the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal without much problem.)  I feel that this would be a net benefit for all parties concerned, as the cost of ferry service from Manhattan would be much cheaper than the equivalent cab fares or parking charges.  Considering that NY Waterways already provides service to nearby docks, why not provide cruise day service using existing facilities and equipment to the cruise terminals?

So, what does this all mean for me?

I have cruised on 3 lines: NCL, Princess and Holland America.  Of these lines, only 2 make home ports in the New York area.  NCL has gotten most of my cruise business, as they sail out of the Manhattan Cruise Terminal.  Both times I've sailed on Princess from the New York area, someone has had to transport me to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.  Any ship sailing out of Manhattan is easy for me to cruise on.  Ships sailing out of Brooklyn are awkward to get to.  That means I will not likely sail on MSC or Princess that often.  And it means that I will likely never sail Royal Caribbean (RCCL) out of Bayonne. 

Until I see a cheaper and easier way to reach the Brooklyn or Bayonne cruise terminals, I will not bother to cruise from them without a good excuse.  Although I can see RQS and I cruising out of Brooklyn due to its accessibility from her house, I believe we will continue to take our NYC cruises from Manhattan for now.

 

 

 

PS: I recently found that there is a ferry from the Wall Street area that will take me close enough to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.  However, I hate the idea of humping bags through the IRT (New York's "Numbered" Lines) subway stations, then walking a few blocks to the ferry. I will try a dry run long before I take a cruise from Brooklyn.

Another Board Meeting - a short post

 

Sometimes, I feel that the Marx Brothers made more sense than what I have to deal with in my co-op's board meetings.  But then, I often feel this way after a co-op board meeting.  I wish I would write about what transpired at the meeting in this forum - but I can't.  What I can say is that we worked well together, and we are all on harmonic wavelengths with business and the challenges in front of us.

Why am I talking about a meeting when I can't talk about what happened inside of it?  Well, the answer is simple.  Not all condo or co-op boards have overcome the challenges our board has tackled.  Some have it much easier than we do, as they have shareholders who take an active interest in running the co-op.  Others have major challenges in front of them, such as the HOA's for the Florida shore front condos that need major structural repairs due to years of moist ocean air putting properties at risk of structural failure.  My co-op is somewhere in-between, and we have accomplished a lot in the time since I joined the board.

As I see it, the biggest risk to co-op boards and HOA's is apathy.  The second biggest risk is bad (or corrupt) management, either by the board or a management company.  One thing I know is that I intend to be on the board of whatever future residence I live in.