I skipped going into the city today

 

When the day began, I was thinking of going into NYC and seeing a matinee performance of an off-Broadway play.  However, I didn't buy my ticket on time, and decided to stay in Westchester for the day.

- - - - - -

Considering that I didn't get out of the house until after 12:00 pm, I knew that trying to see another matinee would be pushing  the limits.  So, I decided to go for lunch at a diner in White Plains.  While there, there was a couple of women chatting away in Spanish, while the son sat quietly at the table.  By the time I was done, I wanted to tell the mother that her son was well behaved - but it wouldn't have been received as I'd meant it.  So I erred on the side of caution, and left the diner to visit my acquaintances at the LGBT Center

Having been to the LGBT center many times, I knew a way into the parking lot that allows me to avoid the building entrance for a pre-school on the other side.  When I entered the building, I met one of my old acquaintances, and we caught up on things while he was setting up for a meeting.  He introduced me to a few new people, and I left shortly afterwards, as the meeting was about to start.

My next stop was my home, where I decided to nap for a while before going to a trivia night meetup in Peekskill.  As much as I wasn't in the mood to go, I decided not to bail on the meetup.  And I enjoyed myself, in spite of not having the chance to chat much.

In short, it was a nice day out as Mario, and one of the last I'll have before my cruise as Mario....

Bored, not Board

 

For the most part, I wasn't in the mood to do much of anything today.  Although I got up at a reasonable time, it took a while before I got moving.  And when I did, I realized that I had to start packing for my cruise.  So, it was off to unload the laundry basket that has been sitting in my living room, and putting both underwear and socks into compression bags, then into my suitcase.  Yes, I could have done more packing, I figured that it would be best for me to simply develop a checklist, so that I can be sure to include what I'll need for my 7-day cruise.

4 pm came around, and I decided to get Chinese takeout (a big mistake) before the evening's co-op board meeting. I returned home, finished my meal, and then turned on the computer for a 6 pm Zoom meeting.  And this is where today's tedium came in.  We have a new member on the board who chooses to regurgitate what is being said, wasting time in the meeting.  (Sometimes, it's better to listen and not expect to pick up on everything going on in a business meeting.)  It felt that he was playing up to a teacher.  And then, he was trying to rescue a relationship without knowing why things were in trouble in the first place.  (As I said, sometimes it's best to just listen.)  I know that he was triggering some feelings, and I think it's that he wants to preserve a business relationship that we already feel may need to be broken. But enough of that....

While the meeting was going on, I was keeping my mind active by doing other things on my cellphone.  I've always had problems with long business meetings, as they are where minutes are taken and hours are lost.  As a result, I try to keep my mind active doing other things, and half-listen to what is going on when others are speaking. And today was no exception - even though I was the person taking minutes.  At least, I won't have to do this again until next month.

It was a long weekend, and yet it seemed so short.

 

RQS came up here on Friday and left on Monday morning. The longer we spend time together, the harder it becomes for us to leave each other at the end of the weekend.  Soon, RQS and I will be packing for a cruise to Bermuda.  It'll be our first time there, and it'll be a chance to spend time together, away from our normal activities.  

It seems like the remainder of this year will be a busy one for us.  After our cruise, RQS will be going to see her sister, while I'll be cruising to the Bahamas.  We don't know how we'll be spending Christmas and New Year's Eve.  But I expect that we'll keep being busy well into the new year.  For example, I'm looking for an excuse to take a trip to the West Coast, so that I can visit my uncle in his nursing home.  When I was there earlier in the year, he wasn't up to seeing visitors.  This time, I am looking at taking a short 3-4 day cruise out of LA, seeing my uncle either on the day before or after the cruise.

I'm not too keen on visiting Los Angeles.  It's not the easiest city to get around without a car, and I am taking a risk that my uncle may not want to see me if I decide to visit.  Yet, he's in his 90's and doesn't have many years left to live.  So, I'm hoping I can visit and see him for one last time soon....

I'll have returned from my cruise when you read this.

Although I wish I could go on a Hawaii cruise again this year, it is not to be.  The prices are right, and I could have booked airfare at a reasonable price.  (Un)fortunately, RQS and had  booked a Bermuda cruise for this time of year, and I had booked another cruise for two weeks after that.

As I write this, I am about to take a Bermuda cruise with RQS, and have started preparing for our trip.  Unlike previous cruises, we are going to the cruise terminal from my place, and we both think it will be an easier trip than taking an Uber from the middle of Queens.  This will be our first time in Bermuda, and I am looking forward to the experience.  Sadly, I will be traveling as Mario, and not my authentic self.

- - - - - -

Last night, I exchanged a set of messages with someone I've known for years, but am no longer close to.  We caught up with what was going on with our families, and chatted about what our plans were for Thanksgiving.  (I'll be eating my holiday meal on the ship, while she will be with family.)  What was of interest was that FCP was also in contact with her lately.  Rather than say too much, I noted what FCP had to say to me a few weeks ago, and that I didn't encourage or discourage future communication.

Later in the evening, I discussed this with RQS, and noted that I had a similar conversation with Vicki the night before.  Vicki has stronger feelings than I do about what happened several years ago, and feels that I have grown in ways I never could have grown had these people stayed an active part of my life. And in this regard I agree with her.

- - - - - -

When I cruise alone, I usually get a chance to reset what is going on in my mind and relax.  When I cruise with someone else, this process is broken.  I still relax, but my thoughts are not reset.  Yet, I am comfortable with this.  Having someone to share an experience with is important. And I'm glad that RQS will be with me on the cruise this time....

A very brief political interlude

 

I often don't pay much attention to political races not concerning my state.  But this article caught my eye a few days after the recent election - Danica Roem was just elected to the first transgender state senator in the South.

Danica first caught my attention when she ran for office and bested her GOP opponent, someone who deliberately misgendered her at every chance.  Obviously, this bigoted waste of a human did not win, as her district saw through his bigoted message and saw Danica as someone who could deliver for them.  After 2 terms in Virginia's lower house, she has now been elected to Virginia's upper chamber.

Will anti-Transgender propaganda hurt Danica?  Maybe.  But she's a tough woman, and believes that her duty is to serve the people first, and ignore the meaningless noises from the RED peanut gallery.  Hopefully, she will go on to the national stage soon, as I think she knows how to win against prejudice....

Congratulations Danica!!!!

Dinner with Vicki - Alone

 

Tonight was the second night of the Hudson Valley Restaurant week dinner promotion, where a group of restaurants would serve fixed price dinners to show off what these restaurants can do (and get future customers as a result).  This time, the HVRW choice did not disappoint us, and I made a joke about it to one of the bus boys.  

But first....

It took the better part of an afternoon, but they finally figured out why my TPMS idiot light kept turning on.  To put it short, after resetting the car's diagnostic history, everything worked well, and the light hasn't come on since.  However, this got in the way of me getting my nails done for dinner tonight with Vicki, as I had to stay in male presentation for the better part of the day.  

Around 5 pm, I changed into a blue striped dress on which that Vicki later would pay me a compliment. Once ready for dinner, I drove over to Vicki's, and a few minutes later, we were at the Char steakhouse in Mahopac, NY.  (I knew the area well from my many trips to see FCP.  But I digress.)  It took us a while to find a parking spot, but we got lucky - the lot was overflowing when we arrived, and I snagged a spot as someone was coming out.  Since it was only a short walk to the front door, I could have left my wool coat in the car, but I decided to bring it inside with me.

I will start off by mentioning the one bad thing I could think about in regard to this restaurant. Instead of entering directly into the restaurant area where a host(ess) would greet us, then have someone show us to our table, we had to walk through the bar area, and then across part of the dining area to meet our hostess. (I don't think this is a normal setup for the restaurant, as I think they wanted to gain an extra few tables for use during HVRW.)  Once we checked in with the hostess, we were promptly seated and served both bread and water.  (Our menus also came at that time.)  A minute or two later, we placed our drink order, and took a few minutes to decide on what to have for dinner.  Vicki noticed a nice thing - within 60 seconds of my water glass being emptied, it was refilled without me having to ask for anything. Our waiter was very pleasant, and he treated me like the lady I was presenting myself as tonight. Service was efficient, friendly, polite, and professional.  Unlike our last HVRW, everything was top notch.  So, on our way out, Vicki took the time to pay a compliment to the waiter, letting him know that we appreciated his good service.

What can I say about the food?  The salads we had were delicious, as well as the strip steaks we ate (at a $6 up charge).  Although the cheesecake served was smaller than the average slice, its quality was up there with the steaks we just finished.  Would I go back there again?  Yes.  .But it will be when I have the money to spend on a good steak dinner.

On the way home, Vicki and talked of many things.  XGFJ came to mind, then FCP.  No, I won't go into the details of that part of the conversation here.  Let's just say that Vicki said that I've grown a lot in the past 4 years, and that RQS and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time for each other. In regard to RQS, Vicki mentioned that she has the best of both worlds in me, as she has Mario as a boyfriend, and Marian as a great gal pal. 

I went in for an Oil Change and got a whole lot more.

 

Today, I had an appointment to bring my car to Mavis for a simple tire rotation and oil change.  Unfortunately, my visit cost a bit more than expected, and will still need me to visit them again tomorrow....

- - - - - -

Around 2 pm, I drove over to Mavis, expecting that I would only need to have my oil changed and tires rotated.  Unfortunately, I know that when the service manager brings you into the service area to show you a couple of problems, that I will always end up spending much more than planned on the visit.  Today, I was shown a nail that punctured the tire without allowing air to leak.  (Thankfully, I had road hazard coverage to reduce what I paid for a tire replacement.) Then, he showed me a valve stem that needed to be replaced.  The problem was that it has a tire pressure monitor attached, so the whole thing would need replacement.  About $320 later, my car left Mavis, only to need a scheduled return visit.

Once I left Mavis, I decided to go to Trader Joe's to pick up some food.  While on the way, the TPMS  idiot light went on - when it should usually be turning itself off.  So I completed my shopping trip and drove home to take care of some business.  I was no longer in any mood to go out again, so I called Mavis and explained the situation - and was told to come back tomorrow.

Later on, before I went out for the evening, I found out that one valve stem had a hard to remove stem cover (it was made of metal instead of plastic).  So I removed it with the help of a pair of pliers (hoping it's OK), and tested my tires' air pressure.  I think that they over inflated ALL of my tires.  So this is something I'll mention when I go back to Mavis.

If I'm right, the mechanic working on my car got a little bit sloppy and lost track of what he was doing.  If so, we'll find out tomorrow morning.  Now to change into Marian mode and spend the evening with some friends....

 

 

PS: The next day, I had to bring the car back twice.  Mavis said the left rear tire was a little low on air, and this stopped the TPMS light from turning on again for 20 minutes.  As soon as it came back on, I immediately returned to Mavis, where they did a complete reset of the TPMS system, and took the car out for a test drive. Hopefully, the problem has been resolved for the last time.

I went to the hospital today and came out with an appointment

 

I had some GI Tract issues a fewweeks ago, and I had to visit the hospital for a triage appointment to determine how soon I could schedule a procedure.  Today was that appointment.

My alarms were set to wake me up at 8 am, so that I could get myself ready to go to the hospital for a 10:30 am appointment.  (I was supposed to be there at least 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork.)  When I started filling out paperwork, I noticed something I haven't seen before - not only were they showing respect to the LGBTIQ community by asking both legal and preferred names, but doing the same for biological and identified gender related questions.  Although I went to my appointment as Mario, I could have gone as Marian without any problems.  This was a very pleasant surprise.  If I didn't have another appointment later in the day which required Mario's presence, I might have wished that I knew about this policy in advance, so that I could have presented myself as I want to be seen.

15-20 minutes after I arrived, I met with the nurse practitioner who would be examining me.  I talked about my symptoms, and she told me what likely happened.  Instead of repeating a procedure done in my doctor's office, she took my description of what was done as truth, and then told me that I was about 5 years overdue for the procedure,  So it was off to the front desk to schedule my procedure, then go on my merry way.

As I left the hospital, I made 2 calls: to Vicki, so that I have transportation to/from the hospital on the day of the procedure, and to RQS, so she knew what was going on.  I guess that I'm going to be living a busy life for a while....

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

(I'm taking the day off today to enjoy the holiday.)

The days are counting down until my next trip

 

Soon, RQS and I will be on another cruise.  It'll be a short 7-day trip to Bermuda and back.  It's my first time in Bermuda, and I'm looking forward to the experience.

- - - - - -

During the reopening of post-covid travel, one of my pen pals took a pair of back to back cruises from New York to Bermuda, and loved them.  Now, it's our turn to travel there. And we're still trying to figure out what we'll do when we get there.

One of the places I want to see are the Crystal Caves.  Given the length of time we'll be in Bermuda, we plan to take public transit to reach the caves, as we've been told that the bus/ferry system is very safe and convenient.  The only catch is that public transit ends around 5 pm.  So, this led us to plan on staying near the Royal Naval Dockyard on our last day there, as we won't have to worry about getting back to the ship on time. And on our second day, we might explore their capital, Hamilton.

Although we will be on a big ship (not the one pictured above), there's a part of me that hopes that I can get RQS on a smaller ship next time, so that she can experience the more personal service offered on this class of ship.  The way things are going, it might be when I decide to go to Hawaii again.  And then, it will be as Marian, and not as Mario.

Tapas

As I understand things, Spanish style Tapas are supposed to look like the dishes above.  Last night, we went to a restaurant that claimed to serve tapas, but served (what at best) could be called American style appetizers) - and we enjoyed the meal.

But first....

This was not going to be a day out as Marian, as I had to carry a couple of heavy donation bags to my car to be dropped off at Green Drop and didn't leave myself much time to do so.  Once I took care of this effort (which wasn't too much of an effort at all), we went back home to take care of laundry before going out again.

NoMa Social is a Tapas restaurant located in a hotel with the same name.  It's in the old Radisson space in New Rochelle, NY, and primarily serves the people staying at the hotel.  In a bid to gain more local business, they partnered with Groupon.com to sell 50% off coupons that could be used for meals.  Since our coupon would expire soon (given our busy November/December schedule), we decided to use it now.  (My doctor would scold me, if he knew how many rich meals I'd be eating in a two week period. But I digress....)  So, it was off to New Rochelle, where we found NoMa with the help from Google Maps.

The restaurant part of the hotel is located to the side of the hotel's entrance.  It is bright, minimalist in appearance, where the bar is the center of attention.  Most of the place is a contrast of white and black, with animated deep sea images being projected on the full width and height of the wall.  We were told to sit down where we pleased, and our waitress arrived shortly afterwards.  We ordered the special for $68, which included a pitcher of sangria, with five dishes of our choice.  We chose the following dishes: Crispy Pork Belly, Fried Chicken Dumplings, Tacos (Shrimp, Chorizo, and Beef), Calamari, and Buffalo Wings.  Although none of these dishes were out of this world tasty, they were filling and left us with a feeling that we will return again if we're in the neighborhood.

Why did I feel like talking about a restaurant today, instead of talking more about my bi-gendered life?

Well, the answer is that most of us TG people live mundane lives.  Being TG is not the focus of our lives.  But most importantly, Restaurant Six (that RQS, Vicki and I went to the other night) didn't even have the courtesy to even apologize after receiving a harsh (but polite) complaint email. (See yesterday's post for more info.)  I simply wanted talk about having pleasure eating out for a change, and had the opportunity to do so.

We had high expectations of a restaurant, and they failed us.

 

Hudson Valley Restaurant Week came, and we decided to have an elegant dinner at Restaurant Six.  Years ago, Vicki was married here (in the restaurant's prior incarnation), and it would be our first time back in its new incarnation.  Sadly, we were less than underwhelmed by the experience, and I found that I had to write a complaint letter before I could get to sleep.

But first....

As usual, RQS and I relaxed throughout the day until the bug took us, and we started to clean up my closet, making room for homeless accessories I own.  Several pairs of shoes found their way to a donation bag, and I gained a better organized closet.  And then we started to get ready for dinner.  

Around 5:15 pm, we left my apartment and drove to Vicki's house.  She was surprised that I was there on time (I am usually a few minutes late), and we were off to the restaurant.  I had allocated much more time than needed to reach the restaurant, as I planned to avoid taking the Taconic parkway (the most direct way) to the restaurant for safety purposes.  (I don't like driving on the stretch of road in Putnam county, as people drive at high speed on a road that has no shoulders, and has steep inclines on a curving roadbed.)  However, I decided to drive this road, as the sun was still out, and we arrived at the restaurant about an hour early.  So, we killed time by driving around for 30 minutes, and went back to the restaurant hoping to be seated early - which we were.

Instead of  repeating what I said in my complaint letter, I have to say that I wished we went somewhere else to eat, and Vicki could see that by how my conversation style differed from my usual style.  Eventually, we left the place, and I drove home on the side roads I planned to take on the way up to the restaurant.  We dropped Vicki off, and then returned home.  And that's when I decided to write my complaint letter.

Hopefully, they will fix things after reading this email.....

To the management of Restaurant Six:

This weekend, my group had the experience of dining at your establishment.  We had high expectations of your restaurant based on its reputation. Arriving early, we were seated quickly without having to wait. Although we were impressed with the ambiance and the quality of the food, we were very disappointed for the following reasons:

1. Service was very slow.
2. No napkins were on the table.  None of your staff noticed this even after bread and water were delivered to the table, and we had to ask for napkins .
3. The time lapse between the serving of the appetizers and the delivery of our main courses was over 40 minutes.  After we finished our appetizers, no one cleaned up the dirty dishes on our table until one of our party asked about what happened to our main courses - and only then were the dirty dishes taken away.  Shortly after the table was cleaned, the main courses magically appeared.
4. There was a noticeable lull in service compared to what was being received by other tables in the room.  
5. At one point during the meal, we had an interaction with one of the wait staff, and he commented: "This is my first and last day working at this place."
6. When my dessert was delivered to the table, it was not delivered with the spoon needed to consume it.  I had to ask for this.
7. No one asked whether we would want coffee or tea at the end of the meal.
8. The service was inconsistent at best.  At the beginning, the wait staff engaged readily in conversation, describing the dishes with enthusiasm.  Then, they disappeared and dropped the ball. After we asked about our main course, and it was delivered, no one bothered to apologize for the delay.

As much as I would love to come back because of the ambiance and the food, I am soured on the idea of returning due to the spotty service your staff provided.  My dining partners share the same opinion, and were very disappointed because there are many fine dining establishments in the Hudson Valley, and we expected to add this place to our list.

For auld acquaintance be forgot....

 

In a way, this post is a birthday card to a former friend, and commentary on peaceful communications that have taken place over the past few months.....

- - - - - -

I have mentioned my former cruise partner in many a post, and wish we had found a way to bridge the gulf between us. Sadly, this did not happen.  A few months ago, she wrote me an email to say that she was glad that I have a solid relationship with RQS.  In the past week or so, she wrote me in regard to weight loss.  No, I don't think it's an attempt to rekindle a friendship.  To do that, she'd have to send me an email and suggest getting together over coffee (or something similar). But I do appreciate the communication, and wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday today, as I know that she reads this blog now and then.

There are friends of mine that I haven't seen in years.  One of which was the best man at my wedding. What I found interesting was that before he encamped to Florida a decade ago, he gifted me a top of the line, fully loaded iPad which I still use today.  Yet, he makes no effort to initiate contact with me.  Until recently, I didn't even have a phone number for him.  Still, I miss him very much.

Other friends are the types who are transitional in nature.  One of these friends (JS) was a woman who was very needy and destroyed her security for the sake of her children.  She had virtually no home equity when I met her, and she didn't have a good plan for her retirement.  Before she encamped to Florida, she had taken a job as a principal of a girl's school in Coney Island while living in Ridgefield, CT.  It was an unsustainable commute for her, and one which was destroying her health and her car's life.  Even her (then) financial advisor had to "read her the riot act" to get this woman's attention, and still, she didn't listen.  She now lives in Florida, is caught up in the MAGA cult, and is oblivious to reality.  I mention her, simply because she was a catalyst for trouble, and whoever tried to help her ended up having to abandon her because of her self destructive actions.

It is much harder to develop closeness as one gets older.  And I have lost several close friends over the years, friends I once could call on (when needed) for favors.  Some of my current friends will do these favors for me (such as driving me to/from a colonoscopy, etc.), but only if it works with their schedules.  It's not the same as when I was married, and could count on my wife to be there for me.  (I still miss her after 27 years.) But I've made do, by searching for a new love and finding one in RQS.  It's just a damned shame that she can't drive.  Yet, nobody's perfect.

As I get older, the more I realize that real wealth is the quality of friendships that one has.  And I am very grateful for the ones who are in my life....

Sometimes, you find stuff you weren't looking for.

 

It's been a little under 27 years since my late wife passed, and things related to her life still pop up now and then.  Today, I stumbled across some items related to her life and our life that I didn't expect to see. First came baby pictures of my wife in a small book related to her early life.  Then, I found our wedding certificate near the book.  It doesn't mean much, save that it is a reminder that she was an important part of my life.

Soon, it will be the 27th anniversary of my wife's death.  I was very lucky to have had her in my life when I did, and I cherish the memories of that time.  Yes, she did know that I liked wearing women's clothes (I didn't know what being transgender was) and accepted this on all but our wedding night.  But I'll always wonder, that had she survived, would she have accepted me for who and what I am?

While cleaning up the apartment, I also found something I wasn't looking for - some costume jewelry that I liked to wear, that usually hung on the knobs of a dresser near my computer desk. When the electricians were here in August, I had to move the dressers, so that they would be able to get at the electrical outlets behind them.  So, I put everything into a bag, and stuffed it into the mess sitting on a chest near the foot of my bed.

At this point, cleanup was a big "might as well" task, and I started to empty out one of my dresser drawers, so that I had a place to stash some of the mess on top of my desk. And I realized that I could start another donation bag for charity.  There were 6 sweaters in that drawer, and 3 of them went into the donation bag.  Now, I had a place where I could put my leggings, so that I knew where they were.

In the end, I still had a mess, but I was making progress towards getting this place in shape....

Catching up with friends (Or, at least one of them)

The above is an old picture of me with a meetup group that no longer exists.  Although I made some friends due to being in this group, by the time Covid-19 hit, we had all gone our separate ways.  Yet, the pandemic resulted in me developing new friendships, with whom I was in contact today....

- - - - - -

My first task of the day was to get shaved, showered, made up, and dressed to see my friend SJM formerly of the imaging firm.  Setting a meeting time for 12:30 pm worked out well for both of us, as we both got to the restaurant on time. The two of us had a lot to talk about, and SJM noted that I had just as much chaos going on in my life as she had in hers.  I covered the headaches in regard to my GI Tract, the loss of my backpack and wallet, along with the struggles I had to deal with along the way.  Other than to say that she was very happy to talk about her husband's improving health, I won't say much about what she said to me.

After lunch, I returned hope, and opened up two boxes I received from Amazon.  One contained a replacement backpack and a selfie stick, while the other contained a Bluetooth mouse and some USB-C cables.  Setting up the mouse with the Chromebook was a breeze, and it was worth $10 to both free up the USB-A port on the Chromebook and to never need to worry about having a battery handy to use the mouse.

- - - - - -

Evening was coming and I had a Zoom meeting scheduled with RQS, STX, and JTX.  (This was the only reason that I didn't take off my makeup or breast forms when I got home earlier.) So, I set an Alexa alarm to alert me to be ready for the Zoom, and proceeded to take a short nap.  Two hours later, I checked my computer and my Texas friends had both bailed out for the night, as they were too tired.  So, I rescheduled things and had a face to face with RQS over Zoom.

Hopefully, we'll get to have a good Zoom in two weeks....

Often, being Transgender is very mundane.

 

There are many trans people who get lost in the pink fog, and rush into things needlessly.  Yes, they have new found freedom in being able to express their authentic selves.  But they often forget that the real world usually doesn't care whether a person is trans or not.  As a result, many things slip while a trans person explores her/his new place in the world.  Eventually, the trans person and reality have to get back in sync with each other, and the mundane things in life take over.  This is not a bad thing.  A successful transition will enable one to experience the mundane as one's authentic self.

As my loyal readers will note, many of the entries I've posted in this blog are not those where going out in the world is a novel experience, as they were in my previous blog.  Instead, my current entries are those which deal with the issues I face in life - either as a male or female.  Many of them have unusual twists, such as my travels while presenting as a female and carrying male ID.  Yet, I try to say things that might be of interest to the trans person just coming out.  It takes a lot of courage for many trans people to out themselves.  And for many, they are unable to be completely out because of their real life commitments.  For example, one trans woman I know is a doctor whose wife accepts her presenting as a female, as long as she doesn't go 24x7. (There are issues with both her career and her family that get in the way of being out to the world.)  Another trans woman I know outed herself, and lost contact with many in her family. Trans people often lose family, friends and careers in order to be their authentic selves, so I encourage trans people considering outing themselves to think things through and be careful when they do so.

At my stage of being trans, I exist in a happy medium.  Since I am not very gender dysphoric, I can live in either gender as needed.  But I must revert to being Marian for my sanity.  I am comfortable staying at this point in the transition process for romance, unlike many trans folk. And in this way, I am lucky, as I have someone who accepts me for who and what I am now.  Others are not so lucky.  Recently, I found out that one trans woman I know reverted to her male identity for romance,  and has recently returned to a female identity.  (Did romance influence either or both changes?)   

One thing I wish I could change more effectively is my voice - it is still picked up as being male on the phone.  And this is something that many M2F trans people have to deal with.  A trans acquaintance of mine had surgery to raise the pitch of her voice. But she is still perceived as a male over the phone, as her speech patterns still have a masculine imprint.  It takes a lot of work to develop female vocal mannerisms, but it doesn't get in the way for most of us in our lives.

So now, we end up dealing with the mundane.  I still have to pay my bills throughout the month.  I still have doctors' appointments for our ailments (as I will have a week from today for a GI Tract issue).  And I still need to take care of the everyday tasks of life, such as laundry.  Most of the time, a trans person's life will be mundane, as other than our gender dysphoria, we are living everyday lives.  Even when something "exciting" happens (such as having a wallet stolen in Chicago), I do what I would be doing as if I were simply a cisgender person, and am treated the same as if I were just a cisgender person.  The only difference is that I have to be on the watch out for people who hate trans people because we don't fit into their view of the world.  And that's a small price I pay for being my authentic self.....     

A "Short" Weekend

 

It's been hard keeping my composure as of late.  Although I am slowly recovering from the theft of my wallet and the loss of my backpack (with old Chromebook and assorted supplies), I do not yet feel back to normal, due to GI-Tract issues I'll soon be seeing a doctor about.  (My internist told me to contact a specialist, and I'll be dealing with triage procedures next week.) So, with the exception of my health, most of the other issues are being managed to my satisfaction.

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On Friday, RQS came to Croton.  Our plans were to do some leaf peeping before the last of the leaves fell to the ground.  Unfortunately, most of the leaves were already on the ground when we started our Saturday excursion.  However, this wasn't so bad, as it was a day I could get out in the world as Marian and show RQS some of the vistas that can only be experienced in the Hudson Valley.

We started our trip by crossing the Hudson and taking side roads through Harriman State Park.  There were a lot of great views to be captured, but there were too many people following us for me to stop for her to take snapshots.  Once out of the park, we headed North towards Walden, where we made the mistake of pulling into a Dunkin Donuts, where the help totally ignored us for several minutes.  After a reasonable amount of time, I took RQS by the hand and exited the shop to get a snack at the hotdog/ice cream stand next door.  Going there for food was almost as bad as stopping at DD's, as we had reactions to food that tasted excessively greasy.  We will never stop there again.  At that point, I felt it was time to go home, and we crossed the Hudson to take in the views from Fahnstock State Park.  At least, this time, RQS could get some photos.  

Finally, we returned to Croton with a quick stop at the dam, where she got some nice pictures.  Although the park was supposed to close at 5:30 pm, there was no way they would be able to clear out all of the people there before the sun set.  It was too nice a day in October for anyone to rush home, as this would likely be the last nice day we'll get until Spring.

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Sunday came, and we did nothing all day.  So I won't talk much about that.  But I was supposed to receive 2 shipments from Amazon that never came.  They were delayed until Monday, and weren't delivered until RQS got home.  As I said, I'm still replacing things I lost when I misplaced my backpack at Croton-Harmon station.  Hopefully, though I doubt it, MNRR lost and found will have the backpack the next time I go into NYC by train.

Looking forward to traveling again.

 

Next year, RQS and I are planning on taking another "Bucket List" cruise, this time to the Norwegian fjords.  It'll be the last year that traditional cruise ships will be allowed into several of the fjords, so we decided to do it now and hold off on other cruises we may have taken first.

Right now, I have only 3 cruises planned, 2 of them fully paid for.  One of these cruises will have RQS and I spending 3 days in Bermuda, and the other will be an effective repeat of a cruise I took with XGFJ several years ago.  On the latter cruise, I'll be alone and presenting as a female.  Unfortunately, the one time I want to spend the money to have a portrait photo taken of me presenting as Marian, the cruise ship doesn't seem to have to have the portrait studio experience I want - something similar to what I experienced on Princess as Mario.

One of the things that excites me is the opportunity to travel and see new places.  Sometimes, I want to go back to places such as Alaska and Hawaii. And that brings me to the topic of last minute trip booking.  A while back, I started looking at last minute prices for the Hawaii cruise I took last year. And I could take the cruise portion of that trip for a very cheap price this year.  If you look at the pricing for the cruise above, you'll note that there is an important anomaly - the studio cabin is priced more than both an inside cabin and an ocean view cabin. For only $300 more than the studio cabin, the solo cruiser could cruise in a balcony cabin.  Add $1,000 for the airfare, and $500 for hotel stays,  and one could do this bucket list trip for about $3,000-$3,500, excluding shore excursions.

Although cruising is getting more expensive these days, it still can be a relative bargain.  One has to be willing to get into the nitty gritty and search for pricing anomalies like the one above.  But bucket list trips such as a Norway cruise are rarely discounted.  Hawaii prices will soon go back to normal, and I expect Alaska prices for good itineraries to be at a premium next year.  

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Not all of my travels will be by sea.  RQS and I are planning on doing another "Girls' Trip" with our friends from Texas.  Hopefully, they will be able to fit this trip into their schedules and budgets.  Shortly after our Chicago trip, I floated the idea of visiting San Francisco in the fall, given the low prices I've seen at a few hotels there this year. Some of the places I stayed in a decade ago are very reasonably priced, and I have found a few bargains that are accessible via mass transit.  We could fly into SFO, then take BART to Embarcadero, then take the Trolley (or bus) to a hotel at Fisherman's Wharf. This is a trip which deserves more time than we spent in Chicago, and may require the rental of a car for a day.

RQS and I may do another trip to Washington, DC, as well as a trip to Philadelphia and a trip to Boston. All of these cities are easily reached by Amtrak, and that helps keep our costs down.  Unfortunately, being in the Northeast poses another set of problems - it's harder for a frugal traveler to find bargains here. But if one avoids using a car and uses mass transit efficiently, one can make many a trip in this region affordable.  So don't be surprised to find me reporting on a spur of the moment trip soon....

Two items of note regarding Electric Vehicles

 

I saw the above vehicle today, as I went to the bank to clarify an issue I had with newly issued credit cards.  And it got me thinking about the future of these vehicles.

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For a long time, I've held that it is unlikely that we will meet the political deadline set by the governors of New York and California to end the sales of internal combustion vehicles.  But I'm not as sure as I once was due to the use of electric vehicles by two people in my circle of acquaintances. (Only one of these people drives a Tesla.  The other drives a Nissan Leaf.)  Although I could make a case for a Tesla being a person's only car, I can't say that yet for any other brand of electric vehicle.

Today, I saw an article noting that Toyota has developed a battery that could get 750 miles on a single charge AND be fully charged in 10 minutes.  Assuming that the cost of manufacturing these batteries could be brought down to a reasonable price point (even Toyota says this technology is not ready for prime time) and that the charging station infrastructure can be fully built out in 12 years, I feel that it might be possible to migrate to a fully electric transportation economy.  These, still, are two gigantic ifs!

The above vehicle is classified as a motorcycle by New York state law.  If you look at the steering control in the top picture, you'll see something resembling handlebars.  I wonder if the driver of this vehicle still has to wear a helmet.  I'm also concerned that entry doors (if any) on this vehicle are removable, and that climate control (both air conditioning and heat) does not exist for this vehicle.  

Years ago, I saw a internal combustion (ICE) commuter vehicle designed for a single driver, whose price point was set at $7,500.  In 2016, I was able to sit inside one of Elio Motors' ICE prototype vehicles. Unfortunately, Elio Motors' ICE product never made it to market - gas prices stayed cheap, and people were able to buy new and used ICE vehicles at a price point which took away the market for Elio's product  Today, Elio is looking to sell an electric vehicle for $15,000.  Elio realizes that any vehicle being sold in this market needs standard safety features found on current model cars, needs appropriate climate control for passenger comfort, as well as other features now found on current model cars.

Would I buy an electric vehicle designed to carry only two people?  I'm not sure any more.  I'd still want a ICE car for long distance travel.  But, if Toyota's technology proves to be practical and affordable in the near future, I'd consider an electric version of a 4-dor sedan.  Yet, if I had the ICE vehicle, I'd consider a 2-person electric commuter vehicle for short trips.  As you can see, electric powered vehicles are a growing share of the transportation market, and is creating confusion while the transition from ICE vehicles to Electric vehicles takes place.....

Poly = Many, Tics = Flesh Eating Insects

 

As I write this, the House of Representatives has just elected a new Speaker - an ultra conservative lunatic. Why do I call him a lunatic?  Anyone who opposes late term abortions to preserve the life of the mother has to be crazy.  His policies, such as a total late term abortion ban, if enacted, will put the lives of many cisgender women at risk.  Even though I am transgender, and never will directly have anything at risk with this policy, I have to fight for those that do - else, I will have no excuse to ask cisgender women for help when these lunatics attack us transgender people.

The previous speaker was elected after 15 votes.  Before the election was over, no actions could be taken by the house.  Due to an action from a radical from the far right, the first speaker was removed from his position, and it took 3 weeks for a new speaker to be elected.  Since they didn't change the rule which allowed the former speaker to be removed, I fully expect that we will see someone invoke it to remove this speaker when the current spending bill expires.  (Will we have a government shutdown or not?  A House without a speaker when the spending bill expires will be a disaster. But I don't put it past the far right....)

So, where am I going with this?

Right now, the "right" is busy fighting amongst its allies.  Moderate "conservatives" are being coerced to give their votes to the radicals. (Look at how Jim Jordan's allies allegedly gave death threats to people who didn't support him for examples of this coercion.)  My congressional representative voted for the current speaker of the house.  This cemented my resolution to be part of the bloc that (hopefully) votes him out next year.

Given that transgender people will continue to be a target of the far right, I expect that attacks against us will resume soon.  This means that we must continue our efforts to get more trans people into positions of power, so that we (and our allies) to check and balance the power of the lunatic right until sanity (hopefully) can be restored to the GOP.

Most of us are not ready to "out" ourselves and be targets for the lunatics on the right.  But we can vote for our allies.  So, it's time to register to vote, and participate in local politics when possible.  As they say, all politics are local.  That's where we can make our first stand against lunacy.   And I intend to do just that....