I understand why people feel overwhelmed these days

 

The above picture was taken at a meetup with a group who now has gatherings when I am not free to attend due to scheduling conflicts.  Trying to live life around other's schedules and needs gets exhausting for many, and it's easy to see how many people (like my brother) get overwhelmed by life.  And I got to thinking this morning about how retirement doesn't always free us from our responsibilities to others, and the sacrifices we make to fulfill those responsibilities.

In my case, I've had to make a trade-off - go to meetups, or have a relationship with RQS.  Which would you drop?  If you said RQS, I'd slap you from here to next Tuesday.  She's a keeper.  But this has me run the risk of not being able to travel while I'm able to do so, as her health seems to be on the wane.  Even with healthy eating, her body is betraying her.  Do you think I'd want to give up on travel if something more important would get in the way?

While we're on the subject of travel, most of my readers know that I have often traveled as a female who carries male id.  With the current administration in Washington, I'm not sure of how long I can do this.  All it takes is for some person wanting to impress his supervisors by excessive use of authority to hassle me, and everything could fall apart in my life.  I now have to think whether I should travel as a female for one upcoming cruise I plan to take.

Yet, my problems pale in comparison to others.  For example, my brother's car was totaled (through no negligence of his own - his car was stopped at a light when someone hit him), his job is both life draining and a time suck, his volunteer efforts take up time, he manages the family homestead that we rent out, and he returns to a home which is not a refuge for him. RQS has to manage two life threatening ailments that could both cripple her and cause her to have an early death.  Since both ailments run in both her blood lines, she is scared. And these are only two of the people close to me.  Many others have it much worse than this.

Turning on the TV or radio is no escape, as we are bombarded by the latest atrocities going on in the world.  The orange snowflake keeps trying to destroy the rule of law in the US, while his actions are destroying the security enjoyed by Americans that took generations to build up.  Yes, globalization without a good social safety net has resulted in a lot of broken lives.  But a return to a society where no social safety net exists would be even worse for us.  It's bad enough when one person loses a job.  But when entire states lose large percentages of their work forces due to social, environmental, and economic change, how can people cope?  It's hard to feed, clothe and house one's family if no jobs are available, much less even afford proper health care.  No wonder why many in the "Red States" live in fear of losing what little they have - they have always lived as serfs tied to the estates of nobility which never cared about their subjects.

 

If I were speaking to an audience of "Minorities" who complain about being victimized, I'd say 

Get over it!

This does not mean to ignore those things that drain your soul.  Instead, I want for people to conquer their problems and take control over what they can in their lives.  We can not control what life puts in our way.  But we can control how we react when we encounter these problems.  Yet, sometimes, taking charge may involve doing the unthinkable.  Years ago, the wife of a close friend was dying of the same type of cancer which claimed my wife's life.  When she could no longer swallow any food and was in constant untreatable pain, she had to make an impossible decision - do I choose life or do I choose death?  Many people would tell her to get doped up for the pain, and live the rest of her few remaining days in hospice without any quality of life.  Without children to care for and a husband who could live without her, she chose to end her life while it still had meaning for her.  (I was with her husband when this happened.)  I don't know if I could have done what she did.  But I hope I could do it, instead of wasting away in a hospital bed, burning money that I'd rather go to my heirs.

 

Please note that I first focused on the exception to my rule instead of the rule I apply to my life. I feel that it is my duty to try and conquer what problems life puts in front of me.  It's hard enough getting by these days.  And for my transgender friends who read this blog, I say: 

 Don't Give Up!  

This too shall pass.

Some people may have to bear a heavier load in life than others.  But you don't have to break under the pressure.  Try to set limits.  Ration your media consumption.  Avoid "Friends" who are "Debbie Downers".  Find people and places which recharge your batteries when you are around them.  Even if you can't limit your responsibility to a ailing relative or friend, you must find time to nurture yourself. Just keep looking for hope, and you shall find it.

 

 

I have my new bed!

 

Bed, n. - A platform on which to sleep, have sex, read books, or watch TV.  Which do you think I do most?  I'll give you a clue - I'm coming close to watching all 270 episodes of the original Perry Mason series.

Why do I start off with the definition of a bed?  Well, I had to get up early, so that I could shower and get dressed as Mario for the delivery.  However, I did all the shaving that I knew I'd need to do to switch into Marian mode after they left.  This meant that I was up and showered by 8 am, eating breakfast by 9, and resting on my sofa until noon.

Shortly after noon, I received a text saying that the deliverymen would be here in 15 minutes.  So I made myself presentable and walked downstairs to greet the men.  A few minutes later, they were removing my old mattress and bed spring, and assembling the adjustable base on which the new mattress would sit.  A few minutes later, they brought the new mattress in and made sure that everything was working before they left.

Now, I have the same bed and mattress as RQS.  I think that the people who delivered her bed rushed through the job, as they did not attach the "footer bracket" to the bed frame.  As a result, her mattress keeps sliding to the foot board of her bed.  (I might be able to take care of this issue when I visit her this weekend.) Luckily, I noticed that the bracket was properly attached to my bed frame, and I expect no future problems with my mattress.

- - - - - -

With the delivery being done,  I made a call to my doctor's office to arrange for next month's appointment, and then I rested a bit before changing into Marian mode to go to the movies with DS to see The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie.  But, before I would get to the movie theater, I decided to buy a new printer - I do not intend to spend twice the price for ink as I need to simply because HP is now software blocking the use of re-manufactured ink cartridges.  This meant that I'd be running down to Micro Center in Yonkers, and then going back Northeast to Mamaroneck.

It felt strange to use my credit card with Mario's name while presenting as Marian.  But I wanted the printer, and no one gives much of a damn about how I present.  Before getting on the road again, I tried to reach my tax lady - to no avail.  So, I figured that I'd check with RQS on how to reach the tax lady, and send an email later in the evening.

My next stop was at Costco, where I bought another pillow.  Now, I have 4 new pillows, and have a completely new bed, pillows and bed linens. Finally, I made it to Mamaroneck, finding a parking spot without problems.  Then, I bought my ticket and found DS inside a darkened theater. As much as I am a fan of the old Warner Brothers' cartoons, there is no way a modern film can have the charm of the old films.  Yet, I enjoyed spending 90 minutes to watch this piece of fluff. Hopefully, we can do this again.

On the way home, I called RQS.  Some of the tests her doctors have ordered have delivered bad news.  This may get in the way of travel, if she can't get things under control AND stop the progression of a genetic weakness.  AARGH!  I'll be there for her.  But I'd like to have more of the good times with her, before things change for the worse.

At least, RQS will be able to get a comfortable sleep in my apartment when she's here next.

April is no fool's joke this year!

 

Normally, I'd like to be pulling an April Fool's prank on my readers.  But this year, it's not a joking matter.  As I write this, the Orange Snowflake has openly stepped over the line, and attempted to take on powers not granted to his office by the constitution.  As of now, we are likely not a land where the rule of law checks and balances the power of a wanna-be authoritarian leader.

Why do I say this?

As I write this entry, the snowflake has claimed the power to revoke ALL of a prior president's pardons. The big question is: what will anyone be able to do about this?  He has already asserted that the right to protest against our government's policies is illegal for legally resident aliens, and may result in deportation.  Yes, I despise what this protester supports.  But he has a right to advocate for a cause if he is legally here.

The snowflake does not care about constitutional limits, as he has the same thirst for power that his authoritarian friends in Russia and North Korea have.  But has he noticed anything about their economies?  Neither is generating maximum wealth for the people or its leaders.  These regimes extract and consume wealth from an economy without generating enough new wealth to replace it.  These regimes will eventually self destruct.  Does the snowflake want to do that to America?

Do we have grounds for hope?

Strangely enough, we still have grounds for hope.  Although GOP leaders know that even MAGAs are against the extreme policies of this administration, they have not cracked under pressure.  But they will. They can't run away from their constituents forever, nor can they ignore the wishes of their big corporate donors.  Businesses do best during stable times, not when things are in flux.  Sadly, things are in a great state of flux today.

Hope can be found in ways to pressure the GOP leadership to change its tune.  Emails, written snail mail, and phone calls can be effective tools in getting one's voice heard.  One needs to know ALL email addresses, snail mail addresses, and phone numbers where one's complaints can be sent - and these people will eventually get the message.

The chilling thought for all authoritarian leaders is that the public can mount a successful revolt against tyranny.  There are more guns than people in America.  Most of these guns are in the "Red States".  And when MAGA people start seeing that the snowflake and GOP have betrayed them, watch out!  I expect that we run the risk of another "French Style" revolution which attacks the elite.  Hopefully, revolt will take place via the ballot box, and not with lead.  But as Fats Waller once said: "One never knows, do one."

Parting is such sweet sorrow

 

So many odds and ends for people to catch up on, and I'm in the middle of many of them.

Let me explain.... 

I've been there for RQS through 2 emergency room visits, and forced diet changes caused by her ailments.  This is not a problem for me, as I need to have less ultra-processed food in my diet.  However, it may crimp our style when we choose places to eat for our once (or more) per week nights out.  In many ways, this will be a good thing, as I will need to clean much of the crap out of my cupboard, replacing it with healthy foods.

Before leaving RQS today, we decided on a place where we will have her birthday dinner.  It's a nice restaurant where we've held two of our co-op board's yearly dinners.  Since it will be the first weekend of Hudson Valley Restaurant week, I figured that we could have a nice dinner for a little less than I'd normally pay for such a dinner.

When I got home, I texted my brother to ask him how the house is coming along.  Well, we may have to make some hard decisions, so that we can rent the place out as soon as possible.  It looks like my brother's car got totaled by some idiot kid driving recklessly on a side street while my brother was patiently waiting for a light.  Given his workload, etc. I wasn't going to push him for information for my taxes.  However, he said that he should have things ready soon.  And I made arrangements to help him with work on the house next weekend - something I hate doing, but needs to be done.

I wish I could have stayed with RQS another day, but I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.  If I make the time AND get my bedroom cleaned up enough to have my bed delivered on Tuesday, I may decide to go into the city and see an old movie, completely recut and reedited with never seen footage - Caligula: The Ultimate Cut.  Will this end up being the final version of this production?  I doubt it.  Although this version has much of Bob Guccione's porn removed, it is still a flawed film.  Yet, I'll bet that someone will rework the film into something better than the the 2 versions that currently exist for sale.

A complete unknown

 

 

Last night, RQS and I went into Manhattan to watch "A Complete Unknown", the story of the early days of Bob Dylan's career.  Would I recommend this film?  YES!  The performer who plays Dylan gave an Oscar worthy performance.  

 

But first....

 

On Friday, I drove to RQS's house.  The drive took longer than expected due to the heavy traffic on the roads.  Instead of getting there by 3 pm, as I planned, I got into her neighborhood at 5, and couldn't find a parking spot to save my life.  After 20 minutes of searching, I had to leave her neighborhood to find a Mickey D's for a bio break.  And it was there I had unusual GI-Tract problems.  (I won't go into any details here, save that I could have been extremely embarrassed had I not found a rest room.)  Once done with Mickey D's, I drove back to RQS's place where it took me 15 more minutes to find an available parking spot - literally around the corner from her house.  From there, it was a short walk to her apartment, and a chance to truly freshen up for the night.  

Saturday came, and my stomach was a bit iffy.  We took it easy during the day, and after a dinner of leftovers, left for the movies.  (I still wasn't sure about my stomach, but my GI-Tract was relatively empty.  So it was worth the risk of being on the subway for 45 minutes.)  We arrived at the theater around 7:30, and proceeded to buy our tickets, bottled waters, and a package of milk duds.  It's hard to believe that with senior pricing, we paid $16 for 2 movie tickets, and $10 for 2 bottles of water and our candy. And then, we went upstairs to the small theater.  (It's hard to believe that a night at the movies could be this cheap - especially in Manhattan!)

 

8:00 came, and the lights dimmed.  I knew the story about Dylan's transition from Acoustic Guitar based folk music to Electric Guitar based pop music, but the way the story was adapted kept me interested throughout the film.  RQS asked  me a few questions, and I noted that Dylan's girlfriend was named Stacy in the film, while she was named Suze in real life.  (I have a copy of Suze Rotolo's memoir, A Freewheelin' Time: A Memoir of Greenwich Village in the Sixties, about her time with the young Bob Dylan.) If you get the chance to watch this film, watch for the gaffe where they call the Stacy character Suze.  It's hard to believe how quickly time seemed to pass while watching the film.

 

Shortly after 10, we caught the train back to RQS's place for the night.  It may not have been the most exciting day, but it was a good one.

Cleaning out under my bed and an evening as Marian

 

By the time you read this, I will have my new bed delivered.  Now, I have to clean out the space under my mattress/bed spring, so that the adjusting mechanism for the new mattress can work unimpeded.  Starting this process opened up a lot of "might as wells" causing me to examine my feminine clothes closet for things I can give to charity. Although I know I will have my bedroom tidied up to some degree, it'll still be a semi-cluttered mess here. I figure that I'll complete the cleaning process on Monday afternoon, as I'll be spending the weekend at RQS's place. 

Around 4 pm, I started to get ready for dinner with Vicki.  We met at one of our go-to places and had a filling Japanese meal.  (The seafood soup for 2 is filling enough to be a complete dinner.)  In addition to the soup, we split a spicy tuna roll and a shrimp tempura main course.  Afterwards, I rushed down to Costco, so that I could get a second card with my Marian photo.  Although I got the card, I couldn't get it the way I wanted it - the first card associated with Mario and his image, and the second card associated with Marian and her image.  So I wonder what will happen if I go to Costco with Mario's card and Marian's image shows up.  We will find out soon....

On the way home, I tried to reach my brother.  But he wasn't answering his phone, nor could I leave him a message.  As much as I wanted to ask him about tax information, I deferred that question to ask about my grandmother's death certificate.  I'd like to finish the paperwork needed for dual citizenship and a second passport, and send it off before the end of the month.  Hopefully, I'll have the passport by the end of the year, so that I can get out of Dodge if the Orange Snowflake totally screws up this country.

A social day for Marian

 

This was a day where I knew I'd be spending the day as Marian.  So I made sure that I'd be wearing a comfortable dress when I went out for lunch (but not the dress above).  But I had one thing I wanted to do, but didn't for reasons I'll mention later.

My first appointment in my calendar was meeting with CCS, my friend from the census, for lunch. Since she exercises with a personal trainer on Wednesdays, we decided to have lunch after her session.  This meant that I'd be having a late lunch. The day's plan was to have me start moving around 11, and leave the house by 1:15 pm for lunch.  While I was getting dressed, I got a call from Vicki suggesting that we meet for lunch today.  So what did I do?  I scheduled dinner with Vicki for tomorrow, and had lunch with CCS today. 

I arrived at the Ossining pizzeria around 1:30, and found CCS already sitting in a booth.  Both of us ordered hearty meals with dessert, and I was stuffed by the end of our meal.  We caught each other up on the things happening in our lives, including RQS's visit to the ER, and CCS's family reunion during Passover in Atlantic City.  By 3:30, we were finishing lunch, and scheduled next month's get together before parting our ways.

Next, I was too tired to take care of one errand I had planned for the day - going to Costco and getting a membership card with Marian's image on it.  (I have one with Mario's face on it.)  So I went home, and went into a digesting sleep for a couple of hours.  

After I regained full consciousness, I prepared for a Zoom meeting with RQS and our Texas friends.  It was a good meeting, and everyone had something to say. At 9:45, I ended the meeting, and finally had a chance to rid my face of the makeup I was wearing for almost 10 hours....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I received an unexpected package today

 

The other day, I received notice from USPS Informed Delivery that I should expect a package that originated from New Rochelle, NY.  Who could be sending a package?  What was in the package?  Why was this package being sent?  So many questions, and absolutely no clues.

When the package arrived, I saw my name listed as Marian, and not as Mario.  So, it had to be from someone who knows me as Marian.  But the package was in one of these USPS Priority Mail envelopes, so I had little information available to me.  So, I opened the envelope and found some paperwork for my 2023 taxes.  Now I had my answer - Fran (the TG accountant who bailed on preparing my taxes due to health issues) was cleaning out her files, and sent me what I once gave her instead of shredding the paperwork. What could this mean?  Was Fran giving up on having me as a client, given last year's issues?  Who knows?  But I had no plans to work with Fran this year, as I didn't like how she handled RQS's taxes last year.   

RQS has already had her taxes done by the same lady who prepared my taxes last year.  As soon as my brother has prepared the financials for our property, I'll be making an appointment with this woman and driving to Queens to get my taxes done.  Unfortunately, this will likely force me to spend 2 days as Mario, as I don't want to introduce Marian so someone who has to deal with me as Mario.  This is the most frustrating part of being both Marian and Mario on a part time basis.

Dresses - I love to wear them, but I have way too many of them.

 

Ever since I was little, I was envious of the women in the movies, as they could wear long, flowing dresses and no one would think strangely of them.  My TV was capable of showing Black & White images, while most of the movies on TV then were Monochrome films.  The aspect ratio of both the TV and the images on film were 4x5, and that was good enough for me.

As I grew older, I never grew out of the wish to wear dresses as part of my everyday life, and take on a woman's role.  No, I did not fancy myself being with a man.  The subconscious image I had of myself was a large, but attractive woman - sort of the woman my wife was when I married her.  Although my wife knew of my interest in wearing women's clothes, the only time she said NO to it was on our wedding night.  Too bad she couldn't have seen me now.  But then, would I have crossed one bridge too far?

Over the past 10+ years, I have built up a large feminine wardrobe, most of the garments being dresses. Several times, I've gotten to the point where I have to prune the contents of my closet to make way for new garments.  And another round of pruning will be coming up soon.  My only question will be: which garments will I be pruning?

If you were to look at my closet, I probably have more dresses than I could wear in a month.  Couple this with the contents of my storage containers, and I could fill up another donation bag with clothes that will go to charity.  Although I do not like wearing trouser like garments, I still have those I wore to the imaging firm I worked at between 2022 and 2023.  Will I get rid of them (and the tops I wore with them)?  Probably not.  I still want to blend in with as many cisgender females as possible.  But I will cull the cheap stuff from my closet while I replace it with better quality clothing.

Unlike most transgender people, I have had the luxury of buying new garments and upgrading them over time.  I have also had enough room (and privacy) to store my female clothes without having to hide them away from a wife, family, or friends. And most of all, I have a girlfriend (I should say, partner) who has no problems with me presenting as Marian.

Now if only I could get her comfortable with me having breasts of my own....

It's been a long weekend, and I'm almost glad it's over

 

I'll bet that RQS was feeling like this on her way home today.  On Friday, she had lost her cell phone, and we drove to Queens on Saturday to retrieve it.  Most of the remaining weekend was spent resting, recharging ourselves for the week ahead.

But why do I mention this?

My brother had a busier weekend than I did.  My nephew lives on the west coast, and my brother went out there for a competition my nephew participated in.  As expected, my nephew did well, and is preparing for the next step in his competitive career.  This meant that my brother didn't have the time to take care of paperwork I needed, nor did he have the time to recharge his batteries after an over-full week at work.  There was no way I was going to pester my brother for paperwork with the stuff he has going on in his life.  Instead, I made sure to talk about my nephew for 20 minutes before asking any questions such as: Did my brother have the chance to find my grandmother's death certificate? Of course, he also had an answer for my unasked question.  And we then proceeded to talk about priorities for the rental property we jointly own.

- - - - - -

When RQS finally made it home, she found something in her mailbox - jury duty pay.  Someone had pilfered the original check sent to her, so she had to file a claim for the money owed to her.  Now, she can afford to treat me to a fine dinner at l'Arca del Oro. (That's Mickey D's, for those who don't get the reference.)  She's in a better place than she was a week ago.  And now, I gave her a much more pleasant task than the doctors did last week - choosing a restaurant to go to for Hudson Valley Restaurant Week (HVRW).

Running to Queens for a phone

 

RQS has been discombobulated this past week, all because of a medical issue.  And that has resulted in a sort of mental fog which has caused both forgetfulness and clumsiness which have been frustrating at least.  Yesterday was the culmination of a week where the brain fog cost us both time and money.... 

- - - - - -

Our plans for the day were to wake up at 6 am, so that we could get to RQS's neighborhood by 10 am.  This is where we were to pick up her phone at the store of a fellow who found it.  So, when the alarm woke me at 6, I fiddled around a little, and then prepared to go out for the day as Marian.  RQS followed suit, and by 8:15, we were out the door and headed for Queens.  Both of us were relatively silent, as we weren't fully awake yet.

Arriving in Queens, we had a minor disagreement (do not stress that word, it was a light difference of opinion) as to where we had to go.  Thankfully, we had Google Maps to guide us - the store we had to go to was on the other side of the subway station.  If we didn't follow directions, we'd have wasted a few minutes getting back to where we needed to go.  So I parked the car in front of the store, and RQS came back with her phone and all of her cards.

We had time to kill before lunch with friends.  So it was off to the bookstore to have some coffee and to buy a book or two.  On the way, we had to stop at an ATM and get some money.  Luckily, both the bank we needed and the bookstore were in the same neighborhood, and we didn't have to drive too far before being able to settle down with a cup of Joe.

Next, it was off to White Plains. We were lucky to get there when we did, as they were starting to reroute traffic for a St. Patty's Day celebration.  (Why they didn't wait until the next weekend befuddles me, as it would have been March 15th, and not March 8th.)  This eliminated the cheap 2-hour metered parking that we wanted, and forced us to use the "expensive" parking lot under the building the restaurant was housed in.  Once parked, we met our friends and had a great lunch.  I won't say too much about this couple, save that they are as ethnically mixed as RQS and I, and that we have similar feelings about the world.   

Finally, we were on our way home around 3:30.  After a quick drugstore visit, we were home for the night.  And even here, the fog still affected RQS, as she lost some stuff she'll need to replace tomorrow. Let's hope that the fog has completely lifted when she wakes up in the morning.

This is how my car puts on mileage

 

Lately, RQS has been dealing with a few health issues.  Several days ago, a specialist told her that she had to go to the emergency room as one of her tests came in at ridiculously high levels. She was discharged the same evening, with new scripts for new medicines.  Given this visit to the emergency room, she has not been her normal self - the feelings of helplessness and feeling ignored by the medical professionals came back and hit her hard.  

While in the ER, the doctors rescheduled an appointment to get her to another specialist 3 months earlier than originally scheduled.  During this visit, the doctor gave her advice on what she should be eating (for example, kill the carbs) and how much exercise she should be getting.  As an aside, the 2nd specialist suggested that she should find a replacement for specialist #1, as s/he didn't pay attention to her when she wanted to discuss how treatments for her first issue would interfere/intersect with treatments for the second issue.

As you can guess, RQS was not "all there" for the second half of the week.  So, when she came up to see me, she had a "comedy" of misfortunes occur.  First, her scarf got tangled in the wheel of her suitcase.  Thankfully, her Uber driver got it untangled and tossed everything in the trunk of the car.  As she was dropped off at the subway station, her cell phone fell out of her pocket.  Luckily, she had her ID, some money, and everything needed to come to Croton with her.  But she was totally out of sync with her normal self.  While RQS was on her way up, my ex-GF Patty told me that her sister's wake would be tonight.  If I were to have gone, I'd be dressing as Mario and driving to Fishkill to pay my respects.  This would have been an awkward introduction of Patty and RQS.  Luckily, I wasn't expected to pay my respects, as they were keeping everything small.  So, I dressed as Marian, and picked RQS up at the station.

There was no way I would take RQS straight to my place, as she was ravenously hungry.  So, it was off to the diner in Peekskill for dinner.  While there, she contacted Uber and sent in a request for help. Uber didn't respond quickly, so I thought of something after dinner - calling her phone to see if anyone had found it.  Someone did!  So we are meeting him at 10 am to pick the phone up and say thanks.  But this means that we have to get up at the crack of dawn to get showered and dressed, so that we could be in RQS's neighborhood around 9:30 am, and then mosey back to Westchester to see friends (with me in Marian mode) at 1 pm.

It took until 11 pm for RQS to fully relax (or, as much as she could under the circumstances).  Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, and I'm not looking forward to the drive....

Although I took it easy today, I had things to do.

 

A while back, I met this woman and scheduled a lunch together.  I had a weird feeling about her, as she was asking me a lot of questions that one usually doesn't ask in the early stages of a friendship.  Although we said we'd meet again, this never happened.  And I think that this was good luck for me, as something didn't feel right about her, making me glad that I had already frozen my credit report a few months beforehand.

Why do I mention this today?

I've been getting weird feelings about what is happening in this country.  Last night, I watched a clip from a senate hearing, where a Democratic senator asked one of the Orange Snowflake's loyalists: Given the President's actions in regard to Ukraine (as well as other actions), do you think the man holding that office is a Russian Asset?  Of course, the loyalist ducked answering the question.  In a way, we have our answer, and us transgender folk should be planning our lives accordingly, given Russia's feelings about the LGBTIQ community  My big question is - why aren't more people talking about this?

But onto other things....

This was a day where I didn't get out of bed until 11 am, and even then, didn't get moving until 1 pm.  So, I started to clean out some more stuff from behind the loveseat, and filled up a donation bag which can go to Green Drop on Saturday.  It's amazing how many garments I had stored that I no longer wear. So, out the door it goes.

And then, it was time to get showered and dressed to go to a meetup. I arrived at 6:30, and only 4 people had arrived.  By 6:45, we had a total of 10 people, including DS from the Yonkers gaming meetup.  When DS arrived, she mentioned that she couldn't deal with political talk, and for the most part, we didn't do so.  But then, someone made a mistake, and DS left quicker than a speeding bullet.  I mentioned to the ladies who were left that DS is very unhappy with her present job, and probably has to hear a lot of BS coming from her idiot boss about the orange snowflake.  We got quiet for a minute, as everyone realized what happened, and then we got to venting about the latest atrocity the snowflake has thought up.

Right now, I'm not so sure of what I should say to DS, as I want to apologize for not reading her correctly, and not steering others away from this topic.  It's a sick thing, what the snowflake is doing to this country, and I fear that things will get much worse before things get better....

I apologize for ranting too much

 

Lately, it seems to me, that I've been complaining about things going on in the world too much.  Yes, Our rights as transgender people are under attack, and our president is "owned" by Russia, and is doing Russia's bidding.  Yet, I am grateful to live in a state where I can come and go as my authentic self, without worry that I will be hassled by any law enforcement authority.

Yet, I've noticed something.  For reasons other than fear, I haven't been getting outside of my place enough and living an authentic life.  Could it be the weather?  (As I write this, it is raining outside.)  Could it be commitments I have that requires me to present as Mario?   (I had to go out as Mario in order to buy a new Mattress and Bed Frame last night.) Could it be anything else? (I did spend part of the day sorting out some of the containers behind my loveseat.) There have been so many things that I needed to do, that I have felt a little overwhelmed and have retreated into my comfort space.

One has to keep one's focus on what's important, so that can take care of the most important things first.  I may not have been doing that.  Yesterday, I worked around the house, possibly to avoid spending the money I knew I'd have to spend on new bedding.  It could be much worse.  My brother is putting in 50-60 hours each week in a job for which should only need 40. He also has to deal with fire department financials, managing the project of bringing the family homestead into a shape where we can raise the rent on the place, and to prepare financials for the house, so that I can get my taxes done.  And, to top it all off, he is flying out west to see my nephew for the weekend.

As you can see, there are other people who are under more stress than I am.  But I expect that we all will start to suffer if the orange snowflake does half the damage to America that he could be doing.  If you find yourself starting to be overwhelmed by fear and worry about the future, just remember these words that are applicable in almost every situation:

 

"This too, shall pass." 

 

The trick will be to keep one's perspective while it passes....

Stop the world! I want to get off.

 

It's hard to believe that our president started a war against everything America stands for.  The worst part of this is that we have a congress that's afraid to do its job.  As I write this entry, the Orange Snowflake has given his 5th SOTU Address - and it was as disgusting as expected.

Canada, Mexico, and China are victims of a trade war being started by the snowflake.  And this will result in higher prices paid for common goods by the American public. No one will win.  All this to either stroke the ego of a demented, malignant, senile narcissist, or to obey the orders coming from his Russian overlord.  Given what we know about the snowflake, it's likely that it's a little bit of both.

Years ago, the snowflake started his association with questionable business partners when he sold condominiums without caring who he sold them to.  This provided an opportunity for the Russian mob to launder money via real estate.  Although he may have been obeying all applicable laws at the time, it may have made him a "Useful Idiot" in the eyes of the Kremlin.  Over the years, he stopped building new structures, and simply made his money by licensing his name to these developments.

This man's record in Atlantic City showed how he could extract money out of failing businesses, as the banks felt that keeping his trademark name valuable was more in their best interests than shutting down his bankrupt casinos.  (How a casino could go bankrupt, I'll never know.  This is one of the rare businesses that have an effective license to print money.  Or, at least, coin money by issuing chips (known as "checks" in the trade) and selling them to customers to gamble at their tables.

By the time he was done with Atlantic City, he likely was owned by Russia and its mob.  Personal bankruptcy means nothing to this cast of characters - if you owe then, you'd better pay up by whatever means possible.  Given his stupidity and his greed, he was the perfect tool to be used to advance Russia's aims in the US.  And his being elected to the presidency twice gave Russia what it needed to destroy America from within.

Right now, I have to figure out how to insulate my 401k from the destruction t be caused by his trade war. I have to find an investment which is NOT dollar denominated, and will hold its value while the stock market tanks.  Bonds are likely not the answer, as soon we will likely start to experience severe inflation caused by the debt he'll need to issue.  

By the time you read this, I expect the public will almost be ready to riot.  Will it happen in "Blue States?"  No.  It'll happen in the "Red States" when people start realizing they've been duped.  It'll be interesting to see how the clowns in DC will try to keep things under control....

Neither of us wanted to brave the cold.

 

Senator John Blutarsky.  The fictional character had more to say for him than the excuse for a man running this country now.  The current president reeks of corruption, ineptitude, narcissism, and treason; while the future Senator Blutarsky dealt a blow to corruption at his college before moving on to politics. 

But why do I reference a great bit of comedic fiction in today's post?

This weekend, I picked RQS up at the station, had dinner out, and then spent the rest of the weekend (for the most part) relaxing inside.  Although we took a drive on Saturday to pick up ingredients to cook some French Onion Soup (with a slight variant or two from Julia Child's recipe), we stayed comfortably warm inside my apartment.

What does one do when one stays inside?  For the most part, it was watch TV and read books.  I've learned that I have to avoid over-watching the news as of late, as I'm getting sick each time I see President Musk and his lackey, Trump, destroy my nation from within.  I've read the outline of what they're doing in history books, and I don't like how the story ends up.  So, I've had to remind RQS that we need to watch more videos of people clearing up the mess around abandoned houses.  (We tend to enjoy videos from Midlife Stockman, as they tend to be the most relaxing.)  

Sunday came, and I could have gone to church.  I was conscious early enough to have done so.  Instead, I decided to drift back to sleep for another 3 hours.  By the time noon came, we had a decision to make.  Do we go outside in the cold, or do I make the warm, filling and tasty onion soup.  The soup won out, of course.  So, I sliced up 6 onions, then cooked them in my new Dutch Oven.  (I bought a cheap one, just for the onion soup.  If I like cooking with one, I may buy one of a better quality later on.)  Although I burnt some of the onions while cooking and scraped out the residue before continuing with the preparation, the soup came out OK.  This was the highlight of the weekend - something which allowed us to relax, and not fall prey to the fear the snowflake wants us to feel.

Why do I mention fear?

Supposedly, the snowflake has been intimidating GOP congressmen and senators with death threats.  (This was reported in a YouTube video, where one Democratic congressperson mentioned this to their constituents.)  If this is true, and I have no evidence of this, it's another step towards authoritarianism.  We have to counter this by first remembering FDR's great words (from another context): "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  By refusing to surrender any of our rights, and having others do the same, we can defeat this monster.  If not, we might as well remember the fictional Rick Blaine's dilemma in regard to the "Letters of Transit", and make appropriate choices.

I gor my first mystery box of the year

 

This picture does not do the contents of my latest Universal Standard Mystery Box justice. Hanging these dresses on cheap coat hangers, and not put on a body makes all of them look lifeless.  However, they feel great.  And one of them I had planned to purchase the next time that their dresses go on sale.

- - - - - -

I stumbled onto the Universal Standard brand a few years ago, and I found that their goods were of higher quality than I was finding in the plus size stores I was shopping in at the time.  Two of the three plus size stores are now gone, with their brands absorbed into the "Full Beauty" group.  This leaves me with only the Lane Bryant stores and various online merchants such as Ulla Popken where I've made my online purchases over the years.  Universal Standard is one of these online stores.

Before Covid, Universal Standard had one store in lower Manhattan.  After Covid, they had both trunk sales and on-premises sample sales, from which I have bought many garments.  But my favorite deals tended to be the Mystery Boxes, where one garment could be worth the price of the box.  In this case, all 3 dresses look like they will be keepers.

With this being said, I am hoping that they will resume sample sales in their new DUMBO location.  Yes, getting to DUMBO is much less convenient than getting to the southern part of midtown.  But it's worth it to be able to try on clothes and get steep discounts at the same time.

Thoughts about a friend and her husband

 

I had lunch with a friend the other day, and noticed that she may be a little divorced from an objective reality.  A society needs objective rules to function, even if it means that some actions automatically give the wrong person the benefit of the doubt in legal issues.

My friend has been married for over 25 years.  She has been with this man through thick and thin.  One of the trouble spots in their relationship was when he was stopped by a cop and charged with a DWI (Driving While Intoxicated).  This caused him to lose his license for 3 years, and for my friend to drive him to and from work, all while going to work herself.  At that time, she told me that she'd divorce him if he ever was stopped for DWI again.  (Most of their property is in her name alone.)  She wasn't going to judge him - if he was out drinking and needed a ride, she'd pick him up - no questions asked.

Normally, when someone gets his/her license back and that person stays clean, there is no problem.  Things go back to a new normal, and the person has learned from his/her error.  (Or, that's the way things aught to be.)  Yet, there are some lingering consequences to a DWI that most Americans don't bump into until they travel to foreign lands....

Cruising has become my main way of recharging my batteries.  This friend would love to go on an Alaskan cruise with her husband.  But there is one problem - his DWI.  Canada considers a DWI to be a felony, and will not (in general) let Americans even travel through their country if they have a DWI. So, how does this affect my friend and her husband?  As I mentioned to her, her husband would have to apply for an exemption in advance of cruising through Canada,  For most people, this would not be a problem.  They recognize that laws are laws, and each nation has a right to set its own standards for how people are expected to behave and who is admitted to that country or not. . 

Most people consider that DWI and DUI (Driving Under the Influence) standards have to be objectively applied.  If a person drives while over the blood alcohol limit, he/she is considered to cause an accident if one occurs.  (The accident would not have occurred had the DWI driver not been on the road.)  My friend objects to this, as she claims that her husband drives safely - even after a few drinks. 

Unfortunately, my friend will not be able to take the Alaskan cruise that she and her husband would like to go on.  He would refuse to apply for an exemption to be able to travel through Canada.  She supports him, as she believes that the objective standard noted above shouldn't apply to someone like her husband.  Sadly, their pride gets in the way of reality - sometimes, one has to admit that one has been wrong, in order to overcome the penalties of doing wrong.

Attending a meetup

 

It's been years since I belonged to this meetup group.  The woman who sponsored it had gotten divorced, closed her restaurant, and moved out of state. However, I try to maintain membership in some meetup groups which have mid-week get togethers.

 

This past Thursday, I was able to attend a meetup with a group whose meetings are usually on weekends.  Like some of the meetups I've attended over the past year, this one was a trivia/dining get together at The Bayou in Mt. Vernon.  Prior to Covid, I would usually be at this restaurant several times each year.  But now, this was the first time I've been here since my former cruise partner and I had the spat that ended our friendship 5 1/2 years ago.

 

Parking in Mt. Vernon is always a headache.  Luckily, I was able to find a spot one block over from the restaurant. I was the first to arrive.  So, I killed time until another person came in and recognized me.  And then, we waited for the meetup's host to arrive.  The host arrived, and we got seated before the trivia contest started.  When asked for a name for our trivia team, one lady suggested the Bayou Babes.  It was nice to be considered one of the girls.

 

By 10 pm, trivia was over with, and I was on my way home.  I'm glad I didn't cancel this meeting.....

 

I got a call the other night about DCD

 

When I "sold" my old Honda Civic to DCD, I gave him a car in almost perfect repair.  A year or two ago, I replaced the car's exhaust system, and the car was running as quiet as when the car was first in my possession.  The other night, I found out how badly DCD is treating his car, and it made me sad.  He is not responsible enough to drive a car, much less own one.

NDC (as i called her in a prior post) called me right after I put a load of clothes in the dryer. She told me the story of how DCD screwed up the exhaust system on his car, making it sound like a convention of Harley Davidson motorcycles driving on the open road.  He lost his temper, sped through her complex, hitting a speed bump and making the exhaust system worthless.  But this wasn't all. He is now homeless and lives out of the car.  The other day, he ran out of gas, leaving his car in the middle of the street.  NDC lent him her charge card to buy a gas can and to fill his car.  But he dawdled enough, that she worried that he absconded both with the car and her charge card.  She was almost ready to call the police when he returned. NDC was livid.  DCD's car was still in the middle of the street a couple of hours after DCD called her for help.

DCD had medical appointments the following day, as part of making preparations for his upcoming cancer surgery and chemotherapy.  Without a car, he won't make it to those appointments. I expect that without the right help, he will die alone in his car - if he even gets to keep the car.  As for me, I don't want the car back when he dies - it will cost me more to fix it than it is worth.  At least, he and those around him will be out of their misery.