The seeds for today's cultural wars were sown almost 75 years ago.

 

Last night, I was having a conversation with Vicki and the topic of Jane Fonda came up.  Vicki will never forgive Jane for visiting Vietnam during the war, and I understand why she feels this way.  This is one area in which we disagree.  But we are usually closer in our views than one might think.  And this got me thinking: 

When did the first seeds for today's social polarization get sown?

One could say that some of the seeds were down when the 13 colonies separated from Great Britain, "Free State" vs. "Slave State".  But the United States was starting to address this issue shortly after WW2 ended, when the McCarthyism and the "Red Scare" started the dysfunction which has resulted in today's extreme political polarization.

The 1950's was an era where the cracks in the "American Ideal" started to show. The "Red Scare" triggered people to coerce pledges of loyalty from the populace.  This was an era where "Under God" was inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance, as a way to differentiate American values from the "Commies" in the USSR.  The Space Race started in the 1950's, and we were primed for the unrest of the 1960's.

Why is this so important?

The first of the "Baby Boomers" were starting to go to college around 1964.  There, they learned to question authority - something that simply wasn't done in the 1950's.  At this time, the Civil Rights Movement started to gain popular awareness, as well as the war in Vietnam.  Thousands of Americans were losing their lives in an unpopular war, and American youth questioned why we needed to fight this war.  This is the time when conservatives started saying "America, love it or leave it."  And many draft-age men did just that, moving to Canada as political exiles.  Liberals demanded equal rights for women and for minorities, threatening the forced political stability achieved in the 1950's.  So, when Jane Fonda visited Vietnam (which I consider a mistake of youth, and nothing more), it was an event which solidified the divide between Liberals and Conservatives in America.

Opportunist politicians such as Richard Nixon took advantage of the growing divide, making sure that tools being used to address segregation were de fanged, making it much harder to provide Blacks and Latinos equal opportunities in education.  Although Nixon is often given credit for ending the war in Vietnam, he was responsible for making it impossible for LBJ to get a peace treaty signed on his watch.  This was the time where the GOP started to "flip the south" from Blue to Red, while the Democrats were flipping northern GOP enclaves to Democratic strongholds.

America's great divide.

If one looks at a political map of the USA, one will see that most of the "Union" states from the Civil War are run by Democrats, and that the "Confederate" states are run by Republicans.  Most of the other states are controlled by Republicans, as they are rural and have fewer opportunities for people than the coastal (blue) states.  Opportunist politicians have demonized the opposition, and have made the Rural/Urban divide much worse than it used to be.  Since "conservatives" tend to desire order imposed by higher authorities, they get incensed when "liberals" focus on the rights of individuals.  

Social identity in the USA is often defined by the political party one is affiliated with.  In my case, a woman I dated called me a fascist when she found out that I am still a registered republican.  (I haven't voted for anyone in the GOP for years, as the party has become radicalized and I have moved towards the center.  In an earlier decade, I'd have been identified as a "Goldwater Republican."  Today, I would be labeled left of center.

So what can we do?

There will always be people who are seduced by the propaganda coming from one side or the other.  A thinking person has to keep one's sanity by challenging the messages being sent by a biased media.  Liberals should question MSNBC, while Conservatives should challenge Fox, Newsmax, OAN and other bastions of conservative misinformation.  When most people are polled about their beliefs, they are more centrist than one might think.  But, when political identity comes into play, people act against their own best interests.

When America works right, people are able to look out for their own selfish interests.  If tribal affiliation comes into play, people start marching to the drummers from their tribes - and everything starts breaking down.  So, I advise people to fact check both sides without paying any attention to their tribe's "opinion outlets" and then coming to a position of their own.  If they do this, they might find that their tribe's leaders are betraying them, and that they would be best served by voting the bastards out....

It's sometimes very hard to get in contact with people - a short post.

 

Recently, I've been trying to get in contact with several people, and have been mostly unsuccessful.  Why, you might ask?  In the case of my friend Pat (the ex-hypnotist), it could be one of several reasons.  First, she could have passed away.  (Given that she's around 80 years old, and that she's being treated for a chronic disease, this is a very likely option.)  Second, she is in a nursing home, and has been placed there for cognitive issues.  (Is she now unable to use her cell phone?)  Third, and most unlikely, she is no longer able to clear out her messages for some unknown reasons.  One day, I'll call up her nursing home and ask to have my call placed to her room.  That should get me some information - especially if something has happened to her.

Next, comes my friend LK.  She has two good excuses: One is a child with a genetic defect, and the other is a newborn child needing lots of care.  Unlike Pat, LK is young enough to be my daughter, and uses technology in a completely different way than I do.  If I catch her at the right time, things go along as if we were in the same room.  If not, it's crickets.  In short, I know my friendship is not a high priority for her, and accept it. 

There are others, and one of them is too busy to have a friendship with someone like me.  It's just as well, as we travel in different types of circles, and she's a workaholic.  Yet, I realize that people come into my life and leave it all the time, and accept it for what it is.  Do I miss some of these people?    Yes.  But others are better lost than found.  Yet, I wouldn't mind getting in touch with them again - if it were still possible....

Game Night and a lost earring - a short post

 

The other day, I ended up going to game night.  Since I wanted to wear jewelry, I decided to wear the earrings given to me by the couple who host game nights twice each month.  Well, I had a hard time getting the post into my ear, but thought I succeeded in doing it right.

Obviously, I did it wrong, as the post wasn't locked into the notch that keeps the earring in place.  So, when I was playing games, the earring fell out without me noticing it.  When I got home, I noticed it was missing, and thought about calling game night's hosts to see if they found the earring there.  I wasn't going to tell them that it was the second time I lost this earring.  Instead, I decided to order a replacement pair of earrings.

This morning, I got a text asking me about an earring they found.  And yes, it was mine!  So I didn't need to place an order.  However, Karma played its' game with me, as I lost (or didn't receive) the replacements I ordered from Amazon.  

At least, I'll have a set of earrings I care about....

The doctor wants to run another test on me - a short post

 

I went to the doctor today, and he saw signs that made him want to have a liver scan done on me.  I've put this off for a long while, and don't relish going in for a simple scan.  Why, you might ask?  Maybe, I'm hiding from reality.  And maybe, I simply don't care.  This is why I wish I had a good therapist I could trust with both my eating issues and my gender issues.

Years ago, I broke up with Patty, then Ex-GF-M because of eating issues.  Both were good people, but they were triggering my food addiction.  Since then, I've never been able to restore the drive I once had to lose weight and live a more healthy lifestyle.  I've simply become complacent.  And I'm paying the price for being complacent.

Hopefully, this will be a wake-up call in the nick of time, as I want to stay healthy enough to live a longer life than I expect to live, now that I have someone I really care about in my life.  But it will take major changes in my life to do so.  At least, there will be one major non-health related benefit - I will be able to buy a new wardrobe that fits me well and looks better on me.

Lunch with a friend & Zooming with Friends

Today, I had lunch with my friend, C, from the US Census, and had a monthly Zoom meeting with RQS and my Texas friends.  And I realized that monthly get togethers are the perfect time interval for each, as this gives us enough time to build up enough things we can talk about that happened in our lives.

But first....

Sooner or later, I will need to schedule an appointment with the sleep doctor.  I am falling asleep, but still feeling tired when I wake up - which is happening after a sleep of short duration.  I know that my CPAP is working, but there could be something else disturbing my sleep.  Also, I want to get a new CPAP machine prescription before the old one wears out.

Once I woke up, I got showered and dressed in one of the summery dresses I had in my closet.  (I decided not to take the tags off of either of my Universal Standard outfits, as I might end up returning one of them after RQS has a chance to see them on me.  But I digress.  I was very surprised to find that it was over 80 degrees outside, and that I didn't need to wear the denim jacket I had planned to wear.  So when I saw C,  she complimented me on what I was wearing.  Then, we caught up on all of the things that have gone on in or lives over the past month.

All too soon, we had to leave, and I stopped off at the apartment to put my leftovers in the refrigerator. The, it was up to Lane Bryant in Poughkeepsie to do some browsing through the racks.  Luckily, I didn't spend any more money on clothes I didn't need.  (I'll wait to find things other than dresses that both I can wear comfortably and that look good on me.)  On the way home, I stopped off at Aldi to see what the "cousin" of Trader Joe's was like and picked up a few things.  (See: Aldi History.)  Then, I went home for the night.

Once home, I rested a little before a Zoom meeting with RQS and my Texas friends.  Although I hope we can all get together again soon, I doubt this will happen as a foursome.  Instead, I think we have better odds if one or the other friend were to meet RQS and I in one of our travels.  We had a good chat, as usual, and around 10 pm, we bid each other farewell until next month.

Giving DCD his keys - A short post

 

I knew that if I were to go out today, it would be as Marian.  And the only thing on my docket was to meet DCD after work and give him the keys to his car.

- - - - - -

This morning, I woke up early.  So I made myself some breakfast, and went back to sleep for a while.  By the time I got up again, it was noon, and all I had the energy to do was to put folded laundry back into the drawers, and to hang some garments up in their appropriate closets.  When I finally was in the mood to get ready to meet DCD, it was 5:30 pm - and I put on one of the more comfortable dresses I have.

A problem I've been having lately is that one of my ear piercings wants to close up.  I may have to go back to the piercing studio and have the piercing redone.  But I'll wait until after I return from my Norway cruise to do this.  At least, I was able to push the pin through my earlobe without any pain, and wear some nice hoops.

I reached the diner where I was to meet DCD around 7:45 pm.  I figured that I'd get a seat and let him find me.  Well, he was a little bit late, so I made sure to hand him his keys before doing anything else.  Over dinner, we chatted about many things, but mostly his problems in dealing with confrontation.  He'll retreat from almost anything that makes him feel uncomfortable unless he has no escape.  So, tonight was not a night to prod him - I did more than that this past weekend.

DCD told me how he got the car off the car carrier, and into a parking space.  I wouldn't have known how to do this.  So, he must have part of a brain to work with.  This made me glad, as I feel that he didn't screw things up to get the car off the carrier.  What did bother me is that he didn't have enough cash to pay for his meal, and that I had to front him $10 for his share of the bill.

On the way to his mom's place, DCD started talking about his family (and his ex-family - he is divorced), and how everyone expected him to screw up.  He accused his ex-wife of sabotaging him towards the end of their marriage, and even to poison the relationship between him and his children. Later on, I discussed this with RQS, and we both agreed - DCD doesn't want to take responsibility for his mistakes in life, and that others' expectations were likely based on objective reality.

At least, there is one thing DCD and I agree on: Our former therapist would never have been able to deal with my gender issues, and that I was wise not to bring them up with him....

Catching up on things.

 

Catching up on things going on in my life....

1. This past weekend, RQS came up earlier than usual for a Friday.  Although Friday's schedule became open due to DCD's car financing issues (he didn't have enough money saved to register the car), the rest of the weekend's schedule would be affected due to DCD's problems in getting his car (my old Honda) out of my parking spaces.
   
   Although it rained most of Saturday, we had to stay around the house because DCD was supposed to come up with a car carrier and take the car away.  Sadly, he screwed that up, as he was supposed to have a friend come with him - and the friend's no-show prevented DCD from getting to U-Haul on time to get the car carrier.  We were a bit frustrated, as we could have spent the day at the movies, instead of watching reruns on TV.
   
   Sunday came, and DCD finally came up with the car carrier after work.  Although he was later than expected, we got the car running enough to get it on the car carrier, and finally out of the parking space where it dwelled for the past 5 weeks. However, he misplaced the car keys, and this proved to be a problem for him.
   
   DCD had lost the keys to the car, and was going to go to Honda to get new keys cut and programmed.  Luckily, on Monday, the car keys were found, and I arranged to give them to him tomorrow.  (DCD was a topic of conversation between RQS and I until I dropped her off at the train station Monday morning.)
   
   
2. I got in contact with my friend Vicki, and we were able to have an impromptu dinner on Monday.  Something happened to her that will have her thinking about her future and what she wants to do with it.  Since something like this happened to me a while back, I gave her the benefit of my experiences, and hope that she finds a way that is best for her in her forward path.
   
   
3. An appointment with my GP is coming up, and I am not looking forward to this visit, as I gained a few pounds on my last cruise.  (Normally, the increased physical activity on cruises causes me to lose weight.  But not this time.)  Part of me wants to postpone this visit, but this would likely be a mistake.
   
   
4. The two garments I expected from Universal Standard came on Saturday.  One of these outfits (a jumpsuit) looks good on me - especially if I'm wearing the right color bra and wearing my jean jacket over it.  The other garment, a sleeveless dress, doesn't look as good on me, and I'm thinking of returning it for credit.  Will I do so?  Who knows?  Maybe RQS can give me her opinion when she comes back here on the weekend.
   

Now, the car is gone - finally!

It took DCD long enough!  Today, he rented a U-Haul truck and a car carrier to remove his car from my parking spot.  And I screwed things up a little by not running the car engine over the past few months, letting the battery drain to the point where it wouldn't start the car.

DCD was supposed to get to my place by 5:00 pm.  However, he had problems with the truck he rented and had to exchange it for one with working Heat/Air Conditioning.  He got a little bit lost on the way to my place, but he made it here without incident.  And then the "fun" began.  DCD tried to start the car without luck.  I had seen the signs of this when my former cruise partner and I got stuck after a visit to NYC.  So I knew what was needed - jumper cables.  While I fetched starter cables, DCD drove the truck into the space next to my old car.  We got the car started without problem, and the engine started running well after a few minutes.  

Our next step was to get the car on the carrier hitched to the back of the truck, and we hesitated a bit because the rain had started up again.  DCD drove the car onto the carrier, and fastened it to the carrier before turning off the engine.  I then told him to separate the car keys, so that if one got lost, he'd be able to get back into the car, and this would be an issue later on.  Then, we took the better part of an hour to turn the truck (and car carrier) around.  Around 7:30 pm, we were done, and DCD was on his way.

Around 9:00 pm, I got a phone call from DCD.  He made it home, and would be storing the car at a friend's place.  But he made one mistake - he lost the keys,  Of course, it was an "I told you so" moment, and I made sure to do just that, as he always has to learn the hard way by making big mistakes.  At least, I am now done with the car, and it is completely his responsibility to take care of it.  

Before he left, I told him that he can start paying me for the car in July.  I'll bet that it will take him that long to get the car on the road again....

The car is gone. (Not!)

 

The original title of this post is one I hoped would be true when I thought of something to write about.  I've known that DCD has always been a flake of some sort, avoiding harsh truths when he thinks he could take an easy way out.  So I had my worries that he would flake out in the middle of the car transfer process.  For all I care, he could take the old car and not pay me for it.  I simply wanted it out of my parking spot.  And this is where I had my concerns when he said that he couldn't take possession of the car until early May....

Well, early May came and DCD decided to flake out on me.  I asked him if things are going OK with DMV, and all I got was:

After this - Crickets!   He didn't respond to messages, nor did he answer to phone calls.  He has the signed bill of sale, and all the paperwork needed to register the car in his name.  But if he can't register the car AND the car is stuck in my driveway, I'm the one holding the bag for the car until I can figure out a way to get the title back in my name and a proper copy of the release of lien.

DCD is acting like an embarrassed child who is afraid to take responsibility for his actions.  Sadly, I still have to act like an adult and deal with him until he does the right thing.  Then, I can disconnect completely, as his "friendship" has been shown to be worthless.

Commentary on Recent World Events

 

Years ago, my therapist taught me that anger is a secondary emotion.  It is a symptom of another feeling not being recognized or not being addressed.  For example, one might get angry because one is not able to identify when one is getting frustrated because one is not allowed to have their say in things.  Lately, the occupations of college campuses in support of Palestine have been in the news.  Sadly, most people have not bothered to do a Root Cause Analysis of the problem, and are blaming the wrong set of actors.  Pro-Palestinian supporters are right to complain about the needless suffering and loss of life going on in Gaza.  Pro-Israeli supporters are right to complain about Hamas' kidnapping and killing of innocent Israeli civilians on October 7, 2023.  However, only focusing on the latest atrocities to happen in the region prevents people from seeing the underlying problems in the region and dealing with them in a healthy manner.  Large groups of people are unable to identify the underlying causes of the problems in Israel and Palestine, and are unable to effectively deal with these problems.

What is happening in Israel and Palestine has its roots in the aftermath of World War 1, where the Ottoman Empire was carved up by Britain and France into their own mandates.  The Ottomans ruled the Middle East in relative peace for generations (their rule was far from perfect), and that peace was destroyed by the victors of World War 1.  In Europe, France was responsible for the humiliation and emasculation of Germany, imposing onerous conditions for post-war peace.  As a result, Germany's economy collapsed, Germany's currency became worthless, and the seeds were sown for an authoritarian leader to take control of Germany when the Great Depression happened - and one did. We know how evil Hitler proved to be.  Millions of Jews died in concentration camps.  Many who didn't die fled to Britain's Palestine mandate, feeling that friends in the Holy Land would provide them shelter.

After World War 2, the Jews wanted space in the holy land, and the UN carved out a map which gave the Jews a relatively small area which they could call their own.  However, Muslim nations such as Saudi Arabia were against this, and started a war in which they lost land which the UN had allocated to the Palestinians.  Outside agitators kept stirring up the Palestinian people, teaching them that Israel had no right to exist, and drew maps showing Israel as "Occupied Palestine".

Around 1979, Iranians overthrew the pro-US government of the Shah, installing a theocratic government.  That government became rabidly anti-Israel, and has sponsored war against the Israelis and against the US (by its proxies, such as Hamas and Hezbollah).  And this is where the most identifiable root cause of the problem comes from.

It is no secret that a "Grand Bargain" was about to be announced, where most of the Arab world would follow Saudi Arabia's lead and recognize Israel's right to exist, in exchange for Saudi Arabia to perform limited uranium enrichment for peaceful purposes and to have a national security arrangement with the United States.  I have no doubt that Iran authorized Hamas to attack Israel to disrupt the "Grand Bargain".  Sadly, this action succeeded beyond Iran's wildest dreams, causing Israel to attack what its people see as the root cause of the problem - Hamas' existence.

Of course, fighting Hamas on its own turf would result in needless Palestinian deaths.  But what was Israel to do?  Its people thirsted for blood revenge.  Hamas hides between the skirts of women and children, building its infrastructure in the midst of innocent Palestinian civilians.  To fight Hamas, Israel would need to inflict a lot of "Collateral Damage" on the Palestinian people.  This would cause many people to see Israel as committing genocide against the Palestinians, where the Israelis would see the situation as simply fighting a necessary war against an enemy who doesn't care about the deaths of its supporters. It didn't help the cause of peace that Bibi Netanyahu thought (before October 7th) that he could work with Hamas behind the scenes.  So, Israel is, in part, responsible for giving Hamas the power to cause Israel harm.  Bibi now has to "look tough" to preserve his place in Israel's power hierarchy.  But how much revenge should Israel be allowed to extract?  No one addresses Israel's legitimate needs in the recent protests.

So, why aren't people protesting against the real problem, Iran sponsoring terrorism?  People focus on the symptoms of diseases, and not their causes.  How many of us (like myself) look to take pills to manage our blood pressure and blood sugar levels, when diet and exercise can help deal with these problems when done often enough, with appropriate intensity?  People don't like doing root cause analyses, and this leads people to being divided and unable to properly address the real problems in the world.

Hopefully, we will see the Arab world forced to step up and propose ideas for peace which recognize Israel's right to exist, see Israel give up the unlawful West Bank settlements, and to have an Arab force policing what is to become a Palestinian state until a non-corrupt Palestinian government grows into the role of good governance, Now is the time for the Arab world to take the risks to make peace with Israel, proposing honorable terms for all.  This would block Iran from causing too much mischief in the Middle East, and would sow the seeds for long term stability in the region.

Game Night after a long day doing little. (a short post)

Another day, and the only reasons I got out of bed were: (1) to do laundry before RQS gets here tomorrow, and (2) to go to Game Night in Yonkers.  And that's about the only thing I did today, save for writing this blog entry.

- - - - - -

Although I woke up early, I really began my day around 3 pm.  (I spent much of the time watching TV and killing time.)  Once I got out of the bedroom, I started taking care of things, such as doing some of the laundry that was in the hamper since I got home from my cruise.  (I was starting to run low on underwear, so I knew that I had to finally take care of this task.)  While my laundry was in the washer (and dryer), I got ready to go out for the evening as Marian. When I was ready to go out, I almost forgot that I had clothes in the dryer.  So, I brought them upstairs before going out to play games.

I arrived in Yonkers around 8 pm, and hung out until the second round of games started.  Of course, I did poorly in comparison to the others.  But then, I go to Game nights for the connections to people, and not for the games themselves.

On the way home, I called RQS, and we chatted for the better part of an hour.  It'll be nice to see her in person tomorrow.

Miracles of modern dentistry?

Long gone are the days where going to the dentist would be this uncomfortable.  Unlike getting a leg amputated in the Civil War, one couldn't bite a bullet to deal with the pain of a tooth extraction.  Years later, they perfected filling technology and local anesthesia, making a visit to the much less painful (except, maybe, in the wallet).  And now, the balance between bodily pain and financial pain is in favor of financial pain, as fewer people fear going to the dentist today than in the past.

Today was my visit to the dentist.  In addition to a scheduled teeth cleaning, I got an updated set of x-rays and a dental exam.  $500 later, I was out of the office with another appointment scheduled in 2 weeks for a small filling.  AARGH!   At least I have the money in the bank to afford it.  But this is only one of the money sucks that I'll deal with this month.

Sometime later in the year, I may decide to take another (small) distribution from my 401k, this time to finance a dental implant that I've done without for over 10 years.  If I had stayed employed with the bank, I'd have done this already.  After 10 years, the dentist will have to start from scratch, including a CAT Scan of my jaw to see if I have enough bone mass for the implant..  And this will cost even more money,  Not having the tooth in this place has affected how I chew on food.  So this may finally be the time I deal with the problem once and for all....

Catching up with things at home

 

Today was another do-nothing day.  I might have done a little bit of putting away stuff, but not enough to say I did much.  

- - - - - -

I woke up today with only one thing on my schedule - a "Tea" meetup in White Plains.  (Think of: English Breakfast, Earl Grey, and China Black, not the herb my generation also called "Tea".)  So, I lollygagged for most of the day, save for putting travel related items back in their storage bag.  When 5:00 pm came around, I showered, shaved, and dressed to go out as Marian.  As I was starting up my car, an acquaintance called to talk about many things.  (I had missed her call this weekend, as I was in-flight to JFK.  I just wonder what happened to the message I sent her, saying I was in transit.)  This kept me busy for most of the drive to the meetup.  

When I got to White Plains, I had a little problem finding the tea parlor.  But I found the place in time to have a savory danish and a serving of iced tea before we moved over to Playa Bowls next door.  Our motley crew kept up the conversation started in the tea parlor.  (One woman asked whether I had been to the LGBT center nearby, and I mentioned that they are constructing a building of their own in the heart of White Plains.  So I know that she probably read me, yet treated me as just another woman.) We talked about some of the meetup groups in Westchester, and noted that the leader of one of the groups (a leader that couldn't deal with me being transgender) was a bigot, and that her group wasn't worth being in.  (This feeling was echoed by others at the table.)  Hopefully, I will be able to meet these people again soon, as we all "clicked" together.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So I decided to make a run to Wegman's to pick up some food for the rest of the week.  Shortly after I loaded my car, I saw some lightning.  By the time I got home, it was raining hard enough to have me leave two 12-packs of soda in the car.  At least I got home safe and sound - and ready for tomorrow afternoon at the dentist....

A day with RQS at her place as Marian, then going to my place for the evening

 

After 9 days away from home, it was nice to spend the better part of the day at RQS's place in Marian mode.  Unfortunately, I had to make it home, as I had an appointment at the bank as Mario, so that I could take care of some co-op business the next day.  So both of us trekked to my place to spend the evening together - something we haven't been able to do for a while.

- - - - - -

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I spent the whole day in transit from LA, returning to NYC.  Neither RQS nor I wanted to get up.  So we lollygagged a bit, then went out for tacos.  One thing about the Ridgewood Taco Factory I can say is that its food is as good as any Mexican food I've had in California. And it was a better choice for food than the bagels RQS might have selected for our meal.

Once done with lunch. we went back to RQS's place, picked up our bags, and proceeded to the bus for our trip to Croton.  I had chosen a subway route which would allow us to use "Accessible" stations (elevators from/to street, mezzanine and platform levels), so that neither of us would have to use staircases with our rolling bags.  All went well as we transferred from the bus to the subway, and that's where the irritation started.  One of us used our transit cards to open the gate used by handicapped people, and a stream of 20 people entered without paying their fares.  We encountered some of those people again at the elevator, as these mothers with children took up the space on the elevator for two cycles.  Luckily, we still had time to spare before the train to Manhattan came.

We took the train into Manhattan, and got off at Union Square for the next leg of our trip to Grand Central.  And this is where we encountered another glitch in our plans - the elevator to the uptown platform was out of service until the summer.  So we ended up having to use a staircase after all.  I had no problem with the large suitcase that weighed over 50 pounds, but RQS was having trouble with the smaller suitcase that may have weighed 30 pounds.  Luckily, some good Samaritan helped RQS with the smaller bag, and we were able to make the train to Times Square, then a transfer onto the shuttle to Grand Central.

Finally, at Grand Central, we were able to take a break for 5 minutes.  I was already sweating a little because of my wig and my physical effort, and knew I'd need to take a break when we got to Croton. We ended up taking the local, then caught a cab to finally reach my apartment.  Although we later went out for a bite to eat, our day was effectively over, as neither of us had much energy to do anything else but watch reruns of old TV shows before finally going to sleep.

California Vacation - Day 10 (Disembarkation & Returning to New York)

 

Last night, I put my large suitcase out for delivery to the pier upon the ship's return to LA.  This morning, I woke up unnaturally early (4:30 am PDT) and couldn't justify going back to sleep.  So I decided to shower early, finish packing for my return trip home, and go to the buffet before the crowds arrived.  And this proved to be a wise move, as I was able to eat in peace AND return to my cabin to relax before Debarkation.

Disembarkation on the Discovery Princess is a reasonably well organized affair.  A night or two before the end of the cruise, room stewards supply cruisers with luggage tags to be used for Disembarkation. Different colored tags are associated with groups of travelers.  For example, I was given Cream tags, associated with people with paid airport transfers.  Others had Brown tags, associated with people who had scheduled bus tours with airport transfers afterward.  As expected by the cruise line, I left the assigned gathering spot (the Princess Theater) at 8:20 am, and made it off the ship by 8:30 am.

Once inside the LA cruise terminal, it's a long walk to retrieve one's bags.  I figure that I must have walked a mile from the time I started my walk from the Princess Theater to the place my large suitcase was placed in the terminal.  From there, it was a short, quick walk to US Customs, where they matched my face against the photo ID I provided before the cruise.  And then, it was another long walk to the bus for my airport transfer.  Along the way, a fellow stopped me to ask which airline I was flying on, and he made sure each of my two bags were tagged with the correct terminal number at the airport.  So, by the time I got on the bus, my bags were ready to be returned to me when I reached Delta's terminal.

When I got to the airport, I retrieved my bags and proceeded to check in my bag.  With a little help from an attendant, my bag made it to check-in, and I made it to the TSA security checkpoint.  And that's where the "Fun" occurred.  Although I presented the first person with my legal ID (male, with Mario's name), when I reached the scanners, someone pressed the female button - and my genital area was flagged for inspection.  So I ended up getting a pat down by the first officer available - a female.  She was totally professional, and I was on my way into the secure zone in less than 5 minutes.

My flight home was uneventful, save that I didn't hear which luggage carousel would be used for this flight's bags.  So I was very glad that I had Delta's app on my phone - and found that my bag would come out on Carousel #12.  One problem - Where was Carousel #12?  I asked someone who told me that it was off to the side from Carousels #10 & #11.  Once I got there, I found my bag without problem, and began the long walk to the Uber stand.

For those unfamiliar with JFK airport, it is located in the middle of Jamaica Bay.  This means that it is usually uncomfortably humid.  Even with 75 degree weather, I was uncomfortable wearing leggings and a short sleeved dress.  After I reached the Uber stand, I summoned a car, and he was looking for me within 2 minutes.  Within 30 minutes, I was at RQS's house and ready to get some sleep.

California Vacation - Day 09 (Ensenada, Mexico)

 

This is as close as I got to setting foot on Mexican soil.  Last year, RQS and I reached this Port in better weather, and we decided to stay on board.  This year, I have been cruising as Marian, and I didn't want to risk the hassles of getting off the ship in a foreign land as Marian.

I didn't see my new friend this morning, and it's just as well.  This was a day where I wanted to prepare for my return trip home.  Unlike my flight to LA, I have to make sure that everything I pack in my large suitcase is not needed until I reach New York, as it must be in front of my stateroom door by 8 pm.

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Most of the day, I stayed to myself.  Looking at what I did onboard, I didn't take advantage of more than half the "freebies" included in my fare package.  Yet, I feel I got my money's worth.  Did I need the specialty desserts?  No.  Did I go to any of the casual restaurants for lunch?  Only one - the pizza joint.  And I certainly didn't take advantage of the exercise classes.  But, when I factor in the fact that virtually everything was paid for up front, the only expenses I incurred were off-ship dining and transportation.  That's not bad.

As I write this, I have yet to pick up the three 8"x10" pictures taken of me on this ship.  I will post a few in this blog over time. But my main focus over the next few hours will be packing my large suitcase and spending the remainder of my non-refundable credits before they expire.  So I doubt I'll have more to say before I leave for New York.

It's been a good trip.  But I wish I could have visited my uncle.  There's no way I can say, "better luck next year", as he is no longer with us.  So I'll sign off for now, and provide a recap with tomorrow's entry.

California Vacation - Day 08 (San Diego)

 

San Diego.  It was nice NOT having to entertain my new friend for a change.  She found someone else to keep her company, and I can have free time for myself for the last day of the cruise.

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But let me start at the beginning....

Again, I didn't get a good sleep, and woke up much earlier than needed.  It was just as well, as I had a schedule for the day: Have Breakfast in the buffet, then get off the ship and see RQS's cousin.  Since I didn't make arrangements to see my new friend, I enjoyed breakfast without having to talk with anyone. And then, all I had to do was wait for RQS's cousin (I'll call her "C" for now) to arrive at the pier.

Around 11 am, C arrived, and I met her in a female presentation for the first time.  There was no strange reaction, and C made the effort to call me Marian for the entire time we spent together.  We weren't sure of what we were going to do at first.  Did we want to go to the Zoo?  Or, did we just want to hang out and chat?  Chatting won out.  

C drove me through downtown San Diego to show me around, then she drove to Harbor Island where we sat on a park bench for 90 minutes before going to a local restaurant which overlooked the water.  Lunch was my treat - I was glad to show her that I appreciated her company.  And she was glad that RQS and I found each other. All too soon, C had to go home.  She didn't want to drive in rush hour traffic, and I wanted to get back to the ship.  So, C dropped me off and I did my thing onboard the ship.

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Once back onboard the ship, I took a break before going to dinner.  I had reservations for a shared table, and was willing to wait until other people showed up. While waiting, I saw one of the people I dined with last night. and said hello just before they finished their after dinner coffee.  It was nice to see him, and even nicer to see his wife.  Too bad she couldn't have been with us at our table - we had a great crowd.

A few minutes later, a lovely couple from the North of England joined me.  We enjoyed chatting about shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.  Needless to say, I wished we could have chatted longer in a more quiet place.  Then, it was time to go back to my room for the evening.

California Vacation - Day 07 (Catalina Island)

 

Today's Port stop was Catalina Island (Avalon).  This is a place where I'd like to visit again, stay a couple of days, and chill for a while.  But I won't get this chance on any cruise anytime soon.

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I had arranged to meet my new friend around 9:30 am in the buffet for breakfast.  And again, we kept talking until it was past lunch time.  Well, I found an excuse around 1:00 pm to go to the tender boats and take a ride to Avalon.  

Avalon is the main town on Catalina Island.  The tourist section is picturesque, and a great place to chill for a few hours.  The area near the dock is filled with tourist based shops and restaurants, yet it felt like a place where people actually lived - several people were walking with their dogs in the area near the dock.

One of the stores I went into was a former bank building.  The current tenant has turned the former vault into a place where local artisans' work is displayed.  Further down the stretch is a ice cream and candy store, where I bought some candy for RQS and some ice cream for myself.  Once done with the ice cream, I called RQS for a while and caught up on things.  And then, it was back to the ship before dinner.

Changing into a fresh dress, I went downstairs for dinner - finally at a shared table in the main dining room.  There was a motivational speaker from New Zealand at the table, a couple from Las Vegas, and some other people who I didn't get the chance to talk to that much.  Most of my conversations were with the woman next to me (from Las Vegas), her husband, a male nurse across from me, and the motivational speaker.  Somehow, I seemed to click with everyone at the table, as my idea of skills every child should learn (Baseball, Poker and Chess) was taken well.  And the motivational speaker found what I had to say about America's political divisions (as well as the rest of the world) and the failures of democracies to deliver value to all citizens to be very interesting.  (I can't reconstruct that conversation in any detail anymore.)  Although we were all seated by 6:30 pm, we didn't get our main courses until 8:00 pm.  None of us were happy about this.  But it did allow for the many great conversational threads we were sharing while we waited.

Once done with dinner, I walked over to the "Inch of Gold" stand and bought 2 x 23" necklace chains (from which I plan to attach pendants), getting 2 "free" bracelet chains as part of the deal.  This took longer than expected, as I missed the opening numbers of Tommy McPhee in the ship's theater.  This Scottish singer did numbers from Neil Sedaka, Elton John, Barry Manilow and others.  He has a good voice.  But it is easy to see how he'd be performing on cruise ships with small audiences instead of areas with large audiences - he didn't have charisma, nor did he have any material of his own.  In short, I'd sit in the audience if he performed on a cruise ship I was on, but I wouldn't pay to see him live.

Leaving the theater, I checked when the chains would be ready (the last night of the cruise), and had a drink before going to bed....

California Vacation - Day 06 (Sea Day)

 

Last night, I fell asleep between 2:00 am and 3:00 am and woke up this morning around 7:30 am.  Of course, looking back at things, I didn't feel thoroughly rested.  But I made sure to get up and get dressed to connect with my new friend for breakfast at the buffet around 9:30 am.  As has become usual on this ship, we hung out together from breakfast through lunch.  And then, we met again for afternoon tea, only to schedule dinner together with her friends. Now, it's nice to have someone to chat with, but it's always nice to have time alone. I just didn't make enough of this time today.  But I will do so tomorrow, when we reach Catalina island.

But I have gotten out of sequence.  So I'll go back a step or so....

We rushed through our breakfast, as there was a cooking demonstration being given in the main theater.  It was scripted well, with one chef playing a true professional, and the other being a clown who would screw up the recipes by adding too much of certain important ingredients such as Garlic, Worcestershire Sauce, Brandy and Vodka.  It was a funny show, followed by a quick tour of the galley. Next, we were off to lunch in one of the main dining rooms, where we shared a table with other cruisers.  By the time this meal came around, I really wasn't hungry.  I simply ate to be social.

Once lunch was over, we took a breather, as afternoon tea was coming up for the last time on the cruise.  This time, I couldn't find my friend, so I sat at a shared table with other cruisers.  This was an interesting group, as I was the only Easterner, and we shared our thoughts about the "Grab and Go" thefts going on in California, and the lack of an adequate response by law enforcement.  No wonder why at least one Latin American nation elected a dictator to clean up the mess left by a bumbling democracy - and he is well liked for making it safe again to go out of the house.  Once this table broke up, I found my friend and some of her friends at a nearby table, and sat down with them for a while before going back to my cabin to change for the last gala night of the cruise.

Once I got some pictures taken, I went to dinner with my new friend, and then helped two people at the table to celebrate their birthdays.  This was steak and lobster night, and I ordered (and paid for) an extra portion, so that I could have an extra piece of lobster with my meal.  Dinner went by quickly, and I exited so that I could go back to my room for a while before going to the main theater to see Elliot Hunter perform his illusions.  As much as I do not look to see magicians, I can be entertained by them now and then.

All too soon, it was time to go to bed.  Although I have plans to see my friend for breakfast, I will be heading out to Catalina island to spend the day....

California Vacation - Day 05 (San Francisco)

 

26 years ago, I scattered my late wife's ashes in a spot under the Golden Gate Bridge, right behind Fort Point.  Due to 9/11, this spot is no longer accessible to the public.  But I try to get as close as possible each time I visit this city.  Today's visit would be special, as I don't see myself coming back to this city for a while.

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When I got up this morning, I planned to drop by Fort Point and then visit the Swan Oyster Depot for lunch.  My plans were to visit the fort first, and then take Muni (SF's Mass Transit system) to the Oyster Depot for lunch.  These plans were blown to pieces early in the day, when a lady asked if she could share my table at the buffet.

This lady and I start chatting, and it was as if we had been related to each other in a prior life.  We chatted from 9:30 am to 2:00 pm without stopping.  She never picked up on the fact that I am not a cisgender woman, as I code shifted my conversation to refer to my life with my late wife as if she were my late husband.  We talked about many of the things that only women could experience, such as "Boob Sweat" and struggles with one's bra.  We talked about our late spouses.  And we talked about what we liked about the opposite sex.  (I can translate well in a pinch.)  So, when her friend called her, I took this as a good opportunity to make my way to Fort Point via trolley car and bus.

Getting to Fort Point from Pier 27 is relatively easy.  One takes the historic trolley to Fisherman's Wharf, then walks a couple of blocks to catch the 28 bus to the Golden Gate Bridge.  From there, it's a walk of 0.8 miles (all downhill) to the shoreline and then to the Fort.  Once I paid my respects to my late wife (for which this might be the last time), I decided to make it back to the bus station for my return to the ship.  What was an "easy" 0.8 mile downhill walk was an arduous 200 foot uphill trek back (over the same 0.8 miles) to the bus stop.  By the time I reached the bus stop, I felt that I needed a shower.  Only one problem - it would have to be quick, because I had a 5:00 pm reservation at the ship's steakhouse and I would likely be a few minutes late.

When I arrived at the ship, I proceeded to my room, then stripped, showered, dressed (in fresh clothing), and reapplied my makeup before going downstairs to dine.  I chose both the sea scallops (with salmon roe) and the French Onion Soup for appetizers before trying the veal chop.  Although the veal chop was good for what it was, I found that it was not the cut of veal that I like to eat because of the texture of the meat.  (Give me a good queen cut of prime rib from Peter Luger any day....)  However, I don't have any regrets in trying this cut of veal, as I try to try out new things to eat whenever I can.

After dinner, I realized that I needed to rest, and I fell out for an hour or so.  Shortly after waking up for a while, I exchanged a series of messages with RQS before calling it an early night.