Lunch with a friend, and a lost credit card.

 

I really didn't think I'd want to get up this morning, so I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving in time for lunch.  Each month, a friend of mine from the census gets together with me and we have lunch at a nearby restaurant.  Today was no different, save that I was a little bit "off".

Considering that it was finally too cool for me to wear my summer dresses.  So I had to pull out something a little bit warmer to wear - a long sleeved blue dress with matching blue tights.  Although it's been forever since I put on a pair of tights, I felt comfortable, knowing that my "junk" was safely tucked and would stay in place during the meal.  (Soon, I will be wearing my Fall/Winter wardrobe exclusively, and I will miss the comfort of my Summer wardrobe.  But I digress.)  Once dressed, I was out the door, and at the restaurant only a few minutes late.

Not seeing my friend's car, I knew to walk into the place and look for my friend - who was sitting by the front door.  However, we ended up moving from our original table, as it was too loud where we were.  So we took our napkins, utensils, and menus and proceeded to the back.  And this was much more comfortable than where we were first seated, making it much easier to chat without a lot of the noise being made up front.  For the most part, our chat was mostly about the trips we took and the trips we were about to take. So, I won't mention much here.  But I was uncomfortable, as I felt "off" from the time I got up.  As a result, I was glad when 2:30 came around, and we bid each other farewell.

With lunch being done, it was time to fill my car with gas.  And this is where I noticed that my Exxon card was missing.  Normally, I keep it with my cell phone, so that I can use it in either gender presentation.  But it was gone.  So I proceeded to the BP station in town and filled up there.  From there, I went home and filed a missing card report.  Dollars to donuts I'll find the old card before its' replacement comes in....

My checking account shrinketh...

 

Like many retirees, I am draining both my savings accounts and my checking accounts.  I made the decision to do this when I quit the job I had at the imaging firm.  As much as it pains me to see my balances go down, I know that this annoyance will end soon - when Social Security payments kick in.

- - - - - -

Unlike many people, I am lucky to have a pension, a reasonably sized social security payment (as of January), and a 401K which I have only touched once.  Managed properly, in an age of low inflation, I am reasonably set for life - as long as I stay tolerably healthy.  And I will be trying to stay tolerably healthy for as long as I can do so.

But what does this all mean?

In order to stay healthy, I will need to lose weight and become more active.  The older I get, the harder this is to do. There is a benefit to this - I will be able to refresh my wardrobe from more sites that I can now choose from.  It'll be much easier to buy nice clothes when I'm a size-22w than now, when I am a size-28w. 

- - - - - -

And now, back to checks....

I rarely write checks these days, save for those recipients to whom I don't want to make electronic money transfers.  When I was gainfully employed, I worked on machines which would process over 2mm checks per day, items moving through check sorters at 20 mph.  Now, if a bank receives a check, it is captured where it is received, and digital copies of the check are electronically exchanged between banks.  Check volume is only a small fraction of what it once was, and that is a good thing.  Yet, I miss the old way of doing things.  It was tactile (in some ways) and physical.  Today's method of moving money may be more secure, but it is too easy to lose track of where one's money is going.

Would I switch back to paper checks for most of my bills?  No.  Even I respect today's reality and accept change for the benefits it provides.  But I do miss the days when I was paid very well for a business model which is mostly obsolete now.

I just ordered a new dress. (Now to find one to donate....)

 

The other day, I saw this dress on the One Stop Plus / Catherine's site.  Before I decided to buy it, I consulted with RQS, as I will be wearing (sometimes) it when we go out together.  However, I won't be sure if I like the dress until I see it on me.  This is one reason why I wish Catherine's still had its retail stores.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I have learned how to dress as a woman by buying many things that didn't work that well on my figure.  Most of those garments have been donated to charity, with more to come as I clean out my closets and drawers.  I have found that long tunics and leggings work best for me in casual mode (when I'm not wearing a dress), but there are some blouse/trouser combinations that work for me as well.

My rule of thumb is to donate one article of clothing for every one I buy.  Last night, I decided to get dressed (in female presentation) and drive to Wegman's for a grocery run. However, I couldn't find the lightweight duster I would wear over my unitard. So, I wore a shirt dress from a Universal Standard mystery box for the first time.  Just as I was about to turn into the store's parking lot, I discovered that I left my wallet at home.  As a result, I didn't bother stopping to pick up food, and proceeded to go back home slowly and on side roads.

This morning, I was too tired to do much of anything, and didn't bother getting showered until mid-evening.Before I left, I found the duster I was looking for last night, and put it aside for the next time I wear the unitard. So, I moved my ID and money back to Mario's wallet and made my drive to White Plains.  $88.00 later, I was on my way back home with most of the things I was looking for, and a couple of things that were unplanned purchases.

- - - - - -

During the ride home, I touched base with RQS at our usual time.  Something must have been wrong with one of our phones or the phone network, as her voice was coming in muddy - even after a couple of tries to get a clear signal. Luckily, neither of us had that much to say to each other, and we will catch up with each other at the "Same Bat Time and Same Bat Channel."

Are we ready for Electric Cars? Not Yet!

 

The above 3 pictures illustrate why America is far from ready for electric cars.  The owner of this Nissan Leaf had to string an extension cord from inside his corner apartment in Queens, NYC to a special charging cable, then use a protector for the cable as it crossed the sidewalk to finally reach the charging port in the car.  If the questionably legal space near the owner's apartment not been available, the owner would not have been able to charge this car, as there were no charging stations nearby.  In this community, electric cars are far from ready for prime time.

Why do I mention this today?

Lately, the big automakers are starting to push electric cars.  Yet, most of us are in charging station deserts. There is a big disconnect between reality and the hype.  Without a big change, we are going to get screwed big time by the changeover to electric vehicles.

- - - - - -

Do I support electrification of the transportation network?  Yes.  But we can't achieve this by 2035, as California and New York have mandated in law.  Our transportation needs alone are part of the problem, as we live in densely packed cities, sprawling suburbs, and distant rural areas.  Although frequent and convenient mass transit might solve the transportation problems in the cities, it does not solve the problem for the suburbs and rural areas.  To solve the needs of the suburbs, we would need upgrades to the electric grid, many thousands more charging stations, and quicker charging cars - to name a few things. And to solve the needs of the rural areas, we might need larger batteries with more storage than available now.  Yet, our driving habits would also need to change, as many Americans (like me) still are in love with the road trip.

The transition from horse and carriage to the fossil fueled vehicle did not happen overnight.  Nor was this a complete transition, as we have electric powered mass transit in many cities.  Like biological evolution, we will likely see "obsolete" structures continue in niches, such as the horse drawn carriages in Central Park. 

- - - - - -

Will we see the end of the gas powered car?  Probably not in our lifetime.  Many of us find it time and cost effective to drive our own cars for round trips under 300 miles, especially when driving between cities/suburbs and rural areas.  For example, for me to see my brother in another NYC suburban community, I can drive to his house much easier and quicker than I could get there via mass transit.  (Yes, it's much easier for me now, given that LIRR East Side Access is available.  But it doesn't deal with about a mile and a half of walking between my apartment and the bus, the bus and the MNRR train station, from Grand Central (MNRR) and Grand Central Madison (LIRR), and from my brother's LIRR train station and his house.)  Given that the further one lives from dense cities that mass transit becomes impractical, the more likely is is that one will need a car for medium to long distance trips.  And electric cars are not ready for this task, nor will they be ready in the next few years.

- - - - - -

So, where does this leave us?

Government is rushing ahead with unrealistic deadlines that can't be met. There is no urgent priority to make this transition, like the priority we had in secret for the Manhattan Project. The public is resisting, both with ethical behaviors (such as NOT buying electric cars) and unethical behaviors (such as blocking the few electric charging stations available for these cars).  But the message is clear - we are not yet ready for this transition, and won't be when the government has mandated it takes place.  

So, how can we change this?

We need something similar to a "Marshall Plan" to build up the electricity infrastructure to support the  future transportation needs of our society.  We need more energy, delivered over more power lines, and stored at more charging stations.  We need cars that can be fully charged in 5 minutes, that have a range of 300+ miles, and cost less than gas cars to own and run.  Without this, we will have a transportation nightmare within a decade.

I am not saying what we have to do as individuals.  But I am saying that we need to be skeptical of the promises made by big government and big business, as they do not yet reflect reality.

How does one change a lifetime of bad habits?

 

Over the past week, I came to realize that I have to change one of my habits - and fast.  I love to eat, but my choices in what I eat are sub-optimal at best.

Although I won't go into details, I found that I have all the symptoms of something serious.  Yet, my doctor never asked me any questions in regard to me having these symptoms.  This makes me uncomfortable in how he manages his patients.  But I am also responsible for this, so I won't blame things on him for my own irresponsibility.

Can things be reversed?  For the most part, yes.  But only if I lose weight by changing my diet and getting more exercise.  Hopefully, I'll be able to do this.

Any ideas on how to slowly make the changes I need, so that I won't fall back into old habits?

Sad News, with more to come (eventually)

 

Today's post will be a short one.  But it involves sadness caused by a situation that I have no control over, and frustration because I have limited access to information.

As I have mentioned before, both my aunt and uncle are in nursing homes for the ailments of old age.  When RQS and I were in Los Angeles earlier this year, we were not able to see my uncle, as he was just told that he'd never be leaving the nursing home due to his frailness.  Today, I finally heard from my uncle, and he is in a bad way.

Last year, my uncle fell and broke his hips.  From what I can understand, he is not a candidate for hip replacement surgery.  All they could do is patch him up.  He has been in the nursing home since then.  When I spoke to him in December, he still had the voice of a man who would resume his life as soon as he was certified able to do so.  Of course, this time never came.  In June, I talked with him for 5 minutes, and he still had a tolerably strong voice.  But it was one weakened by circumstance.  Tonight, he could barely hear me on the phone, and his voice sounded like someone with no interest left in living.

He is depressed, in part, because he has no children, and because his nearest relatives live a continent away.  Neither my brother nor I can hop in a car to see him.  If we were to visit, he'd have to hop on a plane, spend at least one night in LA, and then fly home after the visit.  This is why I scheduled a California Coastal Cruise for this past June.  If he was unable to see us, we'd still have a great time on the left coast.

After our too short phone call, I called my brother to report on things.  My brother gave me another tidbit of information which I did not have.  And I asked him to relay my concerns to my uncle's agent, as I do not have the agent's name, nor do I want to be the point of contact for information regarding my uncle's affairs.  (Also, I feel that my brother knows more than he lets on, and doesn't trust me with anything.  But that's another story for another day.)  Hopefully, I'll get more information soon.  But I know that in the long term, it will only be bad news.  And I feel sad about things that eventually must come.

Black / Jew Love (don't blame me, that's what THEY called it.)

 

The other night, RQS and I went to see a one person performance (When Your Soulmate Dies) in an Off-Off-Broadway theater.  As I was led to believe, it was going to be the story of a widower talking about the loss of his wife.  But it was much, much more than that.  It was the performer's way of getting people to open their eyes and see of the injustices in our culture that we take for granted.  And it succeeded in (1) Bringing the audience to laugh until we cried, (2) Lifting the veil off many people's misconceptions of white and male privilege in our society, and (3) Making me wish I had gotten the chance to meet a woman whose life ended way too soon.

- - - - - -

Instead of telling their life story out of sequence (as performed), I will boil the two hours spent here into several (all too short) phrases:

• White Man meets Black Woman at work.
• The couple have a successful marriage.
• The couple develops a very funny Husband/Wife comedy act, but our culture prevents it from hitting the big time. (You'll have to hear his explanation for yourself.  I agree with him,)
• The wife is diagnosed with kidney failure, cancer and Covid-19 during the pandemic.
• The husband sees how the culture victimizes women and people of color in themedical establishment.
• The husband uses his "act" as a catharsis to help him heal

Am I doing him or his performance justice?  Not in a long shot!  Hopefully, you'll go to the Alchemical Theater at 50 West 17th street (12th Floor) in NYC (Saturday Nights at 7:30) and see for yourself.

PS: RQS gave him Permission to Cum.  (You'll have to see him to understand that.)

 

 

Look Ma, No Cavities!

Although I don't have too much to talk about today, I must mention my visit to the dentist.  Scheduling teeth cleanings 3x/year continues to work for me, and I try to maintain this frequency as best as possible.  This visit was a month overdue, but wasn't as bad as expected.  

- - - - - -

Unlike my Internist, I visit my Dentist in female presentation.  God knows what my dentist and dental hygienist think of me, but I am always treated with respect when I go there.  Today was no different than usual.  However, there was one thing of note that I found mildly interesting....

Both times I had the opportunity to sit in the reception area, I encountered a lady waiting for her husband's dental work to be completed.  She complimented me on my dress, but I was unable to return a compliment for anything about her.  (She looked like life had beaten her up, and she came out the worse for wear.)  When she started talking about her life, she disclosed that her first husband was a drug addict, a convicted thief, and a wife beater.  And there was more that I can't recall.  Needless to say, she did the right thing in leaving this man, as she may not have lived to tell me the tale.  Add to this, she had spent some time in government custody - but only for a couple of misdemeanors.  Luckily for her, she met her current husband 14 years ago, and he finally made her "an honest woman" two weeks ago.

- - - - - -

Once done with the dentist, I took care of a couple things around the house, then took a nap.  Shortly after 6 pm, I got ready for game night and proceeded to Dunkin Donuts for some Munchkins as my contribution to the "party".  Unfortunately, somewhere between the Donut shop and my car, I lost one of the earrings that I was given by the host & hostess of game night, and that saddened me a bit.

Game night itself was inconsequential, with me losing both of the games I played.  Such is life.  I'm just glad I don't have to count on my game playing skills to make a living....

My late wife and I had a lot in common.

 

After my wife passed, and before I met RQS, I often felt that there would be no one who could fit well into my life.  In retrospect, it is obvious why several exes and I couldn't make things work.  Add my transgender nature to the normal complications of life, and I felt that it would be a fluke to find a woman who felt comfortable with my full and authentic self.  I felt like the woman pictured above - alone, but hopeful.

Yet, after a few conversations I've had lately, including a recent one with TCL, I started thinking of one of my wife's habits.  She was a clothes horse who never pruned her wardrobe.  I, too, am a clothes horse, but one who is pruning her wardrobe.  And some of the pruning efforts have shown me that in my haste, I might get rid of things I really wanted to keep.  To give the pruning process too much thought can result in paralysis - something I've experienced when the contents of my apartment reached a critical mass.

A while back, XGFJ helped me get some order in the corners of my bedroom.  This order was lost during the pandemic.  Lately, RQS has helped me go through the clothing I accumulated and quite a few donation bags have been delivered to a local charity.  Yet, when I look at my closet, I am still finding clothes which are eligible for the next donation bag.

I'll bet that my late wife would be laughing if she could see me today.  She had clothes hanging from the molding over the doors and closets, and I have done the same thing on occasion.  Like her, I accumulated way too much, and couldn't muster enough energy to get rid of the things I no longer need, want or use.  Unlike her, I've had assistance in getting this place into order.

Would she have felt comfortable with me wearing dresses outside the house?  I'll never have the answer to that question.  Would she be comfortable living with someone who was "out"?  Again, I'll never know.  But I do know that she coped with life the best way she could, and wasn't able to reach out for the help she needed when she needed it.  Hopefully, as I get older, I'll know where to find help and be able to get it when needed....

Another day without leaving the apartment.

The other day, I went to my doctor and my blood pressure had spiked a bit.  One of the things he told me to do was to take and record my blood pressure readings on a daily basis and have him see it when I see him next.  So, when Amazon delivered my blood pressure monitor, I had to try it out to find out whether my blood pressure was under control or not.  And after 4 readings throughout, I consistently got numbers that said that the medicines I take were working.  So I'll have something to say to my doctor when I see him next month.

But this was one of many little things that made up my day....

Given how dreary the weather was expected to be, I figured that this would be a good time for a Jammie Day.  And I stayed in my PJ's and relaxed.  One of the things I wanted to do was find a duster that I could use as a dress like garment worn over a unitard.  Unfortunately, I might have given this away in one of my donation bags.  If so, I will need to look for another garment I can use in its place - but it won't be as pretty.

Late in the evening, I received a long awaited phone call from my ex-GF Patty.  We've maintained a friendship over the years since we broke up, and I think that her husband is a great fellow.  The phone call came just before I was scheduled to call RQS, so I texted RQS to tell her what's up, and that I'd call her immediately after finishing things with Patty.  Patty has had a very busy summer, and hasn't been able to keep up with her correspondence.  So, Patty apologized for not getting back to me sooner, explaining that the house that she lives in is being sold.  Luckily, she doesn't have to move, although her rent may change.  We caught up with the other details of what's been going on in our lives, and agreed to try and get together again sometime soon.

Next, it was my delayed phone call with RQS and I told her about Patty and her apartment.  We caught up on our daily events, and called it an early night.  Knowing me, I'll have trouble sleeping again and only get a few hours of sleep before seeing the dentist.  Hopefully, I'll be wrong and have a good and restful sleep....

The day started off with a visit to the doctor

 

I hate doctors' visits - especially when I receive bad news.  Today, I found out that my blood pressure spiked, and that my doctor wants me to do daily monitoring.  AARGH!   It's hard enough for me to remember to take my medications in a timely manner....

But enough of that.   After leaving the doctor, I went to BJ's to do some shopping, followed by a visit to Trader Joe's to buy some food for the week.  And then, I had time to kill before this month's co-op board meeting.

- - - - - -

Tonight's board meeting would be the first one with the site manager in training, and I was hoping that we could start off on the right foot. First, we had to interview an applicant to buy an apartment, and that went quickly.  And then, we met with the new site manager.  This time, things went quickly, as he understood what we were trying to do, and we understood what he was trying to say to us.  What a change of tome from our prior meetings!  After he left, we took care of some remaining co-op business, and ended the meeting in record time.

Next on my list of things to do would be applying for social security.  As much as I expected that I'd have problems with the process, it went smoother than expected.  For example, when I had to enter data in regard to my late wife, the application form made it easy for me to bypass data that I don't have anymore - such as her social security number.  Now, I have to wait until money starts flowing into my checking account.  Then, I'll deal with fixing the tax withholding on both my pension payments and my social security payments.

- - - - - 

As I've said in other posts: Most of what goes on in a transgender person's life has nothing to do with being transgender.  We still put our trousers on one leg at a time.  But we also have to deal with other issues which would not have been expected for us if we were cisgender.

Giving away some wigs - a quick post

 

The other day, I found a couple of wigs of the style (and quality) I used to wear when I first started going out as Marian.  By the standard of wigs I wear today, these were the equivalent of cheap costume jewelry. Although the style looked good on me, I would have to replace the wig on a monthly (or even, a bi-weekly basis) to be wearing something that looks good on me.

Years ago, I started wearing inexpensive wigs that cost $60 or so.  They served my purpose way back when, but I knew I needed to wear something better.  So, I graduated to wearing wigs in the $300-$400 range, and replacing them every 6 months or so.  (I still can't believe that one of my current wigs still looks OK after 9+ months of wear.  But I will soon be using it as a backup when I take my upcoming Bahamas cruise.)  There's a part of me that would like to try a much more expensive human hair wig that costs $1,800-$2,500 or so (as once recommended by my former cruise partner, FCP), but I am uncomfortable spending that kind of money on a wig when my face still looks relatively masculine - even with properly applied makeup.

What might the big deal be in regard to the human hair wig?  To answer this, one has to understand the psychology of the largest group of consumers (in the New York Area) for human hair wigs - the ultra orthodox Jewish women whose faith prohibits them from showing their real hair in public.  To get around this, they wear wigs in place of their own human hair as a way to skirt around laws of their faith. (Don't get me started about their Eruvs.)  FCP came from such a tradition, and wanted me to upgrade my look.  But, I realized that it made more sense to be able to replace my wigs in the same way that women might try new hair styles and colors until they get one that works - then stick with it for a while.

Right now, I have 4 unworn wigs in my closet, and will be taking it out to replace the oldest wig that I now wear.  Hopefully, I will be able to get as much wear out of this wig as I have its predecessor.....

 

 

 

PS: One can feel the difference between an old and new wig.  And that's how I usually determine when to retire a wig.  So keep a new one around to compare the feel between old and new wigs.  When the old one starts feeling worn out, replace it.  You'll be glad you did.

Earrings and other jewelry

 

One of the things that women often take for granted is getting theirs pierced as a child or young adult.  It is so much easier to wear pierced earrings, and there is a greater availability of earrings for women with pierced ears.  So, I decided to finally get my ears pierced this past winter, in order to wear the above pierced earrings I had just bought on my Hawaii trip.

Now that my ears have been pierced, I have had occasional problems with the piercings.  The holes are not the easiest to find (which can be a good thing when seeing people who have no idea that I am TG), and this often frustrates me when attempting to wear dangling things such as the earrings in the picture. With a girlfriend who accepts my nature, I feel no guilt in getting ready to go out in front of her, as she wants me to look my best in either gender presentation.

Soon, I will start accumulating jewelry to fit every mood and situation.  For example, I love the idea of wearing pearls with a little black dress on a cruise's formal night.  Not all jewelry has to be expensive or formal.  Yet, the jewelry I buy has to be tasteful for a woman of my age.  Therefore, it has to be both simple and easily coordinated with what I'm wearing that day.  In the case of the above earrings and necklace (and pendant), I made sure that these items looked good with the dress I was wearing.

Unlike most women of my age, they have had decades to develop a feel for the jewelry that works best with their personality.  I'm lucky.  Since my fingers and wrists are too big to wear some of the jewelry given to my by my former cruise partner, I have been able to avoid many of the "loud" items that would draw attention to the non-feminine parts of my body.  In short, the jewelry I wear helps me blend in, not to stand out.

Given what I've said above, I am still surprised at how hard it is to see ear piercings when the piercings are not being used for jewelry.  A while back, I went to see my brother after taking my studs out, and he didn't notice a thing.  My fears of being noticed at the wrong time weren't fulfilled.  So, for any TG readers of this blog who are afraid of piercings, don't be.  Most people will ignore tiny studs in one's ears while the piercings heal, and will not notice those piercings when the studs are out.

The more I work on cleaning my place, the more it seems I need to do.

 

My apartment used to look something like this in the not so distant past.  However, when the pandemic struck, everything changed in my life.  One of those things was an incentive to keep things tolerably neat. Now, I'm trying to eliminate much of the clutter that has taken over this place.

- - - - - -

Right now, the space behind the loveseat is being used for storage.  However, it is a manageable accumulation of boxes stored in the least worthwhile area of the apartment.  And most of this will be moved into my storage compartment downstairs when I've cleaned that out.

My closets are showing more open space than I've had in years.  Yet, there is so much more pruning I have to do.  Ideally, I'll only need one tall dresser/chest and one closet to hold each of my masculine and feminine wardrobes.  But until then, I'll have to gradually build donation bags from clothing I haven't worn in a season or two.

When I started this cleanup process, it was a bit overwhelming.  There is light at the end of the tunnel - but it's so far away.  I figure that there is a lot more that I can get rid of before this place starts to feel like the home it was for me when I moved in here 40+ years ago.  But then, like many baby boomers, I thought that this would be a stepping stone purchase - I'd eventually own a house that could hold all of the stuff that I'd accumulate over the years.

- - - - - -

I guess that the same thought process goes for maintaining one's health as well.  One can not do everything all alone.  The impetus to finally to do the work on this apartment wouldn't have been there, had RQS not been in my life and been in the same position in life.  We work well together.  Years ago, my former cruise partner (FCP) wanted a diet and exercise buddy - something I wasn't prepared to do.  There was a certain desperation in communicating this need for a partner, and I knew I wasn't in a position to help her out.  She would eventually have Bariatric surgery, as well as skin reductions to make her body reflect who she wanted to be.  

So, this leads to the question: Who do I want to be?  To answer that takes a lot of hard work.  To welcome people into my life, I have to have a home worth visiting.  That involves apartment cleanup and some help.  Something similar is needed to get my body into shape.  Will I do anything as drastic as my former cruise partner?   No.  I saw how miserable she felt in the early days after her surgery, and I felt bad when I saw her binge eating afterward.  She dealt with the symptoms, and not the underlying problem.  I want to deal with both the underlying problem and its symptoms.

Over the years, I've learned that I need to be able to be out as Marian.  I would never have been happy if several of my previous romantic relationships got further than rolls in the hay.  I'll always be grateful to FCP for her help at the beginning of my journey.  Yet, to continue along this path, I had to go it alone.  Sadly, the way it happened was not a good thing.  But I'll bet that she's better off having been forced to open herself up to the world a little.

- - - - - -

In the end, I'll end up being the person I want most - who and whatever that person may be.

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

 

The full quote — “There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics” — has been attributed to Mark Twain, who himself attributed it to British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, who might never have said it in the first place.  In 2020's America, this phrase takes on even more meaning with the misinformation circulating in "conservative" information bubbles.  False information is being spread by certain "Newscasters" in order to keep pliable masses supporting people who don't give a damn about their welfare.

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Recently, I watched a YouTube video by Steve Shives featuring a political candidate who spoke the GOP's "quiet parts out loud."   Sadly, this fictional candidate's speech is too close to the truth for comfort.  For example, I was once "defriended" by a transgender woman who stated that New York's abortion law protected abortions up to and including the 9th month of pregnancy. There is a certain ignorance and suspension of reality in such a belief.  If a woman carries a fetus into the 9th month of pregnancy, she likely wants the baby to be born.  If there is an abortion, it is likely to be to save the life of the mother.  The same type of misinformation was said when the GOP bashed Obamacare - most people kept doing to their doctors of choice, and it reduced costs for the states that expanded Medicaid. Worst of all was our 45th president claiming that "secret evidence" proved that he won the election. People died in the January 6th 2021 assault on the Capitol building because of this man's lies, and yet, he still walks free.

The "Religious Right" has lost many of the cultural battles it has fought recently, and they are now focusing on Transgender people as convenient targets.  How does it hurt people to amend birth certificates when Gender Corrective Surgery is performed?  Yet, in some states, this change is banned, leaving many transgender people in a state of legal limbo.  What about transgender medical care, preventing TG youth from having an incorrect puberty?  Does this hurt the larger society?  Even going to the restroom can be a problem, as many states have passed "Bathroom Bills" which restrict people to use only those restrooms associated with the gender people were associated with at birth.  Being transgender, I can't risk seeing friends in Texas because of laws like this.

We must be on the alert when false information is being spread about us.  Even if we are in stealth mode, we must always speak out against the lies spread by our enemies.  Although it is a small segment of America which is out to attack us, it holds disproportionate influence over one of our two major political parties.  We can't let that one party win while radicals hold control of that party, as it is an existential threat to us.

Truth doesn't always win out.  People who believe in the truth must fight lies whenever their seed reaches fertile ground.  Take on the fight, and fight hard - our lives depend on it!

 

 

Swedish death cleaning - American Style

 

Have you ever looked at a messy apartment and congratulated yourself for getting rid of a lot of the clutter? That's how I felt yesterday after a closet clean out session.  In addition to rationalizing what I'm keeping in the closet, I have given it greater organization for future storage.  

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Some of the things I found in the closet were tools needed for painting and for bathroom tile work. Although I will likely hire out most of the future work of this ilk, it pays for me to keep some of these tools around - just in case.  Next, I found 12 bottles of distilled spirits, all of which I intend to give away over time.  The bottles are properly sealed, and will likely have retained their alcohol content after 30 years. Then, I found enough clothing to fill 2 large donation bags - which went to the donation center today. What I found most interesting is the amount of makeup supplies that I've been keeping in reserve for future use. I never realized how much stuff I bought planning to use, and then stored away as my makeup needs changed.

I will soon need to clean out my storage compartment, so that I can make room for things I don't need in this apartment on a regular basis.  For example, I want to rotating out-of-season clothing between the apartment and the storage apartment, so that the apartment (and its closets) doesn't feel cramped anymore.  Part of this cleanup will be the disposal of a 600+ Vinyl LP collection  I don't play these albums anymore, and I want to see them go where someone might enjoy them.

In both the apartment and the storage compartment, I have some cut glass decanters which have never been used.  I know that 2 of these decanters in the apartment were wedding presents, but I'm not sure of the others that are in the storage compartment.  There will be a tinge of sadness when I get rid of these items, as I will be feeling sad for hopes that died with my wife.  The decanters are among many items I have which provide connections to my late wife, and going through all the clutter has stirred up both memories and feelings.  The more "valuable" things were when my wife was alive, the more feelings I will need to deal with as I dispose of those things.

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Given where things are now, I'm starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.  There's a part of me that wonders what my late wife would be doing had I been the one to pass away.  But I'll never have answers to those questions.  All I can do is move forward, so that I have a place that I can be proud to have guests in again.

Cleaning out a closet - not much to say about today.

 

I'm not much of a believer in the principles of Feng Shui.  But I agree with this post, that having a messy apartment, as well as messy closets are bad for someone's health.  Excessive clutter reflects problems that a person has and must be dealt with.  Today, RQS and I attacked the closet in my hallway.

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RQS has been at my place from Friday to Wednesday, and on two of those days, it was too hot to do anything outside.  So, after a mild amount of prodding, I shifted our cleanup focus from making the bedroom neater to attacking the mess in the closet.  By the time we were done, we had 4 large bags to be donated to charity, as well as some garbage bags for the dumpster.

By the time we were done with the closet, it was too late to go out.  (This would have been a day spent as Marian if we had gone out.  But I digress.)  There wasn't much to do, now that Labor day festivities ended.  So we stayed in our jammies and watched a couple of movies and some old reruns. 

Although RQS has to go home to take care of some things, she'll be back this weekend.  Hopefully, we'll again find some inexpensive lobster to boil, and we can have another feast while the crustaceans are in season.  Until then, I'll get back to paying my bills and doing laundry, so that RQS can feel comfortable when she returns.

How can I get rid of bulky items?

 

After a decade of forced retirement, I've decided to replace much of the furniture in my apartment.  For example, my sofa is worn out and will be replaced soon.  I have three chests in the bedroom that I plan to replace with two new ones sometime in the next couple of years, and I will likely replace the entertainment center, coffee table and end tables in the living room as well. 

But to do this, I must figure out how to get rid of the bulky furniture.  I have several options for getting rid of the sofa, and none of them are that great, as they will cost me money.  The coffee and end tables can be taken apart for disposal.  Even the chests in the bedroom can be slid down the stairs and "walked" to the dumpster area for bulk pick up.  But the entertainment center poses a problem.  It weighs 450 pounds when empty. and it took 3 people to get it into my apartment.  I will need help getting it out of the apartment, and will likely need to pay a good price to remove it.

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With the above being said, there is another headache I have to deal with - annoying salespeople.  For the most part, I've found people working at furniture stores as of late to be too close to used car salesmen for comfort. All of them tend to hover around, not giving the customer enough breathing room to examine the merchandise in peace.  If you give them ANY information, they will being up the various financing terms, as well as how good their delivery process is.  But, not all of them know their product well, as was the case of one sales person we met about a month ago.  

On a hot day in July, we decided to cross the river and look at some furniture.  Entering the store, we met a fellow from the Indian subcontinent who proceeded to follow us around the store, wherever we wanted to browse.  Shortly after we mentioned what we were looking for, but after a few minutes of browsing, he tried to find an opening to sell us a mattress.  (I need a new one too, but I'm planning on going to Saatva for one designed for fat people like me. But I digress.)  When we sat on an expensive leather covered sofa, he extolled the virtues of the sofa and its construction, not knowing that we knew of another sofa made by the same people with the same frame.  He stated that this was the only one of its kind, not knowing that we knew otherwise.  He was very insistent in trying to make a sale that day, but I brushed him off.  But this wasn't the end of him.

About a week later, I got a call from the salesman.  He sounded upset that I didn't call him back to finalize a sale.  Luckily, the answering machine took the call.  In a later conversation with RQS, I stated why he wasn't going to get the sale.  First, all my credit cards are in Mario's name and I met this man in Marian mode.  But, more important, was the fact that he didn't know his merchandise well enough. We had met a second salesman, this time with me in Mario mode, and he knew his stuff.  This is the person who will get the sale when I'm ready to drop the hammer.  Again, I digress.  This morning, the first salesman woke us up, hoping that we'd answer the land line to set a date for another appointment to close the deal.  Obviously, this won't happen anytime soon....

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The question remains...

How will I end up getting rid of the old sofa?

A Trump supporter posted a reply on Mario's Facebook page.

 

The other day, I posted an image similar to this with the phrase:

Lock him up!
Lock him up!
Lock him up!

And she responded, replying that Biden should be the one locked up.  Regardless of how one feels about Trump and Biden, I am disgusted by both parties' inability to discipline troublesome members when they break the law. I was one who said that Bill Clinton should have been impeached for committing perjury in regard to having sex with Monica Lewinsky.  I was also in favor of going after Bush #43 for unwarranted searches (actually, unwarranted, secret wiretaps) after 9/11.  Yet, I would have given him a hall pass on that if Congress had given him an express OK.  So when the GOP refused to discipline Trump, I was appalled.

Being a member of the LGBT community, I feel at risk by the laws being passed in our most conservative states.  The radical right would rather us not exist, and wants to deny us the medical treatment we need when it is called for, as well as denying us our basic civil rights.  Trump gave the radical right a hall pass to pass laws that would disenfranchise us in exchange for them looking the other way while he cut deals with unsavory characters and with foreign powers.  

The radical right wants to use our existence as if it were a waving red cape at a bull in a bullfight.  To preserve their power, the right's leaders are making us their focus of hatred.  Considering that my acquaintance likely uses Fox "News" as her only news source, I can't help but believe that a reasonably sane person can be corrupted by a steady diet of misinformation that reinforces her existing beliefs.  

I don't believe that our current president is guilty of a crime.  However, I do believe that the son is guilty of a crime for which he had a plea bargain deal, and should have been allowed to cop the plea.  Instead, we will have a trial where justice is not served.  The verdict passed on the son may (or may not) be just, and the trial will be used by the political right to smear our president.  So I closed out the conversational thread by saying that if there is evidence, the father should be tainted.  But if not, the political right should stop stirring up the base with falsehoods.

It saddens me that we no longer have the "fairness doctrine" to preserve objectivity in news reporting.  If this were in effect today, we wouldn't have a nation as polarized as we are now.

A day trip to Albany

 

The above picture of the Albany, NY Government Mall is a good example of why cellphone cameras will never completely replace the traditional camera - the compromises in lenses used in cellphones tend to result in image distortion that cannot be corrected.   

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Today, RQS and I decided to take a drive to Albany to visit the New York State Museum for a change of pace.  She had heard that some Berenice Abbott pictures were on display, and this was the perfect day to drive North and see them.  So, we started the day with a filling breakfast, and started our trip North. The drive was uneventful, save for my GI Tract issues.  (I won't go into any detail here, save that it delayed our arrival at the museum.)  Even at 80+ mph (people tend to have lead feet on the NYS Thruway), it felt like a leisurely drive.

Arriving at 3:30, we had 90 minutes to explore the museum, and we focused on the modern history of the state.  Of course, there was the now permanent exhibit for 9/11.  But we focused on finding the Abbott pictures - and were underwhelmed when we finally saw them.  Too few were on display to have made this trip worth it for the pictures alone.  Yet, the trip was worth it for the permanent exhibitions which included the contents of a Chinatown store, a barber shop, an early 20th century school room, and more.  Unfortunately, we missed going to the Carousel on the 4th floor, as it shuts down an hour before closing.

All too soon, we had to leave the museum for home   Next time, we'll get there a bit earlier, so that we could have a longer visit and see the whole museum.

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One thing of note: The museum had an exhibit of olden wedding dresses.  If I were to get married again, I want to be the one wearing the dress this time....