I dilly dallied, and it saved me money!

 

RQS and I have visited the furniture store several times, and we've seen them selling the above sofa in the store for $2,699.  If I had bought it then, I'd  have had a net cost of roughly $3,500 after furniture delivery (and removal) charges, furniture protection add-on, and taxes.  Today, I saw the following information on the store's website for the sofa:

The $780 savings by buying now also result in an approximate $60 savings in sales taxes.  It's probably best that I drop the hammer on this sofa now than later.  However, this will likely force me to be in Mario mode one day this weekend - and I hate doing so.  But to save this kind of money, why not?  However, I now have to arrange the removal of my old sofa and the delivery of my new sofa within a 2 week period.  AARGH!  I hate deadlines, but it is something I have to deal with if I want to be sure that I can get this deal.

- - - - - -

Dilly-Dallying doesn't always save me money, but that's OK.  I've been seeing a car in my price range at a dealership 2 hours away from me.  It's almost too good to be true.  Will I jump on making a deal?  No.  I may visit and ask about the car.  But if they aren't interested in selling the car at the advertised price (without excessive markup), then the car will go to someone else.

TCL says that I am a little too frugal.  But I am careful, as I can't afford to waste funds I can't make up by earning a salary anymore.  So, it will be a hard decision for me when I finally drop the hammer and buy a new car.  At least, I'll have the money in my bank until I'm ready to spend it....

Due to possible flooding, RQS comes up tomorrow.

 

Today, the rain screwed up a lot of things.  One of them was RQS's weekend trip to see me.  But it was better to be safe than sorry, and the more I found out, the wiser that postponing RQS's visit would become.

- - - - - -

The weathermen were warning people last night of heavy rain that would be coming this morning.  Little did I know how true this would be.

There were more comments on other public forums, noting highway closures throughout Westchester county.  It was not a good day to go out, and I think that the two of us did the smart thing by waiting a day to get together again.

Two meals out, and I feel bloated!

 

Lately, I haven't had much energy to do much of anything.  But when it comes to meeting people, I find the energy, as being with friendly folk is very important to me.  Today was a day where I might have overdone things a little....

- - - - - -

Last night, I received a text from my friend SJM asking if I could change out lunch from Friday to today.  And I said, "Yes," as I had nothing else planned for the daytime.  But I did have a meetup scheduled for the evening, and I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go.  So, I set my alarms to wake me up, and I got to the restaurant before her.

SJM and I discussed many things, my travels being one of them.  And then she discussed the details of her life, with some good news - her husband's gradual recovery from a health ailment AND a therapy program that he wants to go to.  He is finally optimistic about his life, and she will move heaven and earth to give him the chance to again live a normal life.

All too soon, lunch had to end, and I drove up to the Poughkeepsie Lane Bryant to see the costume jewelry they had in the store.  Unfortunately, nothing interested me.  So I drove home, with a quick stop at Walmart.  Arriving at home, I took a quick nap.  Then I realized that I'd be running late for the evening meetup at The Melting Pot in White Plains.  I texted the organizer to say I was going to be late, and got in the car.

30 minutes later, I was in White Plains, and in the restaurant before 7:00.  I didn't hold up dinner.  We sat down at the table and chose a pair of fondue dips for our veggies, and then had a good conversation while waiting for our food to arrive.  Not having fondue before, I was game to try it.  But it is not something I'll go out of the way for again.  I prefer to go to the meetup for human company, and not for novel food.

Just before 9:00, we left the place, and I drove home.  It was a nice day out as Marian, and something I haven't been doing enough of lately.

Maybe I watch too much political news?

 

Considering what many loyal Trump followers believe about what is being reported by the mainstream media, one wonders how the fictional Ted Baxter could be considered an idiot - when these people get their "news" from an outlet (Fox News) whose viewers test as knowing less than if they didn't watch any news at all.

Last night, as I write this, a New York judge ruled that the Trump Organization's finances were fraudulent, and that this fact need not be tested before a jury.  So, what does this mean fr the rest of us?  If one watches the "liberal" news outlets, this is painted as Trump finally getting his comeuppance in business.  By distorting financial information, he has defrauded both the state, his banks, and the public.  If one watches the right wing news outlets, this is painted as our ex-president being attacked by the "deep state."  What I see is that a cult leader's corruption is being exposed to the public, and that its followers are fighting the cognitive dissonance that occurs when one truth competes with another in their minds.

Trump, simply, is a two-bit grifter who got lucky for a while.  If it weren't for "The Apprentice" show, he would never have been portrayed as a successful businessman on TV.  All of these shows followed a loose script, with Trump making judgements on whether someone succeeded or failed, usually ending one contestant's run with the phrase: "You're Fired!"  If an uneducated person were to see this show, s/he might think that he is the model of a successful businessman, and someone who could run a country if given the chance.

Think of the phrase: "I, alone, can fix it."  His loyal followers never will ask the simple question: "Did he do it, alone or not?"  They see others getting in his way, and blame his (and their) failures on his opponents.  The rest of us know he's unfit even to work as a carny.  But the Dunning-Kruger effect has kicked in.  Those who know the least about a subject will think they know much more than they do about that subject.  They will follow people who shout loud and project confidence, not people who speak softly and know how much there is yet to know about things.  This is simple, but a sad part of our human nature.

Why am I worried?

Right now, Trump is ahead of Biden in preliminary polling.  If Trump regains the presidency, we will again see political chaos, and the erosion of human rights.  As a transgender person, I fear what forces he will unleash to cement his hold on power.  But what happens if Trump is convicted in one of his criminal cases, and is unable to serve?  Virtually all other GOP candidates are likely to win against Biden.  Bailing out for the good of the Democratic party's chance of winning the 2024 election may not be on Biden's radar right now.

I fear a competent GOP leader in the White House, as s/he would be beholding to many of the same people who supported Trump.  But being competent, this person may do much worse than Trump ever could do.  Unlike Trump, this person knows that s/he alone can't do it.  But s/he with others can do it.  And we already know that they want to do to us transgender people....

 

I saw an old flame tonight

No, I did not even think of reigniting the flame.  Patty is a pleasant memory, and we retained our friendship after we broke up.  And now, when I meet her, it is in Marian mode for two reasons:

• I don't want to reawaken things by presenting as a male.
• I am more comfortable meeting women in female mode, so that there is no hint of sexual interest.

Patty is comfortable with this.  And yet, I was thinking of warning her that I was going to be wearing a dress when I went to City Island to see her.  Go figure.

- - - - - -

Before we got together, Patty texted me to let me know that there was an unexpected death in her family, so that she wouldn't have to talk about it in any detail.  Yet, that was one of the first things we talked about, because she needed to tell me about it.  And then, we started catching up on what's been going on in each other's lives.

Patty grew up in a close knit family, and anything that would unravel that fabric has to hurt a bit.  This death, coupled with a family issue which I won't go into here may make things unable to be mended between Patty and a family member.  I feel sorry for her, as I think she's already read the tea leaves and sees the last chance to heal some old wounds go away.

Dinner was a little bit more expensive than I had planned.  But I had the cash ready and available tor a bill that was higher than expected.  (Moral: Don't eat the broiled fisherman's platter when a simple piece of fish will do.)  At least, I was filled to the gills, so to speak....

- - - - - -

All too soon, we had to leave.  But I suggested that we try to arrange a foursome for dinner next month, with me presenting as Mario.  Hopefully, that will happen....

I got some things done this weekend.

 

Every time RQS comes up here, we spend a little time cleaning out the clutter in my apartment.  This weekend was the first time we attacked my downstairs storage compartment, and we got a lot done in less than an hour.  From not being able to make it in to the compartment, we made a path which allowed me to reach the back shelf of the compartment. This may not mean that much to some, but I have over 600 vinyl LPs in the compartment that I want to get rid of, and I have someone willing to buy them when I'm ready.  All I have to do is make a path, so that I can get all of the vinyl out of the compartment and into the record dealer's truck.

To say that my record collection reflects a sometimes eclectic taste is putting it mildly.  I have a CD of music which was played as the Titanic sank (not original, of course), Ernie Kovacs' music collection played on his TV show (including Solfeggio, or the theme for the Nairobi Trio), Orson Welles' recording of the Begatting of the President (about Nixon's election in 1968), Glenn Miller movie music, Gershwin's piano roll recording of Rhapsody in Blue, Carl Stalling's sound effects and music for Looney Tunes cartoons, and others too numerous to mention.  For all I know, I might be sitting on a gold mine.  But I doubt it very much.  My vinyl collection is in very good condition, and I hope it beings me enough money to pay for a long weekend away from home.

There are some things I plan to transfer from vinyl to digital storage.  For example, I have an alternate version of Jim Croce's "Age" which has never been released on CD.  Other vinyl recordings may be treated the same way - transferred to digital first, then disposed of.  But I intend to find out about a pressing of John Lennon's "Imagine" album that has two stampings of one side, and never should have gotten out of the factory.

So much cleanup to do, and so little energy at one time to do it....

Keeping up with the laundry is so hard to do

 

Last night, I did two loads of laundry. What shouldn't surprise me anymore is that most of the clothing I was laundering was that of the female gender.  Yet, it does at times, as I find myself doing more and more things in my female presentation.  

With the above being said, I was surprised not about the contents of my laundry basket.  Instead, it was the surprise that I found another two loads more to do, and may have a third in a short while.  Given my age, I am fortunate that I can make it up and down the staircase to the laundry room three times (or more) when laundering my clothes.

- - - - - -

Unlike many cisgender males, this transgender woman prefers to do my own chores, albeit in a simplified masculine way.  This means that I look for garments that are able to be washed in warm water, even though they may be dried on a hanger or rack.  Yes, I have my delicates.  But they are few, and washed more carefully than my other garments.  I am the same way about dishes in the sink.  I wait until I have enough to spend a few minutes with my hands in hot and soapy water.  I am not in a rush to use my dishwasher, but when I do, everything is in its place.

In short, this transgender gal is a result of her masculine upbringing.  The little tasks that cisgender women are trained to do from girlhood are not tasks which I am good at.  Instead, I do "just enough" to keep things from falling apart.  In that way, I am very much like my father. I could have done worse than to have had him for a role model.

- - - - - -

Many women of my age say that a good number of men that they meet are looking for "a nurse and a purse."  One noted that a man she met was looking for another wife in the "June Cleaver" mold - someone you screw on the bed to get the housework done.  Luckily, I am not that kind of person.  All I ask for is a little bit of encouragement for me to get my needed things done, and I will do the same for her.  Thankfully, I have that in RQS. 

Another Mystery Box Opportunity (and it may be the last....)

 

Do I believe that this will be the last Mystery Box sale by Universal Standard?  Maybe.  But I'm not as happy with what I've seen at Universal lately, and I'm not sure if I'm going to drop some coin on this sale. Both RQS and I have been disappointed by what we've seen in their sample sales, and I ended up buying something I could use - but not in a color scheme that I wanted.

I am not completely immune from temptation.  Vicki gave me information on one of her favorite clothing outlets having a tent sale this weekend.  Only one problem - I would have had to drive 3.5 hours to get there this weekend.  If RQS and I were going to Howe Caverns, I'd have made this a side trip.  But, without the caverns on our weekend calendar, it doesn't make sense to drive 200 miles to save a few dollars on a brand I have never worn before.

If Universal puts out more mystery boxes that capture my interest in this "final" sale, I may end up adding more dresses to my wardrobe.  But it is more likely I will not do so.

Lunch with a friend, and a lost credit card.

 

I really didn't think I'd want to get up this morning, so I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving in time for lunch.  Each month, a friend of mine from the census gets together with me and we have lunch at a nearby restaurant.  Today was no different, save that I was a little bit "off".

Considering that it was finally too cool for me to wear my summer dresses.  So I had to pull out something a little bit warmer to wear - a long sleeved blue dress with matching blue tights.  Although it's been forever since I put on a pair of tights, I felt comfortable, knowing that my "junk" was safely tucked and would stay in place during the meal.  (Soon, I will be wearing my Fall/Winter wardrobe exclusively, and I will miss the comfort of my Summer wardrobe.  But I digress.)  Once dressed, I was out the door, and at the restaurant only a few minutes late.

Not seeing my friend's car, I knew to walk into the place and look for my friend - who was sitting by the front door.  However, we ended up moving from our original table, as it was too loud where we were.  So we took our napkins, utensils, and menus and proceeded to the back.  And this was much more comfortable than where we were first seated, making it much easier to chat without a lot of the noise being made up front.  For the most part, our chat was mostly about the trips we took and the trips we were about to take. So, I won't mention much here.  But I was uncomfortable, as I felt "off" from the time I got up.  As a result, I was glad when 2:30 came around, and we bid each other farewell.

With lunch being done, it was time to fill my car with gas.  And this is where I noticed that my Exxon card was missing.  Normally, I keep it with my cell phone, so that I can use it in either gender presentation.  But it was gone.  So I proceeded to the BP station in town and filled up there.  From there, I went home and filed a missing card report.  Dollars to donuts I'll find the old card before its' replacement comes in....

My checking account shrinketh...

 

Like many retirees, I am draining both my savings accounts and my checking accounts.  I made the decision to do this when I quit the job I had at the imaging firm.  As much as it pains me to see my balances go down, I know that this annoyance will end soon - when Social Security payments kick in.

- - - - - -

Unlike many people, I am lucky to have a pension, a reasonably sized social security payment (as of January), and a 401K which I have only touched once.  Managed properly, in an age of low inflation, I am reasonably set for life - as long as I stay tolerably healthy.  And I will be trying to stay tolerably healthy for as long as I can do so.

But what does this all mean?

In order to stay healthy, I will need to lose weight and become more active.  The older I get, the harder this is to do. There is a benefit to this - I will be able to refresh my wardrobe from more sites that I can now choose from.  It'll be much easier to buy nice clothes when I'm a size-22w than now, when I am a size-28w. 

- - - - - -

And now, back to checks....

I rarely write checks these days, save for those recipients to whom I don't want to make electronic money transfers.  When I was gainfully employed, I worked on machines which would process over 2mm checks per day, items moving through check sorters at 20 mph.  Now, if a bank receives a check, it is captured where it is received, and digital copies of the check are electronically exchanged between banks.  Check volume is only a small fraction of what it once was, and that is a good thing.  Yet, I miss the old way of doing things.  It was tactile (in some ways) and physical.  Today's method of moving money may be more secure, but it is too easy to lose track of where one's money is going.

Would I switch back to paper checks for most of my bills?  No.  Even I respect today's reality and accept change for the benefits it provides.  But I do miss the days when I was paid very well for a business model which is mostly obsolete now.

I just ordered a new dress. (Now to find one to donate....)

 

The other day, I saw this dress on the One Stop Plus / Catherine's site.  Before I decided to buy it, I consulted with RQS, as I will be wearing (sometimes) it when we go out together.  However, I won't be sure if I like the dress until I see it on me.  This is one reason why I wish Catherine's still had its retail stores.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I have learned how to dress as a woman by buying many things that didn't work that well on my figure.  Most of those garments have been donated to charity, with more to come as I clean out my closets and drawers.  I have found that long tunics and leggings work best for me in casual mode (when I'm not wearing a dress), but there are some blouse/trouser combinations that work for me as well.

My rule of thumb is to donate one article of clothing for every one I buy.  Last night, I decided to get dressed (in female presentation) and drive to Wegman's for a grocery run. However, I couldn't find the lightweight duster I would wear over my unitard. So, I wore a shirt dress from a Universal Standard mystery box for the first time.  Just as I was about to turn into the store's parking lot, I discovered that I left my wallet at home.  As a result, I didn't bother stopping to pick up food, and proceeded to go back home slowly and on side roads.

This morning, I was too tired to do much of anything, and didn't bother getting showered until mid-evening.Before I left, I found the duster I was looking for last night, and put it aside for the next time I wear the unitard. So, I moved my ID and money back to Mario's wallet and made my drive to White Plains.  $88.00 later, I was on my way back home with most of the things I was looking for, and a couple of things that were unplanned purchases.

- - - - - -

During the ride home, I touched base with RQS at our usual time.  Something must have been wrong with one of our phones or the phone network, as her voice was coming in muddy - even after a couple of tries to get a clear signal. Luckily, neither of us had that much to say to each other, and we will catch up with each other at the "Same Bat Time and Same Bat Channel."

Are we ready for Electric Cars? Not Yet!

 

The above 3 pictures illustrate why America is far from ready for electric cars.  The owner of this Nissan Leaf had to string an extension cord from inside his corner apartment in Queens, NYC to a special charging cable, then use a protector for the cable as it crossed the sidewalk to finally reach the charging port in the car.  If the questionably legal space near the owner's apartment not been available, the owner would not have been able to charge this car, as there were no charging stations nearby.  In this community, electric cars are far from ready for prime time.

Why do I mention this today?

Lately, the big automakers are starting to push electric cars.  Yet, most of us are in charging station deserts. There is a big disconnect between reality and the hype.  Without a big change, we are going to get screwed big time by the changeover to electric vehicles.

- - - - - -

Do I support electrification of the transportation network?  Yes.  But we can't achieve this by 2035, as California and New York have mandated in law.  Our transportation needs alone are part of the problem, as we live in densely packed cities, sprawling suburbs, and distant rural areas.  Although frequent and convenient mass transit might solve the transportation problems in the cities, it does not solve the problem for the suburbs and rural areas.  To solve the needs of the suburbs, we would need upgrades to the electric grid, many thousands more charging stations, and quicker charging cars - to name a few things. And to solve the needs of the rural areas, we might need larger batteries with more storage than available now.  Yet, our driving habits would also need to change, as many Americans (like me) still are in love with the road trip.

The transition from horse and carriage to the fossil fueled vehicle did not happen overnight.  Nor was this a complete transition, as we have electric powered mass transit in many cities.  Like biological evolution, we will likely see "obsolete" structures continue in niches, such as the horse drawn carriages in Central Park. 

- - - - - -

Will we see the end of the gas powered car?  Probably not in our lifetime.  Many of us find it time and cost effective to drive our own cars for round trips under 300 miles, especially when driving between cities/suburbs and rural areas.  For example, for me to see my brother in another NYC suburban community, I can drive to his house much easier and quicker than I could get there via mass transit.  (Yes, it's much easier for me now, given that LIRR East Side Access is available.  But it doesn't deal with about a mile and a half of walking between my apartment and the bus, the bus and the MNRR train station, from Grand Central (MNRR) and Grand Central Madison (LIRR), and from my brother's LIRR train station and his house.)  Given that the further one lives from dense cities that mass transit becomes impractical, the more likely is is that one will need a car for medium to long distance trips.  And electric cars are not ready for this task, nor will they be ready in the next few years.

- - - - - -

So, where does this leave us?

Government is rushing ahead with unrealistic deadlines that can't be met. There is no urgent priority to make this transition, like the priority we had in secret for the Manhattan Project. The public is resisting, both with ethical behaviors (such as NOT buying electric cars) and unethical behaviors (such as blocking the few electric charging stations available for these cars).  But the message is clear - we are not yet ready for this transition, and won't be when the government has mandated it takes place.  

So, how can we change this?

We need something similar to a "Marshall Plan" to build up the electricity infrastructure to support the  future transportation needs of our society.  We need more energy, delivered over more power lines, and stored at more charging stations.  We need cars that can be fully charged in 5 minutes, that have a range of 300+ miles, and cost less than gas cars to own and run.  Without this, we will have a transportation nightmare within a decade.

I am not saying what we have to do as individuals.  But I am saying that we need to be skeptical of the promises made by big government and big business, as they do not yet reflect reality.

How does one change a lifetime of bad habits?

 

Over the past week, I came to realize that I have to change one of my habits - and fast.  I love to eat, but my choices in what I eat are sub-optimal at best.

Although I won't go into details, I found that I have all the symptoms of something serious.  Yet, my doctor never asked me any questions in regard to me having these symptoms.  This makes me uncomfortable in how he manages his patients.  But I am also responsible for this, so I won't blame things on him for my own irresponsibility.

Can things be reversed?  For the most part, yes.  But only if I lose weight by changing my diet and getting more exercise.  Hopefully, I'll be able to do this.

Any ideas on how to slowly make the changes I need, so that I won't fall back into old habits?

Sad News, with more to come (eventually)

 

Today's post will be a short one.  But it involves sadness caused by a situation that I have no control over, and frustration because I have limited access to information.

As I have mentioned before, both my aunt and uncle are in nursing homes for the ailments of old age.  When RQS and I were in Los Angeles earlier this year, we were not able to see my uncle, as he was just told that he'd never be leaving the nursing home due to his frailness.  Today, I finally heard from my uncle, and he is in a bad way.

Last year, my uncle fell and broke his hips.  From what I can understand, he is not a candidate for hip replacement surgery.  All they could do is patch him up.  He has been in the nursing home since then.  When I spoke to him in December, he still had the voice of a man who would resume his life as soon as he was certified able to do so.  Of course, this time never came.  In June, I talked with him for 5 minutes, and he still had a tolerably strong voice.  But it was one weakened by circumstance.  Tonight, he could barely hear me on the phone, and his voice sounded like someone with no interest left in living.

He is depressed, in part, because he has no children, and because his nearest relatives live a continent away.  Neither my brother nor I can hop in a car to see him.  If we were to visit, he'd have to hop on a plane, spend at least one night in LA, and then fly home after the visit.  This is why I scheduled a California Coastal Cruise for this past June.  If he was unable to see us, we'd still have a great time on the left coast.

After our too short phone call, I called my brother to report on things.  My brother gave me another tidbit of information which I did not have.  And I asked him to relay my concerns to my uncle's agent, as I do not have the agent's name, nor do I want to be the point of contact for information regarding my uncle's affairs.  (Also, I feel that my brother knows more than he lets on, and doesn't trust me with anything.  But that's another story for another day.)  Hopefully, I'll get more information soon.  But I know that in the long term, it will only be bad news.  And I feel sad about things that eventually must come.

Black / Jew Love (don't blame me, that's what THEY called it.)

 

The other night, RQS and I went to see a one person performance (When Your Soulmate Dies) in an Off-Off-Broadway theater.  As I was led to believe, it was going to be the story of a widower talking about the loss of his wife.  But it was much, much more than that.  It was the performer's way of getting people to open their eyes and see of the injustices in our culture that we take for granted.  And it succeeded in (1) Bringing the audience to laugh until we cried, (2) Lifting the veil off many people's misconceptions of white and male privilege in our society, and (3) Making me wish I had gotten the chance to meet a woman whose life ended way too soon.

- - - - - -

Instead of telling their life story out of sequence (as performed), I will boil the two hours spent here into several (all too short) phrases:

• White Man meets Black Woman at work.
• The couple have a successful marriage.
• The couple develops a very funny Husband/Wife comedy act, but our culture prevents it from hitting the big time. (You'll have to hear his explanation for yourself.  I agree with him,)
• The wife is diagnosed with kidney failure, cancer and Covid-19 during the pandemic.
• The husband sees how the culture victimizes women and people of color in themedical establishment.
• The husband uses his "act" as a catharsis to help him heal

Am I doing him or his performance justice?  Not in a long shot!  Hopefully, you'll go to the Alchemical Theater at 50 West 17th street (12th Floor) in NYC (Saturday Nights at 7:30) and see for yourself.

PS: RQS gave him Permission to Cum.  (You'll have to see him to understand that.)

 

 

Look Ma, No Cavities!

Although I don't have too much to talk about today, I must mention my visit to the dentist.  Scheduling teeth cleanings 3x/year continues to work for me, and I try to maintain this frequency as best as possible.  This visit was a month overdue, but wasn't as bad as expected.  

- - - - - -

Unlike my Internist, I visit my Dentist in female presentation.  God knows what my dentist and dental hygienist think of me, but I am always treated with respect when I go there.  Today was no different than usual.  However, there was one thing of note that I found mildly interesting....

Both times I had the opportunity to sit in the reception area, I encountered a lady waiting for her husband's dental work to be completed.  She complimented me on my dress, but I was unable to return a compliment for anything about her.  (She looked like life had beaten her up, and she came out the worse for wear.)  When she started talking about her life, she disclosed that her first husband was a drug addict, a convicted thief, and a wife beater.  And there was more that I can't recall.  Needless to say, she did the right thing in leaving this man, as she may not have lived to tell me the tale.  Add to this, she had spent some time in government custody - but only for a couple of misdemeanors.  Luckily for her, she met her current husband 14 years ago, and he finally made her "an honest woman" two weeks ago.

- - - - - -

Once done with the dentist, I took care of a couple things around the house, then took a nap.  Shortly after 6 pm, I got ready for game night and proceeded to Dunkin Donuts for some Munchkins as my contribution to the "party".  Unfortunately, somewhere between the Donut shop and my car, I lost one of the earrings that I was given by the host & hostess of game night, and that saddened me a bit.

Game night itself was inconsequential, with me losing both of the games I played.  Such is life.  I'm just glad I don't have to count on my game playing skills to make a living....

My late wife and I had a lot in common.

 

After my wife passed, and before I met RQS, I often felt that there would be no one who could fit well into my life.  In retrospect, it is obvious why several exes and I couldn't make things work.  Add my transgender nature to the normal complications of life, and I felt that it would be a fluke to find a woman who felt comfortable with my full and authentic self.  I felt like the woman pictured above - alone, but hopeful.

Yet, after a few conversations I've had lately, including a recent one with TCL, I started thinking of one of my wife's habits.  She was a clothes horse who never pruned her wardrobe.  I, too, am a clothes horse, but one who is pruning her wardrobe.  And some of the pruning efforts have shown me that in my haste, I might get rid of things I really wanted to keep.  To give the pruning process too much thought can result in paralysis - something I've experienced when the contents of my apartment reached a critical mass.

A while back, XGFJ helped me get some order in the corners of my bedroom.  This order was lost during the pandemic.  Lately, RQS has helped me go through the clothing I accumulated and quite a few donation bags have been delivered to a local charity.  Yet, when I look at my closet, I am still finding clothes which are eligible for the next donation bag.

I'll bet that my late wife would be laughing if she could see me today.  She had clothes hanging from the molding over the doors and closets, and I have done the same thing on occasion.  Like her, I accumulated way too much, and couldn't muster enough energy to get rid of the things I no longer need, want or use.  Unlike her, I've had assistance in getting this place into order.

Would she have felt comfortable with me wearing dresses outside the house?  I'll never have the answer to that question.  Would she be comfortable living with someone who was "out"?  Again, I'll never know.  But I do know that she coped with life the best way she could, and wasn't able to reach out for the help she needed when she needed it.  Hopefully, as I get older, I'll know where to find help and be able to get it when needed....

Another day without leaving the apartment.

The other day, I went to my doctor and my blood pressure had spiked a bit.  One of the things he told me to do was to take and record my blood pressure readings on a daily basis and have him see it when I see him next.  So, when Amazon delivered my blood pressure monitor, I had to try it out to find out whether my blood pressure was under control or not.  And after 4 readings throughout, I consistently got numbers that said that the medicines I take were working.  So I'll have something to say to my doctor when I see him next month.

But this was one of many little things that made up my day....

Given how dreary the weather was expected to be, I figured that this would be a good time for a Jammie Day.  And I stayed in my PJ's and relaxed.  One of the things I wanted to do was find a duster that I could use as a dress like garment worn over a unitard.  Unfortunately, I might have given this away in one of my donation bags.  If so, I will need to look for another garment I can use in its place - but it won't be as pretty.

Late in the evening, I received a long awaited phone call from my ex-GF Patty.  We've maintained a friendship over the years since we broke up, and I think that her husband is a great fellow.  The phone call came just before I was scheduled to call RQS, so I texted RQS to tell her what's up, and that I'd call her immediately after finishing things with Patty.  Patty has had a very busy summer, and hasn't been able to keep up with her correspondence.  So, Patty apologized for not getting back to me sooner, explaining that the house that she lives in is being sold.  Luckily, she doesn't have to move, although her rent may change.  We caught up with the other details of what's been going on in our lives, and agreed to try and get together again sometime soon.

Next, it was my delayed phone call with RQS and I told her about Patty and her apartment.  We caught up on our daily events, and called it an early night.  Knowing me, I'll have trouble sleeping again and only get a few hours of sleep before seeing the dentist.  Hopefully, I'll be wrong and have a good and restful sleep....

The day started off with a visit to the doctor

 

I hate doctors' visits - especially when I receive bad news.  Today, I found out that my blood pressure spiked, and that my doctor wants me to do daily monitoring.  AARGH!   It's hard enough for me to remember to take my medications in a timely manner....

But enough of that.   After leaving the doctor, I went to BJ's to do some shopping, followed by a visit to Trader Joe's to buy some food for the week.  And then, I had time to kill before this month's co-op board meeting.

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Tonight's board meeting would be the first one with the site manager in training, and I was hoping that we could start off on the right foot. First, we had to interview an applicant to buy an apartment, and that went quickly.  And then, we met with the new site manager.  This time, things went quickly, as he understood what we were trying to do, and we understood what he was trying to say to us.  What a change of tome from our prior meetings!  After he left, we took care of some remaining co-op business, and ended the meeting in record time.

Next on my list of things to do would be applying for social security.  As much as I expected that I'd have problems with the process, it went smoother than expected.  For example, when I had to enter data in regard to my late wife, the application form made it easy for me to bypass data that I don't have anymore - such as her social security number.  Now, I have to wait until money starts flowing into my checking account.  Then, I'll deal with fixing the tax withholding on both my pension payments and my social security payments.

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As I've said in other posts: Most of what goes on in a transgender person's life has nothing to do with being transgender.  We still put our trousers on one leg at a time.  But we also have to deal with other issues which would not have been expected for us if we were cisgender.

Giving away some wigs - a quick post

 

The other day, I found a couple of wigs of the style (and quality) I used to wear when I first started going out as Marian.  By the standard of wigs I wear today, these were the equivalent of cheap costume jewelry. Although the style looked good on me, I would have to replace the wig on a monthly (or even, a bi-weekly basis) to be wearing something that looks good on me.

Years ago, I started wearing inexpensive wigs that cost $60 or so.  They served my purpose way back when, but I knew I needed to wear something better.  So, I graduated to wearing wigs in the $300-$400 range, and replacing them every 6 months or so.  (I still can't believe that one of my current wigs still looks OK after 9+ months of wear.  But I will soon be using it as a backup when I take my upcoming Bahamas cruise.)  There's a part of me that would like to try a much more expensive human hair wig that costs $1,800-$2,500 or so (as once recommended by my former cruise partner, FCP), but I am uncomfortable spending that kind of money on a wig when my face still looks relatively masculine - even with properly applied makeup.

What might the big deal be in regard to the human hair wig?  To answer this, one has to understand the psychology of the largest group of consumers (in the New York Area) for human hair wigs - the ultra orthodox Jewish women whose faith prohibits them from showing their real hair in public.  To get around this, they wear wigs in place of their own human hair as a way to skirt around laws of their faith. (Don't get me started about their Eruvs.)  FCP came from such a tradition, and wanted me to upgrade my look.  But, I realized that it made more sense to be able to replace my wigs in the same way that women might try new hair styles and colors until they get one that works - then stick with it for a while.

Right now, I have 4 unworn wigs in my closet, and will be taking it out to replace the oldest wig that I now wear.  Hopefully, I will be able to get as much wear out of this wig as I have its predecessor.....

 

 

 

PS: One can feel the difference between an old and new wig.  And that's how I usually determine when to retire a wig.  So keep a new one around to compare the feel between old and new wigs.  When the old one starts feeling worn out, replace it.  You'll be glad you did.