Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Stepping Stones


When I first tried to enter the workforce years ago, I encountered a problem common to many young people.  In order to get a job, I first needed to have a job.  Now that I'm an older person, I have that same problem again.  It would be much easier for me to find work if I were already employed.  Well, it looks like this problem may soon have a resolution. 

- - - - - -

My alarms woke me up at 8:30, and brought me to full consciousness by 9:00. My TV was turned to my usual channel, and my favorite courtroom drama was playing when I got another call from the Census Bureau.  This time, they were calling me about the IT position that I really was looking for when I filed paperwork with them.  So when my TV show ended, I returned the call and now I have an interview scheduled for tomorrow morning.  Hopefully, I'll get an offer before I'd have to start the other position mentioned in an earlier entry

Even though the Census positions are temporary, they would be stepping stones I could use to find work outside of government.  Of course, I'd want to socially transition while on the job, so that I could interview as Marian and leave Mario behind when looking for work. So, I won't get too far ahead of myself.  Instead, I'll hold off from scheduling my planned cruise and assume that 2020 will be a year without a vacation for me.

Once I was done with the Census Bureau, I looked at today's weather forecast.  There was no way that I was going to go to today's Arts Westchester meeting, and even much less of a chance that I'd go to today's Fun Time Friends meetup.  (Note: By mid morning, I received an email from Arts Westchester's volunteer coordinator that the meeting was rescheduled for next week.) This freed up my day, and allowed it to be a Jammie Day.  And then, I received a text from SWD saying that she couldn't make lunch today.  Well, the expected snow became a fortunate coincidence, as I had our lunch scheduled for Wednesday.  I'd have hated to have crossed signals with her.  So we rescheduled our lunch for 2 1/2 weeks from now.

- - - - - -

Around 1:00 pm, the weather forecast predicted that 6" to 12" of snow would fall in my area. There was no way that I'd go out in this weather.  Instead, I decided to stay in and take care of things that I could take care of indoors - and prepare to get up early tomorrow to clean off my car AND to go to the interview that I scheduled before paying attention to the weather report.






Monday, December 9, 2019

A weekend whose plan changed before it really started


Considering how busy GFJ and I would be this Thanksgiving, we decided that we'd get together for a date sometime after her two sons left for home.  With the expected snow to come on Sunday, we changed our plans, so that we could see a movie on Saturday night, then go out to eat.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and I didn't bother getting up until noon.  Not only didn't I have much to do.  But a couple of books that I placed on hold with the library had yet to come in.  So my original plan of spending the day as Marian was completely scotched because of the change of plans mentioned in the prior paragraph.  That was OK with me, as I hate getting dressed, only to switch into my alternate presentation for the second half of the day.

Around 3 pm, I left for Newburgh where Midway was playing.  It was the only film that the two of us could agree on - either she had seen the film before, or it didn't hold interest to her.  So we agreed to meet at 4 pm, and I started my drive at 3:10.  Why do I mention exact times?  Well, I got stuck behind a couple of tourists on Route 9, and couldn't push the speed limit as much as I'd like.  (This is just as well, as I know I drive a little over the limit at times.) But what bothered me is that when I crossed the bridge, there was a big traffic jam just beyond old exit 10.  So I bailed out before the jam, and took back roads to the theater.  Luckily, I had taken most of these roads at least once before, and knew enough to follow the convoy from old exit 10 to a spot near old exit 7a, ending up less than a block away from the theater.

I arrived at the theater 5 minutes late, and we sat down to watch the film just as the movie started.  Perfect timing - we didn't have to sit through the trailers.  Midway is an enjoyable war flick, but I have one unavoidable criticism: They had to use CGI animation for all of the external aircraft carrier, US/Japanese aircraft, and air battle scenes, as there are no longer enough aircraft from either side to simulate the air battles.  With this being said, I had to give the film makers credit for making things look as real as possible.  If I weren't so familiar with CGI renditions of real life objects, I wouldn't have thought about CGI being used in the film.

When the film ended, GFJ noted that the air battles had too much gun fire.  Part of me wanted to say "Duh!" but I didn't want to upset her - she probably compromised to find a film that I might like.  Instead, I said that we should go for dinner - and it was off to the Chinese Buffet nearby. All too soon, dinner ended and we had to go our separate ways. 

Later in the evening, my brother responded to a message I sent him.  And he surprised me by telling me that he finally bought a new phone - a Motorola Z4.  I think he'll be very happy with it.  If I didn't already have the Z3, I'd be buying the Z4 for less than I paid for the Z3.

- - - - - -            - - - - - -            - - - - - -

Sunday came, and I woke up early enough to go to church.  As much as I don't plan to be a regular church goer, there is something I like in the old rituals that gives me comfort.   Due to the nature of religion, change comes slowly to the traditional service structure, and it's easy to pick up where one left off.  If one is Catholic, you might remember when the church gave its approval for services to be given in the vulgar (read: common) tongue.  In my church, the idea of "sharing the peace" was cribbed from changes occurring in the Catholic church at that time. 

Sometimes, during a church service, my mind veers away from the service itself and onto simple ideas I wouldn't put together outside of a serene setting.  Today, my mind started focusing on the word "communion" and how it relates to "community."  From there, I connected the dots to the word "Communism" and I could see the disconnect between many "Conservative Christians" and the belief structure contained in the scriptures.

John Calvin posited that if you were going to be blessed by God in the afterlife, that God would be rewarding you in this life.  Prosperity would become an indicator of being blessed. In short, we have the beginnings of the false gospel of prosperity that many people believe in.  Today, many Evangelicals have given up the underlying message of Christianity (Feed the hungry, heal the sick, help the poor, etc.) and are doing the exact opposite. They are judging people without knowing the circumstances which affect those in need.

Communion, Community and Communism - What is the link connecting these words?  It is a community coming together to take care of its needy.  Sadly, the word "Communism" has been contaminated by the flawed political system and flawed economic theory that is associated with that word.  The Red Scare of the 1950's still haunts us today.  Use the words "Communism" or "Socialism" and one triggers up cultural memories of an era where America's propaganda machine labeled the Eastern Bloc as Atheists without morals or ethics. If one lived in this bloc before the Soviet Union fell, one would see his/her government as a problem, and see America's propaganda as just that.  They would feel that America has no soul - we were caught in crass commercialism and materialism.

When the service ended, I was again reminded of the healthy version of these words.  Communion - coming together to share ideas which make us better as individuals and as a group.  Community - being part of a larger group, and not needing to be alone in this world. Communism - the idea that we voluntarily share with others so that their needs can be taken care of.   No matter what that faith is, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc., a healthy faith teaches us that we are all part of something larger than we are, and that we should take an active part in improving that larger whole.

- - - - - -

After church, I took a quick trip to the grocery store in advance of the incoming storm.  Unlike many people, all I needed was enough stuff to get me through a day or two. When the storm passes, the roads will be quickly cleared, and I can go out again.  Until then, I might as well do another load of laundry.




Sunday, December 8, 2019

The last month of the year tends to be the businest month for me.


December.  It's the best month to visit New York City, as all the store Christmas decorations are on display, and it's not too cold to enjoy walking around the neighborhoods.  But it's also the busiest time for people like me, as we use this period as an excuse to excessively schedule our time to meet as many people as possible.

- - - - - -

As most of my readers know, GFJ and I have broken our routines for the last 5 years.  Whether we will go back to where we once were is up to her.  All I can do is be available. Therein lies an interesting conundrum for me.  Given what happened about a month or so ago, I have started to book my weekends independent of her.

Since the beginning of September, our schedules have grown a little out of sync with each other.  I've had my cruise, she's had her vacation in Florida, she will be spending an upcoming weekend going to a baby shower and to see her son, and we will likely be apart for the holidays.  Do I want to invest time in her without assurance of a positive return?  It's a hard question for me to answer, as I'm afraid of opening up my heart again only to have it broken. 

Recently, she hinted that she wanted to get together on a specific weekday, and I said that I wasn't too sure of what I had going on.  This was true - I didn't bother to check my calendar. I knew that I had a couple of things to take care of, but I wasn't sure about having dinner. And I knew that both of us would be busy for the next two weeks, save for a weekend day when we were free from family duties.  So we had dinner together and another long talk.

Throughout the rest of the month, I expect that there will be even more conflicts in our schedules.  My brother is going to England soon, and will be there for two weeks.  Since I have to be in the NYC area for my Dad while my brother is away, there is no way I could accompany GFJ to see her son even if I were asked to go. The rest of December will be very busy, as my meetup groups and other gatherings are filling up most open days and evenings up to the end of the year.

Given where I am in life, the problem of being Marian vs. having Romance has reared its ugly head, and I have no clean solution that allows me complete happiness.  All I can do is muddle through, and look for a solution which provides a reasonable amount of happiness. I've been honest about the trade offs I am willing to make, and I hope that they are enough to maximize my potential return on romantic investment.


Saturday, December 7, 2019

I have a good, but temporary feeling....


This morning, I got a call back from the US Census Bureau.  They asked me if I was interested in an Office Operations Supervisor position.  Considering it was an "inside job" (Full Time) located less than 5 miles away from home (Peekskill), I figured that I might as well say that I was interested in this temporary position, and accept that I could make a few extra bucks while waiting for a better position to come along.

- - - - - -

Normally, I don't answer my phone between 9 and 10 in the morning.  Once Fred Steiner's tune (Park Avenue Beat) begins to play and Raymond Burr's image (as Perry Mason) appears on my TV, my telephone will not get answered until the end of the show.  It is a guilty pleasure of mine, and it might be the one reason I may eventually subscribe to the CBS All Access streaming channel in the future.  (Of course, having Star Trek and The Twilight Zone there doesn't hurt either.) But once the show ends, I make myself available to people who want to talk with me. Today was a day where I followed my typical routine.

Around 9:30, the lady called from the census bureau looking to contact me.  A little while after the show had ended (and I had a chance to fully wake up), I called her back. A short description of this position follows:

As an Office Operations Supervisor, you will be responsible for the supervision of the day-to-day activities of the office clerks who support payroll, recruiting or supply management. Also monitoring the quality of work including the status and production.

However, the script that was read to me had much more detail than the two sentence blurb above.  When she read the script about the position, I picked up on the following information:

Assists in:
  • Payroll
  • Inventory Management
  • Clerical Tasks
  • Flow Control
  • Quality Assurance
Hours: 8-4 or 9-5      5 days/week     8 hours/day
Hired on for 8 weeks at a time. 
Trains Clerks and reviews their work
Monitors Progress against time critical schedules.


You'll note that the two sentence blurb contains all the same information I wrote down in my notes. But with both my notes and the blurb, I have a better idea of what will be expected of me - and from this job, I could eventually get an office manager job at a small business.  (This just happens to be the same kind of position that my late wife had.  My collar may be getting pinker every day.😀 )  However, this is not the position I really would have liked to have been called back for. (I had applied for a position which involved the maintenance of computer equipment on the same site.)  But if it can keep me from having to drain my savings account for a few months, it's worth taking on the position for 8 weeks at a time. The only problems I see are that I can't schedule my vacation cruise when I want to take it, I lose my flexibility to do things in the daytime, and I may have to be at work by 8 am.  OUCH!

- - - - - -

The big question:  Would I be able to socially transition on the job?





PS: The more I looked at the email and paperwork I received, it looks like I've been given an offer, as long as I pass a background check and get fingerprinted.  Although they had a training class the week following next, it interfered with long booked plans.  So I scheduled my fingerprinting for the day before that class, so that I'd have to be scheduled for a later class.  But I will ask one question before I go in for my fingerprinting - I am gender non conforming, with plans to transition.  Can I go for my ID card in my feminine presentation, and have the familiar, not my formal given name on the ID card?






Friday, December 6, 2019

Thanksgiving - And nothing got in the way to mar it except traffic.


I'm not sure of what I can and should say about today.  Nothing bad happened.  But part of me would rather have stayed in Westchester and taken advantage of an invite I had to spend the day with my friends from Game Night.

- - - - - -

Not sleeping well last night, I set the alarms to get me moving around 11 - and slept through my favorite TV show of the day.  I prefer the fictional courtroom drama of Perry Mason to the real life political drama going on today.  There is a part of me that always wants to see justice done, and real life doesn't provide enough of that for my taste.  By the time I finally got out the door, it was 1 pm, and I was about an hour late.

My drive to Long Island was uneventful until I reached the Bronx.  From there, traffic slowed to a crawl, and I was forced to get on side streets to make it to the bridge.  Once I was across the bridge, I went back onto side streets again to make it to my brother's place, arriving there at 3 pm, when I was expected at 2.  This was not a problem, as my brother had already picked up my dad from the nursing home, and the turkey was almost cooked.

We chatted about many things, and brought my dad back to the nursing home around 8.  One area of discussion covered addiction, choice of mate, and how relationships flounder. And that gave me an opening to discuss my criteria for choosing my late wife, my issues with Ex-GF-M, and some of the issues GFJ and I are having with each other.  (By my mention of complacency in the relationship, I avoided the need to talk about my transgender nature.) He touched on similar issues he had with his wife.  And we both (at different times) brought up our problems with my niece to make sure that she knows when to cut and run from a dysfunctional relationship.

Eventually, it was time to go home. And I hit only one small traffic jam on the way home.  On the whole, it was a good day - especially, since my brother was able to open up to me and that I didn't have to see my sister in law as expected.  (Nothing against her, save that her presence would have gotten in the way of my chat with my brother.)


Thursday, December 5, 2019

Phone calls : Sometimes, my land line can be useful


Landlines and telephone calls.  Most of the time these days, they are spam calls for me.  But sometimes, keeping the old land line still has some value to me. Today was one of them.

- - - - - -

In no particular order, over the past few days, I received calls from the following:
  1. GFJ (We talk almost every day).
  2. My Accountant (I had some questions, and I wasn't able to call her back).
  3. The US Census Bureau (I had applied for a position, and this may have been about the first position I applied for).
GFJ had sent me a series of messages which gave me something to think about.  In short, both of us may have been getting a little bit lazy in our relationship, and she noted that she was getting jealous of my scheduling time with Patty and with my niece to do special things.  Why not GFJ?  Mind you, she noted that she was doing the same thing when she schedule a vacation with her friend.  So it was not blaming the problem on me, as it was blaming the problem on us.  This means that part of our problems can be fixed - as long as we stay aware of things.  And we will likely have another intense conversation about this the next time we're together.

Next was my accountant.  She and I have been playing telephone tag.  What I wanted to know was how much money I'd need to hold in reserve to pay estimated taxes on this year's income.  I cashed out an IRA in 2018 that raised my income by $4,600, and I had to pay about $4,000 in estimated taxes on all my 2018 income.  How much less would it be if I booked $4,600 less income?  Then, I had to find out how much money extra I should withdraw, if I withdrew $5,000 to take a special cruise.  Based on the information she gave me, I think I'll need to withdraw an extra $7,500 to pay for the cruise AND pay for the estimated tax payments through the year.  (I'll call her after the holiday to confirm my guesstimates.)

Finally, I received a call from the US Census Bureau regarding a position I previously applied for.  Since I applied for both an "inside" computer related position, as well as an "outside" census taking position, I am not sure of which position the lady was calling about.  She said to return the call before the end of the day, but she must have left early.  At least, I was able to leave a message on her machine.

- - - - - -

Later on in the day, I got ready to go to Fran's place for a pre-Thanksgiving party.  Fran is "out there", a transwoman who marches to her own beat.  Going to one of her parties means being there to hear Fran sing karaoke, as well as watch her perform a scene from her play based on her own life. It's not the best of places to meet someone and chat - Fran (and her daughter) love to be the center of attention, and will command it.  Yet, it's far from as bad as I'm making this sound. One can have the conversations I thrive on as soon as Fran is "off stage".

On the way to Fran's place, I stopped at Ulta Beauty to pick up some Dermablend foundation.  Although I got my container in a slightly different shade than usual, I figure that the face powder I use to set the foundation will bring it to the color I seek.  (I do it already with a slightly different color.  So I should be able to accomplish the same with this shade of flesh tone.)  After I was finished at Ulta, I drove to Fran's and parked around the corner from her place.  (Before I go on any further, there is no street parking where she lives, and all guests are asked to park at the church next door.)  Before I had the chance to  sit down, I was "accosted" by Kelly, and got the latest scoop from her.  And then, I was finally able to sit and relax.

After a couple of conversations and too much dessert, the party started to break up.  And it was time for me to go home.  In the past, I'd be chatting with FCP.  But that boat has long sailed away.  Normally, I'd call GFJ.  But her sons were at her place for Thanksgiving, and I expected that she'd be busy with them.  So I drove home listening to the radio instead.





GFJ
US Census
Evelyn

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Thinking about an old friend

I first met WDS when I was 16.  That was about 46 years ago.  He lived around the block from the college we once attended.  In many ways, he was the smarter of the two of us.  Yet, he was the one to praise my intelligence.  He never graduated from the school. Yet, he had a more successful technical career than I had.  He had the drive to keep up with changing times and provide for his own security, where I was secured by the bronze handcuffs of the firm I once worked for.

WDS was born in South America, and immigrated to the US at a young age.  I don't know much about his pre-college years, as we never discussed that part of his life.  At the time I met him, he was playing around with experimental music.  But the thing we had most in common was an interest in programming computers.  He saw me as the young kid who'd sneak into computer centers to have his programs run. (I was the type who'd hack security to do what I wanted to do, but never had the wish to cause others any harm.) He was the more pragmatic one of our motley pairing. Education was to serve a purpose, and when formal education was no longer needed, he dispensed with it.

There is a several year difference in our ages, and he was the one who first found a full time job.  A year later, I followed suit, and left the world of day-time studies.  (I finished my undergraduate degree at night, taking 4 calendar years to finish my last year of studies.)   Eventually, we ended up in the same firm - for about 2 weeks.  And then, our career paths never crossed again.  However, we did take advantage of the fact that we were young, had high incomes, and no responsibilities.  I can still remember going into Greenwich Village for a French Dinner that cost each of us $100 - almost 40 years ago.  (Could you imagine what I could have done had I been more frugal with my money?)

As with most cisgender males, women have a "nasty" habit of coming into our lives.  I never was that successful in dating. But WDS was, and got married to a woman who couldn't stand my presence.  So we lost contact for several years.  And then, out of the blue, WDS reestablished contact after getting a divorce and our friendship was renewed.  A few years later, WDS met another woman and married her.  This time things were better - the two of them got along well, and his wife was able to tolerate (if not feel comfortable with) my friendship with WDS.

During this era, I got a job with the bank, and was there for 30 years.  I also met my wife, and WDS was best man at our wedding.  But our lives grew further and further apart - we had very different interests, and WDS had the social polish that I could never have.  (His father was a successful man in South America, and made sure that he had the social skills to travel in any social circle.)

My friend was there for me when my wife took ill and when she died.  And I was there for him when his wife committed suicide. Sadly, she suffered from the same type of cancer that took my late wife, and didn't want to spend the last 2 months of her life doped up and unable to have rational thought. Almost a decade later, I can still remember the basic details of that evening as if it were yesterday.

The last time I saw WDS was at a local pizzeria.  He came up to meet me and Ex-GF-M.  We had a nice lunch, and I always thought that I would see him again.  That hasn't happened.  However, about t years later, he sent me a gift - a fully loaded iPad Air 2, with LTE for when I don't have WiFi access.  This must have set him back a nice penny.

In the years since then, we have communicated exclusively by email.  I neither have a mailing address or phone number for him.  He does work for the local "Agility" (competitive dog training) circuit where he lives, but there is little trace of him otherwise.  I know that he kept busy doing very technical things - software technology that I don't even understand.  He has suggested that I get back into programming.  But I wouldn't know how to get back in and make a buck from it.  So I decided to take down my technology shingle and let youngsters with more energy stay in that rat race.





WDS does not yet know that I am trans.  I just wonder what would happen when or if he finds out....






Tuesday, December 3, 2019

The only thing I bothered doing was as Mario


I didn't have much to do today.  So I ended up staying inside until I went to dinner with GFJ as Mario.  No laundry, even though I had (3 or more) loads waiting for me to bring downstairs.  No straightening up the apartment, even though I've made a big mess of this place since my cleaning lady's last appearance.  And no shopping, although that would have occupied some time and alleviated some of the boredom I've been dealing with lately.

My transgender nature is a problem for GFJ, and I won't go into many details here.  Although I've said that Mario will always be available for her, she is uncomfortable when I present as Marian.  This is easy to understand.  But it has caused us problems, and I'd bet that she'd always have some reservations about Marian unless she were to learn how not to see Marian as a threat to her relationship with Mario.  Strangely enough, she had always encouraged my growth as Marian, and now things once repressed are now coming to the surface.

Driving to Newburgh for dinner is something I don't mind doing.  And we had a pleasant dinner once I arrived.  (She took a nap in the diner's parking lot while waiting for me - she was already in town, and it didn't make sense to go home just to come right back to eat.)  But after dinner, we had another serious conversation where nothing much was resolved.  Yet, with nothing final taking place, there is always hope we can come to an acceptable resolution of our issues.

- - - - - -

On the way home, I called my brother to find out what's going on in his life.  It seems like my sister in law is dealing with her problems and realizes that she can't help a son who doesn't want to be helped.  What saddens my brother is that the mother of their two kids lost many of the opportunities to bond with her offspring because of problems triggered by her son from her previous marriage.  Since it would be wrong of me to go into any more details right now, I'll have to keep quiet until I'm ready with a way to describe things that does not identify my family in the process.

At least, I expect Thanksgiving to be a calm day, even though I don't know what time I'll arrive at my brother's place.  His wife will be there without her eldest son, and her son will not be pulling the triggers that get in the way of her maintaining her sobriety.


Monday, December 2, 2019

This weekend turned out differently than I would have expected.


Saturday was the second day at the Hudson Valley Trans Forum, and I planned to make it for the one topic I was interested in: Medical Options for Binary/Non-Binary Transition and Health Maintenance, presented by Robbins Gottlock, MD of Phelps Hospital Northwell Health  This is the kind of information that I would need for medical transition, and I figured that I'd attend and develop the kinds of questions I'd need to ask when the time comes.

As usual, I needed the alarm clock to get me up and moving in time to attend the above session - and I arrived just before the day's keynote address was given.  (I may discuss Trans activism in another entry.  But right now, I'm more concerned about what I can do to make my body more feminine.)  The morning breakout session was the event I came for - and the speaker delivered.  Most of his presentation covered the effect of female hormones on Male to Female transgenders.  But he also covered information for the Female to Male transgenders for the smaller population of that category in the audience.  I've filed his name away, as I may want to consult with him in the future. (This assumes that I am not in a relationship that requires me to retain male physical characteristics. If I am with someone like GFJ, I will not go any further with physical transition, as I do not suffer severe dysphoria.)

Once this session broke up, it was lunch time.  I was seated with three people, and was in the middle of an interesting conversation when they started their lunch presentation to announce a new service being provided to Trans folk of color in the Hudson Valley.  As one would expect from ineffective people, they focused more on the name of the collective and none of the specifics of what the collective would do for the people they are supposed to serve.  This reminded me of a group of women that Pat once associated with.  They spent much of their time discussing what to call the group, and then did absolutely nothing together ever again. Sadly, they have identified a group of vulnerable people who need help. But they have made the common leftist mistake of going "Ready, Fire, Aim" when going into battle....

- - - - - -


Later on in the evening, I was the Arts Westchester representative doing a review of this theater and the 3 short plays being performed this weekend.  I wasn't sure of what to expect, nor was I absolutely sure of where the theater was.  Unlike many towns, Ossining's Water Street is not immediately adjacent to the river.  This could mean any of two things: (1) The road once ran down to the river, or (2) the land West of Water Street is made from landfill.  Either way, once I was on Water Street, the GPS led me to the wrong location.  Luckily, I realized that GPS systems don't always provide correct directions, and that I'd have to drive along Water Street to find the theater.

The Westchester Collaborative Theater is a small 50 seat operation sited near the Ossining train station.  To find it, one can not rely on a GPS.  Instead, one has to drive along Water street towards the train station and look for standing signs pointing to a theater building at the end of a short alley.  Luckily, I saw those signs and parked my car about 100 feet away from the alleyway.  Then I went in and was warmly greeted by the staff.  What I wasn't expecting was a small theater packed to capacity with good actors performing 3 very well written plays.  If I had known about this place before, I might have gone to see some of their performances without Arts Westchester's free ticket. Hopefully, I'll get the chance to review another one of their performances.  Until then, I'll be sure to monitor my email for notices from this place, as I'd pay to see things this good in a small setting.

- - - - - -

Sunday was a rainy day.  So I made it a Jammie Day.  Not much to say about it, save that I woke up early enough to go to church and did not do so.  Instead, the comfort of my bed was much more enticing to me.  Recently, I've noted the most important reason for me to go back to work.  No, it's not money (though I could use it).  Instead, it's having a routine that forces me to get up in the morning to do something constructive. And I know that all of the volunteer work I could do won't cut it for me. It's that extra incentive of receiving a paycheck that will help me get up in the mornings, and keep me from having excuses to have more Jammie Days than I really need to have....



Sunday, December 1, 2019

I keep on checking out prices on the 15 day Hawaii cruise


Sometimes, prices go up when planning a cruise.  When I first started tracking the price of a 15 day Hawaii cruise out of San Francisco, princess.com supplied the following price for an inside cabin on cruise leaving in early November: 

  • Base Fare          -  $1844 (includes $922 single supplement)
  • Port Fees/Taxes -      241 
  • Gratuities           -      225
    ----------------------------------
    Simple Cruise      - $2310

In the middle of November, the same site quoted me the following for a similar cruise leaving on January 27th:

  • Base Fare          - $2180 (includes $1090 single supplement)
  • Port Fees/Taxes -     241 
  • Gratuities           -     225
    ---------------------------------
    Simple Cruise    - $2646 (an increase of $336)

For fun, I decided to examine prices that Princess could get for flights bringing me into San Francisco the night before the cruise, and leave late in the day that the cruise returns to port.  (I'd take an earlier flight if I couldn't connect with a friend during the day.  That would have to be arranged before the cruise.)


  • Base R/T Airfare     - $300 (prices varied a great deal)
  • Checked Luggage   -     60 
  • Transit to LGA         -     50
  • Transit from SFO    -      50
  • Hotel in SF              -    200
  • Transit from Hotel    -     20
  • Transit to SFO         -     50
  • Transit from LGA     -     50
    ------------------------------------
    Subtotal                  -   $780
    Simple Cruise        - $2646 (an increase of $336)
    ------------------------------------
    Base Total              - $3426 (before excursions)

By the time I'm done, I expect that this would be a $5,000 cruise. I'm not sure if I would want to spend this much when unemployed.  The Panama Canal cruise that I started monitoring a while back, again starts looking like the best of bargains.



When I first ran the numbers this summer, I figured that I should budget at least $4,000 for the trip.  Since then, the overall price has changed for this cruise and my expenses are listed below:

  • Base Fare             -  $1698 (miraculously, no single supplement)
  • Port Fees/Taxes     -     543
  • Gratuities                -     315
    -------------------------------------
    Simple Cruise         - $2556
     
  • Trip to NYC Pier       -     60
  •  from Seattle Pier     -     40
    -------------------------------------
    Simple land cost      -    100
  • Airfare (SEA-JFK)      - 250
  • Trip JFK to Home        -  60
    -------------------------------------
    Minimum Cost        - $3066

Which trip would you choose?

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Did I go to the first day of the Trans Forum? Nooooo.....

As usual, I've been having a hard time getting to sleep at night.  Last night, I was to blame, as I was editing this blog and taking care of little things well into the "third shift".  So when I woke up this morning, I turned off the alarms and stayed in bed until the afternoon.  As a result, I skipped today's session of the Trans Forum being held at the LGBT Center, and  gave myself a few more hours to rest before going into NYC to see my niece at the Rubin museum.

Around 3 pm, I started getting ready to meet my niece.  Although I took a little longer than usual to get ready, I was out the door by 5:10 pm, with an expected ETA at the museum of 7 pm.  Sadly, this was not to be.  At several points along my way, there were unexpected jams that made it impossible for me to conveniently reach Pelham for a train into NYC.  First, the Southbound Sprain Brook Parkway had a several mile backup leading to the Route 287 exit.  Once past the exit, it took several miles for traffic to resume highway speeds.  Once in Yonkers, traffic jammed up again, forcing me to bail at Tuckahoe road. So I decided to get on Route 87 - another mistake, as the exit for the Cross County Parkway was also backed up much more than usual.  Instead of a trip that gave me 15 minutes of wiggle room to reach the museum, I was running over 30 minutes late. When I finally reached Pelham, the 6:15 train had just left.  I had to wait for the 6:33, which itself was delayed getting into Grand Central.  It took 45 minutes to reach NYC, and another 20+ minutes on the Subway to reach the Rubin museum. 

My niece and I finally connected with each other about 45 minutes late - on a day that she was running an hour early.  At least, she was the one waiting on me for a change.  One thing we noted on this visit to the museum - it seemed as if there was less space being devoted to exhibits than usual.  But we still enjoyed the place, even though we were focusing more on our conversation than the art itself..

While walking around, we talked about many things.  One of these things was her family situation.  She was very uncomfortable thinking about it, so I dropped the topic as soon as I got the information I needed - it looks like my brother and my niece will be cooking for Thanksgiving this year.  So I'll have to do something for dessert.  (Maybe another batch of Chocolate Almond Brownies?)  What surprised me was that my sister in law might be there.  (I won't go into the reasons why I am surprised right now. Let's say that my brother didn't feel safe with her in the house a few weeks ago.)  Hopefully, I won't see her eldest son.  (He's a waste of genetic material, and offends me with his lack of basic intelligence.) I don't want to treat him with more respect than he deserves.

After we were done with the museum, we walked over to A Salt and Battery - a wonderful British style Fish and Chips place.  No atmosphere, but great fish.  And it was there that I talked about my situation with GFJ, as well as the situation with my former cruise partner that caused us to end our friendship.  My niece was shocked about this cruise partner's actions, having the same feelings that Vicki #1 had when I told her the full story. And my niece understood (in a different, but healthy way) why I had to disconnect from this woman and go on my own.  (My niece had to leave home for several years due to the insanity at home. As a result, she's not the kind of woman who'll put up with bullshit from anyone.)

All too soon, it was time to go home.  I accompanied her to Penn Station, where she caught a train home.  While I was on my train home, she texted me and told me how lucky she was.  The train after hers derailed as I remember her text, and all later trains were being backed up on the main line of the LIRR.  As for me, I had an uneventful trip to Pelham, and an uneventful drive home.







Friday, November 29, 2019

The last Speech Therapy session before Thanksgiving

There is only so much one can do with a cisgender male's vocal equipment to generate a feminine sounding voice.  One has to train to speak in a pitch either in the androgynous range or (if lucky) be able to reach into the lower ends of the feminine range. And then, one has to develop the proper feminine prosody - something much harder to do the older a person gets.  This is what I've been trying to do in the last few years, and what I expect to be working on for the rest of my life.

- - - - - -

Getting up this morning, I had 3 things on my schedule: Lunch with Vicki #2, Speech Therapy at Mercy College, then Game Night in Yonkers.  So I got moving around 11, and was in Dobbs Ferry to meet Vicki at 1:30.  We chatted about Thanksgiving plans as well as various family problems in both of our lives.  She made me grateful NOT to have a child, as she's worrying that her son will not be able to achieve to his maximum potential.  (I phrase it this way, as I don't think she'd want specific details about her problems coming out.)  And yet, I wouldn't mind living this part of my life over and having had the challenges of child raising with what I know now.

Once done with Vicki, it was over to Mercy for my weekly speech therapy session.  As much as the 2 ladies see a lot of improvement in my voice, I don't see it.  But then, I'm hypersensitive to my voice's imperfections, and want to eliminate them for the time (if it ever comes) that I can live 24x7 as Marian.  (I'd hold off from doing this for the sake of a healthy romantic relationship.  But I won't go into that topic right now.)  I noted that the next time we meet will be the last time the 3 of us get together.  I wish them the best, as they were earnest in their attempts to improve my voice. Yet, I feel that they have a lot of maturing left to do before they can project a sense of authority in their clinician-client relationship.

Then, it was time to go home.  After nuking one of my Freshly meals from the freezer, I decided to bake a double batch of brownies for a Pre-Thanksgiving game night treat.  So I took out the mixing bowl, found 2 disposable baking sheets, mixed everything together, then baked the brownie mix for 45 minutes.  If the brownies tasted as good as the remaining batter in the bowl, then I knew I'd have a hit later on. 

Around 7:30, I packed up the brownies and headed to Yonkers.  As usual, I lost the one game I played.  But I had a good time.







Thursday, November 28, 2019

A little volunteering and a little clothes shopping.



The above picture was taken when I first started trying to dress androgynously.  I was not yet ready to wear a dress or skirt in public, nor was I prepared to present myself as a female.  I've sure come a long way since then!

- - - - - -

Last night was not a good night for sleep.  I woke up at 8 am with only 4 hours of sleep, and went back to sleep shortly after 10, waking up at 1 pm.  Of course, this meant that I was not going to get out and about early in the day as I had hoped.  Instead, I got to the LGBT Center for a 90 minute volunteer stint at 3:30-4:00, and left around 5:30.  This was truly non-eventful, as I wasn't that busy when doing my tasks.

Afterwards, I drove over to Catherine's in Paramus to browse the store.  I could use a new pair of leggings or two, but I didn't find ones I liked in my size.  So I ended up not buying anything today.  (I have my eyes on a scarf and a chenille sweater that go very well together.  The sweater is so soft and cozy, that I'll buy it as soon as it goes on sale.)  Since this will likely be my last visit before "Black Friday", I took note of the price points on garments I wanted to buy and will likely buy them as soon as they reach the point I feel they are worth my money.

- - - - - -

After I got back home, I chatted with GFJ for the better part of an hour.  She had just returned from Florida, enjoying a few days at a housing development ("The Villages") that they hope to market to potential snowbirds like GFJ.  However, GFJ will likely never move to a development like The Villages, as there is not enough there to make her comfortable living there.  As for me, if I ever get to the stage where I want to live down south part of the year, I'd consider living in a development like that - as long as I'm not stuck with excessive costs in doing so.

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

I don't know how I woke up without the alarm, but it was worth the effort to get out early.


It's always hard to get an oil change at Mavis these days.  The place is usually very busy, and that means business like mine gets pushed to the side to accommodate more profitable efforts, such as selling tires.  But if you get to the shop early enough, you can usually get in and out of the place before 10 am.  Instead of a trip for minor service costing me $500 at the dealership, my car can get what it needs for under $200.  And when one is living on a fixed income, the $300 is better in my pocket than in the dealership's till.

- - - - - -

Last night, I knew that I had to wake up early the following morning.  So I went to bed around 1 am, started the "white noise" maker, put on my CPAP mask, and readied myself for a few hours of sleep.  While I was semiconscious, my phone rang.  Seems that RO accidentally dialed me, and killed the call as soon as she started it.  But that didn't keep me alert for long, as I passed out again shortly afterwards.

When I got up, it was a couple of minutes before 7.  So I turned off all my alarms, took my shower, and went out the door as Mario.  I arrived at Mavis at 8, and asked them to look at my front end when they did the oil change and rotated the tires.  I was right, when I hit the curb last Thursday, I knocked the front end a little out of alignment.  So I was glad I got this taken care of before I ruined my tires by uneven tread wear. About $160 later, my car was ready, and I was ready to drive home.  So back to Croton I drove, and back to bed I went for a little while to try and catch up on a few Z's I missed the night before.

- - - - - -

Of course, with the coffee I consumed earlier, I didn't have a chance to catch those Z's.  Instead, I took care of a couple of little things around the house and took it easy for a while. But then, I realized that I may have an interesting set of schedule conflicts.  Either I will need to cancel my attendance at a FTF Meetup dinner or cancel my attendance at a Beacon Meetup dinner due to a dinner engagement with RO.  It'll be nice to be able to see her again this year, as she had some good news to share - her daughter is finally getting married!  YAY!

But I digress a little....

Around 5:00, I started to get ready for tonight's meetup by changing into my female presentation.  It took a little longer than expected for me to get out the door, and I barely made it in time to the Meetup's restaurant.  The usual gang was there, but I couldn't sit at the table I wanted to be at - the last 3 seats had already been taken, so I ended up at another table with other people I don't get the chance to speak with that often.

Originally, I figured that I would order a small dish and get out of the place for $25 or so.  Instead, I ordered the prix fixe 3 course dinner, and ended up spending roughly $50.  (I was glad I took a $50 bill with me, as it made it possible for me to leave a nice tip without going overboard.)  Of course, I fluttered between our 3 tables, chatting with people I wanted to chat with.  However, I didn't chat with all the people I wanted to chat with - the appetizers and main course came while in the middle of chats with friends.  (At least, I'll get to chat with these people the week after Thanksgiving.)

All too soon, the evening had to end.  So it was on with my coat, and back down to Croton and home. Although I can't keep up spending money at this rate without cracking open my 401k, I'm roughly where I expected to be today.  Hopefully, one of the jobs I'm applying for will come though, and I'll be able to stop the short term drain on my savings account.






Tuesday, November 26, 2019

A rainy day, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go out again.



I decided to try and get an oil change, but to no avail.  The cars were double parked inside of Mavis's parking lot.  If I really want to get the tire rotation and oil change I need at a reasonable price, I'll have to go very early tomorrow morning.

- - - - - -

Last night, I didn't start trying to go to sleep until 2 am or so.  And it seemed to take forever for me to fall out.  But when I finally woke up, I had blown through 2 alarms, only waking up for a 10 am alarm I had set.  This meant that it was going to take some time for me to get moving, and I stayed in the comfort of a warm blanket as long as possible. Eventually, I was up and out of the house around 1 pm, and saw that there was no chance for me to get the oil change I need.  So I ended up picking up lunch at the local Mickey D's, then drove home for a while.

Around 4 pm, I looked out the window, and saw that it was raining.  Did I really want to drive to Connecticut?  I wasn't sure.  But I still had a couple of things to take care of.  First, I had received a "Canvas Letter" from NYS asking me to express my interest in a position across the river from me.  So I ran off a copy of my resume, and enclosed it with a signed copy of the letter, and returned it to Albany to be considered for the position.  Then, I found that my printer had run out of ink.  So, in addition to the Dermablend foundation I needed to buy, I also needed to buy a new ink cartridge for the printer.



I left my apartment around 5:30, which should have given me enough time to make it to the meetup in Norwalk.  Luckily, I allocated the extra 15 minutes, as there was a major backup on Route 95 that I was able to avoid by taking the Merritt.  And I got to the restaurant at the same time that the hostess was arriving.  Instead of sitting down at our table, we realized that "Happy Hour" ended at 7, and that we could still get a discounted drink at the bar.  So we placed our drink orders, had the bartender take the picture above, and then brought our drinks to the table.  From there, most of us partook of Monday's $6 burger night.  YUM!

All too soon, it was time to depart.  The drive home was less of a headache than the drive to the meetup - there was no rush hour start and stops.  However, the rain did get in the way of enjoying the drive, as I had to be much more alert than I usually would be. So I was very glad that I didn't take full advantage of Happy Hour....






Monday, November 25, 2019

A weekend in the middle of the month


The weekend.  Most people live for it.  As for me, those two days are like any other day.  This is both the blessing and curse of being out of the workforce for several years.  I have the freedom to do what I want, but no urgency to getting around to doing it.

- - - - - -

This weekend, the only thing I really wanted to do was to go to dinner with Vicki #1.  So, on Friday night, I decided to give my wig a bath and let it dry overnight.  This allowed me to have fresh, clean hair on my head when we would go to Xavier's H2O in Yonkers in the evening.

For the most part, I hung out around the house all day Saturday.  My GI Tract was giving me problems, and it did so just before I got ready for the evening.  As usual for me when going to a fancy restaurant, it was on with the LBD and some of my nicer costume jewelry, and out the door when Vicki arrived.

Vicki has grown very uncomfortable driving in the dark.  So I agreed to do the driving to Yonkers.  In a way, it was like visiting a past that is long gone.  My late wife worked near the Getty Square area, opposite the former city jail.  I remembered the area with quite a few run down industrial structures made of old red brick.  Most of those structures have been either been rehabbed to look better than new.  And the ones that have been town have been replaced by sleek, new multistory buildings which fetch excessive rents.  And this would effectively be my first time back in the area in years.
 
Xavier's is in the building which used to be the old Yonkers pier. To park there, one must use Valet parking shared between two restaurants.  It's not bad when one drops of her car. But when one picks up her car, the wait in the cold on the waterfront can be quite chilling - I was glad I was wearing tights under my dress. 





Vicki preceded me into the restaurant.  The dining floors of the place were one and two stories off of water level.  I'd bet that they are making sure that in case of potential floods, that the operations areas of the restaurant are unaffected.  But I digress.  We arrived at the reception desk and were guided to a table on the second floor.  (The above is the view from the window directly behind me. It's nice to have the NYC skyline as a distant background.)  There's not much I can say about the place better than that I'd go back there in a heartbeat. The service was excellent, and everything put in front of us was perfect.

We talked about many things on the way home, including my relationship with GFJ and the possibility of my finding another partner.  She was trying to avoid unnecessary cruelty to me in saying that "not every pot has a lid."  (Not her words, but it's an expression that works here.) This is something I already knew, and was comfortable with her being able to tell me an uncomfortable truth that I've had to deal with for a while.

Eventually, we made it home, and she left for the evening.  As for me, I stripped off my dressed and packed it in for the night.  What I didn't know at the time was that I wouldn't be going out the following day.  I had no energy or desire to get up and about.  Nor, did I see any other reason to have me do so.   







Dinner with Vicki

What I think was a minor cold woke me up, and kept me awake until I used some cold/cough syrup. 

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Comparing prices on long and short cruises.


On a solo cruise I took last year, I found out about this cruise from a woman who planned to take it in 2020.  However, her mother needed eye surgery.  And in Canada, you take the dates you can get for non-essential surgery.  This means that she won't be on this cruise. But I may still go on it.

When I first ran the numbers this summer, I figured that I should budget at least $4,000 for the trip, broken down as follows:

  • Base Fare          - $2298 (includes $1149 single supplement)
  • Port Fees/Taxes -     543
  • Gratuities           -     315
    ---------------------------------
    Simple Cruise    - $3360
     
  • Trip to NYC Pier -       60
  •  from Seattle Pier -     40
    ---------------------------------
    Simple land cost  -    100
  • Airfare (SEA-JFK) -   250
  • Trip JFK to Home    -  60
    ---------------------------------
    Minimum Cost    - $3870

Of course, things aren't always what they seem.  I decided to see what the current price for the cruise was listed for on vacationstogo.com, and saw that the cost for an inside cabin had dropped by $200.  This means that I'd still be close to $3,800 for the cruise without any excursions.  That wasn't good enough for me.  So, in late October, I checked ncl.com for the same cruise and got the following results:

  • Studio Cabin: from $2,099
  • Inside Cabin:  from $1,198
  • Oceanview:    from $2,099
  • Balcony:         from $2,399
  • Mini-Suite:      from $2,849

You'll notice that having an inside cabin costs less than having a studio cabin.  There is more room in the inside cabin, but it does not have access to the studio cabin's lounge area. But the $1,000 difference in price from the time I started tracking this cruise and now is making me reconsider taking this cruise.  My net daily expense (excluding land/air transit) would drop from $160/day to $100/day.  My net minimum cost has dropped to under $3,000. This looks like a great bargain in the making.

Towards the end of July, I noted in my old blog that NCL practices yield management. This means that one can and will see pricing anomalies throughout the sales life of the cruise. Once within 90 days of the cruise, most of the people who have planned to go on the cruise have already made their bookings for the cruise.  And this is the period where price/value calculations start to create anomalies more exaggerated than the $900 difference between the studio cabin and the inside cabin above.  This is also the period where I start seriously tracking prices for cruises I want to take, so that I can pounce on a rare great deal.


Not all great deals are a result of complex yield management. Within the last month before the cruise, some lines (such as Princess) offer last minute specials.  I logged into princess.com priced a last minute 15 day Hawaii cruise (including air) from San Francisco leaving the first weekend in November, and got inside cabin price of $922/per person. 

  • Base Fare          - $1844 (includes $922 single supplement)
  • Port Fees/Taxes -     241
  • Gratuities           -     225
    ----------------------------------
    Simple Cruise --  - $2310

Of course, airfare might have to be bought through the cruise line, as last minute airfares can be very expensive otherwise.  I expect that the Hawaii cruise would likely set me back close to $3,500, as I would want to take the shore excursions I wouldn't bother taking on the Panama Canal run. Considering that Princess can not offer 7 day Hawaii cruises that only NCL can offer, I'd bet that Princess will offer similar last minute deals on their Hawaii runs as the sale time for each cruise starts to run out.  So, if I want to do a Hawaii run, I may hold off until it is close to embarkation day and take advantage of any last minute discounts that may be offered.


Compare the NCL 7 day Hawaii cruise above to the Princess 15 day cruise mentioned earlier.  The NCL cruise overnights in Kauai (Nawiliwili) and Maui (Kahului), while the Princess cruise daylights these ports. The extra time in port gives the cruiser much more time to enjoy the two islands.  The minor (to me) drawback of taking the NCL cruise is that there is no gambling on the cruise, as gambling is illegal in Hawaii.  But the most important difference between the two cruise line's ships is that NCL sails with an American flagged ship, while Princess sails with a "flag of convenience."  This forces Princess to make a stop in a foreign port at least once per cruise. Thus, Princess must offer 15 day cruises with a single stop in Ensenada (Mexico) if it wants to service the Hawaii cruise market.

The difference between what NCL can offer for a last minute Hawaii cruise vs. what Princess can offer for a similar cruise becomes very interesting when I look at NCL's price for a Thanksgiving time cruise.  For the November 23, 2019 cruise, I got the following results:
  • Inside Cabin:  from    $899
  • Oceanview:    from    $929
  • Balcony:         from $1,299
  • Mini-Suite:     from $5,598 (includes 100% single supplement)
Let's factor in roughly $700 for airfare, $250 for port fees, $100 for land transit, $105 for gratuities, and another $600 for shore excursions, and my total expenses for a 7 day cruise would be in the $2,700 range for an Oceanview cabin. Since NCL offers this cruise on a weekly basis, I'd bet that deals like this may show up relatively often.

You'll note that I've focused on cruises that sail within the next 6 months which stop in United States and Canadian ports. Being transgender, I need to feel safe in those few ports that I go on shore - especially while traveling with an ID showing a male presentation but presenting as a female. The Panama Canal and Hawaii cruises are (for most people) "once in a lifetime" trips, and I want to take both before I get too old to travel.














Saturday, November 23, 2019

I slept late, and found I had nothing to do after all.

Last night, I must have been exhausted.  Normally, I get to sleep around 2 am or so, and wake up between 8 and 9 am.  Today, I woke up a little before noon, and didn't get moving until about 1 pm.  This got in the way of me driving to Mavis in time for me to get a needed oil change and tire rotation.  But if I get up and out early enough tomorrow, this won't be a problem.

But first....

Given how tired I was yesterday, sleeping late this morning was a great blessing.  Getting 10+ hours of sleep is very important, and I felt very rested when I got up.  However, I realized that I had to check on things.  The first thing I did was to check the status of a meetup being held tonight.  The organizer had cancelled it due to a lack of interest.  It's no great loss.  This person has organized and disbanded several groups in the past, and never seems to keep one open long enough to gain a loyal group of followers.  (I attended one of the two women's groups she organized, and didn't feel as welcome as I did with the Fun Time Friends in Connecticut.)  Next, I got showered and dressed (as Mario), and visited Mavis to see about getting my car service done.  As I mentioned earlier, this wasn't possible today, as they had cars double parked in their parking lot.  But I did have a great chat with the desk clerk, a 21 year old fellow with much of his life ahead of him.

Going home from Mavis, I had to stop by the bank and get some money from the ATM.  One big problem - the ATM's card reader was having problems with my card.  Since this is the second time this happened on the same machine (worse now than before), I decided to inside the branch to report a problem.  Getting to the teller station, we checked my card by putting it in the reader there - no problems.  Hopefully, they will fix the problem with the outdoor ATM, as I don't like the headache of being unsure of my card's usefulness to me.

As much as I wanted to change and go out again as Marian, I couldn't find the energy to do so.  Instead, I stayed at home and took care of some little things before packing it in for the night.








Friday, November 22, 2019

It's amazing how much mess I made and had to unmake.


No, this is not my bedroom.  Mine was much more messy than this when my cleaning lady called yesterday to tell me that she was coming over today.  So I made even more of a mess before cleaning things up at 3 am.  But I got a lot done, as 3 baskets of laundry that were in the chest in front of my bed were condensed into a half basket - all ready to be sorted out and put into the correct places.

- - - - - -

I often dread the days that my cleaning lady is expected, as I can never be sure of when (or if) she will come.  She is supposed to come here no earlier than lunch time.  But sometimes, things are cut way too close for my comfort.  Luckily, I was able to get her to limit her visits to either Thursdays or Fridays, as Thursday was my scheduled day to volunteer at the LGBT Center. This allowed me the security of knowing I could sleep late on the other days, and take "Jammie Days" whenever I need to take them.

You might ask, why do I keep this lady in my employ?  The answer is simple - she is honest.  The only thing I find missing in my apartment is garbage.  Other people have to keep an eye on their cleaning ladies, as many have sticky fingers.  I was lucky to have a friend refer this lady to me, and I still employ her over 20 years later on.

- - - - - -

This semester, Thursdays also have me attending speech therapy sessions.  The two students are trying our new ideas every week.  Last week, they gave me a carry over assignment eared to have me mimic the vocal and body language used in a couple of video clips.  However, it's hard for me to do so, as I react very differently than the main characters in the clips.  For example, I never would have reacted as Lucy would in her show - I'd have never knowingly let someone hold me down.  But then, I am not a woman of the 1950's. And I am thankful for that. 

Doing the carry over exercise this morning, I realized that my voice is a little lower than I would have wanted this morning. Is it because I am not exercising my upper range enough?  I don't know.  But as long as I can stay in the androgynous pitch range and continue developing feminine vocal inflections, I'll be happy where I'm going with my voice.

- - - - - -

I was very tired when I left the house, and thought my problem could be either one of two things: sleep deprivation or lack of food energy.  So I decided to go to a Chinese Buffet near White Plains to have a bite to eat. However, the food didn't help much.  Driving over to Mercy, I went through a construction zone, got distracted outside the zone, and hit a curb.  Although I don't think I did any serious damage to the tire or rim, I will bring this incident up when I go to Mavis for my oil change and tire rotation- just to have a more learned eye look at things.  Arriving at Mercy about 90 minutes early, I looked for a parking spot where I could rest for a while before going in for my session. Backing into a spot I found, I tapped the car behind me - something I rarely do.  At that point, I knew that I needed to take a nap, and that's what I did for an hour or so.

This week's speech therapy session went well.  But when I hear my voice, I feel I sound like a teenage boy whose voice hasn't cracked.  A comment I made about my voice is that I find it easier to speak with feminine prosody when I speak with an accent - especially, a southern accent.  They understand (even if they don't speak the language of cognitive psychology) that I have to overcome 62 years of male speech patterning and replace it with speech patterns appropriate for a 62 year old female.

- - - - - -

After the session, I drove home to relax and change into something more appropriate for a casual evening. A little more than 90 minutes later, I drove back to lower county to play games.  For a change, I won a game of San Juan.  Yay!  But the next game, Dixit, was a losing effort.  I couldn't get a clue, even if everything was explained to me as a child.  Yet, I had fun, and that's the important thing.



















Thursday, November 21, 2019

It always seems as if I'm getting interrupted during my favorite TV show.


I can't help but wish I could trigger the tune "Park Avenue Beat" to play on the speaker when this entry gets opened.  It would only be fitting given the picture above.

- - - - - -

Today, I was fully awake when my favorite morning TV show came on.  And about 40 minutes into the show, I received a call that I didn't answer.  Seems like my cleaning lady wants to come 2 weeks early, as her next visit would coincide with Thanksgiving.  AARGH!  I have yet to pick up the cleaning supplies she requested on her last visit.  Luckily, I have a change of bed linens ready for her to put on the bed.

Around noon, I ended up going to the dentist, and I got some bad news.  A tooth that my former dentist was monitoring was about to fail, so my wallet will be $2500 lighter sometime next month.  OUCH!   At least I can plan for this expense, as well as another tooth that is likely to fail next year. Once done with the dentist, I went to a local pizzeria to get some lunch before going home to change into a female presentation for tonight's dinner. 

After I had changed, I performed a couple of errands before driving up to Fishkill for dinner. And at 5:45, I was on my way.  GFJ had called me while I was getting ready to leave, so I called her back.  She was on her way to her dining meetup - at the Culinary Institute of America, while I was on my way to the Dutchess Biercafe.  What was most unusual about our chat had nothing to do with its content.  Instead, we were able to keep talking, even though I drove through an area that I usually lose phone service along Route 9.  (T-Mobile has many more dead spots than Verizon, and I am still thinking of changing carriers almost a year after I started on their network.)  Both of us reached our destinations at the same time, so we agreed to call each other back after dinner.

Our meetup group had the whole of one room to ourselves.  It was very noisy, but it was fun.  WDJ sat at the table behind me, and we didn't get the chance to talk much.  Luckily, there were other ladies at my table with whom I enjoyed some nice chats.  Although the Biercafe had a restaurant week menu, I chose to order a dinner sized appetizer off the main menu - "The Best of the Wurst".  (I love German style sausages!)  And this was more than enough food for me.

On the way home, I stopped at Walmart to pick up cleaning supplies for my cleaning lady to use.  Since she will be coming tomorrow afternoon, I figured that I needed to pick up these supplies tonight.  Once out of Walmart, it was time for another phone call to GFJ.  She had still not prepared for her trip.  Hopefully, she'll do a load of wash, then dry it tonight, as she'll be very busy in the morning before she gets on the road....


I prefer to see reality than live in a fantasy world

  The other day, RQS sent me some links to various "meetup" sites whose purposes are simply to enable people to make new social co...